Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 In 2 days, I turn 36. 36 is the age my mother was when my brother was born. I was 10. He died after taking maybe one breath. She. . I don't know if she changed, I think its more like she froze. She stopped learning. She never progressed through the stages of grief. She got stuck, bitter and furiously angry. And she took her anger out on me. I'm kind of scared to turn 36. Umm, like really scared. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Such a bad memory for such a wonderful age. I loved being in my 30's - mature enough to make my own choices but still young enough to enjoy life without aches and pains. She had a life changing trauma in her life in that year. It doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. You are not your nada. That's something to celebrate right there. You are a special person with lots of tender feelings and you care about life, about others and about yourself. Be a rebel and do something weird on your birthday. Go Cosmic Bowling, eat something you've never tried before, hang out with a friend or two to distract you. You'll get through this and you'll wake up the next morning still being wonderful you. > > In 2 days, I turn 36. > > 36 is the age my mother was when my brother was born. I was 10. He died > after taking maybe one breath. She. . I don't know if she changed, I think > its more like she froze. She stopped learning. She never progressed through > the stages of grief. She got stuck, bitter and furiously angry. And she took > her anger out on me. > > I'm kind of scared to turn 36. Umm, like really scared. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Thank you, i needed that. I think I'm having a PTSD meltdown this week. Hugs guys. I will be so glad when this week is over. > > > Such a bad memory for such a wonderful age. I loved being in my 30's - > mature enough to make my own choices but still young enough to enjoy life > without aches and pains. She had a life changing trauma in her life in that > year. It doesn't mean the same thing will happen to you. You are not your > nada. That's something to celebrate right there. You are a special person > with lots of tender feelings and you care about life, about others and about > yourself. Be a rebel and do something weird on your birthday. Go Cosmic > Bowling, eat something you've never tried before, hang out with a friend or > two to distract you. You'll get through this and you'll wake up the next > morning still being wonderful you. > > > > > > > In 2 days, I turn 36. > > > > 36 is the age my mother was when my brother was born. I was 10. He died > > after taking maybe one breath. She. . I don't know if she changed, I > think > > its more like she froze. She stopped learning. She never progressed > through > > the stages of grief. She got stuck, bitter and furiously angry. And she > took > > her anger out on me. > > > > I'm kind of scared to turn 36. Umm, like really scared. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 I too have had echoes of fears related to being the same age as my mother at certain important points. I say make your birthday YOURS Girlscout! Go do things that say to yourself and the universe that you are your own woman and dissociate yourself from your mother's legacy and let this be your Independence Day! > > In 2 days, I turn 36. > > 36 is the age my mother was when my brother was born. I was 10. He died > after taking maybe one breath. She. . I don't know if she changed, I think > its more like she froze. She stopped learning. She never progressed through > the stages of grief. She got stuck, bitter and furiously angry. And she took > her anger out on me. > > I'm kind of scared to turn 36. Umm, like really scared. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 8, 2011 Report Share Posted March 8, 2011 Hey kiddo I turned 36 nearly 20 years ago. It is a self correcting condition. In a year you ll be 37. I doesnt hurt much, except the knees and sometimes the ass. But I digress. My mom had a little girl when I was about 14 months old. She lived less than a month. She had 2 other pregnancies, both of which resulted in delivering a dead baby. Mom also did not progress thru the stages of grief and come to cope with it and move on. By the way, that is called complicated grief. I ve been studying that and other things for some para professional counseling I do through our church. Mom would go on the days these kids were born, until the year she died, and stretch out on thier graves and sob. She had to be told " You have a living child, you need to get up and take care of him ( me). She never got past it. But I did. And I went thru the age she was when she lost all three of those kids, and passed on unscathed. I understand your fear. But your fear is not about your birthday, I think. Rather, it is a trigger for you to think of the beginnings of a nightmarish period of time with your mom/nada. It s ok. Nothing bad is going to happen because you turn 36. Peace. Relax. This fear will pass, and you ll still be here. Doug -- In WTOAdultChildren1 , Girlscout Cowboy wrote: > > In 2 days, I turn 36. > > 36 is the age my mother was when my brother was born. I was 10. He died > after taking maybe one breath. She. . I don't know if she changed, I think > its more like she froze. She stopped learning. She never progressed through > the stages of grief. She got stuck, bitter and furiously angry. And she took > her anger out on me. > > I'm kind of scared to turn 36. Umm, like really scared. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 9, 2011 Report Share Posted March 9, 2011 (((Girlscout))) - I wish I could really hug you. I'm so sorry you had to contain all that anger and pain at such a young age, especially. that's just so sad, for everyone. It's sad for your mother that she didn't think you and your father were worth moving on with life. At 10, you were very aware of what was going on and it must've been so painful to lose your baby brother after hearing about him for all those months. But, unlike your mother, you ARE learning and you ARE progressing through your grief of not having a " real " mother. You're not her!, and your 36 will be nothing like hers. Yours will be brilliant and fun and alive and filled with healing. We should have an e-party for you, complete with Fairy Cupcakes! > > In 2 days, I turn 36. > > 36 is the age my mother was when my brother was born. I was 10. He died > after taking maybe one breath. She. . I don't know if she changed, I think > its more like she froze. She stopped learning. She never progressed through > the stages of grief. She got stuck, bitter and furiously angry. And she took > her anger out on me. > > I'm kind of scared to turn 36. Umm, like really scared. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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