Have you been on any sleepovers?? I hope not! They're BAD

[Guest guest]

Because of the snow yesterday, my husband asked my mother to watch our girls for

a little bit while he went to the dentist.

I try to avoid her watching them alone as much as possible. As much as I can

see, she does enjoy their company and making them lunch, etc. My younger

daughter is too young to realize my mother's ways, so she enjoys my mother's

company, too. My older daughter, 13, really doesn't like the experience at all.

Anyhoo, they're all watching some Disney show and the characters are having a

sleepover. So my mother turns to my 13-year old and says, " Have you ever been

to a sleepover? " My daughter says no (coincidentally she's going to her 1st

sleepover on Friday night -- I don't know if it's fleas or my own apprehension,

but my husband had to talk me into that. It's just not how I was raised, BUT I

realize my daughter, unlike me, is a social beast and thrives on her

friendships, so I'm allowing her to go.).

So my mother goes on regarding the evils of sleepovers: " I never let my kids go

on sleepovers. They're bad. You should never, EVER go on sleepovers. " My

daughter asked why it was bad. " Because! You don't need to sleep at anyone

else's house. You have your own house. Don't ever do it! "

When I spoke to my mother later, she repeated everything to me, practically

begging me not to allow that.

Sigh. Fear, fear, fear. Then I wonder why I have panic attacks and am afraid

of going to new places and being with new people.

My daughter said, " wow, nana's really against sleepovers. " I so wanted to say,

" yeah, and look at the way your uncle and I turned out. " Both of us so afraid,

tentative, phobic, anxious. Everything is to be feared.

Yes! You, too, can live the full, satisfied life of the hermit! Let no one into

your life. Just do whatever makes you feel safe, and you'll be fine!

I just can't let this legacy of fear continue. It's just wrong.

Sigh again.

Fiona

[Guest guest]

Good for you Fiona! That is taking a lot of courage on your part! Maybe it will

make you feel more secure if you know the parents, or at least meet them, before

the event? I would have suggested that *you* be the " host " for her first

sleepover, and let your daughter ask some of her friends to your house. Maybe

that would have taken the fear-factor out of the idea for you. In any case,

thumb's up!

-Annie

>

> Because of the snow yesterday, my husband asked my mother to watch our girls

for a little bit while he went to the dentist.

>

> I try to avoid her watching them alone as much as possible. As much as I can

see, she does enjoy their company and making them lunch, etc. My younger

daughter is too young to realize my mother's ways, so she enjoys my mother's

company, too. My older daughter, 13, really doesn't like the experience at all.

>

> Anyhoo, they're all watching some Disney show and the characters are having a

sleepover. So my mother turns to my 13-year old and says, " Have you ever been

to a sleepover? " My daughter says no (coincidentally she's going to her 1st

sleepover on Friday night -- I don't know if it's fleas or my own apprehension,

but my husband had to talk me into that. It's just not how I was raised, BUT I

realize my daughter, unlike me, is a social beast and thrives on her

friendships, so I'm allowing her to go.).

>

> So my mother goes on regarding the evils of sleepovers: " I never let my kids

go on sleepovers. They're bad. You should never, EVER go on sleepovers. " My

daughter asked why it was bad. " Because! You don't need to sleep at anyone

else's house. You have your own house. Don't ever do it! "

>

> When I spoke to my mother later, she repeated everything to me, practically

begging me not to allow that.

>

> Sigh. Fear, fear, fear. Then I wonder why I have panic attacks and am afraid

of going to new places and being with new people.

>

> My daughter said, " wow, nana's really against sleepovers. " I so wanted to

say, " yeah, and look at the way your uncle and I turned out. " Both of us so

afraid, tentative, phobic, anxious. Everything is to be feared.

>

> Yes! You, too, can live the full, satisfied life of the hermit! Let no one

into your life. Just do whatever makes you feel safe, and you'll be fine!

>

> I just can't let this legacy of fear continue. It's just wrong.

>

> Sigh again.

>

> Fiona

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Annie!

Yeah, I've suggested it to my daughter but we live in a very cramped condo. I

think she's embarrassed but I think she should try to be open to inviting a

friend over.

Yes, I know the parents of most of the girls. I like that it's going to be a big

group of girls and have also told my daughter this is on a case-by-case basis,

to not expect to attend every sleep over she's invited to.

Fiona

>

> Good for you Fiona! That is taking a lot of courage on your part! Maybe it

will make you feel more secure if you know the parents, or at least meet them,

before the event? I would have suggested that *you* be the " host " for her first

sleepover, and let your daughter ask some of her friends to your house. Maybe

that would have taken the fear-factor out of the idea for you. In any case,

thumb's up!

> -Annie

>

>

[Guest guest]

Fionna I feel you girl! it is just wrong the fear!Everyday I have to fight it!

