Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 May God have mercy on those poor children! > > > So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post here > about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the kids, > has > a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year old > step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is " parentified > child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old brother). > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving home > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants nothing to > do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants to > have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm reluctant > to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has quit > drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home from > hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. > > Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn thing and > I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step daughter. > She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. > > God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. > > Oy Vey! >.< > > Mia > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I agree, Mia. Those poor, unfortunate children. At least they have their dad and you to show them what normal, kind, rational, mentally healthy adults are like, you're giving them the kindness and responsible parenting that they're not getting from bpd-momster. I'd keep a careful and watchful eye on the kids' bio-mom. If the momster shows signs of post-partum depression or post-partum psychosis when the new baby arrives, then perhaps that will make it easier for you and your fiance to get full custody of his two kids, and the baby can be rescued too. If you can't get full custody, is there any chance of sending the 11 year old to a good boarding school, and the boy too when he is 6? That way they would spend as little time with biomomster as possible, and you and your fiance could visit them on weekends/ holidays / school breaks. Bio-momster would probably not make the effort to see them very often, I'm guessing, if she can't use and exploit the 11 year old for her own benefit (as a live-in maid/housekeeper/nanny.) I think kids in general are more open to the idea of living at a boarding school these days, since the Harry Potter books came out. (Who wouldn't enjoy attending a magical boarding school where you learn to develop your supernatural powers?) Boarding school used to be viewed as a kind of punishment or rejection, but now, its kind of cool. Just an idea to consider. I hope things work out the way you want them too; I feel for the plight of these kids and now a new baby is on the way? That can't have a positive impact on their mother's personality-disordered behaviors, I'm afraid. I'll be very surprised if the baby escapes the ravages of fetal alcohol syndrome, but I hope that by some miracle he/she is born healthy and whole. -Annie > > So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post here > about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the kids, has > a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year old > step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is " parentified > child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old brother). > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving home > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants nothing to > do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants to > have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm reluctant > to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has quit > drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home from > hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. > > Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn thing and > I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step daughter. > She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. > > God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. > > Oy Vey! >.< > > Mia > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Oh shit! I'm sorry Mia. The poor kiddos On Sat, Mar 12, 2011 at 3:25 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > I agree, Mia. Those poor, unfortunate children. At least they have their > dad and you to show them what normal, kind, rational, mentally healthy > adults are like, you're giving them the kindness and responsible parenting > that they're not getting from bpd-momster. > > I'd keep a careful and watchful eye on the kids' bio-mom. If the momster > shows signs of post-partum depression or post-partum psychosis when the new > baby arrives, then perhaps that will make it easier for you and your fiance > to get full custody of his two kids, and the baby can be rescued too. > > If you can't get full custody, is there any chance of sending the 11 year > old to a good boarding school, and the boy too when he is 6? That way they > would spend as little time with biomomster as possible, and you and your > fiance could visit them on weekends/ holidays / school breaks. > > Bio-momster would probably not make the effort to see them very often, I'm > guessing, if she can't use and exploit the 11 year old for her own benefit > (as a live-in maid/housekeeper/nanny.) > > I think kids in general are more open to the idea of living at a boarding > school these days, since the Harry Potter books came out. (Who wouldn't > enjoy attending a magical boarding school where you learn to develop your > supernatural powers?) > Boarding school used to be viewed as a kind of punishment or rejection, but > now, its kind of cool. > > Just an idea to consider. I hope things work out the way you want them too; > I feel for the plight of these kids and now a new baby is on the way? That > can't have a positive impact on their mother's personality-disordered > behaviors, I'm afraid. I'll be very surprised if the baby escapes the > ravages of fetal alcohol syndrome, but I hope that by some miracle he/she is > born healthy and whole. > > -Annie > > > > > > > So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post here > > about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the kids, > has > > a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year old > > step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is " parentified > > child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old brother). > > > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving home > > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > > > NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants nothing > to > > do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants to > > have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm > reluctant > > to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has > quit > > drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home from > > hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. > > > > Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn thing > and > > I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step > daughter. > > She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. > > > > God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. > > > > Oy Vey! >.