10 things I like about myself

[Guest guest]

My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself. Apparently we

or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad parent, spawning

from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too hard on me,

punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is supportive,

encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad parent voice

in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things I like about

myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it WOULD be easy.

But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able, even before I

write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and dismiss it or

even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like about myself I

find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself. Like I'm angry at

myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like something about

myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it and think about

it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts. But it's very

hard to do that.

So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it with

me is free to join a long.

I'm working on #1 right now...

[Guest guest]

I'll play.

#1 - I have integrity. Personally and professionally.

#2 - I'm smart.

#3 - I'm loyal.

#4 - I forgive. Others and myself.

That's about as far as I can get right now and even the shakes start coming.

Wow... just writing THOSE I can 'hear' Nada screeching in the back of my head

why they're lies. Or worse yet, " truths " with a lot of " BUT BUT BUT's " thrown

in.

Ok... breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Lynnette

>

> My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself. Apparently

we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad parent, spawning

from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too hard on me,

punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is supportive,

encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad parent voice

in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things I like about

myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it WOULD be easy.

But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able, even before I

write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and dismiss it or

even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like about myself I

find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself. Like I'm angry at

myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like something about

myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it and think about

it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts. But it's very

hard to do that.

>

> So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

>

> I'm working on #1 right now...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette,

Do you know how envious I am right now that you can get to #4?!

So for me, I'm going to say:

#1: I like that I have great self-awareness. No, I'm not Buddha and perfectly

enlightened and self-aware, but I strive to be honest with myself about my

emotions, why I feel certain ways, and why I do the things that I do. I like

that I have attained a certain degree of self-awareness and with that

self-awareness, compassion for myself (and yes, I'm working on that one) and

others.

Seriously, the voices in my head are screaming to deny that and BUT BUT BUT it

and take it away so LOUD. But I'm going to take the rest of the day and let it

stand.

> >

> > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> >

> > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

> >

> > I'm working on #1 right now...

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

HOw about this...

#1 - I have great self-awareness.

Period.

NO follow up justifying paragraph. NO explanation. Just state it - maybe with

a short word or two if you must - afterwards.

One of the big things my therapist got through to me on after 2 1/2 years was

that I don't have to justify anything I say because I'm not going to 'get in

trouble' for saying it. " Just speak your truth in short, sweet statements and

let them stand alone. " Wow... I get it now.

Give it a try.

I bet, with that perspective, you'll be to #5 soon!

Lynnette

> > >

> > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > >

> > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

> > >

> > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette,

I said I was going to have trouble with this...=(

> > > >

> > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > >

> > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on

it with me is free to join a long.

> > > >

> > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Fire-cracker! Fire-cracker! Shish-Boo-Bah! Bugs Bunny! Bugs Bunny! Rah! Rah!

Rah!

You CAN do this!

Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > >

> > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work

on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm just saying don't jump on me to be as ready to do it the way you are. I have

to work through my own emotions on this.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work

on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Um... that wasn't a jump. That was a 'light at the end of the dark tunnel'

encouragement. I KNOW it's a long tunnel. I've been there, and to some extent,

still AM! Encouragement, assistance, cheer-squad... never EVER a bash!

Peace.

Lynnette

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to

work on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I appreciate your encouragement. I guess felt like you were jumping on me

because the way you phrased your first response to my #1 didn't feel so much

like encouragement to me but like I was being shoved a lot further than I can

handle right now. I expressed how hard to even write what I did write was for

me. Writing just what I wrote and not completely dismissing what I like was me

pushing myself further than I can really handle. And I felt the way you phrased

your response was shoving me further.

Like I said, I appreciate your encouragement. And the fact that you can do this

gives me hope that one day I can too.

It's really eye-opening when someone asks you what you like about yourself and

you don't have anything to say.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent

myself. Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The

bad parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far

too hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to

work on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Actually Lynette, I have to apologize and be completely honest with you. You're

response was basically telling me how I did this exercise wrong or how I could

have done it better. And I find that inappropriate when we are talking about me

trying to work on liking myself and not punishing myself dor perceived failures.

You're response was like what my nada would say: this is how you SHOULD have

said it. Like saying something I like about myself wasn't enough. I'm spiraling

into an anxiety attack because I don't want to confront you about what I think

was a harsh and inappropriate response, but I'm stopping that right now by

saying that what I've said above was how your response read to me.

I'm not going to apologize for feeling this way, and I'm not wrong. Maybe you

didn't mean it that way, but that's the way it read. I will not let your

negative response to my attempt to say something about myself that I like derail

me.

That's just how I feel.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent

myself. Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The

bad parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far

too hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to

work on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

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> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm very sorry that's how my response read to you. My intent was completely the

opposite... to help you find your answers by not making your head spin so hard

on the justifications.

