Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 No, mine was hyper when I was growing up. If I was sitting and reading, or coloring or playing with a puzzle or something I " wasn't doing anything. " She'd give me a chore or she'd boot me outside whether I wanted to go or not; I apparently wasn't supposed to just read or entertain myself quietly. It made me think that my mere presence irritated her and she didn't want me around her, so as I became an older child I did end up spending most of my free time outside or at friends' houses. -Annie > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 I'm not sure that lazy is exactly how I'd describe my nada. It is more that she does her best to avoid doing those things that she doesn't want to do. If she wants to do something, she's not lazy about doing it. She doesn't like cleaning but thinks that having a clean house is very important. When my brother and I were growing up she made us do as much of the housework as she could get away with. Our father didn't let her get away with the kind of things she later did to my half-sister, plus he did some things around the house himself. When she and her second husband got divorced she pretty much stopped doing housework as soon as my sister was old enough to do it. Instead of doing any chores herself she'd come home from working at night and spend the day playing computer games like Minesweeper. By the time she was 12 or 13 my sister had one chore - " clean everything " . Now that she's alone again she does more housework because she has a big thing about appearances and not letting outsiders see a mess but she still spends many hours playing Facebook games. As far as I can tell, she was never lazy at work. At 09:59 AM 02/13/2011 Girlscout Cowboy wrote: >I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > >My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 Fada is lazy now! He does absolutely nothing for himself and personal hygiene has always been an issue. When he was healthy and lived alone he bathed but only once a week. Now he would never bathe unless we made him and we have to hire a CNA to help him. He won't even get himself a glass of water. He always had a job and he kept his house fairly clean and he did his laundry but he never had any hobbies and after he did those basic things he just sat around all day. I read in SWOE that BP's are often bored and rarely have hobbies, but I can't remember the reason they cited as to why they are like that. I think depression can make them bored and make them want to sleep a lot. Fada is a waif so I always remember him just hating his job, and hating responsibility and whining that he wished he just didn't have any problems and wondering why he had so many problems. His sister raised me, his brothers held his hand through his job (they owned a family business together), Now he lives with us and doesn't have to pay a bill, or wash himself or anything else. He will probably outlive me and then I don't know who will take care of him. Oh well. I think laziness can be a characteristic of some clusters. Kay > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2011 Report Share Posted February 13, 2011 not mine--she was always busy. Doing something she wanted to do, of course. During agitation she'd just get hyper, then pound her heels walking the house and make sure everyone knew just how hard she worked. > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 " I think laziness can be a characteristic of some clusters. " I love this quote!!!! " Clusters " will now and forever be my new nickname. And as for pounding around wanting everyone to know how hard she worked ---- YES!!!! But she rarely did much, so even the most minor thing brought this response. > > > not mine--she was always busy. Doing something she wanted to do, of course. > During agitation she'd just get hyper, then pound her heels walking the > house and make sure everyone knew just how hard she worked. > > > > > > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 The sound of heels pounding on the floor rapidly and coming in my direction can make me go into a virtually catatonic freeze. That is a very, very bad sound. -Annie > > > > > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > > > > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 Nope, I wouldn't say mine was lazy. In fact, I'd say she worked hard and like others have said, if she was working hard... EVERYONE better be working hard. God forbid that anyone be allowed to relax if she can't relax. Even if it was 6 or 7 am on a weekend... if she got into a cleaning tirade, she'd bang the vacuum cleaner on my bedroom door to ensure I got up and helped. The sound of stomping feet, like Annie & others have sad is a VERY BAD SOUND! One of my recent homework assignments given by my T was to start identifying triggers. Stomping is so definitely one of them. I feel tense & freeze up, feel my heart rate increase and I'm sure my blood pressure goes up. Also the sound of ANYONE else doing anything around the house... omg, that was SO forbidden! How DARE SHE have to do the dishes while someone else was sitting back & relaxing! So yes, particularly with the dishes, if I hear others doing them I get very anxious, nervous & tense. And I can also tell the difference between someone just doing the dishes, and someone doing the dishes angrily. How crazy is that? Did you know people could do the dishes angrily?! LOL. Well, they sure can. Maybe others can relate to that. I think many of us might be a bit hyperaware. Relaxing was forbidden, unless nada was relaxing. And then if you got up to use the bathroom or something, she'd do the sickening cutsey-wootsey voice and say " will you get me something to drink while you're up, pwease? " or whatever. UGH. No wonder I hid in my bedroom or down the basement most of the time. Mia On Sun, Feb 13, 2011 at 9:59 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 My triggers - the sound of a chips bag crinkling (can NOT STAND IT) Sighing, grunting, or other nonverbal sounds that sound displeased - fight or flight instantly > > > Nope, I wouldn't say mine was lazy. In fact, I'd say she worked hard and > like others have said, if she was working hard... EVERYONE better be > working > hard. God forbid that anyone be allowed to relax if she can't relax. Even > if it was 6 or 7 am on a weekend... if she got into a cleaning tirade, > she'd > bang