I Am Off Tomorrow to See Nada

[Guest guest]

I am off tomorrow to see nada. She is BACK in the hospice care center where she

was since last Wednesday because they insisted I get a live-in home health aide

as nada could not be left alone even if it WAS only at night. I had coverage

for her in the morning with hospice; her neighbors taking shifts at lunch time

and a home health aide to come in for two hours from 4:30 to 6:30 but this was

not acceptable when they got her home. My question is why didn't they know that

before they released her?!

Well after pulling my hair out with not receiving a phone call from the social

worker telling me that until 4:30 PM yesterday, I was told she also needed a

'land line' so that she could have a 'first alert' necklace work (even though

she is on hospice with a living will). She does not have to call 911 they said,

they can put in any #s she likes if she 'falls and can't get up' but she can't

even stand or walk without assistance so duh to that one.

I am now facing going there in 11 1/2 hours. I just got the two desserts made

for nada's birthday party Saturday (her 90th early) as I know I will most

likely never see her alive again. This is conjecture on the part of the doctors

who treat her as well as the hospice nurses and one of them says she could live

'up to six more months' but the doctors disagree. They feel since she had lost

4 pints of blood (her hemoglobin was only 5 and should be 12 to 14), that she

is bleeding internally and basically we are sending her home to die. She could

never withstand any operation for a stomach tumor which is what her primary

doctor thinks she has and it is not severe anemia because she was throwing up

blood off and on for four or five months and wouldn't call 911 or go to her

regular doctor about it because 'I don't trust any of them - they'll put me in a

nursing home if they know'. So she will need another blood transfusion the one

doctor told me on a weekly basis as her body for some reason is not making the

new blood cells like it should be. She also has too weak a heart and is in

congestive heart failure so she can't walk or stand without help as her feet and

legs are all swollen up with fluid and they can't 'keep the fluid from building

up'. There also is a problem with uncontrolled diabetes and her butt looks like

'raw hamburger' the one nurse said as she laid in her poop and pee unable to go

to the bathroom prior to winding up in the hospice care unit but of course being

several states away had NO idea how bad off she really was (though I told her

to go to the doctor way before she did but she kept telling me it was 'her body'

and 'you're a stupid KID! What do YOU know?!') I am 60 years old and not a kid

first of all nor am I stupid.

Anyway I face an unsure situation there with nada. The neighbor who visited her

all morning today told me she 'only said one derogatory thing about you' but

wouldn't tell me what it was and she told her I was doing 'the best I could

possibly do to arrange everything for her' and nada of course didn't acknowledge

her remark that I was putting 8 to 12 hour days working on getting everything

they wanted done; talking to two doctors; social workers; nurses; neighbors;

Merry Maids; a phone company etc. I don't want praise from nada but I don't

want to be blamed for putting her in there or for her needing the live-in

(though to Q Public she is being very agreeable). She told Becky the

neighbor to 'open a new account at her bank' with the HUGE basket of silver

dollars etc. that she had in her house and added " all this will be Marilyn's

when I go anyway " . I could have used that $ given she is paying the live-in

$160 a day X 7 days a week but I don't think she will live more than another two

weeks (though the agency said I had to pay the woman for another week when I

was letting her go so she had time to find another job).

I am hoping against hope that things go well. Please pray or think of me as I

face either the witch/bitch nada or the waif nada.

[Guest guest]

(((Marilyn))) You will be in my thoughts.I hope it all goes alright.I can only

imagine how difficult all of this must be for you.I understand why your nada's

words and behavior made it impossible for you to go down there until

now.Remember we're here for you.

Take good care,

>

> I am off tomorrow to see nada. She is BACK in the hospice care center where

she was since last Wednesday because they insisted I get a live-in home health

aide as nada could not be left alone even if it WAS only at night. I had

coverage for her in the morning with hospice; her neighbors taking shifts at

lunch time and a home health aide to come in for two hours from 4:30 to 6:30 but

this was not acceptable when they got her home. My question is why didn't they

know that before they released her?!

>

> Well after pulling my hair out with not receiving a phone call from the social

worker telling me that until 4:30 PM yesterday, I was told she also needed a

'land line' so that she could have a 'first alert' necklace work (even though

she is on hospice with a living will). She does not have to call 911 they said,

they can put in any #s she likes if she 'falls and can't get up' but she can't

even stand or walk without assistance so duh to that one.

