Is this gaslighting? -warning - ODD and LONG POST!

[Guest guest]

Ooooooh ! I'm so sorry if I came across as doubtful, like I said, I

felt bad for even questioning it a bit in the first place, but we are

talking about someone who's mentally ill here and well, with BPD or

whatever's goin on with your nada... it's scary bad!!! And so WEIRD!

Like I said, it wasn't so much that I didn't believe you, I guess I was just

in disbelief that someone could/would do something like that too!!! Holy...

crap. (Pun intended, again).

Your nada needs....something! Psychiatric help would be my first thought

but something tells me she wouldn't go for it.

YIKES!!!! and *HUGS* because I didn't mean to come across like " Oh yeah?

You're lying " because I never thought that... it's just THAT weird! lol

Mia

>

>

> Hi Mia

> I know I know I know it sounds unbelievable. i'm having a hard time making

> sense of it.

> OK so how we know it is poo is a lot to do with pieceing previous events

> together.

> for about 2 weeks before they left I noticed a very horrible strange smell

> just as you enter the bathroom. OMG they stink I thought uncharitably, so I

> cleaned the room more and bought new airfreshener! And opened the window!

> etc etc...the smell persisted! But it was only at the entrance to the

> bathroom and NOT near the toilet.

>

> Then she started going on about the smell and the cancer thing....I felt

> sick inside as you do when you are trained from birth to believe that what

> the NADA says is gospel...so part of me was like " We're all dying of

> cancer!!!AAHHH " the other part was " don't be ridiculous lets think thru this

> rationally!!! "

> And at all costs I mustn't let her know she's got me jinxed!!!! SO I

> laughed it all off as a joke....

>

> So after she's gone I am up cleaning everywhere to try and rid the house of

> their 'scent' !!!! and I found this perfectly round ball of dehydrated

> cracked brown stuff.

> Tight in the corner above the door - where the smell had been coming from.

> I asked my 9 yr old about it and he looked at me like I was totally crazy

> and laughed his head off...so it wasn't him.

> if there had been sufficient mud on someones boots to get up so high it

> would have been everywhere else in the bathroom and flicked onto the walls

> as well..so not mud. And definately not the perfect round shape.

> And not clay either as the consistency was wrong (we are artists so we know

> our materials!!!!)and besides we don't have any clay in the house or studio!

> And the place it was in was really bizarre as if it was definately 'hidden'

> And then all the comments from her about the cleaning, the colour of the

> bathroom, the provision of cleaning bucket after she's left etc all leads me

> to think she wanted me to find it, but after she'd gone...

>

> And we put it in water to watch how it reacted to liquid absorption to see

> if it was mud or clay and well, it turned back into what poo looks like

> normally. DId not dissipate or dissolve.

>

> So at the risk of sounding crazy or like I have jumped to conclusions we

> are pretty sure it was poo. Sad to say.

> And now I can't believe ive written so much about this very odd incident.

> ANd i doubt anyone in the real world will believe me.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

where's the LIKE button?

> >

> > Hi Mia

> > I know I know I know it sounds unbelievable. i'm having a hard time making

sense of it.

> > OK so how we know it is poo is a lot to do with pieceing previous events

together.

> > for about 2 weeks before they left I noticed a very horrible strange smell

just as you enter the bathroom. OMG they stink I thought uncharitably, so I

cleaned the room more and bought new airfreshener! And opened the window! etc

etc...the smell persisted! But it was only at the entrance to the bathroom and

NOT near the toilet.

> >

> > Then she started going on about the smell and the cancer thing....I felt

sick inside as you do when you are trained from birth to believe that what the

NADA says is gospel...so part of me was like " We're all dying of cancer!!!AAHHH "

the other part was " don't be ridiculous lets think thru this rationally!!! "

> > And at all costs I mustn't let her know she's got me jinxed!!!! SO I laughed

it all off as a joke....

> >

> > So after she's gone I am up cleaning everywhere to try and rid the house of

their 'scent' !!!! and I found this perfectly round ball of dehydrated cracked

brown stuff.

> > Tight in the corner above the door - where the smell had been coming from.

> > I asked my 9 yr old about it and he looked at me like I was totally crazy

and laughed his head off...so it wasn't him.

> > if there had been sufficient mud on someones boots to get up so high it

would have been everywhere else in the bathroom and flicked onto the walls as

well..so not mud. And definately not the perfect round shape.

> > And not clay either as the consistency was wrong (we are artists so we know

our materials!!!!)and besides we don't have any clay in the house or studio! And

the place it was in was really bizarre as if it was definately 'hidden'

> > And then all the comments from her about the cleaning, the colour of the

bathroom, the provision of cleaning bucket after she's left etc all leads me to

think she wanted me to find it, but after she'd gone...

> >

> > And we put it in water to watch how it reacted to liquid absorption to see

if it was mud or clay and well, it turned back into what poo looks like

normally. DId not dissipate or dissolve.

> >

> > So at the risk of sounding crazy or like I have jumped to conclusions we are

pretty sure it was poo. Sad to say.

> > And now I can't believe ive written so much about this very odd incident.

ANd i doubt anyone in the real world will believe me.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Mia! No stress! ABsolutely no problemo at all!!!LOL!

i didn't take your mail the wrong way - actually it was really good as you made

me think logically about it all, and if I hadn't done that then by now I would

have excused it all away and told myself it didn't really happen! And gone back

into FOG and probably be handmaking NADA some gorgeous GO HOME gift to show

daughterly love or something equally silly...You did me a favour!

Besides, everyone on this board might (because we have gone thru similar

experiences) be totally biased and supportive to each other even in the face of

crushing damning evidence - so I actually was saying to my husband at the time -

" see - here's one who is being objective! "

also because everyone is saying how more-than-bizarre Nada's behaviour is is

very reassuring to me as i guess that I always viewed her in the past as just

slightly off balance but nothing too major - i 'm so used to all the antics!

LOL!

