Today's mail brought more joy via Nada's irresponsibility.

[Guest guest]

1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an educational

collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and references for her

'stuff.'

Oye.

It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or start

calling.

I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there is.

She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs away

harder.

Thoughts?

Lynnette

[Guest guest]

Morally and legally--I would give the collectors her real address, and

possibly explain that she used you as a contact and references against your

will. Otherwise you'd be helping her run away even more. It's not your

responsibility, and she needs to face her own responsibility. And you can

always feign ignorance when the collectors start contacting HER instead of

you. " It's their job to find people, and I guess they figured out your real

address. "

Has she actually told you to pretend you don't know where she lives? If not,

you can always say, " Oh, they were looking for you so I pointed them in the

right direction. "

Also, I might instate boundaries-- " Mom, please stop using me as a contact

and reference for your financial dealings. Otherwise I will keep on

notifying them of your real address. " and then maintain it.

My 2c.

Holly

On Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 11:07 AM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> references for her 'stuff.'

>

> Oye.

>

> It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

> start calling.

>

> I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

>

> 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

>

> Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

> is.

>

> She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

> WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

>

> This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> away harder.

>

> Thoughts?

>

> Lynnette

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Lynnetter,

You've asked her repeatedly to stop this, so I'd say it is time

to pursue stronger measures. Giving a false address when asking

for credit of any sort sounds like fraud. The DMV tends to

require your real address too. If she's giving the DMV your

address, she's probably giving it to her auto insurance company

as well which would be insurance fraud since rates depend on

location. I'd send the people contacting you registered letters

explaining that she's fraudulently using your address, giving

them her correct contact information, and asking them not to

contact you again.

You could also tell the post office that she doesn't live at

your address and that you don't want mail addressed to her

delivered to you. I had problems with getting a lot of mail that

wasn't mine at one of the places I formerly lived so I stopped

at the post office and they ended up adding to their records an

instruction not to deliver mail addressed to anyone else at my

address.

At 12:07 PM 02/22/2011 yp_lynnette_cameron_park wrote:

>1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from

>an educational collection agency. She's used my name/address

>as contact and references for her 'stuff.'

>

>Oye.

>

>It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up

>again and/or start calling.

>

>I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

>

>1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only

>knows what!

>2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

>

>Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst

>option there is.

>

>She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security,

>etc... all WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP

>for years.

>

>This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as

>she runs away harder.

>

>Thoughts?

>

>Lynnette

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

Holly,

Thank you... we're in the same vein here. I'm going to reply in CAPS to your

comments... makes it easier sometimes for me to get my thoughts clear...

Morally and legally--I would give the collectors her real address, and

possibly explain that she used you as a contact and references against your

will. YES. I'VE ASKED HER NOT TO. I THOUGHT HSE HAD STOPPED

Otherwise you'd be helping her run away even more. It's not your

responsibility, and she needs to face her own responsibility. SHE'S NEVER FACED

RESPONSIBLITIES. EVER.

And you can always feign ignorance when the collectors start contacting HER

instead of you. " It's their job to find people, and I guess they figured out

your real address. "

Has she actually told you to pretend you don't know where she lives? I DIDN'T

HAVE HER ADDRESS FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS. SHE MOVES SO OFTEN THAT I CAN'T KEEP

TRACK. I FINALLY HAVE IT (OR RATHER THAN OF HER MARRIED BOYFRIEND WITH WHOM SHE

CURRENTLY RESIDES) THE LAST ROUND OF PROCESS SERVERS WERE AGHAST THAT I DIDN'T

KNOW WHERE MY MOM LIVED BUT THEN FINALLY SAID, 'WELL IT FITS I GUESS.'

If not, you can always say, " Oh, they were looking for you so I pointed them in

the right direction. " I'M NOT THAT BRAVE.

Also, I might instate boundaries-- " Mom, please stop using me as a contact and

reference for your financial dealings. Otherwise I will keep on notifying them

of your real address. " and then maintain it. I'VE ASKED HER FOR YEARS TO STOP

USING ME AS HER POINT OF CONTACT. I THOUGHT SHE HAD STOPPED. BUT APPARENTLY,

FROM THE ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE AFTER HERE, THIS IS STILL GOING ON.

