Guest guest Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 So... more baby momma drama from fiance's likely-BPD ex wife... Need to vent. Hope it's ok. I went to bed after dinner because I wasn't feeling well. I guess around 11:30 pm, Baby momma (BM) either called or texted fiance asking him to come pick up 4 year old son. She said 11 year old daughter still had to do her science project that's due tomorrow (?!!!), she had someone coming over to help her study for her astronomy class (actually, she said " astrophysics " lol), and her mother didn't feel well enough to watch the kids. This problem could have been such a NON-ISSUE for a couple of reasons. First - Fiance's son is 4. He should be on a sleep schedule and be in bed no later than 10pm (9 to 9:30pm preferably). Secondly - Due to the blizzard, 11 year old did not have school Wednesday or Thursday. Why on EARTH was her science project not done by 11:30 at night the night before it is due???!! If BM had been RESPONSIBLE enough to make sure 11 year old had her project done while she was off for two whole days and if she had been RESPONSIBLE enough to get & keep 4 year old on a sleep schedule - NONE OF THIS WOULD BE AN ISSUE!!!! Fiance told her no because 4 year old would be all wound up when he got here and it would take a long time to get him settled down & asleep, which is a problem since everyone here has to work tomorrow. Fiance also explained that if she had called earlier it wouldn't be as big of a deal. But by the time he got 4 year old here, it would be after midnight and no... we've had him enough last minute like that to know he's NOT going to calm down & just go to sleep. We have a hard enough time getting him to sleep after having him all day on the weekends. Apparently she started in with the whole " you're a bad father " thing. BULL! What about YOU, BM? The mother too busy drinking & doing her own thing to actually provide for the kids properly & help them develop into RESPONSIBLE adults! Their daughter is 11 years old for Christ's sake... she is not going to do her homework unless YOU - the parent who has her 5 days a week - gets on her about it! And how many times has she sent them over here with a HUGE project that 11 year old has to have done by Monday? Then we have to spend all weekend doing it. I frankly don't have a problem with helping the kids with homework & stuff, but they ALWAYS have around 2 weeks or more notice that these things are due! Why is it ALWAYS last minute? Also, according to fiance, a week or so ago BM took 4 year old to IHOP at 3:30am for pancakes because he had been up all night & they were both awake. Um... it's no secret to us that his sleep schedule is completely wacked, but COME ON! What a great idea... let's REWARD the kid for being up all night. This is sickening to me. Fiance is upset about it and feels like he let 4 year old down. I told him he has 3 options: 1 - Either answer to every one of BM's demands and keep letting her walk all over him and treat him like shit. 2 - Don't give in to her demands and bounce the responsibility back to her, like our T has been telling him and then deal with the guilt that comes from dealing with a likely borderline personality disordered ex wife. Also then having to deal with the " consequences " that come with putting up boundaries with a borderline. I believe in another post someone refered to it as " extinction burst " . or 3 - Hire a lawyer & do something about it. Yes, we risk losing the kids if BM is found unfit because of their Native American heritage which fiance does not have... they will likely put the kids with an NA foster parent... but my god this woman shouldn't have these kids! And he should fight for them, but even if they're with someone else... It's better than them being with her in a filthy home, with dirty clothes & no money for groceries half the time. Oh this is such a never ending saga from hell. I also told him since BM can't be bothered to keep on her 11 year old regarding homework, that he needs to have a chat with 11 year old this weekend. Yes, she is the CHILD, not the adult... but she needs to start learning to be more responsible since her mother could care less. These kids deserve better. And frankly I'd like nothing more thank to slap BM silly for getting so enraged for having to deal with the consequences of her own irresponsibility. Jeeeezus! Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 4, 2011 Report Share Posted February 4, 2011 This BM sounds like my stepfather's ex-wife. Yes, believe it or not, my stepfather went from being married to an alcoholic to a BPD. Anyways, his BM cannot set rules and limits for their son and lets him do whatever he wants, etc. Then he comes to live with my BPD nada and stepdad, who have extremely stringent rules for him. But he's not an unruly kid at all. When I was visiting, if he was told to do something, he didn't whine or talk back or anything. He did everything he was told almost immediately. BUt that wasn't good enough for nada because she would yell at him to do 5 things and then get mad that he couldn't do all 5 things simultaneously. Just ridiculous. Feel free to vent whenever, Mia. It's good to just get it out. > > So... more baby momma