< > > > > Mia > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Thanks guys. Yeah, this is scary to me. She can't take care of the 2 she has, wouldn't get off her butt to get a job for a year and a half, wouldn't stop drinking, etc... now she thinks she can just pull it out of her arse and get a job? Stop drinking? etc? She can't/won't provide love & loving discipline to 4 year old step son... he gets under her skin, can't tell you how many times we've taken him for her because she's " had enough " and she's having another baby? The 4 year old is so often unsupervised... gets into katchup, butter, etc, puts it all over the house because she & her mother are asleep in the middle of the day. What the french, toast?? A baby needs A LOT MORE attention. So does the 4 year old. I worry about my step kids, I worry about the baby too. And what a stand-up guy she was with who's now headed for the hills since she is knocked up. Bravo, baby momma. Oooh and get this! She sent fiance a text earlier saying that step daughter was asking her if the baby was coming with them to daddy's house on the weekends. She wanted to know if fiance was ok with that!!! Hahahahahahaha!!!! He was like, " Uh, absolutley NOT. It's not my kid. " So when that poor baby is born and she starts calling for money for diapers, etc... oh hell no! Go find the man in the hills. Bleh. Ok, back to homework. Grumble grumble. Thanks for listening guys. You rock. Mia On Sat, Mar 12, 2011 at 6:30 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > Oh shit! > I'm sorry Mia. The poor kiddos > > On Sat, Mar 12, 2011 at 3:25 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@... > >wrote: > > > > > > > I agree, Mia. Those poor, unfortunate children. At least they have their > > dad and you to show them what normal, kind, rational, mentally healthy > > adults are like, you're giving them the kindness and responsible > parenting > > that they're not getting from bpd-momster. > > > > I'd keep a careful and watchful eye on the kids' bio-mom. If the momster > > shows signs of post-partum depression or post-partum psychosis when the > new > > baby arrives, then perhaps that will make it easier for you and your > fiance > > to get full custody of his two kids, and the baby can be rescued too. > > > > If you can't get full custody, is there any chance of sending the 11 year > > old to a good boarding school, and the boy too when he is 6? That way > they > > would spend as little time with biomomster as possible, and you and your > > fiance could visit them on weekends/ holidays / school breaks. > > > > Bio-momster would probably not make the effort to see them very often, > I'm > > guessing, if she can't use and exploit the 11 year old for her own > benefit > > (as a live-in maid/housekeeper/nanny.) > > > > I think kids in general are more open to the idea of living at a boarding > > school these days, since the Harry Potter books came out. (Who wouldn't > > enjoy attending a magical boarding school where you learn to develop your > > supernatural powers?) > > Boarding school used to be viewed as a kind of punishment or rejection, > but > > now, its kind of cool. > > > > Just an idea to consider. I hope things work out the way you want them > too; > > I feel for the plight of these kids and now a new baby is on the way? > That > > can't have a positive impact on their mother's personality-disordered > > behaviors, I'm afraid. I'll be very surprised if the baby escapes the > > ravages of fetal alcohol syndrome, but I hope that by some miracle he/she > is > > born healthy and whole. > > > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post > here > > > about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the > kids, > > has > > > a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year > old > > > step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is " parentified > > > child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old > brother). > > > > > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > > > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > > > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving > home > > > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > > > > > NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants nothing > > to > > > do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants > to > > > have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm > > reluctant > > > to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has > > quit > > > drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home > from > > > hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. > > > > > > Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn thing > > and > > > I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step > > daughter. > > > She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. > > > > > > God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. > > > > > > Oy Vey! >.< > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Maybe it will present a good opportunity when you could ask to have the other 2 kids more and maybe even full custody? > > > Thanks guys. Yeah, this is scary to me. She can't take care of the 2 she > has, wouldn't get off her butt to get a job for a year and a half, wouldn't > stop drinking, etc... now she thinks she can just pull it out of her arse > and get a job? Stop drinking? etc? She can't/won't provide love & loving > discipline to 4 year old step son... he gets under her skin, can't tell you > how many times we've taken him for her because she's " had enough " and she's > having another baby? The 4 year old is so often unsupervised... gets into > katchup, butter, etc, puts it all over the house because she & her mother > are asleep in the middle of the day. What the french, toast?? A baby needs > A LOT MORE attention. So does the 4 year old. > > I worry about my step kids, I worry about the baby too. And what a stand-up > guy she was with who's now headed for the hills since she is knocked up. > Bravo, baby momma. > > Oooh and get this! She sent fiance a text earlier saying that step daughter > was asking her if the baby was coming with them to daddy's house on the > weekends. She wanted to know if fiance was ok with that!!! > Hahahahahahaha!!!! He was like, " Uh, absolutley NOT. It's not my kid. " > So when that poor baby is born and she starts calling for money for > diapers, > etc... oh hell no! Go find the man in the hills. > > Bleh. Ok, back to homework. Grumble grumble. Thanks for listening guys. > You rock. > > Mia > > > On Sat, Mar 12, 2011 at 6:30 PM, Girlscout Cowboy < > girlscout.cowboy@...