Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 It's here - my day. 8 years NC. 8 years of living my own life. Essentially, today is my real birthday. How do I feel? To quote Simon and Garfunkel " I'm empty and aching and I dont' know why. " I feel lost and confused. I expected to feel triumphant. The self doubt, thoughts of self harm etc its creeping back in. . . I have an appt with T in a few hours. I don't even know what I'm going to say. But I think she'll say " tear soup, " her words for grief. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Happy Birthday to you Girlscout! Maybe your not feeling so great right now, but one does need to grieve in order to heal. ((((((((Girlscout)))))))) > > It's here - my day. 8 years NC. 8 years of living my own life. Essentially, > today is my real birthday. > > How do I feel? To quote Simon and Garfunkel " I'm empty and aching and I > dont' know why. " > > I feel lost and confused. I expected to feel triumphant. > > The self doubt, thoughts of self harm etc its creeping back in. . . I have > an appt with T in a few hours. I don't even know what I'm going to say. But > I think she'll say " tear soup, " her words for grief. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Take care of yourself today. Maybe that means grieving like Annie said. Don't beat up on yourself. > > It's here - my day. 8 years NC. 8 years of living my own life. Essentially, > today is my real birthday. > > How do I feel? To quote Simon and Garfunkel " I'm empty and aching and I > dont' know why. " > > I feel lost and confused. I expected to feel triumphant. > > The self doubt, thoughts of self harm etc its creeping back in. . . I have > an appt with T in a few hours. I don't even know what I'm going to say. But > I think she'll say " tear soup, " her words for grief. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Hugs, Girlscout! Tomorrow's a new day... > > It's here - my day. 8 years NC. 8 years of living my own life. Essentially, > today is my real birthday. > > How do I feel? To quote Simon and Garfunkel " I'm empty and aching and I > dont' know why. " > > I feel lost and confused. I expected to feel triumphant. > > The self doubt, thoughts of self harm etc its creeping back in. . . I have > an appt with T in a few hours. I don't even know what I'm going to say. But > I think she'll say " tear soup, " her words for grief. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Had kind of a rough day yesterday and I'm glad it's over. Started it off with a visit to T. I take the real Girlscout to my sessions - she's extremly important in my therapy. T spent about the first 20 min holding Scout and fussing over her and loving on her. It did me a WORLD of good to see that. Is that strange? Scout's my Id. . . so I guess that's the kind of help I need. It was fun to watch Scout's face and her response to the affection and to see the bond and trust she feels in my T. I feel all woo woo talking about that ha. Proceeded on to work where some projects went well and another that I'd invested at least 10 hours of my life in got completely called off and canceled. I told the client who canceled it that and she said " Why were you working on that anyway? " I'm like my GOD " Because YOU asked me to!!!!!! " Bitch slap! I guess I used my voice so that's good. And then proceeded to get very very sick at dinner. My injury from when the door hit me was very aggrivated due to sitting in my chair all day. I don't think i can go to work today, and I feel very guilty about it. I'm going to see if my chiropracter can put all my joints back in place instead. Funny that I feel guilty for missing work even though I got hurt AT WORK! And I'll sit in my ergonomic recliner and work all day anyway. . . The best part of the day was that boyfriend took me to my fav vintage shop and bought me a 1960s mod-style spring dress covered in poppies with velvet ribbons running down the side. I've never seen anything like it and YES I really do dress like that I know if I wear it to work I'll get teased. . .. but they tease me no matter what so there. > > > Hugs, Girlscout! > Tomorrow's a new day... > > > > > > > It's here - my day. 8 years NC. 8 years of living my own life. > Essentially, > > today is my real birthday. > > > > How do I feel? To quote Simon and Garfunkel " I'm empty and aching and I > > dont' know why. " > > > > I feel lost and confused. I expected to feel triumphant. > > > > The self doubt, thoughts of self harm etc its creeping back in. . . I > have > > an appt with T in a few hours. I don't even know what I'm going to say. > But > > I think she'll say " tear soup, " her words for grief. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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