More drama (baby momma drama)

[Guest guest]

Last Thursday, BM ( " baby momma " - fiance's likely BPD ex wife) called him at

11:30pm to pick up his 4 year old. I posted here about that. Apparently BM

didn't have her own homework done, and 11 year old step daughter was still

working on a science project that was partially due last Friday.

Well, this past Thursday fiance sends me a text while he's at work. He works

afternoons so doesn't get off until 11pm. He says he's picking up the 4 year

old step son. I'm like " Ok, they are always welcome here, but what's going

on? " He said he didn't know yet but would find out when he got to BM's

house.

It would have been around 11:15 when he got there. 11 year old was STILL

working on science project stuff.... some of it was due on Tues & Wed and

the final stuff was due yesterday. Fiance tried to explain to BM that if

she got 4 year old to bed at a reasonable hour that it would be easier for

her to study at night. She bounced the responsibility onto 4 year old.

" Well, he won't go to sleep " . Fiance again tried to bounce the

responsibility back to her, " He's 4. And you let him free-range nap all day

long, of course he won't sleep. If you get him up when 11 year old is

leaving for school & only let him nap for an hour, he should sleep at

night. " Again, she bounces it to the 4 year old. " I can't keep him from

sleeping, what am I supposed to do? " Answer: wake him up! PLay with him!

Read to him! TEACH him his alphabet & numbers, etc.

So fiance & kiddo get her Thurs. night. Kiddo was both cheerful & grumpy.

He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up wide awake (go figure. He's

used to being awake at night). He kept telling his dad & me, " I'm a bad

boy " . Omg my heart was breaking so bad. Fiance & I tried to explain to him

that he's NOT a bad boy, but sometimes he is naughty, but that all people

have naughty moments, etc.

I guess he had gotten in trouble earlier in the day while BM & her mom were

asleep... he put caramel sauce and pickle juice all over their new pet

rabbit. If an adult were awake, hello! How is this crap happening there?

Oh wait, they sleep all damn day.

BM says she's too stressed because she's taking 15 credit hours at school.

Aww, poor BM. BM doesn't work so I don't see why 15 credit hours should be

a problem. Plus, BM is the one who chose her class schedule, not us.

4 year old went back to BM's on Friday before fiance went to work. Then,

this weekend fiance picks the kids up yesterday as usual. Here's the

kicker: 11 year old's project that we worked on all last weekend with

her... that was due friday... NOT DONE!

Someone had emailed me off list with some ideas to help 11 year old get on

track with school work and I talked to fiance about it. We are going to be

using some of those suggestions. And finace is FINALLY going to call the

school tomorrow to talk to 11 year old's teacher.

We sat down with 11 year old yesterday and chatted a bit, trying to let her

know that she can always call us if she needs help or needs to be somewhere

for school. I guess part of the presentation was due either Tues or Wed but

it was after school so a parent had to take them. No one took her! She

said her grandma didn't feel good. Where was her " mother " ? So we tried to

explain to her it was ok to ask us for help, and that we would do whatever

we could to help her. Poor thing burst into tears. I asked her if she was

stressed out because her project wasn't done on time. She said yes. I

that we just want her to continue to love school and want to try & make it

less stressful. She's such a bright & talented kid and middle school starts

next year... it's just going to get harder. So we will be taking more steps

to ensure we are " in the loop " so we can help.

Anyway, just needed to vent. Pretty heartbreaking end to the week with 4

year old's " I'm a bad boy " and 11 year old getting so upset about school.

Mia

[Guest guest]

Poor kids - glad they have you!

>

>

> Last Thursday, BM ( " baby momma " - fiance's likely BPD ex wife) called him

> at

> 11:30pm to pick up his 4 year old. I posted here about that. Apparently BM

> didn't have her own homework done, and 11 year old step daughter was still

> working on a science project that was partially due last Friday.

>

> Well, this past Thursday fiance sends me a text while he's at work. He

> works

> afternoons so doesn't get off until 11pm. He says he's picking up the 4

> year

> old step son. I'm like " Ok, they are always welcome here, but what's going

> on? " He said he didn't know yet but would find out when he got to BM's

> house.