SO finally, after all these years, I have a real concrete incident to prove to

myself she is NUTS. All the other stuff she did was very sneaky and behind

closed doors and easier to explain away, as there were no witnesses and the FOO

all monkeys etc.

Thanks to everyone at all times who has and will take the time to share

comments! It's ALL good!

I might even have dredge up a few more funny stories to share if I can handle

this online thing long term!!!!

>

> Ooooooh ! I'm so sorry if I came across as doubtful, like I said, I

> felt bad for even questioning it a bit in the first place, but we are

> talking about someone who's mentally ill here and well, with BPD or

> whatever's goin on with your nada... it's scary bad!!! And so WEIRD!

>

> Like I said, it wasn't so much that I didn't believe you, I guess I was just

> in disbelief that someone could/would do something like that too!!! Holy...

> crap. (Pun intended, again).

>

> Your nada needs....something! Psychiatric help would be my first thought

> but something tells me she wouldn't go for it.

>

> YIKES!!!! and *HUGS* because I didn't mean to come across like " Oh yeah?

> You're lying " because I never thought that... it's just THAT weird! lol

>

> Mia

>

> On Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 5:25 AM, rgbargy68

[Guest guest]

HOlly

So weird ! About your dad.It seems to happen alot doesn't it?

It makes me scared to EVER go visit any so-called 'professionals' - I will keep

my gorgeous son away from the 'fruit and nut brigade' as a dear friend calls all

shrinks & quacks!

NADA the child psychologist - She actually pioneered an anti-bullying in schools

program up and down the country and was on TV blah blah blah - good for her the

BIG BULLY!!!!

I have sickening memories of mealtimes during adolescence - i would get the

dinner ready for the family, we'd all sit down to the waltons style family

meal...and main topic of conversation would be NADAs day at work ...lurid

details of all her cases (she was a court psychologist special report writer for

abuse/custody cases involving abuse)who did what to who and blah bllah blah we

had to sit and listen to all this uglyness while trying to eat. We'd get asked

to comment on what we thought, my dad would chip in with little jokes about the

cases. It was sick-making. We knew far too much ugly stuff that was all seasoned

in with our 'childhood'. She'd leave lurid textbooks lying out on topics of

ritualistic/cult type wierdo stuff as well,

and these people call themselves professionals????

How come they can't ever see what theyre doing, what's going on in their own

families? and everyone else sees them as the pillars of the community, renowned

and respected? It makes me sick.

-

>

> >

> >

> > Spooky!

> > it seems so obvious when you all point it out!

> > years of practice making excuses for her means I am trying to see her side

> > even in this!

> > We thought it was just a bizarre way to try and control us by setting it up

> > to prove her ridicuous cancer theory, HOWEVER! I have also remembered she

> > left a brand new white plastic bucket, toilet brush and cleaning sponge in

> > the bathroom that we found when we got home from the airport. still wrapped

> > in their plastic from the store...she had said in the morning that she was

> > " sorry she had wanted to clean the bathroom for me to try and help but she

> > was just so busy she ran out of time " ...don't exactly know what she did that

> > she was too busy for 2 whole months except to sit on the couch or stay in

> > bed all day and give me jobs to do!!!!!!

> > then we come home from the airport to see the green towels and the cleaning

> > bucket - big hint to clean the bathroom - so yes it looks as if she

> > signalled a big arrow / wanted me to clean up so i could find the hidden

> > poo...

> > very bizarre

> > and actually I had cleaned the bathroom religiously while they were here as

> > Dad recently had bowel cancer and I wanted to make sure everything was good

> > for him post-op...

> >

> > did i mention NADA is a renowned behavioural child psychologist

> > specialising in child abuse (prevention ?!!!) !!!

> > rebecca

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

OMG your nada fixated on horrible details of things that happened to others

too?

My nada did that NON STOP!!! By the time I was about 3, I was scarred for

life by knowing the details of an object rape and also a train accident that

killed a baby.

I talked to my T about this, and she said this is the sign of a psychopath -

that she enjoys, savors and delights in other people's hardship.

Truely fucked up.

>

>

> HOlly

> So weird ! About your dad.It seems to happen alot doesn't it?

> It makes me scared to EVER go visit any so-called 'professionals' - I will

> keep my gorgeous son away from the 'fruit and nut brigade' as a dear friend

> calls all shrinks & quacks!

>

> NADA the child psychologist - She actually pioneered an anti-bullying in

> schools program up and down the country and was on TV blah blah blah - good

> for her the BIG BULLY!!!!

>

> I have sickening memories of mealtimes during adolescence - i would get the

> dinner ready for the family, we'd all sit down to the waltons style family

> meal...and main topic of conversation would be NADAs day at work ...lurid

> details of all her cases (she was a court psychologist special report writer

> for abuse/custody cases involving abuse)who did what to who and blah bllah

> blah we had to sit and listen to all this uglyness while trying to eat. We'd

> get asked to comment on what we thought, my dad would chip in with little

> jokes about the cases. It was sick-making. We knew far too much ugly stuff

> that was all seasoned in with our 'childhood'. She'd leave lurid textbooks

> lying out on topics of ritualistic/cult type wierdo stuff as well,

>

> and these people call themselves professionals????

>

> How come they can't ever see what theyre doing, what's going on in their

> own families? and everyone else sees them as the pillars of the community,

> renowned and respected? It makes me sick.

> -

>

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Spooky!

> > > it seems so obvious when you all point it out!

> > > years of practice making excuses for her means I am trying to see her

> side

> > > even in this!

> > > We thought it was just a bizarre way to try and control us by setting

> it up

> > > to prove her ridicuous cancer theory, HOWEVER! I have also remembered

> she

> > > left a brand new white plastic bucket, toilet brush and cleaning sponge

> in

> > > the bathroom that we found when we got home from the airport. still

> wrapped

> > > in their plastic from the store...she had said in the morning that she

> was

> > > " sorry she had wanted to clean the bathroom for me to try and help but

> she

> > > was just so busy she ran out of time " ...don't exactly know what she did

> that

> > > she was too busy for 2 whole months except to sit on the couch or stay

> in

> > > bed all day and give me jobs to do!!!!!!