BTW - THE ATTORNEY'S LETTER IS REPRESENTING THE HOSPITAL WHERE SHE HAD HER

EYE-LIFT DONE LAST SUMMER. YEP... THE BPD ON MEDICAID STIFFS THE PLASTIC

SURGERY CLINIC. IT'S A MADE FOR TV MOMENT!

My 2c. THANK YOU FOR THEM... I'LL CREDIT YOU .25!

>

> >

> >

> > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> > educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> > references for her 'stuff.'

> >

> > Oye.

> >

> > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

> > start calling.

> >

> > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> >

> > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> >

> > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

> > is.

> >

> > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

> > WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> >

> > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> > away harder.

> >

> > Thoughts?

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry, Lynnette--so many people on the board I have a hard time keeping what

happened to whom straight--now I remember that you've told your nada that.

But yes, I'd let the creditors and billers know that she's using your

address fradulently, and provide your best knowledge as to her address.

Geez, why are nadas and fadas so manipulatively cunning?

And wouldn't that be a horrible TV show? One all about a BPD character who

manipulates everybody around them? LOL.

here's hoping you can stop this latest round of mail fraud on part of your

nada...

Holly

On Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 11:22 AM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> Holly,

>

> Thank you... we're in the same vein here. I'm going to reply in CAPS to

> your comments... makes it easier sometimes for me to get my thoughts

> clear...

>

> Morally and legally--I would give the collectors her real address, and

> possibly explain that she used you as a contact and references against your

> will. YES. I'VE ASKED HER NOT TO. I THOUGHT HSE HAD STOPPED

>

> Otherwise you'd be helping her run away even more. It's not your

> responsibility, and she needs to face her own responsibility. SHE'S NEVER

> FACED RESPONSIBLITIES. EVER.

>

> And you can always feign ignorance when the collectors start contacting HER

> instead of you. " It's their job to find people, and I guess they figured out

> your real address. "

>

> Has she actually told you to pretend you don't know where she lives? I

> DIDN'T HAVE HER ADDRESS FOR THE LAST 4 YEARS. SHE MOVES SO OFTEN THAT I

> CAN'T KEEP TRACK. I FINALLY HAVE IT (OR RATHER THAN OF HER MARRIED BOYFRIEND

> WITH WHOM SHE CURRENTLY RESIDES) THE LAST ROUND OF PROCESS SERVERS WERE

> AGHAST THAT I DIDN'T KNOW WHERE MY MOM LIVED BUT THEN FINALLY SAID, 'WELL IT

> FITS I GUESS.'

>

> If not, you can always say, " Oh, they were looking for you so I pointed

> them in the right direction. " I'M NOT THAT BRAVE.

>

> Also, I might instate boundaries-- " Mom, please stop using me as a contact

> and reference for your financial dealings. Otherwise I will keep on

> notifying them of your real address. " and then maintain it. I'VE ASKED HER

> FOR YEARS TO STOP USING ME AS HER POINT OF CONTACT. I THOUGHT SHE HAD

> STOPPED. BUT APPARENTLY, FROM THE ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE AFTER HERE, THIS IS

> STILL GOING ON.

>

> BTW - THE ATTORNEY'S LETTER IS REPRESENTING THE HOSPITAL WHERE SHE HAD HER

> EYE-LIFT DONE LAST SUMMER. YEP... THE BPD ON MEDICAID STIFFS THE PLASTIC

> SURGERY CLINIC. IT'S A MADE FOR TV MOMENT!

>

> My 2c. THANK YOU FOR THEM... I'LL CREDIT YOU .25!

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> > > educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact

> and

> > > references for her 'stuff.'

> > >

> > > Oye.

> > >

> > > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again

> and/or

> > > start calling.

> > >

> > > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> > >

> > > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows

> what!

> > > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> > >

> > > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option

> there

> > > is.

> > >

> > > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc...

> all

> > > WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> > >

> > > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she

> runs

> > > away harder.

> > >

> > > Thoughts?

> > >

> > > Lynnette

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Lynette:

Man. At this point, it might be worth the money to sit down with an attorney for

an hour and find out what, if anything, you can do to make this stop or at least

protect yourself. If any of this starts messing with *your* credit, it can make

your life really miserable!