>

> It would have been around 11:15 when he got there. 11 year old was STILL

> working on science project stuff.... some of it was due on Tues & Wed and

> the final stuff was due yesterday. Fiance tried to explain to BM that if

> she got 4 year old to bed at a reasonable hour that it would be easier for

> her to study at night. She bounced the responsibility onto 4 year old.

> " Well, he won't go to sleep " . Fiance again tried to bounce the

> responsibility back to her, " He's 4. And you let him free-range nap all day

> long, of course he won't sleep. If you get him up when 11 year old is

> leaving for school & only let him nap for an hour, he should sleep at

> night. " Again, she bounces it to the 4 year old. " I can't keep him from

> sleeping, what am I supposed to do? " Answer: wake him up! PLay with him!

> Read to him! TEACH him his alphabet & numbers, etc.

>

> So fiance & kiddo get her Thurs. night. Kiddo was both cheerful & grumpy.

> He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up wide awake (go figure. He's

> used to being awake at night). He kept telling his dad & me, " I'm a bad

> boy " . Omg my heart was breaking so bad. Fiance & I tried to explain to him

> that he's NOT a bad boy, but sometimes he is naughty, but that all people

> have naughty moments, etc.

>

> I guess he had gotten in trouble earlier in the day while BM & her mom were

> asleep... he put caramel sauce and pickle juice all over their new pet

> rabbit. If an adult were awake, hello! How is this crap happening there?

> Oh wait, they sleep all damn day.

>

> BM says she's too stressed because she's taking 15 credit hours at school.

> Aww, poor BM. BM doesn't work so I don't see why 15 credit hours should be

> a problem. Plus, BM is the one who chose her class schedule, not us.

>

> 4 year old went back to BM's on Friday before fiance went to work. Then,

> this weekend fiance picks the kids up yesterday as usual. Here's the

> kicker: 11 year old's project that we worked on all last weekend with

> her... that was due friday... NOT DONE!

>

> Someone had emailed me off list with some ideas to help 11 year old get on

> track with school work and I talked to fiance about it. We are going to be

> using some of those suggestions. And finace is FINALLY going to call the

> school tomorrow to talk to 11 year old's teacher.

>

> We sat down with 11 year old yesterday and chatted a bit, trying to let her

> know that she can always call us if she needs help or needs to be somewhere

> for school. I guess part of the presentation was due either Tues or Wed but

> it was after school so a parent had to take them. No one took her! She

> said her grandma didn't feel good. Where was her " mother " ? So we tried to

> explain to her it was ok to ask us for help, and that we would do whatever

> we could to help her. Poor thing burst into tears. I asked her if she was

> stressed out because her project wasn't done on time. She said yes. I

> that we just want her to continue to love school and want to try & make it

> less stressful. She's such a bright & talented kid and middle school starts

> next year... it's just going to get harder. So we will be taking more steps

> to ensure we are " in the loop " so we can help.

>

> Anyway, just needed to vent. Pretty heartbreaking end to the week with 4

> year old's " I'm a bad boy " and 11 year old getting so upset about school.

>

> Mia

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow---makes me want to punch BM. I'm so glad that the kids have you and

their dad to take good care of them, and to explain that no, they're not

bad, and to encourage them to do well in school. I'm so glad you guys let

your 11 y o know that you're always there and willing to help her with her

schoolwork. I can't imagine the suffering they'd be having if you two

weren't around.

Holly

>

>

> Last Thursday, BM ( " baby momma " - fiance's likely BPD ex wife) called him

> at

> 11:30pm to pick up his 4 year old. I posted here about that. Apparently BM

> didn't have her own homework done, and 11 year old step daughter was still

> working on a science project that was partially due last Friday.

>

> Well, this past Thursday fiance sends me a text while he's at work. He

> works

> afternoons so doesn't get off until 11pm. He says he's picking up the 4

> year

> old step son. I'm like " Ok, they are always welcome here, but what's going

> on? " He said he didn't know yet but would find out when he got to BM's

> house.

>

> It would have been around 11:15 when he got there. 11 year old was STILL

> working on science project stuff.... some of it was due on Tues & Wed and

> the final stuff was due yesterday. Fiance tried to explain to BM that if

> she got 4 year old to bed at a reasonable hour that it would be easier for

> her to study at night. She bounced the responsibility onto 4 year old.