> > > then we come home from the airport to see the green towels and the

> cleaning

> > > bucket - big hint to clean the bathroom - so yes it looks as if she

> > > signalled a big arrow / wanted me to clean up so i could find the

> hidden

> > > poo...

> > > very bizarre

> > > and actually I had cleaned the bathroom religiously while they were

> here as

> > > Dad recently had bowel cancer and I wanted to make sure everything was

> good

> > > for him post-op...

> > >

> > > did i mention NADA is a renowned behavioural child psychologist

> > > specialising in child abuse (prevention ?!!!) !!!

> > > rebecca

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Hey that is gross for you, truly truly gross.

Thing is , at the age of 3, 4, 5, 10, 15...if someone had come along and asked

us to go for adoption do you think we would have actually done it?

I used to dream my NADA would die ( and feel super guilty about it) so then I

used to fantasize about getting adopted!

I have difficulty understanding how a BPD person manages to control all the ugly

behaviour so that the outsiders don't see what they do. Surely that is behaviour

management ie, they are in control not mentally incapable, so they should be

bloody well held to ransom for their badness.....grrrrrr!

[Guest guest]

my fantasy was always that my parents would split and my dad would get

custody.

My nada DID NOT behave well around others. I just think the muggle community

I grew up with chose to ignore her or made assumptions that she was strange

but not dangerous.

>

>

> Hey that is gross for you, truly truly gross.

> Thing is , at the age of 3, 4, 5, 10, 15...if someone had come along and

> asked us to go for adoption do you think we would have actually done it?

> I used to dream my NADA would die ( and feel super guilty about it) so then

> I used to fantasize about getting adopted!

>

> I have difficulty understanding how a BPD person manages to control all the

> ugly behaviour so that the outsiders don't see what they do. Surely that is

> behaviour management ie, they are in control not mentally incapable, so they

> should be bloody well held to ransom for their badness.....grrrrrr!

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The part I find the most morbidly fascinating *and* repellent is that it would

appear that nada actually *modeled* the fresh feces into a perfect little sphere

before secreting it on the high shelf. I mean, how often does one product a

perfectly spherical poo naturally? That means she had to actually *handle* and

*mold* the feces to make it that size and shape.

Wow.

That took *planning.*

I mean, while I find the sudden, dramatic, impulsive acts of borderline pd

scary, I think I find this carefully planned, hostile, revenge-type behavior to

be even more chillingly terrifying.

Your nada had to patiently wait for a time to do this when she wouldn't be

discovered; she had to wait for a " deposit " to arrive, then fish it out and mold

it, and then find a step-stool or chair to reach her strategically-selected

hiding place, then clean up after herself, then begin carefully inserting little

remarks about the " cancer smell in there " in conversations with you and your

husband.

Just... wow. Both clever and sadistic at the same time. And actually stealing

your property, your books, is right beside it indicating that nada is swimming

in the deep end of the crazy pool, as well.

Scary stuff, mental illness. And yet, fascinating.

-Annie

>

> Hey Mia! No stress! ABsolutely no problemo at all!!!LOL!

> i didn't take your mail the wrong way - actually it was really good as you

made me think logically about it all, and if I hadn't done that then by now I

would have excused it all away and told myself it didn't really happen! And gone

back into FOG and probably be handmaking NADA some gorgeous GO HOME gift to show

daughterly love or something equally silly...You did me a favour!

>

> Besides, everyone on this board might (because we have gone thru similar

experiences) be totally biased and supportive to each other even in the face of

crushing damning evidence - so I actually was saying to my husband at the time -

" see - here's one who is being objective! "

>

> also because everyone is saying how more-than-bizarre Nada's behaviour is is

very reassuring to me as i guess that I always viewed her in the past as just

slightly off balance but nothing too major - i 'm so used to all the antics!

LOL!

>

> SO finally, after all these years, I have a real concrete incident to prove to

myself she is NUTS. All the other stuff she did was very sneaky and behind

closed doors and easier to explain away, as there were no witnesses and the FOO

all monkeys etc.

>

> Thanks to everyone at all times who has and will take the time to share

comments! It's ALL good!

>

> I might even have dredge up a few more funny stories to share if I can handle

this online thing long term!!!!

>

>

[Guest guest]

I personally think this chameleon-type behavior is shading over into

psychopathy.

High-functioning psychopaths have the ability to wear the " mask of sanity " and

even the mask of charm and appeal in public, while doing heinous things in

private. Its that creepy " Jekyll and Hyde " quality taken to the extreme.

Several of the more well-known serial killers were able to charm their way into

well-respected public-service-type jobs and were admired as " pillars of their

community " , like Ted Bundy and the BTK killer.

You might want to read the book " The Sociopath Next Door " which is about those

" garden variety " psychopaths who don't make the nightly news, but who do that

very thing of seeming to be nice, normal people in public but who do sickeningly

nasty, destructive, reprehensible things to their families, their neighbors,

their co-workers or to strangers in private.

-Annie

>

> HOlly

> So weird ! About your dad.It seems to happen alot doesn't it?

> It makes me scared to EVER go visit any so-called 'professionals' - I will

keep my gorgeous son away from the 'fruit and nut brigade' as a dear friend

calls all shrinks & quacks!

>

> NADA the child psychologist - She actually pioneered an anti-bullying in

schools program up and down the country and was on TV blah blah blah - good for

her the BIG BULLY!!!!