One time i told my nada that i felt like our house was the house of fear growing

up. She blamed it on my dad!lol

>

> Because of the snow yesterday, my husband asked my mother to watch our girls

for a little bit while he went to the dentist.

>

> I try to avoid her watching them alone as much as possible. As much as I can

see, she does enjoy their company and making them lunch, etc. My younger

daughter is too young to realize my mother's ways, so she enjoys my mother's

company, too. My older daughter, 13, really doesn't like the experience at all.

>

> Anyhoo, they're all watching some Disney show and the characters are having a

sleepover. So my mother turns to my 13-year old and says, " Have you ever been

to a sleepover? " My daughter says no (coincidentally she's going to her 1st

sleepover on Friday night -- I don't know if it's fleas or my own apprehension,

but my husband had to talk me into that. It's just not how I was raised, BUT I

realize my daughter, unlike me, is a social beast and thrives on her

friendships, so I'm allowing her to go.).

>

> So my mother goes on regarding the evils of sleepovers: " I never let my kids

go on sleepovers. They're bad. You should never, EVER go on sleepovers. " My

daughter asked why it was bad. " Because! You don't need to sleep at anyone

else's house. You have your own house. Don't ever do it! "

>

> When I spoke to my mother later, she repeated everything to me, practically

begging me not to allow that.

>

> Sigh. Fear, fear, fear. Then I wonder why I have panic attacks and am afraid

of going to new places and being with new people.

>

> My daughter said, " wow, nana's really against sleepovers. " I so wanted to

say, " yeah, and look at the way your uncle and I turned out. " Both of us so

afraid, tentative, phobic, anxious. Everything is to be feared.

>

> Yes! You, too, can live the full, satisfied life of the hermit! Let no one

into your life. Just do whatever makes you feel safe, and you'll be fine!

>

> I just can't let this legacy of fear continue. It's just wrong.

>

> Sigh again.

>

> Fiona

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Fiona, Let your children go.When my 9 y/o son was to attend an out of state

chess tournament I had the same fears and actually smacked myself while

looking in the mirror, and said out loud, " this is something your mother would

do! " He went and had a great time. When I told my nada years later that one of

my sons was on the crew team in college, her reaction was " that's too dangerous,

he'll drown, don't let him! " I just shook my head and laughed to myself. Just

teach your children some safety rules. Good luck, maureen

Subject: Re: Have you been on any sleepovers?? I hope not!

They're BAD

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Saturday, February 5, 2011, 6:01 AM

 

Fionna I feel you girl! it is just wrong the fear!Everyday I have to fight it!

One time i told my nada that i felt like our house was the house of fear growing

up. She blamed it on my dad!lol

>

> Because of the snow yesterday, my husband asked my mother to watch our girls

for a little bit while he went to the dentist.

>

> I try to avoid her watching them alone as much as possible. As much as I can

see, she does enjoy their company and making them lunch, etc. My younger

daughter is too young to realize my mother's ways, so she enjoys my mother's

company, too. My older daughter, 13, really doesn't like the experience at all.

>

> Anyhoo, they're all watching some Disney show and the characters are having a

sleepover. So my mother turns to my 13-year old and says, " Have you ever been to

a sleepover? " My daughter says no (coincidentally she's going to her 1st

sleepover on Friday night -- I don't know if it's fleas or my own apprehension,

but my husband had to talk me into that. It's just not how I was raised, BUT I

realize my daughter, unlike me, is a social beast and thrives on her

friendships, so I'm allowing her to go.).

>

> So my mother goes on regarding the evils of sleepovers: " I never let my kids

go on sleepovers. They're bad. You should never, EVER go on sleepovers. " My

daughter asked why it was bad. " Because! You don't need to sleep at anyone

else's house. You have your own house. Don't ever do it! "

>

> When I spoke to my mother later, she repeated everything to me, practically

begging me not to allow that.

>

> Sigh. Fear, fear, fear. Then I wonder why I have panic attacks and am afraid

of going to new places and being with new people.

>

> My daughter said, " wow, nana's really against sleepovers. " I so wanted to say,

" yeah, and look at the way your uncle and I turned out. " Both of us so afraid,

tentative, phobic, anxious. Everything is to be feared.

>

> Yes! You, too, can live the full, satisfied life of the hermit! Let no one

into your life. Just do whatever makes you feel safe, and you'll be fine!

>

> I just can't let this legacy of fear continue. It's just wrong.

>

> Sigh again.

>

> Fiona

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Maureen!!

Yes, I did let her go, and she had a great time. Watching her tell me about it

gave me pleasure. She clearly loves her friends and being with them.

it'll definitely be a case-by-case basis kind of thing for me, but I'm sure

we'll let her do it again.

Fiona