>

> I am now facing going there in 11 1/2 hours. I just got the two desserts made

for nada's birthday party Saturday (her 90th early) as I know I will most

likely never see her alive again. This is conjecture on the part of the doctors

who treat her as well as the hospice nurses and one of them says she could live

'up to six more months' but the doctors disagree. They feel since she had lost

4 pints of blood (her hemoglobin was only 5 and should be 12 to 14), that she

is bleeding internally and basically we are sending her home to die. She could

never withstand any operation for a stomach tumor which is what her primary

doctor thinks she has and it is not severe anemia because she was throwing up

blood off and on for four or five months and wouldn't call 911 or go to her

regular doctor about it because 'I don't trust any of them - they'll put me in a

nursing home if they know'. So she will need another blood transfusion the one

doctor told me on a weekly basis as her body for some reason is not making the

new blood cells like it should be. She also has too weak a heart and is in

congestive heart failure so she can't walk or stand without help as her feet and

legs are all swollen up with fluid and they can't 'keep the fluid from building

up'. There also is a problem with uncontrolled diabetes and her butt looks like

'raw hamburger' the one nurse said as she laid in her poop and pee unable to go

to the bathroom prior to winding up in the hospice care unit but of course being

several states away had NO idea how bad off she really was (though I told her

to go to the doctor way before she did but she kept telling me it was 'her body'

and 'you're a stupid KID! What do YOU know?!') I am 60 years old and not a kid

first of all nor am I stupid.

>

> Anyway I face an unsure situation there with nada. The neighbor who visited

her all morning today told me she 'only said one derogatory thing about you' but

wouldn't tell me what it was and she told her I was doing 'the best I could

possibly do to arrange everything for her' and nada of course didn't acknowledge

her remark that I was putting 8 to 12 hour days working on getting everything

they wanted done; talking to two doctors; social workers; nurses; neighbors;

Merry Maids; a phone company etc. I don't want praise from nada but I don't

want to be blamed for putting her in there or for her needing the live-in

(though to Q Public she is being very agreeable). She told Becky the

neighbor to 'open a new account at her bank' with the HUGE basket of silver

dollars etc. that she had in her house and added " all this will be Marilyn's

when I go anyway " . I could have used that $ given she is paying the live-in

$160 a day X 7 days a week but I don't think she will live more than another two

weeks (though the agency said I had to pay the woman for another week when I

was letting her go so she had time to find another job).

>

> I am hoping against hope that things go well. Please pray or think of me as I

face either the witch/bitch nada or the waif nada.

>

[Guest guest]

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you well. What an incredibly difficult

ordeal you are enduring. I hope that your nada will go as peacefully and easily

as possible, and as soon as possible. I don't often go to that place in my

heart or mind, but in some cases, when a person is in severe, intractable pain

(whether its emotional or physical) and is terminal, I wish for them to have an

easy and swift end of life. Your nada is suffering, AND she is causing and has

caused great suffering to you, her child; so I hope that the suffering will be

over soon.

Keep in touch with us when you can.

-Annie

>

> I am off tomorrow to see nada. She is BACK in the hospice care center where

she was since last Wednesday because they insisted I get a live-in home health

aide as nada could not be left alone even if it WAS only at night. I had

coverage for her in the morning with hospice; her neighbors taking shifts at

lunch time and a home health aide to come in for two hours from 4:30 to 6:30 but

this was not acceptable when they got her home. My question is why didn't they

know that before they released her?!

>

> Well after pulling my hair out with not receiving a phone call from the social

worker telling me that until 4:30 PM yesterday, I was told she also needed a

'land line' so that she could have a 'first alert' necklace work (even though

she is on hospice with a living will). She does not have to call 911 they said,

they can put in any #s she likes if she 'falls and can't get up' but she can't

even stand or walk without assistance so duh to that one.

>

> I am now facing going there in 11 1/2 hours. I just got the two desserts made

for nada's birthday party Saturday (her 90th early) as I know I will most

likely never see her alive again. This is conjecture on the part of the doctors

who treat her as well as the hospice nurses and one of them says she could live

'up to six more months' but the doctors disagree. They feel since she had lost

4 pints of blood (her hemoglobin was only 5 and should be 12 to 14), that she

is bleeding internally and basically we are sending her home to die. She could

never withstand any operation for a stomach tumor which is what her primary

doctor thinks she has and it is not severe anemia because she was throwing up

blood off and on for four or five months and wouldn't call 911 or go to her

regular doctor about it because 'I don't trust any of them - they'll put me in a

nursing home if they know'. So she will need another blood transfusion the one

doctor told me on a weekly basis as her body for some reason is not making the

new blood cells like it should be. She also has too weak a heart and is in

congestive heart failure so she can't walk or stand without help as her feet and

legs are all swollen up with fluid and they can't 'keep the fluid from building

up'. There also is a problem with uncontrolled diabetes and her butt looks like

'raw hamburger' the one nurse said as she laid in her poop and pee unable to go

to the bathroom prior to winding up in the hospice care unit but of course being

several states away had NO idea how bad off she really was (though I told her

to go to the doctor way before she did but she kept telling me it was 'her body'

and 'you're a stupid KID! What do YOU know?!') I am 60 years old and not a kid

first of all nor am I stupid.

