Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 I am more and more convinced that my father is bpd. My mother died in 2007 and he remarried a few months later to this high maintenance woman. Long story short, my father 'wrote me off' back in January because I expressed major concerns over the real estate that belonged to my mother's mother and the way things look now, if my father dies, his new wife and kids are going to get the things that belonged to MY grandmother. He refuses to make a will and recently sold the house he and my mother had together (which, again, originally belonged to my mother's mother). The money went to his new house with his new wife. He also has had to go back to work after he had been a retired police officer. So he sends me this really pathetic text that was a forward --- you know, the whole, " if you love people send this to them " text. I text'd back and asked if it made him feel more guilt free to send that text to me since he wrote me off and he says he didn't write me off. Fine, whatever. I suppose saying he wrote me off doesn't equal actually writing me off. Then he texts... " you win. I was a sorry father then and am now but it won't matter soon. " Is this a veiled threat to suicide? What does this passive aggressive crap mean? So I asked him...'what does that mean?' he goes, 'read it how you want to. you'll believe what you want.' I didn't even respond. I just started crying like I always do. I just have come to the realization that I am completely orphaned and have no family. EVERYONE in my family is estranged and I seriously believe the whole freaking bunch of them has mental illness. Most of them are raging alcoholics. Sorry. I just had to vent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Hey , Geez, my nada pulls that BS all the time. You confront them about something and it turns into a pity party for them. Gotta love it. Now you're too blame. > > > I am more and more convinced that my father is bpd. My mother died in 2007 and he remarried a few months later to this high maintenance woman. Long story short, my father 'wrote me off' back in January because I expressed major concerns over the real estate that belonged to my mother's mother and the way things look now, if my father dies, his new wife and kids are going to get the things that belonged to MY grandmother. > > He refuses to make a will and recently sold the house he and my mother had together (which, again, originally belonged to my mother's mother). The money went to his new house with his new wife. > > He also has had to go back to work after he had been a retired police officer. > > So he sends me this really pathetic text that was a forward --- you know, the whole, " if you love people send this to them " text. I text'd back and asked if it made him feel more guilt free to send that text to me since he wrote me off and he says he didn't write me off. > Fine, whatever. I suppose saying he wrote me off doesn't equal actually writing me off. > > Then he texts... " you win. I was a sorry father then and am now but it won't matter soon. " > > Is this a veiled threat to suicide? > What does this passive aggressive crap mean? > > So I asked him...'what does that mean?' > > he goes, 'read it how you want to. you'll believe what you want.' > > I didn't even respond. I just started crying like I always do. I just have come to the realization that I am completely orphaned and have no family. EVERYONE in my family is estranged and I seriously believe the whole freaking bunch of them has mental illness. Most of them are raging alcoholics. > > Sorry. I just had to vent. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 7, 2011 Report Share Posted March 7, 2011 Was your mother BPD? A common pairing for BPDs are narcassists. Your father sounds like mine, its allll about the high maintenance wife. I have no delusions thinking that I will be in his will, or will see anything from the estate if my father dies. The two of them are inseperapble, them against the world that wishes them ill. *barf* I get crap from my father like that, and I ingore it, thinking of all the BS and hell he's put me through my entire life. > > > I am more and more convinced that my father is bpd. My mother died in 2007 and he remarried a few months later to this high maintenance woman. Long story short, my father 'wrote me off' back in January because I expressed major concerns over the real estate that belonged to my mother's mother and the way things look now, if my father dies, his new wife and kids are going to get the things that belonged to MY grandmother. > > He refuses to make a will and recently sold the house he and my mother had together (which, again, originally belonged to my mother's mother). The money went to his new house with his new wife. > > He also has had to go back to work after he had been a retired police officer. > > So he sends me this really pathetic text that was a forward --- you know, the whole, " if you love people send this to them " text. I text'd back and asked if it made him feel more guilt free to send that text to me since he wrote me off and he says he didn't write me off. > Fine, whatever. I suppose saying he wrote me off doesn't equal actually writing me off. > > Then he texts... " you win. I was a sorry father then and am now but it won't matter soon. " > > Is this a veiled threat to suicide? > What does this passive aggressive crap mean? > > So I asked him...'what does that mean?' > > he goes, 'read it how you want to. you'll believe what you want.' > > I didn't even respond. I just started crying like I always do. I just have come to the realization that I am completely orphaned and have no family. EVERYONE in my family is estranged and I seriously believe the whole freaking bunch of them has mental illness. Most of them are raging alcoholics. > > Sorry. I just had to vent. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 ((())) What an ordeal. I know how you feel; I was saying that to a friend last night, how it seems like I have NO family. Like yourself, it seems like we're all estranged and cut off from one another b/c of mental illness. Part of me would like reconciliation but a BIG part of me knows that's just magical thinking and that reconciliation means losing myself. So sorry for what you're going through, esp re: your grandmother's property. Would a lawyer be able to help? I don't know a thing about property laws, etc., and I'm sure you already thought about that... Hugs, Fiona > > > I am more and more convinced that my father is bpd. My mother died in 2007 and he remarried a few months later to this high maintenance woman. Long story short, my father 'wrote me off' back in January because I expressed major concerns over the real estate that belonged to my mother's mother and the way things look now, if my father dies, his new wife and kids are going to get the things that belonged to