drama from fiance's likely-BPD ex wife... Need > to vent. Hope it's ok. > > I went to bed after dinner because I wasn't feeling well. I guess > around 11:30 pm, Baby momma (BM) either called or texted fiance > asking him to come pick up 4 year old son. > > She said 11 year old daughter still had to do her science project > that's due tomorrow (?!!!), she had someone coming over to help her > study for her astronomy class (actually, she said " astrophysics " lol), > and her mother didn't feel well enough to watch the kids. > > This problem could have been such a NON-ISSUE for a couple of reasons. > > First - Fiance's son is 4. He should be on a sleep schedule and be in > bed no later than 10pm (9 to 9:30pm preferably). > > Secondly - Due to the blizzard, 11 year old did not have school > Wednesday or Thursday. Why on EARTH was her science project not done > by 11:30 at night the night before it is due???!! > > If BM had been RESPONSIBLE enough to make sure 11 year old had her > project done while she was off for two whole days and if she had been > RESPONSIBLE enough to get & keep 4 year old on a sleep schedule - NONE > OF THIS WOULD BE AN ISSUE!!!! > > Fiance told her no because 4 year old would be all wound up when he > got here and it would take a long time to get him settled down & > asleep, which is a problem since everyone here has to work tomorrow. > > Fiance also explained that if she had called earlier it wouldn't be as > big of a deal. But by the time he got 4 year old here, it would be > after midnight and no... we've had him enough last minute like that to > know he's NOT going to calm down & just go to sleep. We have a hard > enough time getting him to sleep after having him all day on the > weekends. > > Apparently she started in with the whole " you're a bad father " thing. > BULL! What about YOU, BM? The mother too busy drinking & doing her > own thing to actually provide for the kids properly & help them > develop into RESPONSIBLE adults! Their daughter is 11 years old for > Christ's sake... she is not going to do her homework unless YOU - the > parent who has her 5 days a week - gets on her about it! And how many > times has she sent them over here with a HUGE project that 11 year old > has to have done by Monday? Then we have to spend all weekend doing > it. I frankly don't have a problem with helping the kids with > homework & stuff, but they ALWAYS have around 2 weeks or more notice > that these things are due! Why is it ALWAYS last minute? > > Also, according to fiance, a week or so ago BM took 4 year old to IHOP > at 3:30am for pancakes because he had been up all night & they were > both awake. Um... it's no secret to us that his sleep schedule is > completely wacked, but COME ON! What a great idea... let's REWARD the > kid for being up all night. > > This is sickening to me. Fiance is upset about it and feels like he > let 4 year old down. I told him he has 3 options: > > 1 - Either answer to every one of BM's demands and keep letting her > walk all over him and treat him like shit. > > 2 - Don't give in to her demands and bounce the responsibility back to > her, like our T has been telling him and then deal with the guilt that > comes from dealing with a likely borderline personality disordered ex > wife. Also then having to deal with the " consequences " that come with > putting up boundaries with a borderline. I believe in another post > someone refered to it as " extinction burst " . > > or > > 3 - Hire a lawyer & do something about it. Yes, we risk losing the > kids if BM is found unfit because of their Native American heritage > which fiance does not have... they will likely put the kids with an NA > foster parent... but my god this woman shouldn't have these kids! And > he should fight for them, but even if they're with someone else... > It's better than them being with her in a filthy home, with dirty > clothes & no money for groceries half the time. Oh this is such a > never ending saga from hell. > > I also told him since BM can't be bothered to keep on her 11 year old > regarding homework, that he needs to have a chat with 11 year old this > weekend. Yes, she is the CHILD, not the adult... but she needs to > start learning to be more responsible since her mother could care > less. > > These kids deserve better. And frankly I'd like nothing more thank to > slap BM silly for getting so enraged for having to deal with the > consequences of her own irresponsibility. Jeeeezus! > > Mia > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 BM hahaha > > > This BM sounds like my stepfather's ex-wife. Yes, believe it or not, my > stepfather went from being married to an alcoholic to a BPD. Anyways, his BM > cannot set rules and limits for their son and lets him do whatever he wants, > etc. Then he comes to live with my BPD nada and stepdad, who have extremely > stringent rules for him. But he's not an unruly kid at all. When I was > visiting, if he was told to do something, he didn't whine or talk back or > anything. He did everything he was told almost immediately. BUt that wasn't > good enough for nada because she would yell at him to do 5 things and then > get mad that he couldn't do all 5 things simultaneously. > > Just ridiculous. > > Feel