Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Well, the PPO is off the table for now. Due to the original abuse occurring in another state and that I've only received one phone call, they can't/won't do it. They did give me tips as to what to do though. If another call comes in, anyone in the house can answer it, doesn't have to be me. Whomever answers is supposed to verify who is on the phone and then if it's nada or one of the flying monkies, say " <my real name> doesn't want any contact with you. Do not call here again. " If they call again, then I'm supposed to call the police. If they show up at my house, same thing, call the police. I'm from a big city area, and this area is not like that, it's much more laid back & safer. We don't usually lock up the house unless we're going to bed because someone's almost always home. I didn't even have a house key. But fiance's brother did, so I went and had copies made and have instructed everyone to take the key with them when they leave and lock up the house too. We also don't have a peep hole and it's difficult to see out of the window to see who's at the door. So for now, we are all going to say " who's there " before opening the door. When I was at the hardware store, the very nice gentleman helping me showed me the peep holes and they are easy to install. So I'm going to check with fiance's dad to see if I can install one. I live with 4 men, and I'm the handyman around here heh. I have a drill, just need the bit & the peep hole. I also picked up a can of pepper spray to keep on my key chain. Read the instructions throughly. The justice center where I went that works with women said I should let my school know what's going on too just to be on the safe side. If I worked, I'd have to let them know too. It's not considered stalking at this point. It's not even considered harassment yet. Gotta love it... no one will help until something bad happens. Such bull sh**. Oddly, if I had stayed in that state, I could file a PPO against nada since that's where the abuse occurred, but it would be difficult on grandnada since she lives in an entirely different state. UGH! Isn't this the UNITED States of America? And this day in age, it's so much easier to stalk or harass someone with the information one can obtain online. Frustrating. I'm also going to see if I can find any photos of the FOO to give the people I live with an idea of what they look like in case they do show up. I'm not very happy with this. Most people don't understand what it's like to be in this position, but I have to do what I can and if a case comes of it, then I'll take further steps. So far, no phone calls today. Everyone also knows to TELL ME if someone calls when I'm not here, to write the name, date & time, etc. I posted a note by the phone too with names of that part of my family as well. Again, no one should be calling me on that phone since I have my cell phone and that's the number I use for everything. God help me if they get that number... or show up at my door. Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's going on. Feel a little helpless right now, so I'm doing everything I can to help myself and take back the power. Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Sorry hon, hugs. They are just crawdads trying to drag you back into the stupid bucket. Smack them back down and they will forget about you for another few years. When my " sister inlaw " (who I have never met) started sending me harassing letters, I had the cops call her and tell her to stop. That worked pretty good. Will they do that? And any word from your T? I think she will help you reframe. I hope. They are just stupid crawdads. When my FOO acts up, I go back to my mantra which is from the movie Labrynith " You have no power over me. " And remember, when she says that, Bowie's world collapses? Say it 10 times fast! XOXO > > > Well, the PPO is off the table for now. Due to the original abuse occurring > in another state and that I've only received one phone call, they > can't/won't do it. They did give me tips as to what to do though. > > If another call comes in, anyone in the house can answer it, doesn't have > to > be me. Whomever answers is supposed to verify who is on the phone and then > if it's nada or one of the flying monkies, say " <my real name> doesn't want > any contact with you. Do not call here again. " If they call again, then I'm > supposed to call the police. > > If they show up at my house, same thing, call the police. I'm from a big > city area, and this area is not like that, it's much more laid back & > safer. > We don't usually lock up the house unless we're going to bed because > someone's almost always home. I didn't even have a house key. But fiance's > brother did, so I went and had copies made and have instructed everyone to > take the key with them when they leave and lock up the house too. We also > don't have a peep hole and it's difficult to see out of the window to see > who's at the door. So for now, we are all going to say " who's there " before > opening the door. When I was at the hardware store, the very nice gentleman > helping me showed me the peep holes and they are easy to install. So I'm > going to check with fiance's dad to see if I can install one. I live with 4 > men, and I'm the handyman around here heh. I have a drill, just need the > bit & the peep hole. > > I also picked up a can of pepper spray to keep on my key chain. Read the > instructions throughly. The justice center where I went that works with > women said I should let my school know what's going on too just to be on > the > safe side. If I worked, I'd have to let them know too. > > It's not considered stalking at this point. It's not even considered > harassment yet. Gotta love it... no one will help until