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Birthday weirdness

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Along the theme of " no win " situations + " its always all about nada " .

Example A:

I was going to turn 50. I'd told my foo for years that I don't particularly

enjoy birthday parties for myself. They just depress me and stress me out. So

knowing this, nada arranges a surprise 50th bday party for me. I burst into

tears and embarrass myself in public.

Example B:

(this occurred years previously to example A)

Nada had complained for years that nobody ever threw her a surprise birthday

party. She was particularly referring to dad, who had passed away a couple of

years prior. He never threw her a party even though she'd arranged two surprise

parties for him over the years.

So when I was staying with nada to nurse her after her surgery (toward the end

of her recovery; she was up and about by that time and able to dress herself,

clean herself, etc.) Sister and I threw her a surprise birthday party.

We gave her hints, told her to be dressed and look nice by 2PM but didn't tell

her why. Everyone we'd invited (our relatives and her neighbor-friends) showed

up, and nada looked miserable. We could tell how Not Happy she was during the

party, even though she was pleasant enough to her guests. Afterward Sister and

I were treated to her wrath regarding every aspect of the party. We didn't

invite all her friends. We didn't tell her she was going to have a surprise

party (duh!) We had it at her home instead of someplace like a restaurant (the

house wasn't clean enough: I'd been taking care of it for 2 months) Etc. You

name it, it was wrong and we made her unhappy instead of pleasing her.

Just another example of " You Can't Win " when you have a nada.

-Annie

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Wow. Yup, that's typical nada.

>

> Along the theme of " no win " situations + " its always all about nada " .

>

> Example A:

> I was going to turn 50. I'd told my foo for years that I don't particularly

enjoy birthday parties for myself. They just depress me and stress me out. So

knowing this, nada arranges a surprise 50th bday party for me. I burst into

tears and embarrass myself in public.

>

>

> Example B:

> (this occurred years previously to example A)

> Nada had complained for years that nobody ever threw her a surprise birthday

party. She was particularly referring to dad, who had passed away a couple of

years prior. He never threw her a party even though she'd arranged two surprise

parties for him over the years.

>

> So when I was staying with nada to nurse her after her surgery (toward the end

of her recovery; she was up and about by that time and able to dress herself,

clean herself, etc.) Sister and I threw her a surprise birthday party.

>

> We gave her hints, told her to be dressed and look nice by 2PM but didn't tell

her why. Everyone we'd invited (our relatives and her neighbor-friends) showed

up, and nada looked miserable. We could tell how Not Happy she was during the

party, even though she was pleasant enough to her guests. Afterward Sister and

I were treated to her wrath regarding every aspect of the party. We didn't

invite all her friends. We didn't tell her she was going to have a surprise

party (duh!) We had it at her home instead of someplace like a restaurant (the

house wasn't clean enough: I'd been taking care of it for 2 months) Etc. You

name it, it was wrong and we made her unhappy instead of pleasing her.

>

> Just another example of " You Can't Win " when you have a nada.

>

> -Annie

>

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I have an example of birthday weirdness that happened to my daughter when she

turned eleven earlier this year. Dad and stepnada have never sent my kids any

kind of birthday or Christmas gift--obviously as a way to punish us and show us

what little regard they have for us. Or if they do send one, it's an insultingly

cheap or stupid gift (like a stale candy cane that was bought the day after

Christmas last year--given as a gift for Christmas this year). I usually manage

to get rid of these before the kids see. BTW--dad and stepnada are not poor.

They vacation overseas every year for fun.

So this year I was surprised when a birthday card arrived for my daughter--2

months late. Stepnada had made it using one of those computer programs that help

you create your own card. On the front it had a bird, and said " A little birdie

told us we missed your birthday... " Then, when you opened the card, it said " So

I guess all we can do is say, Sorry we're late! " (No " hope your birthday was

happy, " or anything like that.)

Since we've been mocking stepnada's borderline traits, I decided to show my

daughter. She just grinned at me and joked, " Well, it might have softened the

blow if they had included $20! "

Referring to another post here: I guess we were BORDERLINED!

>

> Along the theme of " no win " situations + " its always all about nada " .

>

> Example A:

> I was going to turn 50. I'd told my foo for years that I don't particularly

enjoy birthday parties for myself. They just depress me and stress me out. So

knowing this, nada arranges a surprise 50th bday party for me. I burst into

tears and embarrass myself in public.

>

>

> Example B:

> (this occurred years previously to example A)

> Nada had complained for years that nobody ever threw her a surprise birthday

party. She was particularly referring to dad, who had passed away a couple of

years prior. He never threw her a party even though she'd arranged two surprise

parties for him over the years.

>

> So when I was staying with nada to nurse her after her surgery (toward the end

of her recovery; she was up and about by that time and able to dress herself,

clean herself, etc.) Sister and I threw her a surprise birthday party.

>

> We gave her hints, told her to be dressed and look nice by 2PM but didn't tell

her why. Everyone we'd invited (our relatives and her neighbor-friends) showed

up, and nada looked miserable. We could tell how Not Happy she was during the

party, even though she was pleasant enough to her guests. Afterward Sister and

I were treated to her wrath regarding every aspect of the party. We didn't

invite all her friends. We didn't tell her she was going to have a surprise

party (duh!) We had it at her home instead of someplace like a restaurant (the

house wasn't clean enough: I'd been taking care of it for 2 months) Etc. You

name it, it was wrong and we made her unhappy instead of pleasing her.

>

> Just another example of " You Can't Win " when you have a nada.

>

> -Annie

>

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Example A sounds like me totally!

And yes, not worth trying to please her. Not at all worth the effort.

>

> Along the theme of " no win " situations + " its always all about nada " .

>

> Example A:

> I was going to turn 50. I'd told my foo for years that I don't particularly

enjoy birthday parties for myself. They just depress me and stress me out. So

knowing this, nada arranges a surprise 50th bday party for me. I burst into

tears and embarrass myself in public.

>

>

> Example B:

> (this occurred years previously to example A)

> Nada had complained for years that nobody ever threw her a surprise birthday

party. She was particularly referring to dad, who had passed away a couple of

years prior. He never threw her a party even though she'd arranged two surprise

parties for him over the years.

>

> So when I was staying with nada to nurse her after her surgery (toward the end

of her recovery; she was up and about by that time and able to dress herself,

clean herself, etc.) Sister and I threw her a surprise birthday party.

>

> We gave her hints, told her to be dressed and look nice by 2PM but didn't tell

her why. Everyone we'd invited (our relatives and her neighbor-friends) showed

up, and nada looked miserable. We could tell how Not Happy she was during the

party, even though she was pleasant enough to her guests. Afterward Sister and

I were treated to her wrath regarding every aspect of the party. We didn't

invite all her friends. We didn't tell her she was going to have a surprise

party (duh!) We had it at her home instead of someplace like a restaurant (the

house wasn't clean enough: I'd been taking care of it for 2 months) Etc. You

name it, it was wrong and we made her unhappy instead of pleasing her.

>

> Just another example of " You Can't Win " when you have a nada.

>

> -Annie

>

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My step sister (AKA: flying monkey) threw nada a surprise 50th b.day party a

few years back. Nada loved it, actually behaved & had fun. Amazingly, I

actually got invited. And I actually had fun.

Step sis has questioned why I never come to her functions... well, duh, I

was never invited. Almost makes me wonder if she told nada to invite me and

nada never passed on the message. I do think nada tried to drive a wedge

between us. I'll never know for sure though. Guess it doesn't matter.

Mia

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