Guest guest Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 So one of the things I've been working on in therapy and in my research is - why did my nada abuse me. I was reading about that this morning and the reason hit me like a ton of bricks. She did it because she enjoyed it. I could see it on her face, the way her eyes sparkled when she was in her abuse zone. She liked the power trip, she felt the need to dominate me because I am female and she liked seeing me suffer and enjoyed my hurt, confused reaction. She did it because she liked it. And that makes me ill. Wow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 ((((Girlscout)))) That's a really awful thing to have to realize and take in. It sounds like your nada was one of those with some psychopathy thrown in. I hope you give yourself TONS of credit for surviving that and going on to live a good life and care about others. > > So one of the things I've been working on in therapy and in my research is - > why did my nada abuse me. > > I was reading about that this morning and the reason hit me like a ton of > bricks. > > She did it because she enjoyed it. I could see it on her face, the way her > eyes sparkled when she was in her abuse zone. She liked the power trip, she > felt the need to dominate me because I am female and she liked seeing me > suffer and enjoyed my hurt, confused reaction. > > She did it because she liked it. And that makes me ill. > > Wow > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 Thank you xoxo > > > ((((Girlscout)))) That's a really awful thing to have to realize and take > in. It sounds like your nada was one of those with some psychopathy thrown > in. I hope you give yourself TONS of credit for surviving that and going on > to live a good life and care about others. > > > > > > > > > So one of the things I've been working on in therapy and in my research > is - > > why did my nada abuse me. > > > > I was reading about that this morning and the reason hit me like a ton of > > bricks. > > > > She did it because she enjoyed it. I could see it on her face, the way > her > > eyes sparkled when she was in her abuse zone. She liked the power trip, > she > > felt the need to dominate me because I am female and she liked seeing me > > suffer and enjoyed my hurt, confused reaction. > > > > She did it because she liked it. And that makes me ill. > > > > Wow > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 3, 2011 Report Share Posted March 3, 2011 ((((Girlscout)))) My nada was like this too.Actually in many ways so was fada.It's pathetic,truly pathetic: to get a thrill from hurting a defenseless child--and your own at that.They are,in that sense,the most abjectly weak of all bullies.It takes a real weakling to pick on a little child. I've thought of that,now that my nada is old: So,your big " achievement " in this life was tearing your daughter down at a time when she couldn't fight back,something that she really had a knack for at the time.She did it because she *could* and like your nada because she enjoyed it--it made her feel good.Both of our nadas need to go back to the swamp and evolve!!!!!!!!!! We are infinitely stronger than they can ever hope to be,having spent their lives now nursing what must surely be the most sinful of all " false pride " and " vanity " : the pleasure they derived from feeling " big " at our expense.In the end,they are moral dwarfs. Isn't it wonderful though that we continued to grow? You have a bright future ahead of you that issues from your *own* decency and talent,that is yours and is something your nada could never have and couldn't take from you.She made the wrong choices: she elected to remain small and petty by indulging herself in a power trip.You made the right ones: you want to attain your true height.You have so much to be rightfully proud of about *you* :-) Myself,I'm proud of the fact that I am *not* my mother's daughter. > > So one of the things I've been working on in therapy and in my research is - > why did my nada abuse me. > > I was reading about that this morning and the reason hit me like a ton of > bricks. > > She did it because she enjoyed it. I could see it on her face, the way her > eyes sparkled when she was in her abuse zone. She liked the power trip, she > felt the need to dominate me because I am female and she liked seeing me > suffer and enjoyed my hurt, confused reaction. > > She did it because she liked it. And that makes me ill. > > Wow > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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