something bad > happens. Such bull sh**. > > Oddly, if I had stayed in that state, I could file a PPO against nada since > that's where the abuse occurred, but it would be difficult on grandnada > since she lives in an entirely different state. UGH! Isn't this the UNITED > States of America? And this day in age, it's so much easier to stalk or > harass someone with the information one can obtain online. Frustrating. > > I'm also going to see if I can find any photos of the FOO to give the > people > I live with an idea of what they look like in case they do show up. > > I'm not very happy with this. Most people don't understand what it's like > to > be in this position, but I have to do what I can and if a case comes of it, > then I'll take further steps. So far, no phone calls today. Everyone also > knows to TELL ME if someone calls when I'm not here, to write the name, > date > & time, etc. I posted a note by the phone too with names of that part of my > family as well. Again, no one should be calling me on that phone since I > have my cell phone and that's the number I use for everything. God help me > if they get that number... or show up at my door. > > Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's going on. Feel a little helpless > right now, so I'm doing everything I can to help myself and take back the > power. > > Mia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Thanks Girlscout. Good mantra too, I like that movie. I did hear back from my T, talked to her. Feel a bit better and a tiny bit empowered since I did take action & got some stuff done today (keys, looked into installing peephole, and pepper spray, yikes). I'm not sure if the police will tell them to stop/stay away or not. Yes, they are like crawdads in the bucket trying to pull me back in. Not going to happen. Not going to be pulled in, hoovered, swindled, swayed, FOGed, manipulated, sucked in, or any other euphemism for getting back in touch with the abusive part of my FOO. Nope. I would obviously prefer them to just respect my wishes & stay the hell away, but I have to be prepared now, have to stay vigilant. And frankly, I'd rather die than end up in a relationship with those people. I know that sounds harsh, and no it's not a threat to myself in any way shape or form, but that is truly how I feel. NO THANK YOU! Life with them was no life at all. Mia On Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 2:45 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@... > wrote: > Sorry hon, hugs. They are just crawdads trying to drag you back into the > stupid bucket. Smack them back down and they will forget about you for > another few years. When my " sister inlaw " (who I have never met) started > sending me harassing letters, I had the cops call her and tell her to stop. > That worked pretty good. Will they do that? > > And any word from your T? I think she will help you reframe. I hope. They > are just stupid crawdads. When my FOO acts up, I go back to my mantra which > is from the movie Labrynith " You have no power over me. " And remember, when > she says that, Bowie's world collapses? Say it 10 times fast! > > XOXO > > > > > > > > > Well, the PPO is off the table for now. Due to the original abuse > occurring > > in another state and that I've only received one phone call, they > > can't/won't do it. They did give me tips as to what to do though. > > > > If another call comes in, anyone in the house can answer it, doesn't have > > to > > be me. Whomever answers is supposed to verify who is on the phone and > then > > if it's nada or one of the flying monkies, say " <my real name> doesn't > want > > any contact with you. Do not call here again. " If they call again, then > I'm > > supposed to call the police. > > > > If they show up at my house, same thing, call the police. I'm from a big > > city area, and this area is not like that, it's much more laid back & > > safer. > > We don't usually lock up the house unless we're going to bed because > > someone's almost always home. I didn't even have a house key. But > fiance's > > brother did, so I went and had copies made and have instructed everyone > to > > take the key with them when they leave and lock up the house too. We also > > don't have a peep hole and it's difficult to see out of the window to see > > who's at the door. So for now, we are all going to say " who's there " > before > > opening the door. When I was at the hardware store, the very nice > gentleman > > helping me showed me the peep holes and they are easy to install. So I'm > > going to check with fiance's dad to see if I can install one. I live with > 4 > > men, and I'm the handyman around here heh. I have a drill, just need the > > bit & the peep hole. > > > > I also picked up a can of pepper spray to keep on my key chain. Read the > > instructions throughly. The justice center where I went that works with > > women said I should let my school know what's going on too just to be on > > the > > safe side. If I worked, I'd have to let them know too. > > > > It's not considered stalking at this point. It's not even considered > > harassment yet. Gotta love it... no one will help until something bad > > happens. Such bull sh**. > > > > Oddly, if I had stayed in that state, I could file a PPO against nada > since > > that's where the abuse occurred, but it would be difficult on grandnada > > since she lives in an entirely different state. UGH! Isn't this the > UNITED > > States of America? And this day in age, it's so much easier to stalk or > > harass someone with the information one can obtain online. Frustrating. > > > > I'm also going to see if I can find any photos of the FOO to give the > > people > > I live with an idea of what they look like in case they do show up. > > > > I'm not very happy with this. Most