>

> I have sickening memories of mealtimes during adolescence - i would get the

dinner ready for the family, we'd all sit down to the waltons style family

meal...and main topic of conversation would be NADAs day at work ...lurid

details of all her cases (she was a court psychologist special report writer for

abuse/custody cases involving abuse)who did what to who and blah bllah blah we

had to sit and listen to all this uglyness while trying to eat. We'd get asked

to comment on what we thought, my dad would chip in with little jokes about the

cases. It was sick-making. We knew far too much ugly stuff that was all seasoned

in with our 'childhood'. She'd leave lurid textbooks lying out on topics of

ritualistic/cult type wierdo stuff as well,

>

> and these people call themselves professionals????

>

> How come they can't ever see what theyre doing, what's going on in their own

families? and everyone else sees them as the pillars of the community, renowned

and respected? It makes me sick.

> -

[Guest guest]

Do you think she wore gloves? Surgical or dish washing?

On Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 5:35 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I personally think this chameleon-type behavior is shading over into

> psychopathy.

>

> High-functioning psychopaths have the ability to wear the " mask of sanity "

> and even the mask of charm and appeal in public, while doing heinous things

> in private. Its that creepy " Jekyll and Hyde " quality taken to the extreme.

>

> Several of the more well-known serial killers were able to charm their way

> into well-respected public-service-type jobs and were admired as " pillars of

> their community " , like Ted Bundy and the BTK killer.

>

> You might want to read the book " The Sociopath Next Door " which is about

> those " garden variety " psychopaths who don't make the nightly news, but who

> do that very thing of seeming to be nice, normal people in public but who do

> sickeningly nasty, destructive, reprehensible things to their families,

> their neighbors, their co-workers or to strangers in private.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > HOlly

> > So weird ! About your dad.It seems to happen alot doesn't it?

> > It makes me scared to EVER go visit any so-called 'professionals' - I

> will keep my gorgeous son away from the 'fruit and nut brigade' as a dear

> friend calls all shrinks & quacks!

> >

> > NADA the child psychologist - She actually pioneered an anti-bullying in

> schools program up and down the country and was on TV blah blah blah - good

> for her the BIG BULLY!!!!

> >

> > I have sickening memories of mealtimes during adolescence - i would get

> the dinner ready for the family, we'd all sit down to the waltons style

> family meal...and main topic of conversation would be NADAs day at work

> ...lurid details of all her cases (she was a court psychologist special

> report writer for abuse/custody cases involving abuse)who did what to who

> and blah bllah blah we had to sit and listen to all this uglyness while

> trying to eat. We'd get asked to comment on what we thought, my dad would

> chip in with little jokes about the cases. It was sick-making. We knew far

> too much ugly stuff that was all seasoned in with our 'childhood'. She'd

> leave lurid textbooks lying out on topics of ritualistic/cult type wierdo

> stuff as well,

> >

> > and these people call themselves professionals????

> >

> > How come they can't ever see what theyre doing, what's going on in their

> own families? and everyone else sees them as the pillars of the community,

> renowned and respected? It makes me sick.

> > -

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My nada also loved to relish in other peoples' misfortunes. Interesting,

that just tends to support my theory that she has antisocial and/or

psychopathic tendencies as well. yikes.

Annie, I also thought about the " planning " and the " act " involved in the

" perfect sphere of poo " ... I quickly shot that out of my mind. Yes, I'm a

nursing student. Yes, I help people clean up when they cannot do it

themselves. But to... play in it? Um, no thanks. How truly foul!

Poor 's whole ordeal is just too insane for insanity! And the fact

that she's a psychologist? OY VEY! Reminds me of fiance's likely uBPD ex

wife who's also a psych major. I can only hope she fails out and she likely

will at this rate... or she'll just barely get through and screw up a whole

lot of people. UGH. Or maybe not.. you know, the whole thing they seem to

have with keeping up with the ' so to speak. Just makes me want to

vomit. But to be fair, they can't all be crazy? lol. I really like my T.

I am also strangely fascinated with 's incident as well...

particularly that very foul thing that was done. I am wondering just what

kind of crazy it is. Like Annie said, it's horrifying & fascinating all at

once. And with my love of neurology, well, psych kind of goes hand in hand

with that and now I am interested in researching this!

Also kind of interested in it because of something that happened to fiance.

He is a custodian at a high school. Each of the guys have their own

sections of the school they take care of, and fiance kept going into one of

the bathrooms he had to clean and finding that someone had... ahem... and

spread it all over the walls. It happened over & over, probably 10 times or

so. He kept complaining to his boss and finally they put them all on shifts

to check the bathroom every 15 minutes. They did catch the kid and he was

obviously in big trouble, but I can't help but wonder what is up with that

kid... why would he do that? He's high school age. Most kids with that

sort of issue are younger.

Fiance would text me and say, " the shit bandit has struck again " and I'd

just cringe. I thought about that kid reading 's experience. I

wonder if he's getting some help. Sure hope so.

I'm also glad you're not upset, . I think I responded the way I did

because if I had been in your shoes, I would have second guessed myself and

probably would have done what you did and try to find out if it really was

poo!

Mia

On Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 8:30 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@...

> wrote:

> Do you think she wore gloves? Surgical or dish washing?

>

> On Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 5:35 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > I personally think this chameleon-type behavior is shading over into

> > psychopathy.

> >

> > High-functioning psychopaths have the ability to wear the " mask of

> sanity "

> > and even the mask of charm and appeal in public, while doing heinous

> things

> > in private. Its that creepy " Jekyll and Hyde " quality taken to the

> extreme.

> >

> > Several of the more well-known serial killers were able to charm their

> way

> > into well-respected public-service-type jobs and were admired as " pillars

> of

> > their community " , like Ted Bundy and the BTK killer.

> >

> > You might want to read the book " The Sociopath Next Door " which is about

> > those " garden variety " psychopaths who don't make the nightly news, but

> who

> > do that very thing of seeming to be nice, normal people in public but who

> do

> > sickeningly nasty, destructive, reprehensible things to their families,

> > their neighbors, their co-workers or to strangers in private.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> > >

> > > HOlly

> > > So weird ! About your dad.It seems to happen alot doesn't it?