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

Hey Lynette,

I can imagine how being constantly confronted with nada through receiving her

mail is so frustrating and triggering. I liked the suggestions of others but

wanted to add one more, but it might be more annoying than it's worth.

When the creditors call or when you respond to the people trying to find her, if

you can explain that you are estranged and you don't have her current address,

and also that she's using you as a reference without your permission, they might

be able to add that to the file and will stop contacting you. If you make it

clear to them that you're not protecting her, you just really don't know the

info they are asking for and would gladly give it to them because it's no skin

off your back, I seem to recall that they will actually note it in their files

and stop contacting you for it.

Of course, that could be terribly frustrating to have to talk to all those

people. But it's just a thought I had.

Good luck!

[Guest guest]

Because you have her current address, why don't you file a change of address

form from your address to that address just for her. The mail will stop coming

to you and start going to her, plus the post office notifies the social security

administration and DMV etc. ( we moved four years ago and were pleasantly

surprised by how easy they made the address change.)

Sent from my blueberry.

> Hey Lynette,

>

> I can imagine how being constantly confronted with nada through receiving her

mail is so frustrating and triggering. I liked the suggestions of others but

wanted to add one more, but it might be more annoying than it's worth.

>

> When the creditors call or when you respond to the people trying to find her,

if you can explain that you are estranged and you don't have her current

address, and also that she's using you as a reference without your permission,

they might be able to add that to the file and will stop contacting you. If you

make it clear to them that you're not protecting her, you just really don't know

the info they are asking for and would gladly give it to them because it's no

skin off your back, I seem to recall that they will actually note it in their

files and stop contacting you for it.

>

> Of course, that could be terribly frustrating to have to talk to all those

people. But it's just a thought I had.

>

> Good luck!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My thoughts:

1) Dangit I'm sorry you're having to go through this. As if life isn't hard

enough (for cryin' out loud) that you have to have henchmen coming to your door!

You don't deserve this, and it makes me mad!!

2) I would suggest pursuing legal action. This really feels like identify fraud

as well. I'm guessing a lawyer would know what to do.

It doesn't necessarily have to mean you talk to nada about it. But, this could

get much uglier if you don't do something. I'm imagining the possibility of her

doing something REALLY illegal and you getting caught in the middle. What will

you say if you are implicated and/or charged with something? And . . . if she

were in trouble and thought she could get you to take the fall, wouldn't she?

Imagine talking to a policeman/judge: " Um, yes, she's my mother. No, I don't

like to talk to her. I told her to stop using my address. She wouldn't. No, I

don't know her address. No. Really. You gotta believe me--even though she

just told you she's lived with me for the last 10 years (you know how they lie)

she made it all up. " Who would believe that if you don't have a record

somewhere stating the truth BEFORE it happens? Just a thought.

3) I wouldn't be brave enough to confront her, either. Any and all solutions

should not include direct contact with her over this issue. Personally, I

wouldn't be strong enough to fight for myself if it means one on one contact.

4) When they contact you, have you tried: " My mother is mentally ill. She's

falsified her address before, and used my information fraudlently. If you find

her, let me know--I'm considering pursuing charges. " None of that is false, and

it just might get them less interested in you!

5) I would consider creating a signed written document stating she used your

address fraudulently, she used it against your will, and she has not--nor will

ever--live with you. Hand a copy to everyone who comes calling, (send a copy to

anyone who sent you something) and ask them to put it in their file. If nothing

else, there will be a paper trail disconnecting you from her. And, again, most

counties and cities will let you record a document like that for a small fee.

It doesn't have any legal ramifications that I'm aware, but there's something

rather intimidated about a statement " recorded with the county and state. "

6) That plastic surgery story is just too funny, in a dark and sad way! You're

so right! Made for TV . . .

Bless you! May this all settle down with minimum resistence on your part!

Karla

>

> 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an educational

collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and references for her

'stuff.'

>

> Oye.

>

> It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

start calling.

>

> I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

>

> 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

>

> Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there is.

>

> She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

>

> This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs away

harder.

>

> Thoughts?

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

YOU GUYS ROCK!

Ok, too many responses so quickly! Thank you.... I have a plan!

1) I " m going to the post office today to file the change of address for my house

and for dads (his permission is OK'd.) That should stop all things coming to

our homes for HER.