the vacuum cleaner on my bedroom door to ensure I got up and helped. > > The sound of stomping feet, like Annie & others have sad is a VERY BAD > SOUND! One of my recent homework assignments given by my T was to start > identifying triggers. Stomping is so definitely one of them. I feel tense & > freeze up, feel my heart rate increase and I'm sure my blood pressure goes > up. Also the sound of ANYONE else doing anything around the house... omg, > that was SO forbidden! How DARE SHE have to do the dishes while someone > else was sitting back & relaxing! So yes, particularly with the dishes, if > I hear others doing them I get very anxious, nervous & tense. And I can > also tell the difference between someone just doing the dishes, and someone > doing the dishes angrily. How crazy is that? Did you know people could do > the dishes angrily?! LOL. Well, they sure can. Maybe others can relate to > that. I think many of us might be a bit hyperaware. > > Relaxing was forbidden, unless nada was relaxing. And then if you got up to > use the bathroom or something, she'd do the sickening cutsey-wootsey voice > and say " will you get me something to drink while you're up, pwease? " or > whatever. UGH. > > No wonder I hid in my bedroom or down the basement most of the time. > > Mia > > > On Sun, Feb 13, 2011 at 9:59 AM, Girlscout Cowboy < > girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > > > > > > > I have a question ---- Is laziness a typical BPD trait? > > > > My nada CERTIANLY was. How about you? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I hear you on the sighing & grunting, they also make me uneasy. Red flags go up & I automatically assume something is wrong. Sometimes people just sigh for crying out loud, but like you the sympathetic branch of my autonomic nervous system kicks into fight or flight mode (Pardon my technicalities... trying to get myself into " think like a nurse " mode again lol). The chips bag must have been a huge thing for you, I'm so sorry. Can you enjoy a snack of chips if you put them in a bowl or something? Just curious. I know my nada's favorite animal is koala bears, and now I have a huge aversion to looking at pictures of them, even though I think they are cute. Not quite the same, but kind of similar I guess. But yes, I avoid looking at koala bears at all costs. So strange. Mia On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 12:39 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > My triggers - the sound of a chips bag crinkling (can NOT STAND IT) > Sighing, grunting, or other nonverbal sounds that sound displeased - fight > or flight instantly > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 Ha ha Yeah my nada ate chips and junk all the time and she had this way of wiping the grease off her fingers. . . shivvvvver eeeww God I hate that woman. Yeah when someone sighs it means I have done something wrong or they have a need and it is 100% my responsability to fix it IMMEDIATELY or suffer grave consequences. Not my fav sound. > > > I hear you on the sighing & grunting, they also make me uneasy. Red flags > go up & I automatically assume something is wrong. Sometimes people just > sigh for crying out loud, but like you the sympathetic branch of my > autonomic nervous system kicks into fight or flight mode (Pardon my > technicalities... trying to get myself into " think like a nurse " mode again > lol). > > The chips bag must have been a huge thing for you, I'm so sorry. Can you > enjoy a snack of chips if you put them in a bowl or something? Just > curious. I know my nada's favorite animal is koala bears, and now I have a > huge aversion to looking at pictures of them, even though I think they are > cute. Not quite the same, but kind of similar I guess. But yes, I avoid > looking at koala bears at all costs. So strange. > > Mia > > On Mon, Feb 14, 2011 at 12:39 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < > > girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > > > My triggers - the sound of a chips bag crinkling (can NOT STAND IT) > > Sighing, grunting, or other nonverbal sounds that sound displeased - > fight > > or flight instantly > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 I don't think that mine was lazy so much as suffering from critically low self-esteem and the conviction that she couldn't do anything. So she wouldn't try to do things such as get a driver's license, although people repeatedly offered to teach her. (Then later on she blamed everyone else for " not letting her get a driver's license and wanted to keep her locked up in the house. " ) She hated cleaning, I think, and shifted as much onto me as possible. The other reason she did this was that she never felt loved unless someone was doing something for her. If you loved her you were supposed to show it by setting the table without being asked, helping clean up after the meal without being asked, etc. At least, if you were me. Kid brudda NEVER, EVER had to do any of these things. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 My mom was anything but lazy. She only needed about 3 to 4 hours of sleep each night. She was a divorced single parent and she worked full time teaching nursing at our junior college. I never saw her relaxing actually. She had more energy than I could ever dream of having. She's brilliant and could do so many things. She also had a photographic memory. I remember being called back from outside three times before I got my room cleaned up to her liking. She never showed me how to do it either. Just expected that I would know how. She would turn on the vacuum cleaner early in the morning and of course it woke us up. That used to drive me crazy. Annie > > I don't think that mine was lazy so much as suffering from critically low self-esteem and the conviction that she couldn't do anything. So she wouldn't try to do things such as get a driver's license, although people repeatedly offered to teach her. (Then later on she blamed everyone else for " not letting her get a driver's license and wanted to keep her locked up in the house. " ) > > She hated cleaning, I think, and shifted as much onto me as possible. The other reason she did this was that she never felt loved unless someone was doing something for her. If you loved her you were supposed to show it by setting the table without being asked, helping clean up after the meal without being asked, etc. At least, if you were me. Kid brudda NEVER, EVER had to do any of these things. > > --. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have to do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. Get it off! Get it off! lol. Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. Sue ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM Subject: Re: Re: laziness  CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have to do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. Get it off! Get it off! lol. Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Huh, i wonder if this is a high/low functioning thing. . . my nada would lay in bed until late afternoon or early evening. She would make me drive myself to important appts before I had a license just so she didn't have to get out of bed. On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 1:43 AM, Marla Gaspard wrote: > > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. > Sue > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > > > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have > to > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > Mia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Could be, or could be depression. Its actually not uncommon for a person to have more than one mental illness going on at the same time. From what I've read, if I'm understanding it correctly, its rare for a person to have " pure " bpd, as though just having that isn't tragic enough. -Annie > > > > > > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. > > Sue > > > > ________________________________ > > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > > > > > > > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her > > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. > > > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I > > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a > > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate > > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have > > to > > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & > > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember > > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being > > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot > > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I > > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass > > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... > > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. > > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > > > Mia > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Laziness....the bedroom is a blackout, and she has always had funeral-like heavy drapery and extra window coverings to block the daylight so that she can sleep uninterrupted until after noon. She specializes in identifying other people's sources of income and has made a career of suing people in every job she's had (should I say, that she was fired from.) Finally, at the end of her rope, my step-aunt told her " get a job. " It's become the joke of our family now...my mother. It makes me sad. Her twin sister calls it " the comfy zone... " Are we in some surreal vampire drama here? ~D ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 4:35:46 AM Subject: Re: Re: laziness Huh, i wonder if this is a high/low functioning thing. . . my nada would lay in bed until late afternoon or early evening. She would make me drive myself to important appts before I had a license just so she didn't have to get out of bed. On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 1:43 AM, Marla Gaspard wrote: > > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. > Sue > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > > > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have > to > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > Mia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Yes, the drapes the sleeping. Exactly. I don't think my nada was organized enough to sue anyone. > > > > > Laziness....the bedroom is a blackout, and she has always had funeral-like > heavy > drapery and extra window coverings to block the daylight so that she can > sleep > uninterrupted until after noon. She specializes in identifying other > people's > sources of income and has made a career of suing people in every job she's > had > (should I say, that she was fired from.) Finally, at the end of her rope, > my > step-aunt told her " get a job. " It's become the joke of our family now...my > > mother. It makes me sad. Her twin sister calls it " the comfy zone... " Are > we > in some surreal vampire drama here? ~D > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 4:35:46 AM > > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > Huh, i wonder if this is a high/low functioning thing. . . my nada would > lay > in bed until late afternoon or early evening. She would make me drive > myself > to important appts before I had a license just so she didn't have to get > out > of bed. > > On Tue, Feb 15, 2011 at 1:43 AM, Marla Gaspard <thebeader1968@... > >wrote: > > > > > > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. > > Sue > > > > ________________________________ > > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > > > > > > > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her > > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be > helping. > > > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - > I > > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given > a > > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a > love-hate > > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have > > to > > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & > > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember > > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being > > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot > > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I > > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! > Glass > > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then > silverware... > > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. > > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > > > Mia > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 Marla--me too! I could only help with the most menial of chores, as if doing something more important would steal nada's thunder. I have lots of problems starting