I hope you find the solice you need.

Peace and good wishes for you on your journey.

Lynnette

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent

myself. Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The

bad parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far

too hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants

to work on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > > > > >

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> > > > > >

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>

[Guest guest]

I really appreciate that, and I REALLY appreciate you letting me say what I

needed to say.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent

myself. Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The

bad parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far

too hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants

to work on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

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> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I like that I can stay 'calm like a bomb' through ANY negative encounter that

is not with my fada.

I like my personal philosophy on politics, science and health.

I like that I can handle any amount of anger without going psychotic(truly).

I like that I have the guts to pursue strange and archaic subject matter without

shame or guilt of being considered a freak.

I like that I have the guts not to have a college degree.

I like that I don't conform to social pressures to be 'cooperative' when fada is

getting flaky.

I like that I never called the police on my family(they did to me).

I like that I have superhuman impulse control.

I like that I have a personal understand Gandhi's philosophy of self sacrifice.

I like that God has blessed me with a BPD parent so that I truly understand the

meaning of compassion (this one makes me wanna puke-but true).

I like that I am articulate enough to write all the above.

I LOVE the fact I'm not insane(let's hear it for KO's!!!).

I like my hair.

I like eyebrows.

I like my technical accomplishments.

I like my taste.

I like my body language.

I like my tone of voice.

I like that I don't have a cellphone(I'm special).

I hate everything else.

Those are mine. Thankyou.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent

myself. Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The

bad parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far

too hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants

to work on it with me is free to join a long.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > I'm working on #1 right now...

> > > > > > > > > >

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> >

>

[Guest guest]

Wow, that's a great list, ! Although I hope you don't hate everything else

about yourself, because I'm sure there are many other good things about you.

Seeing just how difficult this is for me is really eye-opening. I can't silence

the negative voice in my head to get past #1. Ug.

[Guest guest]

Good for you! This is how I healed myself 25 years ago, when I had three little

boys and a marriage I was able to save. Good luck and lots of love to you. You

are lovable.

Kay

>

> My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself. Apparently

we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad parent, spawning

from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too hard on me,

punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is supportive,

encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad parent voice

in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things I like about

myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it WOULD be easy.

But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able, even before I

write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and dismiss it or

even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like about myself I

find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself. Like I'm angry at

myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like something about

myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it and think about

it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts. But it's very

hard to do that.

>

> So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

>

> I'm working on #1 right now...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

So . . . here's an odd trick that has worked for me in situations like this.

Get a crayon or pencil and write, with your dominant hand: " What do you like

about you? "

Then, pick up the crayon/pencil with your NON dominant hand, and start writing.

It sounds odd, but I've been able to articulate my " true " thoughts about

something much better that way. My theory is: when you write with your

non-dominant hand, your brain is so focused on writing (which is awkward and

takes concentration) it doesn't have ability to filter " scary " thoughts and shut

them down.

Worth a try, anyway!

Blessings,

Karla

>

> My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself. Apparently

we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad parent, spawning

from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too hard on me,

punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is supportive,

encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad parent voice

in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things I like about

myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it WOULD be easy.

But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able, even before I

write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and dismiss it or

even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like about myself I

find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself. Like I'm angry at

myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like something about

myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it and think about

it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts. But it's very

hard to do that.

>

> So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

>

> I'm working on #1 right now...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I like that idea. It's really unfortunate I'm ambidextrous.

I think the struggle might be part of this exercise though, which sucks even

more. It's kind of like running a marathon. Hurts like hell while you're doing

it, but you feel like you've accomplished something when you're done.

Maybe I could try writing it with my toes. =)

I'm taking a break from the list making for a few days.

> >

> > My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is truly warped thinking. Even as a write it

and think about it here I know that I have to silence these negative thoughts.

But it's very hard to do that.

> >

> > So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

> >

> > I'm working on #1 right now...

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Just glancing over some of the responses. Pretty interesting and I can see most

have trouble finding anything to say " nice " about themselves. I think I was

taught to never " toot my own horn. " That it's rude to compliment myself, that

there's always someone out there better than me.

So if someone does compliment you, how do you handle it? I used to disagree and

then explain why their comment wasn't true. I did eventually learn to nod my

head and say thank you but inside I'm still arguing that their comment is

baloney. I am NOT smart, clever, whatever.

And what about job interviews? That's the worst. They want you to list your

accomplishments or describe your strengths. My brain goes blank. Just like this

challenge: list 10 things I like about myself. I can list a few things people

say about me but what do I like? Hmm. I try hard to help others. That's got to

be good for something. Or it gets me in trouble. LOL

[Guest guest]

So far I haven't been able to write anything I like about myself personally, but

I am grateful that I am able to write nice things about myself professionally.