2) I'm sending the papers back with her post office box # (which I just got.)

No phone (it changes) and no physical address (don't know where she's at.)

3) I've spoken with previous agencies looking for her and told them, " I don't

know where she is, she's mentally ill, good luck! " and have found ONE symathetic

ear. But that takes a lot of time/energy I don't have. So PO box it is.

I have to remember that she's invading ME and MINE - again - and she won't stop

on her own. She's NEVER lived here (I've been where I am for 10.5 years) and I

have the records to show that. I just don't need this emotional drama... and

neither does my family as 'the process servers' come beating on the door at all

hours. Ick!

Thank you all for your in put... I think I got everything y'all said. How does

THIS plan sound?

Lynnette

>

> 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an educational

collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and references for her

'stuff.'

>

> Oye.

>

> It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

start calling.

>

> I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

>

> 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

>

> Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there is.

>

> She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

>

> This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs away

harder.

>

> Thoughts?

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

Sounds great! Good luck, and Godspeed!

On Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 12:22 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> YOU GUYS ROCK!

>

> Ok, too many responses so quickly! Thank you.... I have a plan!

>

> 1) I " m going to the post office today to file the change of address for my

> house and for dads (his permission is OK'd.) That should stop all things

> coming to our homes for HER.

>

> 2) I'm sending the papers back with her post office box # (which I just

> got.) No phone (it changes) and no physical address (don't know where she's

> at.)

>

> 3) I've spoken with previous agencies looking for her and told them, " I

> don't know where she is, she's mentally ill, good luck! " and have found ONE

> symathetic ear. But that takes a lot of time/energy I don't have. So PO box

> it is.

>

> I have to remember that she's invading ME and MINE - again - and she won't

> stop on her own. She's NEVER lived here (I've been where I am for 10.5

> years) and I have the records to show that. I just don't need this emotional

> drama... and neither does my family as 'the process servers' come beating on

> the door at all hours. Ick!

>

> Thank you all for your in put... I think I got everything y'all said. How

> does THIS plan sound?

>

> Lynnette

>

>

> >

> > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> references for her 'stuff.'

> >

> > Oye.

> >

> > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again

> and/or start calling.

> >

> > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> >

> > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows

> what!

> > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> >

> > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

> is.

> >

> > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

> WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> >

> > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> away harder.

> >

> > Thoughts?

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I wonder if its time to consult an attorney? I've seen notices in newspapers

from time to time stating something like: " I hereby give public notice that I am

not responsible for the debts of so-and-so. " So perhaps you need to make a

public, published announcement of that kind in order to not be held legally

liable for your nada's debts?

I am only vaguely aware of such things, so I would consult with a lawyer.

Just a suggestion to consider, to protect yourself from legal liability. If

your nada is committing fraud or other financial crimes, then, that was/is her

willful choice and its not your job to bail her out. Plus, she was happily

willing to toss them *your* name so that you'd take the blame and have the

aggravation and expense and possible legal repercussions to deal with. Good

grief!

What if YOU wound up in jail because of criminal fraud she committed? Would

your mother appear, take the blame and rescue you from an unjust fate?

Somehow, I doubt it.

-Annie

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> > > educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> > > references for her 'stuff.'

> > >

> > > Oye.

> > >

> > > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

> > > start calling.

> > >

> > > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> > >

> > > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> > > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> > >

> > > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

> > > is.

> > >

> > > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

> > > WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> > >

> > > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> > > away harder.

> > >

> > > Thoughts?

> > >

> > > Lynnette

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Annie,

When all this started, I locked down my credit. She can't use my #'s or apply

without them alerting me first. I'm a closed ship. So far, she's done none of

that. It's just that she lists me as " Contact and Reference " on things and so

they come hunting at MY door... but she has NO access to my serious stuff.

I have consulted an attorney on this and he told me to do that on my credit

reports. I'm not liable for any of her financial stuff. Ever.

He has stressed that I seriously consider a RO against her but that's such a

hard, hard call. Not out of the realm of possibility but I need to be very

careful with it all...