> " Well, he won't go to sleep " . Fiance again tried to bounce the

> responsibility back to her, " He's 4. And you let him free-range nap all day

> long, of course he won't sleep. If you get him up when 11 year old is

> leaving for school & only let him nap for an hour, he should sleep at

> night. " Again, she bounces it to the 4 year old. " I can't keep him from

> sleeping, what am I supposed to do? " Answer: wake him up! PLay with him!

> Read to him! TEACH him his alphabet & numbers, etc.

>

> So fiance & kiddo get her Thurs. night. Kiddo was both cheerful & grumpy.

> He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up wide awake (go figure. He's

> used to being awake at night). He kept telling his dad & me, " I'm a bad

> boy " . Omg my heart was breaking so bad. Fiance & I tried to explain to him

> that he's NOT a bad boy, but sometimes he is naughty, but that all people

> have naughty moments, etc.

>

> I guess he had gotten in trouble earlier in the day while BM & her mom were

> asleep... he put caramel sauce and pickle juice all over their new pet

> rabbit. If an adult were awake, hello! How is this crap happening there?

> Oh wait, they sleep all damn day.

>

> BM says she's too stressed because she's taking 15 credit hours at school.

> Aww, poor BM. BM doesn't work so I don't see why 15 credit hours should be

> a problem. Plus, BM is the one who chose her class schedule, not us.

>

> 4 year old went back to BM's on Friday before fiance went to work. Then,

> this weekend fiance picks the kids up yesterday as usual. Here's the

> kicker: 11 year old's project that we worked on all last weekend with

> her... that was due friday... NOT DONE!

>

> Someone had emailed me off list with some ideas to help 11 year old get on

> track with school work and I talked to fiance about it. We are going to be

> using some of those suggestions. And finace is FINALLY going to call the

> school tomorrow to talk to 11 year old's teacher.

>

> We sat down with 11 year old yesterday and chatted a bit, trying to let her

> know that she can always call us if she needs help or needs to be somewhere

> for school. I guess part of the presentation was due either Tues or Wed but

> it was after school so a parent had to take them. No one took her! She

> said her grandma didn't feel good. Where was her " mother " ? So we tried to

> explain to her it was ok to ask us for help, and that we would do whatever

> we could to help her. Poor thing burst into tears. I asked her if she was

> stressed out because her project wasn't done on time. She said yes. I

> that we just want her to continue to love school and want to try & make it

> less stressful. She's such a bright & talented kid and middle school starts

> next year... it's just going to get harder. So we will be taking more steps

> to ensure we are " in the loop " so we can help.

>

> Anyway, just needed to vent. Pretty heartbreaking end to the week with 4

> year old's " I'm a bad boy " and 11 year old getting so upset about school.

>

> Mia

>

>

[Guest guest]

That's so sad. I'm pretty sure that leaving a 4-year-old with little to no

adult supervision during the day (because the mother is at work, or at school,

or is sleeping during the day, etc.) is considered a form of child neglect and

abuse. (Are you guys documenting all this stuff so it will make a better case

for you to get custody?)

BM's behavior sounds exactly like an example I use sometimes: its like giving a

newly-weaned puppy to a 3-year-old child to care for. The puppy doesn't have a

chance. This woman sounds not only completely inept as a parent, the worst of

it is that *she doesn't care.* She treats her children like objects that have

no needs and no feelings. It sounds to me like she even resents having had the

children in the first place.

Give her a couple of dolls instead, that she can play with and then ignore, and

do no damage to.

Without you, these kids wouldn't have a chance. They're very lucky to have you

in their lives.

-Annie

>

> >

> >

> > Last Thursday, BM ( " baby momma " - fiance's likely BPD ex wife) called him

> > at

> > 11:30pm to pick up his 4 year old. I posted here about that. Apparently BM

> > didn't have her own homework done, and 11 year old step daughter was still

> > working on a science project that was partially due last Friday.

> >

> > Well, this past Thursday fiance sends me a text while he's at work. He

> > works

> > afternoons so doesn't get off until 11pm. He says he's picking up the 4

> > year

> > old step son. I'm like " Ok, they are always welcome here, but what's going

> > on? " He said he didn't know yet but would find out when he got to BM's

> > house.

