Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 Hi, I'm new to the group. I found out close to 3 yrs ago that the behavior my mom exhibited/exhibits is BPD. She has yet to go see mental health due to no insurance. I want her to talk to her parish priest but she won't because she doesn't want people to talk about her. She is also unemployed and has no friends/family. My dad died in 1996 and she never re-married/dated. I'm her only 'lifeline' and I live out of state. My mom I think is getting worse. She is talking gibberish and convienced herself the next door neighbors are listening into her conversations; have broken into the house to plant listening devices, etc... When I was trying to calm her down and say she had nothing to worry about, she went on a rant and told me to shut up over and over. " Don't you know they're listening? " Also, we were arguing and she of course blame me for being unsympathic. She said she is better off dead and call me a f-er and a f-in SOB. Mom also said she had thoughts of killing me and herself and that she is better off dead. She also tried to pull my cheeks and I got away. Seeing her I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say " my mom has mental illness. " Her disease also got me in trouble with my job a few months ago (i.e. abandoment issues). If anyone has/is experiencing what I'm going through, I'd appreciate it. I'm heartbroken---I'm 27 and have no parents. I don't even want her to see my kids when I start having them. When I see the Humana commercials with the children with their grandparents I just cry b/c I know I don't trust her. Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 That is a scary situation Regen345. To me this also sounds like it is more than BPD given the severe paranoia. Perhaps paranoid schizophrenia. I know it is a huge step, but it might be appropriate to have adult protective services called in to evaluate her - the fact that she has thoughts of killing herself and you is enough to call them. Especially since you live in another state it will be important to have social services local to her involved and keeping track of her. Whether our parents are clearly outrageously mentally ill or sneakily subtly mentally ill, either way we got robbed of such an important part of life. Take care and let us know what happens. > > Hi, > > I'm new to the group. > > I found out close to 3 yrs ago that the behavior my mom exhibited/exhibits is BPD. She has yet to go see mental health due to no insurance. I want her to talk to her parish priest but she won't because she doesn't want people to talk about her. > > She is also unemployed and has no friends/family. My dad died in 1996 and she never re-married/dated. I'm her only 'lifeline' and I live out of state. > > My mom I think is getting worse. She is talking gibberish and convienced herself the next door neighbors are listening into her conversations; have broken into the house to plant listening devices, etc... > > When I was trying to calm her down and say she had nothing to worry about, she went on a rant and told me to shut up over and over. " Don't you know they're listening? " > > Also, we were arguing and she of course blame me for being unsympathic. She said she is better off dead and call me a f-er and a f-in SOB. Mom also said she had thoughts of killing me and herself and that she is better off dead. She also tried to pull my cheeks and I got away. > > Seeing her I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say " my mom has mental illness. " Her disease also got me in trouble with my job a few months ago (i.e. abandoment issues). > > If anyone has/is experiencing what I'm going through, I'd appreciate it. > > I'm heartbroken---I'm 27 and have no parents. > > I don't even want her to see my kids when I start having them. When I see the Humana commercials with the children with their grandparents I just cry b/c I know I don't trust her. > > Thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2011 Report Share Posted February 14, 2011 Hi Regen and CA Annie, Welcome to the Group. You've found a bunch of other people here who were raised by personality-disordered parents, so, we " get where you're coming from. " (to use an antiquated phrase popular when I was growing up.) Yes, it is indeed very difficult to admit that your own mother or father is actually rather severely mentally ill. Borderline personality disorder is a serious mental illness. A person with bpd can be dangerous to himself or herself and to other people. The minor children of those with bpd are at particular risk for neglect or emotional, physical and/or sexual abuse from a untreated, undiagnosed, severely bpd parent. Personality disorder doesn't just " go away " or " get better " on its own, like a cold, but there is a chance for improvement with treatment. However, the person with pd must admit that he or she has a personality disorder, be willing to take personal responsibility for their own words and behaviors, be willing to go into treatment and stay in treatment (and stay on the meds if any are prescribed) and be willing to commit to the hard work it takes to get a handle on their harmful, negative acting-out behaviors. If your mother is " acting out " in destructive ways, such as: threatening suicide or actually making suicide attempts, inflicting harm on herself such as cutting herself (or threatening to), threatening harm to others such as waving a knife or a gun around or throwing objects at you or others, having breaks with reality, such as paranoid delusions (believing that her neighbors have planted listening devices in her home is a good example of a paranoid delusion.) ....then these are serious symptoms and should be taken seriously. My suggestion is that you make an appointment to consult with your mother's primary care physician, or, if its impossible for you to find out who her general practitioner is, then make an appointment with your own gp and ask his or her advice on the matter. You can also consult with social services about your concerns RE your mother and her ability to responsibly take care of herself, and determine which next steps should be taken RE assessing her level of competency, etc. Its never easy having a parent with a Cluster B personality disorder; it becomes even more difficult when our personality-disordered parent begins experiencing senile dementia and other age-related health problems. Welcome to the Group. We're here to share our experiences, opinions and emotional support with each other. It really does help to know that you're not the only person