Nada Almost Blew This Sky High

March 2, 2011

Nada almost blew going home sky high.

She is incapable of standing or walking without assistance (before she was in

the hospice care center she couldn't even do that without THREE people holding

her frail, emaciated body up). But now with help of one person can get up and

go from a chair to the bed. She still is considered a candidate for a nursing

home as she is a threat to herself now because she is making very poor decisions

about her care etc. and is incapable of taking care of herself. She has a very

short time left to live according to all her nurses and doctors as all of you

who have been following this story know. She has internal bleeding so badly

that she had lost 1/2 of her hemoglobin (red blood cells) and it was down to 5

and should have been 12 to 16 in a normal woman depending on age and size I

would imagine as well as congestive heart failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high

blood pressure AND arthritis.

Anyway she called me last night before I went to bed to tell me she was NOT

paying $44 a day for help and her 'doctor' (a Dr. Coletinni who was my

STEPFATHER'S kidney specialist 15 YEARS ago and died himself over 5 years ago I

understand) wouldn't allow them to put her in a nursing home. I told her that if

she didn't allow help in to take care of her she would be going to a nursing

home and yes they COULD push it. But before she hung up last night asked me what

time she was going home and I told her at 2:30 PM. That's the truth of course

and it almost happened to my now ex-mother-in-law and father-in-law who weren't

as bad off physically as my nada. She was a BPD too as well as dry drunk as I

call it (never went to AA but had other addictions in place of it in her last

years of knowing her). The state social worker for the Elder Abuse and Neglect

program did talk to me at the time telling me that and above my

ex-mother-in-law's objections accepted a live-in so I know they can do it and

will. Anyway nada does NOT want to go to a nursing home she always maintained

and wants to die at home so 'Eddie can find her and take her with him' (my

stepfather who passed in 2006). I couldn't sleep all night worrying about it as

I could see everything I had worked this last week which is what she wanted,

going up in smoke as well as lingering for YEARS in a nursing home despite her

conditions at the cost of $4,900 a week versus $44 a day.

She told the nurse who was on last night that she was afraid to go home but just

missed Eddie and wanted to be with him. She will get her wish and I hope it's

soon.

She called me first thing this morning and told me in a very weak voice that her

body is shot and I reassured her everything would be fine when she went home as

I had worked very hard along with her neighbors to see that was done. She

sounded like a child and I was now HER mother.

I am hoping against hope that the worst is over now and things will be fine with

no more of major problems.

I was even thinking of having her found mentally incompetent but a big part of

me doesn't want to do that because she is dying and I wouldn't want that done to

me if I were her. Funny how they over rode her the other day and got her a

blood transfusion and she was yelling NO (I could hear her when the nurse was

talking to me on her cell phone outside her room) but they won't consider me

Power of Attorney in anything else it seems (though I am in charge of her

medical AND financial). I almost said, 'do as my mother wishes' and she'd be

dead now if she hadn't had that done but I was afraid the state would find me

unfit to be her Power of Attorney if I did that and if she were dead it wouldn't

matter but I didn't want to be responsible for her death.

Thanks all for reading yet another blog from me about nada.

March 2, 2011

Oh geez I'm sorry.

Honestly, it sounds like staying at home without help most of the time is

going to be very rough on her. Maybe she will change her mind after a few

days.

>

> Nada almost blew going home sky high.

>

> She is incapable of standing or walking without assistance (before she was

> in the hospice care center she couldn't even do that without THREE people

> holding her frail, emaciated body up). But now with help of one person can

> get up and go from a chair to the bed. She still is considered a candidate

> for a nursing home as she is a threat to herself now because she is making

> very poor decisions about her care etc. and is incapable of taking care of

> herself. She has a very short time left to live according to all her nurses

> and doctors as all of you who have been following this story know. She has

> internal bleeding so badly that she had lost 1/2 of her hemoglobin (red

> blood cells) and it was down to 5 and should have been 12 to 16 in a normal

> woman depending on age and size I would imagine as well as congestive heart

> failure, uncontrolled diabetes, high blood pressure AND arthritis.