> >

> > It would have been around 11:15 when he got there. 11 year old was STILL

> > working on science project stuff.... some of it was due on Tues & Wed and

> > the final stuff was due yesterday. Fiance tried to explain to BM that if

> > she got 4 year old to bed at a reasonable hour that it would be easier for

> > her to study at night. She bounced the responsibility onto 4 year old.

> > " Well, he won't go to sleep " . Fiance again tried to bounce the

> > responsibility back to her, " He's 4. And you let him free-range nap all day

> > long, of course he won't sleep. If you get him up when 11 year old is

> > leaving for school & only let him nap for an hour, he should sleep at

> > night. " Again, she bounces it to the 4 year old. " I can't keep him from

> > sleeping, what am I supposed to do? " Answer: wake him up! PLay with him!

> > Read to him! TEACH him his alphabet & numbers, etc.

> >

> > So fiance & kiddo get her Thurs. night. Kiddo was both cheerful & grumpy.

> > He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up wide awake (go figure. He's

> > used to being awake at night). He kept telling his dad & me, " I'm a bad

> > boy " . Omg my heart was breaking so bad. Fiance & I tried to explain to him

> > that he's NOT a bad boy, but sometimes he is naughty, but that all people

> > have naughty moments, etc.

> >

> > I guess he had gotten in trouble earlier in the day while BM & her mom were

> > asleep... he put caramel sauce and pickle juice all over their new pet

> > rabbit. If an adult were awake, hello! How is this crap happening there?

> > Oh wait, they sleep all damn day.

> >

> > BM says she's too stressed because she's taking 15 credit hours at school.

> > Aww, poor BM. BM doesn't work so I don't see why 15 credit hours should be

> > a problem. Plus, BM is the one who chose her class schedule, not us.

> >

> > 4 year old went back to BM's on Friday before fiance went to work. Then,

> > this weekend fiance picks the kids up yesterday as usual. Here's the

> > kicker: 11 year old's project that we worked on all last weekend with

> > her... that was due friday... NOT DONE!

> >

> > Someone had emailed me off list with some ideas to help 11 year old get on

> > track with school work and I talked to fiance about it. We are going to be

> > using some of those suggestions. And finace is FINALLY going to call the

> > school tomorrow to talk to 11 year old's teacher.

> >

> > We sat down with 11 year old yesterday and chatted a bit, trying to let her

> > know that she can always call us if she needs help or needs to be somewhere

> > for school. I guess part of the presentation was due either Tues or Wed but

> > it was after school so a parent had to take them. No one took her! She

> > said her grandma didn't feel good. Where was her " mother " ? So we tried to

> > explain to her it was ok to ask us for help, and that we would do whatever

> > we could to help her. Poor thing burst into tears. I asked her if she was

> > stressed out because her project wasn't done on time. She said yes. I

> > that we just want her to continue to love school and want to try & make it

> > less stressful. She's such a bright & talented kid and middle school starts

> > next year... it's just going to get harder. So we will be taking more steps

> > to ensure we are " in the loop " so we can help.

> >

> > Anyway, just needed to vent. Pretty heartbreaking end to the week with 4

> > year old's " I'm a bad boy " and 11 year old getting so upset about school.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Thanks ladies. Yes, we are documenting everything. Even taking photos of

the angry text messages that way the lawyer can decide if he can or wants to

subpoena them. I don't think they usually do subpoena text messages unless

it's a huge case like murders & horrible things like that. (Not that this

isn't horrible enough).

We are working towards making things right, but it takes time due to the

expense of the lawyer.

Mia

On Sun, Feb 13, 2011 at 10:39 AM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> That's so sad. I'm pretty sure that leaving a 4-year-old with little to no

> adult supervision during the day (because the mother is at work, or at

> school, or is sleeping during the day, etc.) is considered a form of child

> neglect and abuse. (Are you guys documenting all this stuff so it will make

> a better case for you to get custody?)

>

> BM's behavior sounds exactly like an example I use sometimes: its like

> giving a newly-weaned puppy to a 3-year-old child to care for. The puppy

> doesn't have a chance. This woman sounds not only completely inept as a

> parent, the worst of it is that *she doesn't care.* She treats her children

> like objects that have no needs and no feelings. It sounds to me like she

> even resents having had the children in the first place.

>

> Give her a couple of dolls instead, that she can play with and then ignore,

> and do no damage to.