One thing I've learned in all of this MY NADA IS NUTS drama? It's NOT me and I

CAN'T go it alone... so I no longer hide in shame ... I pull in people and get

it taken care of. AND I'M ANGRY!!! (Therapist's first thing she noticed about

me " You have NO anger... WHERE is your anger? " )

Lynnette - MAD AS HELL RIGHT NOW!

> > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> > > > educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> > > > references for her 'stuff.'

> > > >

> > > > Oye.

> > > >

> > > > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again

and/or

> > > > start calling.

> > > >

> > > > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> > > >

> > > > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows

what!

> > > > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> > > >

> > > > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option

there

> > > > is.

> > > >

> > > > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc...

all

> > > > WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> > > >

> > > > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> > > > away harder.

> > > >

> > > > Thoughts?

> > > >

> > > > Lynnette

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

I'm relieved for you that you have consulted an attorney and have done things to

protect yourself from your nada so she can't hack into your accounts and commit

identity fraud, etc. Whew!

However, if your lawyer has recommended a restraining order, then, I'd seriously

reconsider it. He must believe that its necessary in order to protect you and

your family from nada. I'm betting the recommendation wasn't made lightly.

And, in a way I'm also glad for you that you were able to access your anger.

Sometimes anger can be a positive and healthy thing, if it leads to taking

appropriate action to protect yourself and your family from harm. I myself find

it to be a more energizing and proactive emotion than shame and fear (which can

paralyze me) so, I'm glad accessing your anger helped you help yourself.

best wishes,

Annie

> > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> > > > > educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact

and

> > > > > references for her 'stuff.'

> > > > >

> > > > > Oye.

> > > > >

> > > > > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again

and/or

> > > > > start calling.

> > > > >

> > > > > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> > > > >

> > > > > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows

what!

> > > > > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> > > > >

> > > > > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option

there

> > > > > is.

> > > > >

> > > > > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc...

all

> > > > > WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> > > > >

> > > > > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she

runs

> > > > > away harder.

> > > > >

> > > > > Thoughts?

> > > > >

> > > > > Lynnette

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Applause

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Tue, February 22, 2011 12:23:07 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Today's mail brought more joy via Nada's

irresponsibility.

Sounds great! Good luck, and Godspeed!

On Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 12:22 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> YOU GUYS ROCK!

>

> Ok, too many responses so quickly! Thank you.... I have a plan!

>

> 1) I " m going to the post office today to file the change of address for my

> house and for dads (his permission is OK'd.) That should stop all things

> coming to our homes for HER.

>

> 2) I'm sending the papers back with her post office box # (which I just

> got.) No phone (it changes) and no physical address (don't know where she's

> at.)

>

> 3) I've spoken with previous agencies looking for her and told them, " I

> don't know where she is, she's mentally ill, good luck! " and have found ONE

> symathetic ear. But that takes a lot of time/energy I don't have. So PO box

> it is.

>

> I have to remember that she's invading ME and MINE - again - and she won't

> stop on her own. She's NEVER lived here (I've been where I am for 10.5

> years) and I have the records to show that. I just don't need this emotional

> drama... and neither does my family as 'the process servers' come beating on

> the door at all hours. Ick!

>

> Thank you all for your in put... I think I got everything y'all said. How

> does THIS plan sound?

>

> Lynnette

>

>

> >

> > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> references for her 'stuff.'

> >

> > Oye.

> >

> > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again

> and/or start calling.

> >

> > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> >

> > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows

> what!

> > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> >

> > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

> is.

> >

> > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

> WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> >

> > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> away harder.

> >

> > Thoughts?

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

> 

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette - Jail is a lot cheaper than a nursing home. I say call the cops.

[Guest guest]

I'd give them her address. She has no right to continually step on you like

this... to use your address without your permission? Wow. Yes, I'd

definitely give them her address and let HER deal with THEIR wrath! Yes,

there will likely be implications for you BUT, the only thing I can offer as

advice would be to protect yourself as best you can and keep bouncing the

responsibility back to her. When she starts to rage, walk away or hang up

the phone. When she's calmer, tell her " I've told you not to use my address

& to stop using me as a contact/reference. If you continue to do so, I will

continue to give them your information because I am legally obligated to do

so and you will have to deal with the consequences of your own actions. " I

really think that dealing with BPDs at any age is like dealing with a child

and you MUST give them firm boundaries and be consistent!