> > > It makes me scared to EVER go visit any so-called 'professionals' - I

> > will keep my gorgeous son away from the 'fruit and nut brigade' as a dear

> > friend calls all shrinks & quacks!

> > >

> > > NADA the child psychologist - She actually pioneered an anti-bullying

> in

> > schools program up and down the country and was on TV blah blah blah -

> good

> > for her the BIG BULLY!!!!

> > >

> > > I have sickening memories of mealtimes during adolescence - i would get

> > the dinner ready for the family, we'd all sit down to the waltons style

> > family meal...and main topic of conversation would be NADAs day at work

> > ...lurid details of all her cases (she was a court psychologist special

> > report writer for abuse/custody cases involving abuse)who did what to who

> > and blah bllah blah we had to sit and listen to all this uglyness while

> > trying to eat. We'd get asked to comment on what we thought, my dad would

> > chip in with little jokes about the cases. It was sick-making. We knew

> far

> > too much ugly stuff that was all seasoned in with our 'childhood'. She'd

> > leave lurid textbooks lying out on topics of ritualistic/cult type wierdo

> > stuff as well,

> > >

> > > and these people call themselves professionals????

> > >

> > > How come they can't ever see what theyre doing, what's going on in

> their

> > own families? and everyone else sees them as the pillars of the

> community,

> > renowned and respected? It makes me sick.

> > > -

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

One of the most disturbed people I know is a licensed psychiatric social worker,

who, thank goodness, decided after only a few years practicing her profession

she didn't like being an MSW and doesn't work any longer. So, yes, it really

can happen that seriously mentally ill people can become therapists,

psychologists, etc., unfortunately. I hope it is rare.

I've been reading more about these feces-smearing, feces-hiding and

feces-flinging behaviors and it would seem to come from a very primitive,

infantile or even pre-human part of the mind/brain, and is meant to convey

extremely hostile feelings.

Its like... the worst thing a toddler or a chimp could imagine doing to you if

he hates you and wants to totally degrade and shame you. Its that primitive.

-Annie

>

> My nada also loved to relish in other peoples' misfortunes. Interesting,

> that just tends to support my theory that she has antisocial and/or

> psychopathic tendencies as well. yikes.

>

> Annie, I also thought about the " planning " and the " act " involved in the

> " perfect sphere of poo " ... I quickly shot that out of my mind. Yes, I'm a

> nursing student. Yes, I help people clean up when they cannot do it

> themselves. But to... play in it? Um, no thanks. How truly foul!

>

> Poor 's whole ordeal is just too insane for insanity! And the fact

> that she's a psychologist? OY VEY! Reminds me of fiance's likely uBPD ex

> wife who's also a psych major. I can only hope she fails out and she likely

> will at this rate... or she'll just barely get through and screw up a whole

> lot of people. UGH. Or maybe not.. you know, the whole thing they seem to

> have with keeping up with the ' so to speak. Just makes me want to

> vomit. But to be fair, they can't all be crazy? lol. I really like my T.

>

> I am also strangely fascinated with 's incident as well...

> particularly that very foul thing that was done. I am wondering just what

> kind of crazy it is. Like Annie said, it's horrifying & fascinating all at

> once. And with my love of neurology, well, psych kind of goes hand in hand

> with that and now I am interested in researching this!

>

> Also kind of interested in it because of something that happened to fiance.

> He is a custodian at a high school. Each of the guys have their own

> sections of the school they take care of, and fiance kept going into one of

> the bathrooms he had to clean and finding that someone had... ahem... and

> spread it all over the walls. It happened over & over, probably 10 times or

> so. He kept complaining to his boss and finally they put them all on shifts

> to check the bathroom every 15 minutes. They did catch the kid and he was

> obviously in big trouble, but I can't help but wonder what is up with that

> kid... why would he do that? He's high school age. Most kids with that

> sort of issue are younger.

>

> Fiance would text me and say, " the shit bandit has struck again " and I'd

> just cringe. I thought about that kid reading 's experience. I

> wonder if he's getting some help. Sure hope so.

>

> I'm also glad you're not upset, . I think I responded the way I did

> because if I had been in your shoes, I would have second guessed myself and

> probably would have done what you did and try to find out if it really was

> poo!

>

> Mia

[Guest guest]

>

> One of the most disturbed people I know is a licensed psychiatric social

worker, who, thank goodness, decided after only a few years practicing her

profession she didn't like being an MSW and doesn't work any longer. So, yes,

it really can happen that seriously mentally ill people can become therapists,

psychologists, etc., unfortunately. I hope it is rare.

>

>

Annie, talking about mental health professional sometimes being mentally ill.

I've had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that works over the years, but one

of the best told me that out of her graduating class of 40-something that she

only thought about 3 of them were fit to treat her cat. That may sound like

she's was a little high on herself, but she really was a good therapist and told

me that other therapists often sent her their borderlines they couldn't handle.

Her assurance that I was not given she treated many of them was a great

assurance to me.

In a weird way I think the ill who become mental health workers are seeking

healing for themselves. Maybe that even works out sometimes for certain

problems....in other cases though, scary.

[Guest guest]

Annie, what did you look under for the poo flinging/hiding info? I wanted to

read about it too, but I was afraid of what I might see if I googled it ha

ha.

>

>

>

> >

> > One of the most disturbed people I know is a licensed psychiatric social

> worker, who, thank goodness, decided after only a few years practicing her

> profession she didn't like being an MSW and doesn't work any longer. So,

> yes, it really can happen that seriously mentally ill people can become

> therapists, psychologists, etc., unfortunately. I hope it is rare.

> >

> >

>

> Annie, talking about mental health professional sometimes being mentally

> ill. I've had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that works over the

> years, but one of the best told me that out of her graduating class of

> 40-something that she only thought about 3 of them were fit to treat her

> cat. That may sound like she's was a little high on herself, but she really

> was a good therapist and told me that other therapists often sent her their

> borderlines they couldn't handle. Her assurance that I was not given she

> treated many of them was a great assurance to me.