>

> Anyway she called me last night before I went to bed to tell me she was NOT

> paying $44 a day for help and her 'doctor' (a Dr. Coletinni who was my

> STEPFATHER'S kidney specialist 15 YEARS ago and died himself over 5 years

> ago I understand) wouldn't allow them to put her in a nursing home. I told

> her that if she didn't allow help in to take care of her she would be going

> to a nursing home and yes they COULD push it. But before she hung up last

> night asked me what time she was going home and I told her at 2:30 PM.

> That's the truth of course and it almost happened to my now ex-mother-in-law

> and father-in-law who weren't as bad off physically as my nada. She was a

> BPD too as well as dry drunk as I call it (never went to AA but had other

> addictions in place of it in her last years of knowing her). The state

> social worker for the Elder Abuse and Neglect program did talk to me at the

> time telling me that and above my ex-mother-in-law's objections accepted a

> live-in so I know they can do it and will. Anyway nada does NOT want to go

> to a nursing home she always maintained and wants to die at home so 'Eddie

> can find her and take her with him' (my stepfather who passed in 2006). I

> couldn't sleep all night worrying about it as I could see everything I had

> worked this last week which is what she wanted, going up in smoke as well as

> lingering for YEARS in a nursing home despite her conditions at the cost of

> $4,900 a week versus $44 a day.

>

> She told the nurse who was on last night that she was afraid to go home but

> just missed Eddie and wanted to be with him. She will get her wish and I

> hope it's soon.

>

> She called me first thing this morning and told me in a very weak voice

> that her body is shot and I reassured her everything would be fine when she

> went home as I had worked very hard along with her neighbors to see that was

> done. She sounded like a child and I was now HER mother.

>

> I am hoping against hope that the worst is over now and things will be fine

> with no more of major problems.

>

> I was even thinking of having her found mentally incompetent but a big part

> of me doesn't want to do that because she is dying and I wouldn't want that

> done to me if I were her. Funny how they over rode her the other day and got

> her a blood transfusion and she was yelling NO (I could hear her when the

> nurse was talking to me on her cell phone outside her room) but they won't

> consider me Power of Attorney in anything else it seems (though I am in

> charge of her medical AND financial). I almost said, 'do as my mother

> wishes' and she'd be dead now if she hadn't had that done but I was afraid

> the state would find me unfit to be her Power of Attorney if I did that and

> if she were dead it wouldn't matter but I didn't want to be responsible for

> her death.

>

> Thanks all for reading yet another blog from me about nada.

>

March 2, 2011

Romantic Libra, oh how I feel your pain! Hospice probably decided today (I

haven't heard yet) that my nada no longer meets criteria for their services. As

you very much know, Medicare makes the criteria, and Hospice has to " prove "

through documentation, that the client meets it. Well, i guess my mom is no

longer " dying " in the tightest sense of the word, so come March 12th, she will

no longer have Hospice in the home. And to top that off, the care-provider

called me today to tell me she actually hit my mom, after my mom pushed her

buttons like crazy. I believe she is going to quit! That means the burden of

this horrid woman falls back on me and I don't want it. I have my own health

issues as does my sister who is waiting a spinal tap to see whether she has MS.

We are not going to find another care-provider for nada because we have warned

her that if any of them quit, because of her nastiness, that would be it. Well,

it looks like that may happen. Nada REFUSES to go to a nursing home. Every

doctor, every nurse, every social worker, every friend, every family member has

told her that's where she needs to be, but no, she won't budge. Actually the

home she is living in, belongs to my sister and maybe my sister just needs to

put it up for sale. It's a bloody, huge mess right now and boy am I stressing.

And that's why I said, " I feel your pain.

Annie 2

>

> Nada almost blew going home sky high.

>

> She is incapable of standing or walking without assistance (before she was in