Granted, this " advice " is coming from the woman who walked away from her

nada. But I really do think that morally, legally, ethically, you have an

obligation to " turn her in " so to speak. She brought this on herself, and

she cannot be allowed to use you for her own irresponsibility & law

breaking. Let her pay the price. I could only hope by doing so, she might

learn a lesson... but then again we're talking about BPD.

*HUGS* to you lady! I'm so sorry you have to go through this.

Mia

On Tue, Feb 22, 2011 at 12:07 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

> educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

> references for her 'stuff.'

>

> Oye.

>

> It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

> start calling.

>

> I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

>

> 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

>

> Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

> is.

>

> She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

> WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

>

> This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

> away harder.

>

> Thoughts?

>

> Lynnette

>

[Guest guest]

Great advice Katrina. I wonder if there is any way Lynette can contact the

DMV as well to let them know it is a fraudulent address? I'm very

serious... I don't like that kind of underhanded sneakiness and really feel

the best people to deal with it are the proper authorities! Love the advice

about the mail too, and yes, you can have it stopped. I had a PO box and

continued to get mail from former renters of that box. I had them add a

note like that too so that I only got my own mail.

Mia

>

>

> Lynnetter,

> You've asked her repeatedly to stop this, so I'd say it is time

> to pursue stronger measures. Giving a false address when asking

> for credit of any sort sounds like fraud. The DMV tends to

> require your real address too. If she's giving the DMV your

> address, she's probably giving it to her auto insurance company

> as well which would be insurance fraud since rates depend on

> location. I'd send the people contacting you registered letters

> explaining that she's fraudulently using your address, giving

> them her correct contact information, and asking them not to

> contact you again.

>

> You could also tell the post office that she doesn't live at

> your address and that you don't want mail addressed to her

> delivered to you. I had problems with getting a lot of mail that

> wasn't mine at one of the places I formerly lived so I stopped

> at the post office and they ended up adding to their records an

> instruction not to deliver mail addressed to anyone else at my

> address.

>

[Guest guest]

Lynette said, " BTW - THE ATTORNEY'S LETTER IS REPRESENTING THE HOSPITAL

WHERE SHE HAD HER EYE-LIFT DONE LAST SUMMER. YEP... THE BPD ON MEDICAID

STIFFS THE PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC. IT'S A MADE FOR TV MOMENT! "

Oh... my... gawd. Yes, that just screams BPD to me.

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Two thumbs up!!

> >

> > 1 threatening letter from an attorney's firm and 2 letters from an

educational collection agency. She's used my name/address as contact and

references for her 'stuff.'

> >

> > Oye.

> >

> > It's only a matter of time before the process servers show up again and/or

start calling.

> >

> > I'm wavering between two options of what to do:

> >

> > 1) Give them her address and face her rage, wrath and God only knows what!

> > 2) " Address unknown " and risk them continually contacting me.

> >

> > Both options have pros/cons but to 'do nothing' is the worst option there

is.

> >

> > She's also used my address as 'hers' for DMV, Social Security, etc... all

WITHOUT permission and with me asking her to STOP for years.

> >

> > This is just more of the same but it's getting more frequent as she runs

away harder.

> >

> > Thoughts?

> >

> > Lynnette

> >

>

[Guest guest]

This is almost as good as the " Match.com man of 2006 " - when she went a man she

met on Match (not the married one she's living with now, btw) to L.A. to spend 3

nights in Jim on's old hotel room in Venice to smoke weed, drink for 3

days, read JM's poetry on the walls and try to channel his ghost.

I kid you not.

Can't make this crap up.

Lynnette

>

> Lynette said, " BTW - THE ATTORNEY'S LETTER IS REPRESENTING THE HOSPITAL

> WHERE SHE HAD HER EYE-LIFT DONE LAST SUMMER. YEP... THE BPD ON MEDICAID

> STIFFS THE PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC. IT'S A MADE FOR TV MOMENT! "

>

> Oh... my... gawd. Yes, that just screams BPD to me.

>

> Mia

>

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh, one more...

How about the last time I left Nada alone with teen (then 12) for 4 days... when

I got back he let me know that Nada had rented ALL the Cheech & Chong movies and

that even HE thought that was inappropriate but she wouldn't turn them off.