MY grandmother. > > He refuses to make a will and recently sold the house he and my mother had together (which, again, originally belonged to my mother's mother). The money went to his new house with his new wife. > > He also has had to go back to work after he had been a retired police officer. > > So he sends me this really pathetic text that was a forward --- you know, the whole, " if you love people send this to them " text. I text'd back and asked if it made him feel more guilt free to send that text to me since he wrote me off and he says he didn't write me off. > Fine, whatever. I suppose saying he wrote me off doesn't equal actually writing me off. > > Then he texts... " you win. I was a sorry father then and am now but it won't matter soon. " > > Is this a veiled threat to suicide? > What does this passive aggressive crap mean? > > So I asked him...'what does that mean?' > > he goes, 'read it how you want to. you'll believe what you want.' > > I didn't even respond. I just started crying like I always do. I just have come to the realization that I am completely orphaned and have no family. EVERYONE in my family is estranged and I seriously believe the whole freaking bunch of them has mental illness. Most of them are raging alcoholics. > > Sorry. I just had to vent. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I dont think the lawyer would take the case because it was my dad's homestead. My sister works for a real estate attorney and said there's nothing we can do. Thanks for support. Re: suffocating in this ((())) What an ordeal. I know how you feel; I was saying that to a friend last night, how it seems like I have NO family. Like yourself, it seems like we're all estranged and cut off from one another b/c of mental illness. Part of me would like reconciliation but a BIG part of me knows that's just magical thinking and that reconciliation means losing myself. So sorry for what you're going through, esp re: your grandmother's property. Would a lawyer be able to help? I don't know a thing about property laws, etc., and I'm sure you already thought about that... Hugs, Fiona > > > I am more and more convinced that my father is bpd. My mother died in 2007 and he remarried a few months later to this high maintenance woman. Long story short, my father 'wrote me off' back in January because I expressed major concerns over the real estate that belonged to my mother's mother and the way things look now, if my father dies, his new wife and kids are going to get the things that belonged to MY grandmother. > > He refuses to make a will and recently sold the house he and my mother had together (which, again, originally belonged to my mother's mother). The money went to his new house with his new wife. > > He also has had to go back to work after he had been a retired police officer. > > So he sends me this really pathetic text that was a forward --- you know, the whole, " if you love people send this to them " text. I text'd back and asked if it made him feel more guilt free to send that text to me since he wrote me off and he says he didn't write me off. > Fine, whatever. I suppose saying he wrote me off doesn't equal actually writing me off. > > Then he texts... " you win. I was a sorry father then and am now but it won't matter soon. " > > Is this a veiled threat to suicide? > What does this passive aggressive crap mean? > > So I asked him...'what does that mean?' > > he goes, 'read it how you want to. you'll believe what you want.' > > I didn't even respond. I just started crying like I always do. I just have come to the realization that I am completely orphaned and have no family. EVERYONE in my family is estranged and I seriously believe the whole freaking bunch of them has mental illness. Most of them are raging alcoholics. > > Sorry. I just had to vent. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 , I feel that way, too...that I have no family. Only, I think I feel better to be FREE of family. Looking back, it's all been bad. Even the things that seemed good when I was a little girl, I now look back at what they really were through adult eyes, or what the effect on me has been years later, and none of it was good. None of it. I am alone in the world, except for my husband, and he's 21 years older than me. But it is better to be alone than to be in the fucked up FOO. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 , I agree with . It's often better to be away from the poisoning FOO than to be in the middle of it all. My nada's whole side is estranged from me. Nada went on a grand distortion campaign. Your fada's texts sound classic borderline, or NPD. It's all about them and their needs and making comments that will send you flooding back into guilt. They'll say whatever they can to make you feel like it's your fault. You're right--it's all passive aggressive. My nada told me I should have felt guilty when she " attempted " suicide. Your fada could be a mix of BPD and NPD. There's usually a lot of overlap with BPs. BP is often coupled with another mental issue. It makes diagnosing them even more fun. - Cvidz > > > I am more and more convinced that my father is bpd. My mother died in 2007 and he remarried a few months later to this high maintenance woman. Long story short, my father 'wrote me off' back in January because I expressed major concerns over the real estate that belonged to my mother's mother and the way things look now, if my father dies, his new wife and kids are going to get the things that belonged to MY grandmother. > > He refuses to make a will and recently sold the house he and my mother had together (which, again, originally belonged to my mother's mother). The money went to his new house with his new wife. > > He also has had to go back to work after he had been a retired police officer. > > So he sends me this really pathetic text that was a forward --- you know, the whole, " if you love people send this to them " text. I text'd back and asked if it made him feel more guilt free to send that text to me since he wrote me off and he says he didn't write me off. > Fine, whatever. I suppose saying he wrote me off doesn't equal actually writing me off. > > Then he texts... " you win. I was a sorry father then and am now but it won't matter soon. " > > Is this a veiled threat to suicide? > What does this passive aggressive crap mean? > > So I asked him...'what does that mean?' > > he goes, 'read it how you want to. you'll believe what you want.' > > I didn't even respond. I just started crying like I always do. I just have come to the realization that I am completely orphaned and have no family. EVERYONE in my family is estranged and I seriously believe the whole freaking bunch of them has mental illness. Most of them are raging alcoholics. > > Sorry. I just had to vent. > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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