projects where I need to do something new. I trace this directly back to nada never letting me do anything of consequence, since she was sure I would mess it up or not do it well enough for her liking. > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. > Sue > > > > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > >  > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have to > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > Mia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 Another thing about mine. She would not allow us in her kitchen. She was an excellent cook, but did NOT teach my sis and I a thing. What we learned, we learned in home ec class in high school. I remember my mom telling me not to learn to cook, that it would just make me fat. Well, fast forward several years and I am doing some care providing. She tells me my cooking stinks. I took great joy in reminding her what she said to me years earlier. And guess what, she actually remembered that she had said that to me! Touche! Also, about her kitchen cabinets. They were so OCD'd. If we happened to get a glass out of the cabinet to get a drink she would know!!!!!! I mean, I could go on and on. Loading the dishwasher was traumatic! Never could get that right. Annie > > > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough job. > > Sue > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > From: Justi3 <zobimia@> > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > > >  > > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help her > > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be helping. > > > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner - I > > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also given a > > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a love-hate > > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she have to > > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table & > > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I remember > > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not being > > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it " hot > > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so I > > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! Glass > > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then silverware... > > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on me. > > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > > > Mia > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 17, 2011 Report Share Posted February 17, 2011 I can't even imagine growing up with a mother who could or would cook at all ever. My nada felt this kind of thing was far far beneath her, so she talked my grandma into teaching me how to make all her favorite foods. I was the family cook by the time I was in elementary school. And guess what - I liked it - and so nada would punish me by refusing to eat the healthy things I prepared after I learned about health (not from her by the way). What a role reversal - a daughter around 12-15 years old trying to convince her mother to eat healthful food including vegetables. that was my childhood and adolesence. And on the topic of cooking making you fat - i would argue the opposite. If you can cook, you can have more control over your health and calorie intake, rather than leaving it up to the super size me menus. But then, I don't imagine your nada actually meant to convey helpful info, it sounds like she was just being a bitch. The loss of the domestic arts in our culture really really pains me. It breaks my heart. We can't make our own meals, crochet, knit, embroider or sew anymore, but I'll be damned if we can't kill aliens with a Wii or joystick like nobodies business. On Thu, Feb 17, 2011 at 5:17 AM, dyslexiaspecialist < dyslexiaspecialist@...> wrote: > > > Another thing about mine. She would not allow us in her kitchen. She was an > excellent cook, but did NOT teach my sis and I a thing. What we learned, we > learned in home ec class in high school. I remember my mom telling me not to > learn to cook, that it would just make me fat. Well, fast forward several > years and I am doing some care providing. She tells me my cooking stinks. I > took great joy in reminding her what she said to me years earlier. And guess > what, she actually remembered that she had said that to me! Touche! Also, > about her kitchen cabinets. They were so OCD'd. If we happened to get a > glass out of the cabinet to get a drink she would know!!!!!! I mean, I could > go on and on. Loading the dishwasher was traumatic! Never could get that > right. > Annie > > > > > > > > > Mine would not let me help. She did not think I did a good enough > job. > > > Sue > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ________________________________ > > > From: Justi3 <zobimia@> > > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > > > Sent: Tue, February 15, 2011 2:18:19 AM > > > Subject: Re: Re: laziness > > > > > >  > > > CA Annie - oh no! Another KO with an early morning vacuuming nada. Mine > > > would ram the darn thing into my bedroom door until I got up to help > her > > > clean. Because, you know, if SHE had to clean, EVERYONE better be > helping. > > > > > > - my nada was the same way with cleaning up before & after dinner > - I > > > was just expected to do it without being asked. I think I was also > given a > > > huge chunk of cleaning because she hated doing it. Maybe it was a > love-hate > > > relationship with her? She wanted things spotless but god forbid she > have to > > > do it. I don't know. The thing is, though, even if I did set the table > & > > > clean up without being asked, it still was never good enough. I > remember > > > her screaming and harping on me about the plastic cups & things not > being > > > clean enough because I didn't use hot enough water. Then she got it > " hot > > > enough " and held my hands down in the VERY very painfully hot water so > I > > > knew how hot the dishwater had to be. Uuuuuuuuughhhhhhh. > > > > > > Crazy thing is, I'm still very meticulous about how I do the dishes! > Glass > > > items washed first, then plastic, then ceramic/china... then > silverware... > > > then pots & pans. Always. Ugh. I think some of her OCD rubbed off on > me. > > > Get it off! Get it off! lol. > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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