free to vent whenever, Mia. It's good to just get it out. > > > > > > > > > So... more baby momma drama from fiance's likely-BPD ex wife... Need > > to vent. Hope it's ok. > > > > I went to bed after dinner because I wasn't feeling well. I guess > > around 11:30 pm, Baby momma (BM) either called or texted fiance > > asking him to come pick up 4 year old son. > > > > She said 11 year old daughter still had to do her science project > > that's due tomorrow (?!!!), she had someone coming over to help her > > study for her astronomy class (actually, she said " astrophysics " lol), > > and her mother didn't feel well enough to watch the kids. > > > > This problem could have been such a NON-ISSUE for a couple of reasons. > > > > First - Fiance's son is 4. He should be on a sleep schedule and be in > > bed no later than 10pm (9 to 9:30pm preferably). > > > > Secondly - Due to the blizzard, 11 year old did not have school > > Wednesday or Thursday. Why on EARTH was her science project not done > > by 11:30 at night the night before it is due???!! > > > > If BM had been RESPONSIBLE enough to make sure 11 year old had her > > project done while she was off for two whole days and if she had been > > RESPONSIBLE enough to get & keep 4 year old on a sleep schedule - NONE > > OF THIS WOULD BE AN ISSUE!!!! > > > > Fiance told her no because 4 year old would be all wound up when he > > got here and it would take a long time to get him settled down & > > asleep, which is a problem since everyone here has to work tomorrow. > > > > Fiance also explained that if she had called earlier it wouldn't be as > > big of a deal. But by the time he got 4 year old here, it would be > > after midnight and no... we've had him enough last minute like that to > > know he's NOT going to calm down & just go to sleep. We have a hard > > enough time getting him to sleep after having him all day on the > > weekends. > > > > Apparently she started in with the whole " you're a bad father " thing. > > BULL! What about YOU, BM? The mother too busy drinking & doing her > > own thing to actually provide for the kids properly & help them > > develop into RESPONSIBLE adults! Their daughter is 11 years old for > > Christ's sake... she is not going to do her homework unless YOU - the > > parent who has her 5 days a week - gets on her about it! And how many > > times has she sent them over here with a HUGE project that 11 year old > > has to have done by Monday? Then we have to spend all weekend doing > > it. I frankly don't have a problem with helping the kids with > > homework & stuff, but they ALWAYS have around 2 weeks or more notice > > that these things are due! Why is it ALWAYS last minute? > > > > Also, according to fiance, a week or so ago BM took 4 year old to IHOP > > at 3:30am for pancakes because he had been up all night & they were > > both awake. Um... it's no secret to us that his sleep schedule is > > completely wacked, but COME ON! What a great idea... let's REWARD the > > kid for being up all night. > > > > This is sickening to me. Fiance is upset about it and feels like he > > let 4 year old down. I told him he has 3 options: > > > > 1 - Either answer to every one of BM's demands and keep letting her > > walk all over him and treat him like shit. > > > > 2 - Don't give in to her demands and bounce the responsibility back to > > her, like our T has been telling him and then deal with the guilt that > > comes from dealing with a likely borderline personality disordered ex > > wife. Also then having to deal with the " consequences " that come with > > putting up boundaries with a borderline. I believe in another post > > someone refered to it as " extinction burst " . > > > > or > > > > 3 - Hire a lawyer & do something about it. Yes, we risk losing the > > kids if BM is found unfit because of their Native American heritage > > which fiance does not have... they will likely put the kids with an NA > > foster parent... but my god this woman shouldn't have these kids! And > > he should fight for them, but even if they're with someone else... > > It's better than them being with her in a filthy home, with dirty > > clothes & no money for groceries half the time. Oh this is such a > > never ending saga from hell. > > > > I also told him since BM can't be bothered to keep on her 11 year old > > regarding homework, that he needs to have a chat with 11 year old this > > weekend. Yes, she is the CHILD, not the adult... but she needs to > > start learning to be more responsible since her mother could care > > less. > > > > These kids deserve better. And frankly I'd like nothing more thank to > > slap BM silly for getting so enraged for having to deal with the > > consequences of her own irresponsibility. Jeeeezus! > > > > Mia > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 5, 2011 Report Share Posted February 5, 2011 - too many of these crazy people out there. Ugh. Sounds like my nada... the list of impossible things to finish... a total lose-lose situation. Girlscout - Yep! Multi-purposed abbreviating ;-) hehe. Mia On Sat, Feb 5, 2011 at 5:31 PM, Girlscout Cowboy wrote: > BM > > hahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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