Guest guest Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Me,too...natural disasters or monsters or demons stand in for my nada in most of my dreams. I can't actually remember a single dream since childhood where I had some direct dealing with nada.In the last one I had like that,when I was six,we were in the basement and I was strapped to a conveyor belt headed for a blade that was going to chop my head off and she was standing to the side dressed like the wicked witch from Disney's " Sleeping Beauty " and laughing---too much for my psyche I think so after that she was nuclear war scenarios or ticking bombs I needed to escape from or tidal waves (I had a recurring dream of a tidal wave from the age of about three to thirty three!) > > Yeah, I have that too. Virtually every time I have a dream about my nada, she's either being nice or just neutral. > > I believe that my subconscious assigns an indirect representation of my mother when I dream of her negative, frightening behaviors. > > Instead of replaying a real memory, I'll dream of disasters like earthquakes or a building fire, or a gigantic godzilla-like creature hunting me, or I'll dream of an empty chasm I'm about to fall into, or a huge tidal wave about to drown me. > > That's another form of " splitting " , I think. It would cause an unresolvable trauma for a tiny child to comprehend that her own mother hates her or is actively trying to hurt her, so even though I am middle-aged chronologically, in my subconscious I'm still 3 years old, I guess. There is no concept of " time " in the subconscious. > > And I guess its still too terrifying even in a dream to see my own mother's face twisted with rage at me, eyes dilated to black, red-faced, her spittle hitting my face as she grips my arms hard and screams inches away from my face, hating me, shaking me, hitting me, calling me things I don't even understand, and believing I am about to die, so my subconscious assigns that real source of terror to something else... and I dream of natural disasters and monsters. > > I think you're right and our dreams of nada being just nice or neutral are our deep yearning for the normal, calm, mentally healthy, stable, reliable, trust-able mother that we never had. > > -Annie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 1, 2011 Report Share Posted February 1, 2011 Lately nada is represented by herself and then when she leaves the room, a shark. When I was a teenager I used to have a dream that I was in bed, but the bed was a car, and there were all these seatbelts that had strapped my limbs to the bed/car. And the bed/car was actually nada and it was flying out of control down the road and I couldn't escape the bed/nada/car. I had that weird dream for years, and then in my early 20s when I stayed with her one summer in college, I started having random fantasies about killing her. Just strangling her or if I was fixing dinner just taking the knife and throwing it at her--completely uncontrollable thoughts that came in out of nowhere and I would question my sanity. I moved out shortly after and never lived with her again and never would, because I realized how insane she was driving me. Whenever one of those thoughts popped into my head, I would shake my head like I was a dog that just ran into a glass door. And it was just like that--something totally invisible that came out of nowhere that I couldn't explain. > > > > Yeah, I have that too. Virtually every time I have a dream about my nada, she's either being nice or just neutral. > > > > I believe that my subconscious assigns an indirect representation of my mother when I dream of her negative, frightening behaviors. > > > > Instead of replaying a real memory, I'll dream of disasters like earthquakes or a building fire, or a gigantic godzilla-like creature hunting me, or I'll dream of an empty chasm I'm about to fall into, or a huge tidal wave about to drown me. > > > > That's another form of " splitting " , I think. It would cause an unresolvable trauma for a tiny child to comprehend that her own mother hates her or is actively trying to hurt her, so even though I am middle-aged chronologically, in my subconscious I'm still 3 years old, I guess. There is no concept of " time " in the subconscious. > > > > And I guess its still too terrifying even in a dream to see my own mother's face twisted with rage at me, eyes dilated to black, red-faced, her spittle hitting my face as she grips my arms hard and screams inches away from my face, hating me, shaking me, hitting me, calling me things I don't even understand, and believing I am about to die, so my subconscious assigns that real source of terror to something else... and I dream of natural disasters and monsters. > > > > I think you're right and our dreams of nada being just nice or neutral are our deep yearning for the normal, calm, mentally healthy, stable, reliable, trust-able mother that we never had. > > > > -Annie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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