they damaged our friggin DNA

[Guest guest]

Not sure if I ve ever shared this before. My nada was pregnant 3 other

times after I was born.

I had a baby sister who died a few weeks after birth, and another

sister and a brother, both still born. I m the only survivor.

I ve thought of my siblings, and missed them, wondered how it would have

been to be a big brother and defend my little ones.

But I ve also thought, my sisters, and my brother, I m so very glad you

died when you did. It saved you all a lifetime of what I dealt with. I

saved you being left there with her alone when I finally got out. It

saved you.

How awful it seems to think that. How awful that it can be true.

Doug

> >

> > Hi ,

> >

> > I agree with the ideas in the rat study. So our Nadas screwed us up

on many levels growing up. But in line with what I believe in, we can

change this. I don't think this is fixed and if we can make the changes,

get the help and find positive environments, I think we can change this.

I don't think anything is ever fixed in stone, it just takes a lot of

hard work sometimes. Hurts like hell, seems never ending, but is not

impossible. My philosophy is, this is my life, I am an adult now and I

am taking back control of it and living it how I want to live it, by

what is important to me and what i believe in. Am I screwed up, sure am,

but I just try to live every day the best that I can, and little bit, by

little bit, things get better.

> >

> > Life is a continual evolution, as are we. Our Nada's screwed things

up pretty badly for us to start with, so we've got a bit more work to

do. But I don't ever think it is impossible to change this. Science

knows so very little about the brain and how it works, except that the

systems we have internally are incredible things.

> >

> > So I'm a bit screwed up, does this reflect on me as a person, no way

(and maybe one day I'll even believe this too) and I have every ability

to live a healthy, happy life. As I said, it will take some work, but no

matter what science may suggest it is possible to change this. If I went

by statistics, I should never have gone to University, I should never

have got the job I have, earn the money I am, and not have gone further

than I have when depressed. We can reclaim our lives back from the

abuse, and we can claim our lives back from our dna. I truly believe

this and no matter how depressed I get, I never entirely lose sight of

this. What we do, the changes we make, can make a difference in our

lives. We can make things better. This is my life, and this is how I

choose to live it.

> >

> > Sorry about the rant, but this really goes to the core of why I get

up every morning and is really important to me and has gotten me through

some tough times.

> >

> > Jodie

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow ditto Doug. My baby brother died. How did your nada respond? Mine sort

of rolled around in the loss and enjoyed it, tattooed it on her forhead and

used it as the excuse for every single things she didn't feel like doing for

the rest of her life. Extremely creepy. She told me on more than one

occaision that she " loved my brother who died more than she ever loved me. "

>

>

>

> Not sure if I ve ever shared this before. My nada was pregnant 3 other

> times after I was born.

>

> I had a baby sister who died a few weeks after birth, and another

> sister and a brother, both still born. I m the only survivor.

>

> I ve thought of my siblings, and missed them, wondered how it would have

> been to be a big brother and defend my little ones.

>

> But I ve also thought, my sisters, and my brother, I m so very glad you

> died when you did. It saved you all a lifetime of what I dealt with. I

> saved you being left there with her alone when I finally got out. It

> saved you.

>

> How awful it seems to think that. How awful that it can be true.

>

> Doug

>

>

>

> > >

> > > Hi ,

> > >

> > > I agree with the ideas in the rat study. So our Nadas screwed us up

> on many levels growing up. But in line with what I believe in, we can

> change this. I don't think this is fixed and if we can make the changes,

> get the help and find positive environments, I think we can change this.

> I don't think anything is ever fixed in stone, it just takes a lot of

> hard work sometimes. Hurts like hell, seems never ending, but is not

> impossible. My philosophy is, this is my life, I am an adult now and I

> am taking back control of it and living it how I want to live it, by

> what is important to me and what i believe in. Am I screwed up, sure am,

> but I just try to live every day the best that I can, and little bit, by

> little bit, things get better.

> > >

> > > Life is a continual evolution, as are we. Our Nada's screwed things

> up pretty badly for us to start with, so we've got a bit more work to

> do. But I don't ever think it is impossible to change this. Science

> knows so very little about the brain and how it works, except that the

> systems we have internally are incredible things.

> > >

> > > So I'm a bit screwed up, does this reflect on me as a person, no way

> (and maybe one day I'll even believe this too) and I have every ability

> to live a healthy, happy life. As I said, it will take some work, but no

> matter what science may suggest it is possible to change this. If I went

> by statistics, I should never have gone to University, I should never

> have got the job I have, earn the money I am, and not have gone further

> than I have when depressed. We can reclaim our lives back from the

> abuse, and we can claim our lives back from our dna. I truly believe

> this and no matter how depressed I get, I never entirely lose sight of

> this. What we do, the changes we make, can make a difference in our

> lives. We can make things better. This is my life, and this is how I

> choose to live it.

> > >

> > > Sorry about the rant, but this really goes to the core of why I get

> up every morning and is really important to me and has gotten me through

> some tough times.

> > >

> > > Jodie

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

50 years later, she would still call me to tell me yesterday would have

been your little sisters s birthday. I went out and stretched my self

out on her little grave and sobbed hysterically all day.

Yup.

Doug

>

> >

>

>

>