>

> Without you, these kids wouldn't have a chance. They're very lucky to have

> you in their lives.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Last Thursday, BM ( " baby momma " - fiance's likely BPD ex wife) called

> him

> > > at

> > > 11:30pm to pick up his 4 year old. I posted here about that. Apparently

> BM

> > > didn't have her own homework done, and 11 year old step daughter was

> still

> > > working on a science project that was partially due last Friday.

> > >

> > > Well, this past Thursday fiance sends me a text while he's at work. He

> > > works

> > > afternoons so doesn't get off until 11pm. He says he's picking up the 4

> > > year

> > > old step son. I'm like " Ok, they are always welcome here, but what's

> going

> > > on? " He said he didn't know yet but would find out when he got to BM's

> > > house.

> > >

> > > It would have been around 11:15 when he got there. 11 year old was

> STILL

> > > working on science project stuff.... some of it was due on Tues & Wed

> and

> > > the final stuff was due yesterday. Fiance tried to explain to BM that

> if

> > > she got 4 year old to bed at a reasonable hour that it would be easier

> for

> > > her to study at night. She bounced the responsibility onto 4 year old.

> > > " Well, he won't go to sleep " . Fiance again tried to bounce the

> > > responsibility back to her, " He's 4. And you let him free-range nap all

> day

> > > long, of course he won't sleep. If you get him up when 11 year old is

> > > leaving for school & only let him nap for an hour, he should sleep at

> > > night. " Again, she bounces it to the 4 year old. " I can't keep him from

> > > sleeping, what am I supposed to do? " Answer: wake him up! PLay with

> him!

> > > Read to him! TEACH him his alphabet & numbers, etc.

> > >

> > > So fiance & kiddo get her Thurs. night. Kiddo was both cheerful &

> grumpy.

> > > He slept for about 2 hours and then woke up wide awake (go figure. He's

> > > used to being awake at night). He kept telling his dad & me, " I'm a bad

> > > boy " . Omg my heart was breaking so bad. Fiance & I tried to explain to

> him

> > > that he's NOT a bad boy, but sometimes he is naughty, but that all

> people

> > > have naughty moments, etc.

> > >

> > > I guess he had gotten in trouble earlier in the day while BM & her mom

> were

> > > asleep... he put caramel sauce and pickle juice all over their new pet

> > > rabbit. If an adult were awake, hello! How is this crap happening

> there?

> > > Oh wait, they sleep all damn day.

> > >

> > > BM says she's too stressed because she's taking 15 credit hours at

> school.

> > > Aww, poor BM. BM doesn't work so I don't see why 15 credit hours should

> be

> > > a problem. Plus, BM is the one who chose her class schedule, not us.

> > >

> > > 4 year old went back to BM's on Friday before fiance went to work.

> Then,

> > > this weekend fiance picks the kids up yesterday as usual. Here's the

> > > kicker: 11 year old's project that we worked on all last weekend with

> > > her... that was due friday... NOT DONE!

> > >

> > > Someone had emailed me off list with some ideas to help 11 year old get

> on

> > > track with school work and I talked to fiance about it. We are going to

> be

> > > using some of those suggestions. And finace is FINALLY going to call

> the

> > > school tomorrow to talk to 11 year old's teacher.

> > >

> > > We sat down with 11 year old yesterday and chatted a bit, trying to let

> her

> > > know that she can always call us if she needs help or needs to be

> somewhere

> > > for school. I guess part of the presentation was due either Tues or Wed

> but

> > > it was after school so a parent had to take them. No one took her! She

> > > said her grandma didn't feel good. Where was her " mother " ? So we tried

> to

> > > explain to her it was ok to ask us for help, and that we would do

> whatever

> > > we could to help her. Poor thing burst into tears. I asked her if she

> was

> > > stressed out because her project wasn't done on time. She said yes. I

> > > that we just want her to continue to love school and want to try & make

> it

> > > less stressful. She's such a bright & talented kid and middle school

> starts

> > > next year... it's just going to get harder. So we will be taking more

> steps

> > > to ensure we are " in the loop " so we can help.

> > >

> > > Anyway, just needed to vent. Pretty heartbreaking end to the week with

> 4

> > > year old's " I'm a bad boy " and 11 year old getting so upset about

> school.

> > >

> > > Mia

> > >

> > >