who is going through such things. -Annie > > Hi, > > I'm new to the group. > > I found out close to 3 yrs ago that the behavior my mom exhibited/exhibits is BPD. She has yet to go see mental health due to no insurance. I want her to talk to her parish priest but she won't because she doesn't want people to talk about her. > > She is also unemployed and has no friends/family. My dad died in 1996 and she never re-married/dated. I'm her only 'lifeline' and I live out of state. > > My mom I think is getting worse. She is talking gibberish and convienced herself the next door neighbors are listening into her conversations; have broken into the house to plant listening devices, etc... > > When I was trying to calm her down and say she had nothing to worry about, she went on a rant and told me to shut up over and over. " Don't you know they're listening? " > > Also, we were arguing and she of course blame me for being unsympathic. She said she is better off dead and call me a f-er and a f-in SOB. Mom also said she had thoughts of killing me and herself and that she is better off dead. She also tried to pull my cheeks and I got away. > > Seeing her I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say " my mom has mental illness. " Her disease also got me in trouble with my job a few months ago (i.e. abandoment issues). > > If anyone has/is experiencing what I'm going through, I'd appreciate it. > > I'm heartbroken---I'm 27 and have no parents. > > I don't even want her to see my kids when I start having them. When I see the Humana commercials with the children with their grandparents I just cry b/c I know I don't trust her. > > Thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2011 Report Share Posted February 15, 2011 It sounds like your mother is becoming paranoid almost paranoid schizophrenic paranoid. Due to her threats to do bodily harm to you and to herself, you need to call the police and have her hospitalized. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Mon, February 14, 2011 8:56:21 PM Subject: What to do with mom Hi, I'm new to the group. I found out close to 3 yrs ago that the behavior my mom exhibited/exhibits is BPD. She has yet to go see mental health due to no insurance. I want her to talk to her parish priest but she won't because she doesn't want people to talk about her. She is also unemployed and has no friends/family. My dad died in 1996 and she never re-married/dated. I'm her only 'lifeline' and I live out of state. My mom I think is getting worse. She is talking gibberish and convienced herself the next door neighbors are listening into her conversations; have broken into the house to plant listening devices, etc... When I was trying to calm her down and say she had nothing to worry about, she went on a rant and told me to shut up over and over. " Don't you know they're listening? " Also, we were arguing and she of course blame me for being unsympathic. She said she is better off dead and call me a f-er and a f-in SOB. Mom also said she had thoughts of killing me and herself and that she is better off dead. She also tried to pull my cheeks and I got away. Seeing her I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say " my mom has mental illness. " Her disease also got me in trouble with my job a few months ago (i.e. abandoment issues). If anyone has/is experiencing what I'm going through, I'd appreciate it. I'm heartbroken---I'm 27 and have no parents. I don't even want her to see my kids when I start having them. When I see the Humana commercials with the children with their grandparents I just cry b/c I know I don't trust her. Thanks ________________________________________________________________________________\ ____ Looking for earth-friendly autos? Browse Top Cars by " Green Rating " at Yahoo! Autos' Green Center. http://autos.yahoo.com/green_center/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 21, 2011 Report Share Posted February 21, 2011 Hi Regen, Sorry to say I don't have any useful advice just now but I'm in kind of a similar situation/age range so I just wanted to say you that are not alone. I'm not sure if we're supposed to say things like this but I am a person of faith and I will definitely keep you in my prayers. Also, on the having kids thing-I don't have any kids yet but I am recently married and I am very lucky to have an incredibly caring, loving family in law. I don't know if our kids will ever be able to have a relationship with my mom but I will definitely tell them about what she was like when I was young and they will be able to have a relationship with their other grandparents. So, I guess I just wanted to say...don't give up! Your mom might not be able to show her love for you and she might not appreciate your love and care for her but there will be other people in your life who will! Take care of yourself, -J > > Hi, > > I'm new to the group. > > I found out close to 3 yrs ago that the behavior my mom exhibited/exhibits is BPD. She has yet to go see mental health due to no insurance. I want her to talk to her parish priest but she won't because she doesn't want people to talk about her. > > She is also unemployed and has no friends/family. My dad died in 1996 and she never re-married/dated. I'm her only 'lifeline' and I live out of state. > > My mom I think is getting worse. She is talking gibberish and convienced herself the next door neighbors are listening into her conversations; have broken into the house to plant listening devices, etc... > > When I was trying to calm her down and say she had nothing to worry about, she went on a rant and told me to shut up over and over. " Don't you know they're listening? " > > Also, we were arguing and she of course blame me for being unsympathic. She said she is better off dead and call me a f-er and a f-in SOB. Mom also said she had thoughts of killing me and herself and that she is better off dead. She also tried to pull my cheeks and I got away. > > Seeing her I don't know who she is anymore. I don't know what to do. It pains me to say " my mom has mental illness. " Her disease also got me in trouble with my job a few months ago (i.e. abandoment issues). > > If anyone has/is experiencing what I'm going through, I'd appreciate it. > > I'm heartbroken---I'm 27 and have no parents. > > I don't even want her to see my kids when I start having them. When I see the Humana commercials with the children with their grandparents I just cry b/c I know I don't trust her. > > Thanks > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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