>

> In a weird way I think the ill who become mental health workers are seeking

> healing for themselves. Maybe that even works out sometimes for certain

> problems....in other cases though, scary.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Y'all remember the problem I told you about with the teenage neighbors and the

girl I believed to be either a psychopath or bipolar or borderline a few weeks

back?

Well they are long gone. But the landlady- neighbor told us that when she went

in to check the place while they still had stuff there but were not living there

(they fled in the night for some strange reason) it smelled really foul.

She searched for the source of the odor and finally found cat feces smeared all

over the bedroom closet walls and floor.

No cat in the world smears it's poo on a wall.

Sent from my blueberry.

> I've been reading more about these feces-smearing, feces-hiding and

feces-flinging behaviors and it would seem to come from a very primitive,

infantile or even pre-human part of the mind/brain, and is meant to convey

extremely hostile feelings.

>

> Its like... the worst thing a toddler or a chimp could imagine doing to you if

he hates you and wants to totally degrade and shame you. Its that primitive.

[Guest guest]

Google " anger, feces hiding " , " schizophrenia, feces smearing " , " mental

retardation, feces smearing " and you'll find articles/pdfs about it RE

adults/older kids/teens. " Feces flinging " will get you mostly articles about

monkeys. " Feces hiding " or " voluntary encopresis " results are almost entirely

about the activity RE toddler and young child development; as these are

parenting- and child-development sites I notice they avoid mentioning

" schizophrenia " and instead use terms like " psychological disturbances " or

" oppositional defiant disorder " instead.

-Annie

> > >

> > > One of the most disturbed people I know is a licensed psychiatric social

> > worker, who, thank goodness, decided after only a few years practicing her

> > profession she didn't like being an MSW and doesn't work any longer. So,

> > yes, it really can happen that seriously mentally ill people can become

> > therapists, psychologists, etc., unfortunately. I hope it is rare.

> > >

> > >

> >

> > Annie, talking about mental health professional sometimes being mentally

> > ill. I've had a lot of trouble finding a therapist that works over the

> > years, but one of the best told me that out of her graduating class of

> > 40-something that she only thought about 3 of them were fit to treat her

> > cat. That may sound like she's was a little high on herself, but she really

> > was a good therapist and told me that other therapists often sent her their

> > borderlines they couldn't handle. Her assurance that I was not given she

> > treated many of them was a great assurance to me.

> >

> > In a weird way I think the ill who become mental health workers are seeking

> > healing for themselves. Maybe that even works out sometimes for certain

> > problems....in other cases though, scary.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Talk about 4 seasons in one day...

The poo story...at first I thought it was eccentric, yukky, not essentially

harmful, then it became bizarre, hilarious and ridiculous, actually I am getting

super freaked out as it has taken on a sinister more horrifying interpretation.

So what it seems you are all confirming is way worse than I realised...I thought

my NADA just did not love me as she was too odd, sick or unhappy to love anyone

properly or maybe it was a personality clash or something still in the normal

spectrum...I mean what's a bit of dried up old poo between friends...(?!)

now it seems by your group reactions that she positive actively openly hates me

in a psychotic sadistic gleeful avengeful kind of way...?

I really cannot handle thinking that I was actively hated.

It all seemed the norm to me while growing up.

It is bringing up all kinds of other bad stuff. I fear becoming the freakshow

story on this board...WHAT THEN EH?

[Guest guest]

Freakshow - omygosh has anyone ever heard that song by ani difranco - that's

my ballad for my family. An old boyfriend described my retelling of a

family party as a freakshow and now it is forever and ever and ever my

official song.

And yes, I think she did hate you as a poo flinging monkey hates her target.

My nada hates me too. But she loves to hate me because it gives her the

chance to play the victim. No matter what I do, she will twist it to make me

the villain.So I just do what suits me.

I'm sorry xoxo

>

>

> Talk about 4 seasons in one day...

>

> The poo story...at first I thought it was eccentric, yukky, not essentially

> harmful, then it became bizarre, hilarious and ridiculous, actually I am

> getting super freaked out as it has taken on a sinister more horrifying

> interpretation.

>

> So what it seems you are all confirming is way worse than I realised...I

> thought my NADA just did not love me as she was too odd, sick or unhappy to

> love anyone properly or maybe it was a personality clash or something still

> in the normal spectrum...I mean what's a bit of dried up old poo between

> friends...(?!)

> now it seems by your group reactions that she positive actively openly

> hates me in a psychotic sadistic gleeful avengeful kind of way...?

>

> I really cannot handle thinking that I was actively hated.

> It all seemed the norm to me while growing up.

>

> It is bringing up all kinds of other bad stuff. I fear becoming the

> freakshow story on this board...WHAT THEN EH?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

No, you're not unique. There are at least a couple of us who had nadas with a

clear streak of sadistic, cruel behavior, probably based on jealousy, envy,

resentment, hatred, or just being freaking psychotic and totally unfit to be

raising a child.

One woman who used to post here more regularly had a nada who actually tried to

kill her on more than one occasion. Did things like leave her as a little 2 or

3 year old alone in a play-park blocks away to make her own way home. Tried to

drown her as a toddler. Forced her to spend time with another, clearly

disturbed child who tried to kill her and who probably did kill another child.

Mine was obsessed with me having any sexual thoughts or sexual curiosity and she

traumatized me severely when I was about 4 or 5 by committing something like a

" rape by proxy " against me while calling me vile names and telling me I was

deformed and repulsive. I think that's the incident that broke my will, and I

became totally enmeshed with her for decades afterward.

So, no, you are not the only one here raised by someone severely mentally ill,

dear. I'm sorry if you felt singled out.

-Annie

>

> Talk about 4 seasons in one day...

>

> The poo story...at first I thought it was eccentric, yukky, not essentially

harmful, then it became bizarre, hilarious and ridiculous, actually I am getting

super freaked out as it has taken on a sinister more horrifying interpretation.