>

> Anyway I face an unsure situation there with nada. The neighbor who visited

her all morning today told me she 'only said one derogatory thing about you' but

wouldn't tell me what it was and she told her I was doing 'the best I could

possibly do to arrange everything for her' and nada of course didn't acknowledge

her remark that I was putting 8 to 12 hour days working on getting everything

they wanted done; talking to two doctors; social workers; nurses; neighbors;

Merry Maids; a phone company etc. I don't want praise from nada but I don't

want to be blamed for putting her in there or for her needing the live-in

(though to Q Public she is being very agreeable). She told Becky the

neighbor to 'open a new account at her bank' with the HUGE basket of silver

dollars etc. that she had in her house and added " all this will be Marilyn's

when I go anyway " . I could have used that $ given she is paying the live-in

$160 a day X 7 days a week but I don't think she will live more than another two

weeks (though the agency said I had to pay the woman for another week when I

was letting her go so she had time to find another job).

>

> I am hoping against hope that things go well. Please pray or think of me as I

face either the witch/bitch nada or the waif nada.

>

[Guest guest]

Romantic Libra, I am sending you good wishes and the strength to deal with your

nada. I hope for your sake that she doesn't linger on and on and on. That

wouldn't be a healthy situation for you. I wanted to let you know that Hospice

came over to my nada's to sign her out. My mom said, " Good! " Now, I have no

support for whatever happens. I am just beside myself. I am angry and I am

disgusted! I feel like I am being sucked right back into being a care provider

for a miserable old woman. I don't want to do it. I feel like emotionally I

can't do it. I am 60 tomorrow and have my own health issues as does my sister.

If my mom had been a decent mom, I would have no problem taking care of her. I

did for my wonderful dad when he was dying of bladder cancer. But, it's another

story with nada.

>

> I am off tomorrow to see nada. She is BACK in the hospice care center where

she was since last Wednesday because they insisted I get a live-in home health

aide as nada could not be left alone even if it WAS only at night. I had

coverage for her in the morning with hospice; her neighbors taking shifts at

lunch time and a home health aide to come in for two hours from 4:30 to 6:30 but

this was not acceptable when they got her home. My question is why didn't they

know that before they released her?!

>

> Well after pulling my hair out with not receiving a phone call from the social

worker telling me that until 4:30 PM yesterday, I was told she also needed a

'land line' so that she could have a 'first alert' necklace work (even though

she is on hospice with a living will). She does not have to call 911 they said,

they can put in any #s she likes if she 'falls and can't get up' but she can't

even stand or walk without assistance so duh to that one.

>

> I am now facing going there in 11 1/2 hours. I just got the two desserts made

for nada's birthday party Saturday (her 90th early) as I know I will most

likely never see her alive again. This is conjecture on the part of the doctors

who treat her as well as the hospice nurses and one of them says she could live

'up to six more months' but the doctors disagree. They feel since she had lost

4 pints of blood (her hemoglobin was only 5 and should be 12 to 14), that she

is bleeding internally and basically we are sending her home to die. She could

never withstand any operation for a stomach tumor which is what her primary

doctor thinks she has and it is not severe anemia because she was throwing up

blood off and on for four or five months and wouldn't call 911 or go to her

regular doctor about it because 'I don't trust any of them - they'll put me in a

nursing home if they know'. So she will need another blood transfusion the one

doctor told me on a weekly basis as her body for some reason is not making the

new blood cells like it should be. She also has too weak a heart and is in

congestive heart failure so she can't walk or stand without help as her feet and

legs are all swollen up with fluid and they can't 'keep the fluid from building

up'. There also is a problem with uncontrolled diabetes and her butt looks like

'raw hamburger' the one nurse said as she laid in her poop and pee unable to go

to the bathroom prior to winding up in the hospice care unit but of course being

several states away had NO idea how bad off she really was (though I told her

to go to the doctor way before she did but she kept telling me it was 'her body'

and 'you're a stupid KID! What do YOU know?!') I am 60 years old and not a kid

first of all nor am I stupid.

