Ever feel like your life is a show on A&E about shockingly strange people ?

March 10, 2011

Hello all,

First, you are all lovely people, a million thanks to you all first for being so

kind to me, and, maybe even more than that for being able to live your lives in

spite of the drama of your parents. I think that's my favorite part of this

whole thing.

I had posted a sort of hello to everyone about my dad, who is a (deep breath)

low-functioning (is there a " not functioning " ? let's call him that instead, as

calling him " low-functioning " which,considering his circumstances, seems

downright absurd), bpd, bipolar, homeless, alcoholic, schizo-effective,

generally insane sort of guy.

I think I just need to like, write out how I feel and hope that you all know

what I mean.

My dad signed himself out of this VA-run dual diagnosis Psych-rehab last week

because, according to him, " it was full of crazy people. "

He had $1500 in tax return money last week.

He is broke now.

You might be thinking to yourself, " he probably spent it on a place to stay "

He didn't.

What did he spend it on? Alcohol, for one. God only knows what else.

He's in poor health. He only has one lung as he aspirated his other last year

around this time. He's going blind, macular degeneration? Has seizures? Anyhow,

he's in poor health. And homeless in some city I don't know, about 300 miles

from me.

I haven't heard from him all day. My aunt and I have called him about a million

times and gotten no answer.

Naturally, I am sitting here wondering if he's alive or dead.

I have to write a paper about a similar theme in these three short stories we

read in one of my classes, but I can't stop looking at the storm outside and

wondering if my dad is walking around in it, or, maybe dead.

Any suggestions? I just feel so lost. I know there's nothing I can do and it's

not my fault, but I still feel worried sick and miserable.

Guh.

-Noodle.

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