>

> So what it seems you are all confirming is way worse than I realised...I

thought my NADA just did not love me as she was too odd, sick or unhappy to love

anyone properly or maybe it was a personality clash or something still in the

normal spectrum...I mean what's a bit of dried up old poo between friends...(?!)

> now it seems by your group reactions that she positive actively openly hates

me in a psychotic sadistic gleeful avengeful kind of way...?

>

> I really cannot handle thinking that I was actively hated.

> It all seemed the norm to me while growing up.

>

> It is bringing up all kinds of other bad stuff. I fear becoming the freakshow

story on this board...WHAT THEN EH?

>

[Guest guest]

Annie

thanks so much.

Despite actually nearly vomiting what you wrote was so freaking awful, I feel

more at home!

I figure, you know, it's starting to talk about stuff after it all being trapped

for decades, it comes out and then I feel panic as its out of the box and i

can't stuff it back in again. Been trained to not talk about anything from

inside the family.

Thanks again,

> >

> > Talk about 4 seasons in one day...

> >

> > The poo story...at first I thought it was eccentric, yukky, not essentially

harmful, then it became bizarre, hilarious and ridiculous, actually I am getting

super freaked out as it has taken on a sinister more horrifying interpretation.

> >

> > So what it seems you are all confirming is way worse than I realised...I

thought my NADA just did not love me as she was too odd, sick or unhappy to love

anyone properly or maybe it was a personality clash or something still in the

normal spectrum...I mean what's a bit of dried up old poo between friends...(?!)

> > now it seems by your group reactions that she positive actively openly hates

me in a psychotic sadistic gleeful avengeful kind of way...?

> >

> > I really cannot handle thinking that I was actively hated.

> > It all seemed the norm to me while growing up.

> >

> > It is bringing up all kinds of other bad stuff. I fear becoming the

freakshow story on this board...WHAT THEN EH?

> >

>

[Guest guest]

RG, now I feel bad for referring to your situation in my post about my own...I

hope you don't feel I was talking of it in a freak show way. My nada has done

some weird things and many have shared extreme circumstances on this board.

Some things are too shameful for me to bring myself to talk about even after

years on this board. You aren't alone at all.

Annie, I'm so very sorry to read about what your nada did to you. It's a wonder

you were ever willing to have anything to do with her. I hope you always keep a

safe distance from her for you emotional/mental wellbeing. They say living well

is the best revenge.

[Guest guest]

Oh my goodness, you sure are NOT a freakshow! You expressed soemthing

bizarre that your nada did to you, you didn't do it. IMO, your nada is the

FREAKSHOW! It is SO not your fault hon. Not at all.

I can't say for sure if she hates you per say, but I also can't say if she

loves you. Nadas are weird like that.

I hope you will realize you are not a freak, not in the least bit. You told

us a story of what happened, that is all. Doesn't make you crazy or a freak

or whatever.

*HUGS*

Mia

>

>

> Talk about 4 seasons in one day...

>

> The poo story...at first I thought it was eccentric, yukky, not essentially

> harmful, then it became bizarre, hilarious and ridiculous, actually I am

> getting super freaked out as it has taken on a sinister more horrifying

> interpretation.

>

> So what it seems you are all confirming is way worse than I realised...I

> thought my NADA just did not love me as she was too odd, sick or unhappy to

> love anyone properly or maybe it was a personality clash or something still

> in the normal spectrum...I mean what's a bit of dried up old poo between

> friends...(?!)

> now it seems by your group reactions that she positive actively openly

> hates me in a psychotic sadistic gleeful avengeful kind of way...?

>

> I really cannot handle thinking that I was actively hated.

> It all seemed the norm to me while growing up.

>

> It is bringing up all kinds of other bad stuff. I fear becoming the

> freakshow story on this board...WHAT THEN EH?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi

I don't know if this helps but I can relate to alot of what you've

been saying here about your nada.I can also relate very much to how troubling

and distressing it is to take on board that her behavior towards you was or is

motivated by actual hatred.It sounds to me like your nada is very jealous of

you,also in spite of public accomplishments that would seem to suggest

otherwise,she has a very primitive personality.My nada was also quite

accomplished in her sphere,a spokesperson for children even--and I'm sure nobody

who " knows " her or " knew " her in that professional capacity would ever believe

the truly bizarre things she did at home or how insanely abusive she was to me.

I've shared stories here on this message board about the things nada

did to me that are quite extreme ( I think I might have been the person Annie

was thinking of in her post to you) and I have received tremendous support from

the members here but have also wondered at times if my experiences with nada are

too far out in to " freakshow " territory---so I think I understand your reaction

to the feedback you've gotten.Some of us here,like me and I can think of a few

others,have nadas who could have been certified as " criminally insane " --but all

of us are here because we had/have a nada (or fada or both) and we've all had

our unfair share of weird and wrong from our PD parents.You're among people here

who " get it " and you are not alone.

It took me many months to accept the reality of just how bad nada truly was

to me (in my case nada was murderous,plus she basically prostituted me from the

age of five to punish me for existing) and there were times I really didn't

think I could handle *knowing*; that it was literally too much for my mind to

conceive of.With the kind support of this group and work with my therapist (who

is an expert in trauma issues) I have been able to come out on the other side of

the horrible anxiety and anguish I was feeling.I was very freaked out by what I

was realizing--and even that is an understatement.The difference is like night

and day,between how much stronger and clearer I feel now (like I've returned to

myself) and how terrified I was before of accepting how profoundly mentally ill

my nada is.And the implications of that,for me,as her daughter.Many layers of

implications and consequences.

It's not an easy road.Coming to terms with what having a nada means is a

process for all of us.We're here to support one another on the journey and this

is a safe place to express our reactions to the feedback we get here when we

share our stories and experiences.You can only take it all in at your own

pace,whatever that is.And whatever that is,is fine.Just go at your own pace.

