Re: Is innate resilence the key?

[Guest guest]

yes and i think much the same things, lost opportunities, lost time, lost self

for so many wasted years and spinning of wheels.. yet perhaps there is a reason

or purpose to it all after all.. i find i can relate to other ko's and those

suffering from ptsd in ways others who have had it 'easier' cannot.. and in that

connection i have often found some meaning and peace in my life.  and so i am

grateful, now and then for my life, such as it is as a ko despite the awful

suffering and hassle that entails.  and so we can all help each other

heal.blessings, ann

Subject: Re: Is innate resilence the key?

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Friday, January 21, 2011, 7:12 AM

 

I have thought the same exact thing...that the intellectual potential I

had went in service to surviving the abuse instead of just serving *me* to be

ALL I could be.What a waste of promise,this energy and capacity used to repair a

damage that never should have been and although I have also achieved,I have lost

out on so much that I could have/might have had.I try not to obsess on

that,water under the bridge,but I agree: what a needless waste,to have to use

those resources to attend to the damage rather than using them to really,really

live as I might have.And what would have happened otherwise or what would have

been...I have many dashed opportunities,horizons that got blotted out...but as

long as we are here to draw another breath,we can determine our future.At the

risk of sounding like a Pollyanna,what happens from now can be better than

anything we could have envisioned for ourselves before.

> Like you said my intelligence helped me to survive but sometimes I wonder

> what it would happened if I would use it for some other things not just for

> surviving and fixing my damaged self almost all my life. I achieve quite a

> lot in my life but still....what a waste.

> Yenaine

[Guest guest]

Me too, one of those things that really gets at me is in books where on a

dedication page or in the intro the author often credits their wonderful parents

for their success or ability to write said book. Award acceptance speeches

crediting parents also get me. Sometimes I wonder if my parents had been the

wind beneath my wings instead the weight dragging me down how much higher and

better I would have flown. I used to think I was smart/good enough to overcome

the initial handicap though in recent years I've doubted that.

Some say that having these circumstances makes us stronger, better, sharper than

we would be otherwise. Still how can we know without a time machine and the

ability to see an alternate reality?

>

> yes and i think much the same things, lost opportunities, lost time, lost self

for so many wasted years and spinning of wheels.. yet perhaps there is a reason

or purpose to it all after all.. i find i can relate to other ko's and those

suffering from ptsd in ways others who have had it 'easier' cannot.. and in that

connection i have often found some meaning and peace in my life.  and so i am

grateful, now and then for my life, such as it is as a ko despite the awful

suffering and hassle that entails.  and so we can all help each other

heal.blessings, ann

>