I just had an epiphany moment: that's the one area in which my nada actually was

a positive influence; she and dad both promoted me developing my talent and

encouraged me to have a career in this field.

The way I'm feeling now, though, I wonder if nada being a " booster " in that way

had anything to do with me? Was nada doing it for herself, similar to the way

some " stage mothers " push their child into performing onstage because the stage

mother herself is a frustrated, unsuccessful performer? And does it matter, at

this point?

I'll have to try that left-handed exercise, it might work for me since I'm not

ambidextrous.

-Annie/anuria

>

> Just glancing over some of the responses. Pretty interesting and I can see

most have trouble finding anything to say " nice " about themselves. I think I was

taught to never " toot my own horn. " That it's rude to compliment myself, that

there's always someone out there better than me.

>

> So if someone does compliment you, how do you handle it? I used to disagree

and then explain why their comment wasn't true. I did eventually learn to nod my

head and say thank you but inside I'm still arguing that their comment is

baloney. I am NOT smart, clever, whatever.

>

> And what about job interviews? That's the worst. They want you to list your

accomplishments or describe your strengths. My brain goes blank. Just like this

challenge: list 10 things I like about myself. I can list a few things people

say about me but what do I like? Hmm. I try hard to help others. That's got to

be good for something. Or it gets me in trouble. LOL

>

[Guest guest]

>

> I like that idea. It's really unfortunate I'm ambidextrous.

>

>And you don't think being ambidextrous is a really neat and unique

characteristic that makes you, you. Put that on your list and while you're at

it, add that Kay likes your posts on WTO and thinks you write well. While

I'm at it, everyone of you who has posted you don't know what to write about

yourselves should add that to your lists, because all of you are on this site

and you are all expressing your situations with great eloquence. So all of you

add that to your list!

Okay, who else needs help finding good things about themselves? I'm open for

support. Folks this is an important exercise, it saved my life, my marriage and

my kids twenty-five years ago and taught me to like myself, and I want that for

all of you.

May we all continue to heal all of our lives.

Much love and support to all of you.

Kay

[Guest guest]

Thank you, Kay! You just gave me my #2 and made me feel actually excited

about this exercise!

> >

> > I like that idea. It's really unfortunate I'm ambidextrous.

> >

> >And you don't think being ambidextrous is a really neat and unique

characteristic that makes you, you. Put that on your list and while you're at

it, add that Kay likes your posts on WTO and thinks you write well. While

I'm at it, everyone of you who has posted you don't know what to write about

yourselves should add that to your lists, because all of you are on this site

and you are all expressing your situations with great eloquence. So all of you

add that to your list!

> Okay, who else needs help finding good things about themselves? I'm open for

support. Folks this is an important exercise, it saved my life, my marriage and

my kids twenty-five years ago and taught me to like myself, and I want that for

all of you.

> May we all continue to heal all of our lives.

> Much love and support to all of you.

> Kay

>

[Guest guest]

I don't think the problem is that you guys hate yourself. It's a matter of

creativity and vocabulary. We've been beaten into 'black and white feeling'

just like some people we know. Our feelings just don't flow about when we think

about ourselves. Try to remember what physical thing you did that made you have

any feeling at all. I used to love my legos. That makes me feel that I'm

creative. I love science fiction movies. That makes me feel inspired and

philosophical, etc. I love plaster sculpture. Makes me feel worldly, important

and perceptive. Don't have any other thought than that.

We feel like we're scamming ourselves if we aren't critical. Get used to the

feeling of defrauding yourself and after a while you forget it's a scam and it

becomes real. Takes practice.

> > >

> > > I like that idea. It's really unfortunate I'm ambidextrous.

> > >

> > >And you don't think being ambidextrous is a really neat and unique

characteristic that makes you, you. Put that on your list and while you're at

it, add that Kay likes your posts on WTO and thinks you write well. While

I'm at it, everyone of you who has posted you don't know what to write about

yourselves should add that to your lists, because all of you are on this site

and you are all expressing your situations with great eloquence. So all of you

add that to your list!

> > Okay, who else needs help finding good things about themselves? I'm open for

support. Folks this is an important exercise, it saved my life, my marriage and

my kids twenty-five years ago and taught me to like myself, and I want that for

all of you.

> > May we all continue to heal all of our lives.

> > Much love and support to all of you.

> > Kay

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I'm having a really hard time with this one too - and believe it or not,

I've come a very very long way learning to like anything about myself.

here's a couple - I like the way I look once in a while (not all the time

but on rare ocaision), I like it that I know how to cook. . . um. . . kay. .