>

> Anyway I face an unsure situation there with nada. The neighbor who visited

her all morning today told me she 'only said one derogatory thing about you' but

wouldn't tell me what it was and she told her I was doing 'the best I could

possibly do to arrange everything for her' and nada of course didn't acknowledge

her remark that I was putting 8 to 12 hour days working on getting everything

they wanted done; talking to two doctors; social workers; nurses; neighbors;

Merry Maids; a phone company etc. I don't want praise from nada but I don't

want to be blamed for putting her in there or for her needing the live-in

(though to Q Public she is being very agreeable). She told Becky the

neighbor to 'open a new account at her bank' with the HUGE basket of silver

dollars etc. that she had in her house and added " all this will be Marilyn's

when I go anyway " . I could have used that $ given she is paying the live-in

$160 a day X 7 days a week but I don't think she will live more than another two

weeks (though the agency said I had to pay the woman for another week when I

was letting her go so she had time to find another job).

>

> I am hoping against hope that things go well. Please pray or think of me as I

face either the witch/bitch nada or the waif nada.

>

[Guest guest]

Many wishes of strength and peace to you Libra. I hope that your nada finally

feels free to let go of this mortal coil after she sees you - she could be

holding on to say goodbye.

Take care,

> >

> > I am off tomorrow to see nada. She is BACK in the hospice care center where

she was since last Wednesday because they insisted I get a live-in home health

aide as nada could not be left alone even if it WAS only at night. I had

coverage for her in the morning with hospice; her neighbors taking shifts at

lunch time and a home health aide to come in for two hours from 4:30 to 6:30 but

this was not acceptable when they got her home. My question is why didn't they

know that before they released her?!

> >

> > Well after pulling my hair out with not receiving a phone call from the

social worker telling me that until 4:30 PM yesterday, I was told she also

needed a 'land line' so that she could have a 'first alert' necklace work (even

though she is on hospice with a living will). She does not have to call 911

they said, they can put in any #s she likes if she 'falls and can't get up' but

she can't even stand or walk without assistance so duh to that one.

> >

> > I am now facing going there in 11 1/2 hours. I just got the two desserts

made for nada's birthday party Saturday (her 90th early) as I know I will most

likely never see her alive again. This is conjecture on the part of the doctors

who treat her as well as the hospice nurses and one of them says she could live

'up to six more months' but the doctors disagree. They feel since she had lost

4 pints of blood (her hemoglobin was only 5 and should be 12 to 14), that she

is bleeding internally and basically we are sending her home to die. She could

never withstand any operation for a stomach tumor which is what her primary

doctor thinks she has and it is not severe anemia because she was throwing up

blood off and on for four or five months and wouldn't call 911 or go to her

regular doctor about it because 'I don't trust any of them - they'll put me in a

nursing home if they know'. So she will need another blood transfusion the one

doctor told me on a weekly basis as her body for some reason is not making the

new blood cells like it should be. She also has too weak a heart and is in

congestive heart failure so she can't walk or stand without help as her feet and

legs are all swollen up with fluid and they can't 'keep the fluid from building

up'. There also is a problem with uncontrolled diabetes and her butt looks like

'raw hamburger' the one nurse said as she laid in her poop and pee unable to go

to the bathroom prior to winding up in the hospice care unit but of course being

several states away had NO idea how bad off she really was (though I told her

to go to the doctor way before she did but she kept telling me it was 'her body'

and 'you're a stupid KID! What do YOU know?!') I am 60 years old and not a kid

first of all nor am I stupid.

> >

> > Anyway I face an unsure situation there with nada. The neighbor who visited

her all morning today told me she 'only said one derogatory thing about you' but

wouldn't tell me what it was and she told her I was doing 'the best I could

possibly do to arrange everything for her' and nada of course didn't acknowledge

her remark that I was putting 8 to 12 hour days working on getting everything

they wanted done; talking to two doctors; social workers; nurses; neighbors;

Merry Maids; a phone company etc. I don't want praise from nada but I don't

want to be blamed for putting her in there or for her needing the live-in

(though to Q Public she is being very agreeable). She told Becky the

neighbor to 'open a new account at her bank' with the HUGE basket of silver

dollars etc. that she had in her house and added " all this will be Marilyn's

when I go anyway " . I could have used that $ given she is paying the live-in

$160 a day X 7 days a week but I don't think she will live more than another two

weeks (though the agency said I had to pay the woman for another week when I

was letting her go so she had time to find another job).

> >

> > I am hoping against hope that things go well. Please pray or think of me as

I face either the witch/bitch nada or the waif nada.

> >

>