visit to nada

[Guest guest]

hi everybody, we (my husband and I) visited nada yesterday to arrange the Power

of Attorney with her bank. After all that, we didn't have the right documents,

grrr! Anyway, we kept the visit as short as poss (despite taking her for a

cappuccino at her request, she still wanted to go for a meal which we managed to

get out of). However, i still felt got at by her. I was scratching an itch at

the top of my arm and she enquired in an angry and critical tone " what's the

matter, what are you touching yourself for? " Then when we got back to her place

and i asked my husband to get something from the car she pulled a face at him

and laughed - something she always does and has always done to me - laughing at

me as if i'm not there. Its always hard work seeing her even though i only have

limited contact with her now.

[Guest guest]

(((((Jeanie)))))

I understand. Yes, it is hard to be around behavior that is intended to hurt

your feelings, insult and demean you, goad/provoke you, etc., when all you're

trying to do is help nada. There's not much that can be done except to

emotionally detach as much as you can (like raising up Wonder Woman's invisible

shield, so that no hurtful thing that nada says gets past the shield.)

Its particularly hard to NOT take the attacks personally when the nasty behavior

is only directed at you/your husband, while nada behaves angelically for others.

My nada has always been like this.

To the rest of the world my nada appears to be this darling little fluffy

silver-haired old lady, but to Sister and me, (and our dad when he was alive)

the real nada is unleashed. She feels justified in and entitled to verbally

attack us, criticize us, hurt our feelings, accuse us of saying, doing, or even

thinking things that we never said, did, or thought. Nada makes personal

attacks, so it is damned hard to not take it personally!

My anti-personal-attack shield is weak and thin, so, my emotional detachment is

in the form of No Contact. My Sister's shield is stronger, she is able to

maintain some contact, but had to pull way, way back on the amount of contact

because of the intermittent verbal abuse.

I think it will help to never be alone with nada, if you can manage it.

So, I totally get it. Forced contact with someone who actually wants to hurt you

IS draining and depressing.

-Annie

>

> hi everybody, we (my husband and I) visited nada yesterday to arrange the

Power of Attorney with her bank. After all that, we didn't have the right

documents, grrr! Anyway, we kept the visit as short as poss (despite taking her

for a cappuccino at her request, she still wanted to go for a meal which we

managed to get out of). However, i still felt got at by her. I was scratching

an itch at the top of my arm and she enquired in an angry and critical tone

" what's the matter, what are you touching yourself for? " Then when we got back

to her place and i asked my husband to get something from the car she pulled a

face at him and laughed - something she always does and has always done to me -

laughing at me as if i'm not there. Its always hard work seeing her even though

i only have limited contact with her now.

>

[Guest guest]

thanks anuria xxx

> >

> > hi everybody, we (my husband and I) visited nada yesterday to arrange the

Power of Attorney with her bank. After all that, we didn't have the right

documents, grrr! Anyway, we kept the visit as short as poss (despite taking her

for a cappuccino at her request, she still wanted to go for a meal which we

managed to get out of). However, i still felt got at by her. I was scratching

an itch at the top of my arm and she enquired in an angry and critical tone

" what's the matter, what are you touching yourself for? " Then when we got back

to her place and i asked my husband to get something from the car she pulled a

face at him and laughed - something she always does and has always done to me -

laughing at me as if i'm not there. Its always hard work seeing her even though

i only have limited contact with her now.

> >

>