.. . I like that I commited to therapy and this group.

Annie, I'm very interested in the " stage mom " thing that you brought up.

Does anyone here have experience with stage moms? or know about them.

Facinating to me, my nada wasn't really one because she was too busy

slapping and kicking me down of the stage so she could climb up and do

something badly, but I think there was potential for it - if she could have

figured out a way to " own " it.

On Sat, Feb 19, 2011 at 4:01 PM, H wrote:

>

>

>

>

> I don't think the problem is that you guys hate yourself. It's a matter of

> creativity and vocabulary. We've been beaten into 'black and white feeling'

> just like some people we know. Our feelings just don't flow about when we

> think about ourselves. Try to remember what physical thing you did that made

> you have any feeling at all. I used to love my legos. That makes me feel

> that I'm creative. I love science fiction movies. That makes me feel

> inspired and philosophical, etc. I love plaster sculpture. Makes me feel

> worldly, important and perceptive. Don't have any other thought than that.

>

> We feel like we're scamming ourselves if we aren't critical. Get used to

> the feeling of defrauding yourself and after a while you forget it's a scam

> and it becomes real. Takes practice.

>

>

>

> > > >

> > > > I like that idea. It's really unfortunate I'm ambidextrous.

> > > >

> > > >And you don't think being ambidextrous is a really neat and unique

> characteristic that makes you, you. Put that on your list and while you're

> at it, add that Kay likes your posts on WTO and thinks you write well.

> While I'm at it, everyone of you who has posted you don't know what to write

> about yourselves should add that to your lists, because all of you are on

> this site and you are all expressing your situations with great eloquence.

> So all of you add that to your list!

> > > Okay, who else needs help finding good things about themselves? I'm

> open for support. Folks this is an important exercise, it saved my life, my

> marriage and my kids twenty-five years ago and taught me to like myself, and

> I want that for all of you.

> > > May we all continue to heal all of our lives.

> > > Much love and support to all of you.

> > > Kay

> > >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

i can relate to this one all right!! that 'bad' parent can be sooooooo strong!!

so hard to overcome, but it can be done!  with help we all can

heal.. blessings, ann

Subject: 10 things I like about myself

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Friday, February 18, 2011, 2:00 PM

 

My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself.

Apparently we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad

parent, spawning from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too

hard on me, punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is

supportive, encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad

parent voice in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things

I like about myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it

WOULD be easy. But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able,

even before I write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and

dismiss it or even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like

about myself I find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself.

Like I'm angry at myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like

something about myself. I know this is

truly warped thinking. Even as a write it and think about it here I know that I

have to silence these negative thoughts. But it's very hard to do that.

So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it with

me is free to join a long.

I'm working on #1 right now...

[Guest guest]

i'll play too:1. i have a loving heart.2. i'm smart.3. i'm attractive, with an

attractive smile.4. i have a generous spirit.5. i have many blessings in my

life.6. i know God loves me.7. i can serve my Lord with pleasure.8. i can do

good work.9. i can learn to relax and breeeeeethe.

well that's enuf!!blessings and healing to all,ann

Subject: Re: 10 things I like about myself

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Friday, February 18, 2011, 2:11 PM

 

I'll play.

#1 - I have integrity. Personally and professionally.

#2 - I'm smart.

#3 - I'm loyal.

#4 - I forgive. Others and myself.

That's about as far as I can get right now and even the shakes start coming.

Wow... just writing THOSE I can 'hear' Nada screeching in the back of my head

why they're lies. Or worse yet, " truths " with a lot of " BUT BUT BUT's " thrown

in.

Ok... breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee....

Lynnette

>

> My T and I are working on teaching myself how to re-parent myself. Apparently

we or I have a good parent in my head and a bad parent. The bad parent, spawning

from my parents--specifically nada, is a perfectionist, far too hard on me,

punishes me cruelly, and sabotages me. The good parent is supportive,

encouraging, positive, but very very weak in comparison to the bad parent voice

in my head. So I have been charged by T to make a list of 10 things I like about

myself. You would think this would be easy. In fact, I thought it WOULD be easy.

But everytime I start to write down something I like, I'm able, even before I

write it to find a reason to dislike that quality or ability and dismiss it or

even find myself hating it. Or if there is something that I like about myself I

find myself angry at myself for liking something about myself. Like I'm angry at

myself for being so conceited or self-centered that I like something about

myself. I know this is

truly warped thinking. Even as a write it and think about it here I know that I

have to silence these negative thoughts. But it's very hard to do that.

>

> So I'm going to work on my list here...anyone else who wants to work on it

with me is free to join a long.

>

> I'm working on #1 right now...

>

>

>