people don't understand what it's like > > to > > be in this position, but I have to do what I can and if a case comes of > it, > > then I'll take further steps. So far, no phone calls today. Everyone also > > knows to TELL ME if someone calls when I'm not here, to write the name, > > date > > & time, etc. I posted a note by the phone too with names of that part of > my > > family as well. Again, no one should be calling me on that phone since I > > have my cell phone and that's the number I use for everything. God help > me > > if they get that number... or show up at my door. > > > > Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's going on. Feel a little > helpless > > right now, so I'm doing everything I can to help myself and take back the > > power. > > > > Mia > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Even if you can't get a PPO just now, and even if the police won't contact them on your behalf and tell them to stop, perhaps you could hire a lawyer to deliver your formal " Cease Contact Notice " letter personally to grandnada and nada and bpd sis on your behalf, and speak to them briefly about what the letter means: that any further attempts on their part at contact in any form with you will be considered harassment. Perhaps that option would work for you? -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > Well, the PPO is off the table for now. Due to the original abuse > > occurring > > > in another state and that I've only received one phone call, they > > > can't/won't do it. They did give me tips as to what to do though. > > > > > > If another call comes in, anyone in the house can answer it, doesn't have > > > to > > > be me. Whomever answers is supposed to verify who is on the phone and > > then > > > if it's nada or one of the flying monkies, say " <my real name> doesn't > > want > > > any contact with you. Do not call here again. " If they call again, then > > I'm > > > supposed to call the police. > > > > > > If they show up at my house, same thing, call the police. I'm from a big > > > city area, and this area is not like that, it's much more laid back & > > > safer. > > > We don't usually lock up the house unless we're going to bed because > > > someone's almost always home. I didn't even have a house key. But > > fiance's > > > brother did, so I went and had copies made and have instructed everyone > > to > > > take the key with them when they leave and lock up the house too. We also > > > don't have a peep hole and it's difficult to see out of the window to see > > > who's at the door. So for now, we are all going to say " who's there " > > before > > > opening the door. When I was at the hardware store, the very nice > > gentleman > > > helping me showed me the peep holes and they are easy to install. So I'm > > > going to check with fiance's dad to see if I can install one. I live with > > 4 > > > men, and I'm the handyman around here heh. I have a drill, just need the > > > bit & the peep hole. > > > > > > I also picked up a can of pepper spray to keep on my key chain. Read the > > > instructions throughly. The justice center where I went that works with > > > women said I should let my school know what's going on too just to be on > > > the > > > safe side. If I worked, I'd have to let them know too. > > > > > > It's not considered stalking at this point. It's not even considered > > > harassment yet. Gotta love it... no one will help until something bad > > > happens. Such bull sh**. > > > > > > Oddly, if I had stayed in that state, I could file a PPO against nada > > since > > > that's where the abuse occurred, but it would be difficult on grandnada > > > since she lives in an entirely different state. UGH! Isn't this the > > UNITED > > > States of America? And this day in age, it's so much easier to stalk or > > > harass someone with the information one can obtain online. Frustrating. > > > > > > I'm also going to see if I can find any photos of the FOO to give the > > > people > > > I live with an idea of what they look like in case they do show up. > > > > > > I'm not very happy with this. Most people don't understand what it's like > > > to > > > be in this position, but I have to do what I can and if a case comes of > > it, > > > then I'll take further steps. So far, no phone calls today. Everyone also > > > knows to TELL ME if someone calls when I'm not here, to write the name, > > > date > > > & time, etc. I posted a note by the phone too with names of that part of > > my > > > family as well. Again, no one should be calling me on that phone since I > > > have my cell phone and that's the number I use for everything. God help > > me > > > if they get that number... or show up at my door. > > > > > > Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's going on. Feel a little > > helpless > > > right now, so I'm doing everything I can to help myself and take back the > > > power. > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I'm with you - no contact ever again. It's amazing how viseral a response you can have to someone whose abuse was mainly verbal. I have the same feelings. Hugs. I like the lawyer idea. Or even a rent a cop. Someone in a uniform. Have you asked the cops to do it? It's a hard thing to ask, and they treated me like I was scum, but they did it. On Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 2:09 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > Even if you can't get a PPO just now, and even if the police won't contact > them on your behalf and tell them to stop, perhaps you could hire a lawyer > to deliver your formal " Cease Contact Notice " letter personally to grandnada > and nada and bpd sis on your behalf, and speak to them briefly about what > the letter means: that any further attempts on their part at contact in any > form with you will be considered harassment. Perhaps that option would work > for you? > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Well, the PPO is off the table for now. Due to the original abuse > > > occurring > > > > in another state and that I've only received one phone call, they > > > > can't/won't do it. They did give me tips as to what to do though. > > > > > > > > If another call comes in, anyone in the house can answer it, doesn't > have > > > > to > > > > be me. Whomever answers is supposed to verify who is on the phone and > > > then > > > > if it's nada or one of the flying monkies, say " <my real name> > doesn't > > > want > > > > any contact with you. Do not call here again. " If they call again, > then > > > I'm > > > > supposed to call the police. > > > > > > > > If they show up at my house, same thing, call the police. I'm from a > big > > > > city area, and this area is not like that, it's much more laid back & > > > > safer. > > > > We don't usually lock up the house unless we're going to bed because > > > > someone's almost always home. I didn't even have a house key. But > > > fiance's > > > > brother did, so I went and had copies made and have instructed > everyone > > > to > > > > take the key with them when they leave and lock up the house too. We > also > > > > don't have a peep hole and it's difficult to see out of the window to > see > > > > who's at the door. So for now, we are all going to say " who's there " > > > before > > > > opening the door. When I was at the hardware store, the very nice > > > gentleman > > > > helping me showed me the peep holes and they are easy to install. So > I'm > > > > going to check with fiance's dad to see if I can install one. I live > with > > > 4 > > > > men, and I'm the handyman around here heh. I have a drill, just need > the > > > > bit & the peep hole. > > > > > > > > I also picked up a can of pepper spray to keep on my key chain. Read > the > > > > instructions throughly. The justice center where I went that works > with > > > > women said I should let my school know what's going on too just to be > on > > > > the > > > > safe side. If I worked, I'd have to let them know too. > > > > > > > > It's not considered stalking at this point. It's not even considered > > > > harassment yet. Gotta love it... no one will help until something bad > > > > happens. Such bull sh**. > > > > > > > > Oddly, if I had stayed in that state, I could file a PPO against nada > > > since > > > > that's where the abuse occurred, but it would be difficult on > grandnada > > > > since she lives in an entirely different state. UGH! Isn't this the > > > UNITED > > > > States of America? And this day in age, it's so much easier to stalk > or > > > > harass someone with the information one can obtain online. > Frustrating. > > > > > > > > I'm also going to see if I can find any photos of the FOO to give the > > > > people > > > > I live with an idea of what they look like in case they do show up. > > > > > > > > I'm not very happy with this. Most people don't understand what it's > like > > > > to > > > > be in this position, but I have to do what I can and if a case comes > of > > > it, > > > > then I'll take further steps. So far, no phone calls today. Everyone > also > > > > knows to TELL ME if someone calls when I'm not here, to write the > name, > > > > date > > > > & time, etc. I posted a note by the phone too with names of that part > of > > > my > > > > family as well. Again, no one should be calling me on that phone > since I > > > > have my cell phone and that's the number I use for everything. God > help > > > me > > > > if they get that number... or show up at my door. > > > > > > > > Anyway, just wanted to let you know what's going on. Feel a little > > > helpless > > > > right now, so I'm doing everything I can to help myself and take back > the > > > > power. > > > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I don't know. It is hard and I'm sorry the police treated you badly when you asked them to do that, GS. That's not cool. ly, I'm not going to attempt to contact her in any way shape or form. If she calls back, well, I know what to say & do and the phone company will have a record of the calls, etc. No, I'm not going to make contact at this point. Mia On Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 4:27 PM, Girlscout Cowboy <girlscout.cowboy@... > wrote: > I'm with you - no contact ever again. It's amazing how viseral a response > you can have to someone whose abuse was mainly verbal. I have the same > feelings. Hugs. > > I like the lawyer idea. Or even a rent a cop. Someone in a uniform. Have > you > asked the cops to do it? It's a hard thing to ask, and they treated me like > I was scum, but they did it. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 U rock Mia!!!!! > > > I don't know. It is hard and I'm sorry the police treated you badly when > you > asked them to do that, GS. That's not cool. ly, I'm not going to > attempt to contact her in any way shape or form. If she calls back, well, I > know what to say & do and the phone company will have a record of the > calls, > etc. No, I'm not going to make contact at this point. > > Mia > > > On Mon, Mar 7, 2011 at 4:27 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < > girlscout.cowboy@... > > wrote: > > > I'm with you - no contact ever again. It's amazing how viseral a response > > you can have to someone whose abuse was mainly verbal. I have the same > > feelings. Hugs. > > > > I like the lawyer idea. Or even a rent a cop. Someone in a uniform. Have > > you > > asked the cops to do it? It's a hard thing to ask, and they treated me > like > > I was scum, but they did it. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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