So I had a middle schooler quoting Tommy Chong for months.

Righteous.

> >

> > Lynette said, " BTW - THE ATTORNEY'S LETTER IS REPRESENTING THE HOSPITAL

> > WHERE SHE HAD HER EYE-LIFT DONE LAST SUMMER. YEP... THE BPD ON MEDICAID

> > STIFFS THE PLASTIC SURGERY CLINIC. IT'S A MADE FOR TV MOMENT! "

> >

> > Oh... my... gawd. Yes, that just screams BPD to me.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Very , very simple, for ANYONE but a KO.

Someone uses your address to conduct business, and avoid debts or return

calls, utterly without your permission. YOU, not they, endure the

dunning calls, knocks on the door, letters, ect. You, not they , cring

when the phone rings.

So, you contact them and say, listen , total stranger, I don t know who

you think you are , using my address, but here is a list of those trying

to reach you to conduct YOUR business. I will be contacting them all

within 24 hours to tell them how to reach YOU, and then YOU may deal

with them, or not, ignore them , or not, at your pleasure.

I will NOT be responsible for your business dealings. If you give out

MY address and phone number as yours in the future, please be aware it

is the same as giving out your own, for I will give your information to

anyone who comes looking for you. If you want to avoid that, dont use

my address.

Why in the world do we ever consider doing anything even remotely

different with nada? I know, I know, its the FOG. But it s time for

the Friggin FOG to lose, and lynette to win.

Contact each and every one of them and tell them the party you are

trying to contact does not, and has never lived at this address, but

here is her contact information. I am not legally responsible for her

debts or obligations, and so in the future please address all such

concerns to her. If you call them, follow it up with a certified

letter to be sure they get the message.

She is avoiding responsibility, and dumping it on you. She will, of

course, continue to do so until THAT action creates consequences.

Create them.

Dear, dear, Lynette, you are engaging in the distorted thinking of

addicts, KOs, and other delusional folks. In what world can you hope to

avoid nada s rage just because you do what it is she wants at the

moment? There is always something else, so we find ourselves

ARE YOU READY? READY, HERE IT COMES....

WALKING ON EGGSHELLS!

Hell yes! That is what they train us to do, and what we do most of our

lives, until we start to heal, grow a friggin spine, and set our

boundaries.

So enough of her Bullshit, dear friend. Do what is right for YOU.

There is no reason at all for you to deal with the calls, the bills, the

duns. She incurred it, she must deal with it. Or not.

It IS NOT your problem.

If she gets pissed, at least she will get pissed at you for asserting

your rights and doing the right thing, and not for the color of sweater

you wear, or not calling her when she thinks you should.

I m reminded of a scene from one of the Hornblower novels by CS

Forester. Young Lt Hornblower is asked whether he would open and read

secret orders for a disabled Captain, or fail to read them and not act

on them. He says instantly I d read those orders. I d far rather be in

trouble for having done something, than for having done nothing.

Bravo. Most of our lives, we are in trouble with nada for having done

nothing, and we cry out at the unfairness of it.

Be BOLD. Step out. Read those orders! Storm Fort Samana! Capture the

Spanish garrison. Achieve glory and fame.

Make the calls, and damn the torpedoes.

Doug

[Guest guest]

A couple other thoughts,

You don t owe her an answer or an explanation. She didnt give you one for doing

it. If she bitches at you and says how did they find out my number and address,

say, Wow, mom, they sure are persistant aren t they?

If not, you can always say, " Oh, they were looking for you so I pointed them in

the right direction. " I'M NOT THAT BRAVE.

> > > > you. " It's their job to find people, and I guess they figured out your

real

You also don t owe collection agencies or attorneys the time of day for someone

elses debts. You may, if you choose, contact them and say this person does not

live her, has never lived here, and does not have permission to use this address

for a contact. If you accept it without checking her out, bad cess on you.

But do not call me anymore about Mrs XXX. You can have an attorney draft a

lettter to that effect.

But I would simply point them in the right direction and say sic em, and leave

me alone.

Doug

[Guest guest]

New reality TV show.

DAWGGONE, the B " P " D Hunter.

Doug

LOL

> Oh... my... gawd. Yes, that just screams BPD to me.

>

> Mia

>

> >

>

>

>