I'm glad you're here (but sorry you needed to find us) and I guess this

post is also a belated welcome to the group.Welcome!I've been busy with work and

off board healing so I haven't been around as much lately but just know that

whatever pace you need to go,you've found a place here of

understanding.Understanding,most of all,that none of this is easy.

Our nadas behave out of their own sense of helplessness,even when their

actions seem (or actually are) calculated to harm.We aren't helpless in the way

that they are--we aren't afflicted in the way that they are.We can heal.

Take care,

>

> Talk about 4 seasons in one day...

>

> The poo story...at first I thought it was eccentric, yukky, not essentially

harmful, then it became bizarre, hilarious and ridiculous, actually I am getting

super freaked out as it has taken on a sinister more horrifying interpretation.

>

> So what it seems you are all confirming is way worse than I realised...I

thought my NADA just did not love me as she was too odd, sick or unhappy to love

anyone properly or maybe it was a personality clash or something still in the

normal spectrum...I mean what's a bit of dried up old poo between friends...(?!)

> now it seems by your group reactions that she positive actively openly hates

me in a psychotic sadistic gleeful avengeful kind of way...?

>

> I really cannot handle thinking that I was actively hated.

> It all seemed the norm to me while growing up.

>

> It is bringing up all kinds of other bad stuff. I fear becoming the freakshow

story on this board...WHAT THEN EH?

>

[Guest guest]

Fixated is a great word to describe this, my nada does that too. Talked about

the hardship of others - and when I didn't climb on board her bandwagon, I was

labeled as " selfish " . She's thrives on being the bearer of bad news and is

quick to report the lastest obituary reports.

Last year I worked out of state for 4 months. She called me only twice. One of

those two times was to tell me that her neighbor, who hadn't spoken to her for a

decade, had died. I think she literally gets a high from this behavior.

To learn this is the behavior of a psychopath is validating. Thanx.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 5:48:08 PM

Subject: Re: Re: Is this gaslighting? -warning - ODD and

LONG POST!

OMG your nada fixated on horrible details of things that happened to others

too?

My nada did that NON STOP!!! By the time I was about 3, I was scarred for

life by knowing the details of an object rape and also a train accident that

killed a baby.

I talked to my T about this, and she said this is the sign of a psychopath -

that she enjoys, savors and delights in other people's hardship.

Truely fucked up.

>

>

> HOlly

> So weird ! About your dad.It seems to happen alot doesn't it?

> It makes me scared to EVER go visit any so-called 'professionals' - I will

> keep my gorgeous son away from the 'fruit and nut brigade' as a dear friend

> calls all shrinks & quacks!

>

> NADA the child psychologist - She actually pioneered an anti-bullying in

> schools program up and down the country and was on TV blah blah blah - good

> for her the BIG BULLY!!!!

>

> I have sickening memories of mealtimes during adolescence - i would get the

> dinner ready for the family, we'd all sit down to the waltons style family

> meal...and main topic of conversation would be NADAs day at work ...lurid

> details of all her cases (she was a court psychologist special report writer

> for abuse/custody cases involving abuse)who did what to who and blah bllah

> blah we had to sit and listen to all this uglyness while trying to eat. We'd

> get asked to comment on what we thought, my dad would chip in with little

> jokes about the cases. It was sick-making. We knew far too much ugly stuff

> that was all seasoned in with our 'childhood'. She'd leave lurid textbooks

> lying out on topics of ritualistic/cult type wierdo stuff as well,

>

> and these people call themselves professionals????

>

> How come they can't ever see what theyre doing, what's going on in their

> own families? and everyone else sees them as the pillars of the community,

> renowned and respected? It makes me sick.

> -

>

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Spooky!

> > > it seems so obvious when you all point it out!

> > > years of practice making excuses for her means I am trying to see her

> side

> > > even in this!

> > > We thought it was just a bizarre way to try and control us by setting

> it up

> > > to prove her ridicuous cancer theory, HOWEVER! I have also remembered

> she

> > > left a brand new white plastic bucket, toilet brush and cleaning sponge

> in

> > > the bathroom that we found when we got home from the airport. still

> wrapped

> > > in their plastic from the store...she had said in the morning that she

> was

> > > " sorry she had wanted to clean the bathroom for me to try and help but

> she

> > > was just so busy she ran out of time " ...don't exactly know what she did

> that

> > > she was too busy for 2 whole months except to sit on the couch or stay

> in

> > > bed all day and give me jobs to do!!!!!!

> > > then we come home from the airport to see the green towels and the

> cleaning

> > > bucket - big hint to clean the bathroom - so yes it looks as if she

> > > signalled a big arrow / wanted me to clean up so i could find the

> hidden

> > > poo...

> > > very bizarre

> > > and actually I had cleaned the bathroom religiously while they were

> here as

> > > Dad recently had bowel cancer and I wanted to make sure everything was

> good

> > > for him post-op...

> > >

> > > did i mention NADA is a renowned behavioural child psychologist

> > > specialising in child abuse (prevention ?!!!) !!!

> > > rebecca

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I use to hope my parents would get killed in a car crash so I could go live with

my grandmother. But I didn't feel all that guilty about it. I also

contemplated running away at the age of 11 or 12, but I was so afraid of what

nada would do to me if she found me that I never tried. Instead I waited until

I graduated from HS, then I moved 1000 miles away and refused to get a telephone

so she couldn't call to harass me.

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wed, March 2, 2011 6:05:49 PM

Subject: Re: Is this gaslighting? -warning - ODD and LONG

POST!

Hey that is gross for you, truly truly gross.

Thing is , at the age of 3, 4, 5, 10, 15...if someone had come along and asked

us to go for adoption do you think we would have actually done it?

I used to dream my NADA would die ( and feel super guilty about it) so then I

used to fantasize about getting adopted!

I have difficulty understanding how a BPD person manages to control all the ugly

behaviour so that the outsiders don't see what they do. Surely that is behaviour

management ie, they are in control not mentally incapable, so they should be

bloody well held to ransom for their badness.....grrrrrr!