> wrote: > > > Oh shit! > > I'm sorry Mia. The poor kiddos > > > > On Sat, Mar 12, 2011 at 3:25 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@... > > >wrote: > > > > > > > > > > > I agree, Mia. Those poor, unfortunate children. At least they have > their > > > dad and you to show them what normal, kind, rational, mentally healthy > > > adults are like, you're giving them the kindness and responsible > > parenting > > > that they're not getting from bpd-momster. > > > > > > I'd keep a careful and watchful eye on the kids' bio-mom. If the > momster > > > shows signs of post-partum depression or post-partum psychosis when the > > new > > > baby arrives, then perhaps that will make it easier for you and your > > fiance > > > to get full custody of his two kids, and the baby can be rescued too. > > > > > > If you can't get full custody, is there any chance of sending the 11 > year > > > old to a good boarding school, and the boy too when he is 6? That way > > they > > > would spend as little time with biomomster as possible, and you and > your > > > fiance could visit them on weekends/ holidays / school breaks. > > > > > > Bio-momster would probably not make the effort to see them very often, > > I'm > > > guessing, if she can't use and exploit the 11 year old for her own > > benefit > > > (as a live-in maid/housekeeper/nanny.) > > > > > > I think kids in general are more open to the idea of living at a > boarding > > > school these days, since the Harry Potter books came out. (Who wouldn't > > > enjoy attending a magical boarding school where you learn to develop > your > > > supernatural powers?) > > > Boarding school used to be viewed as a kind of punishment or rejection, > > but > > > now, its kind of cool. > > > > > > Just an idea to consider. I hope things work out the way you want them > > too; > > > I feel for the plight of these kids and now a new baby is on the way? > > That > > > can't have a positive impact on their mother's personality-disordered > > > behaviors, I'm afraid. I'll be very surprised if the baby escapes the > > > ravages of fetal alcohol syndrome, but I hope that by some miracle > he/she > > is > > > born healthy and whole. > > > > > > -Annie > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post > > here > > > > about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the > > kids, > > > has > > > > a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year > > old > > > > step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is > " parentified > > > > child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old > > brother). > > > > > > > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > > > > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > > > > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving > > home > > > > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > > > > > > > NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants > nothing > > > to > > > > do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants > > to > > > > have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm > > > reluctant > > > > to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has > > > quit > > > > drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home > > from > > > > hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. > > > > > > > > Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn > thing > > > and > > > > I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step > > > daughter. > > > > She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. > > > > > > > > God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. > > > > > > > > Oy Vey! >.< > > > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 That is so unfortunate for the kids. I recently found out my adopted children's birth mother is pregnant with her 7th child at 26 years old. She doesn't have custody of the other six. I dont know why the universe allows it...confusing. Oh dear god... So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post here about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the kids, has a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year old step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is " parentified child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old brother). Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving home simply can't! More Ughs from me! NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants nothing to do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants to have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm reluctant to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has quit drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home from hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn thing and I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step daughter. She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. Oy Vey! >.< Mia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I wish that part could be explained to the 11 year old very gently. She is still a tender-hearted child, and this new baby will be *her* little sister or brother. She's already feeling compassion for this unborn half-sibling, even if the baby is not related to her father. I'm sure that when she asked that question, the 11-year-old was hoping that the baby would get the same loving kindness from her dad that she herself does, and that her 4-year-old (half?) brother does. She can't understand the adult relationship difficulties behind that decision. I hope that her heart will not be too crushed by seeing her baby half-sibling split apart from her and her brother and treated differently, by not being welcomed at her dad's house. I understand the logistics from an adult point of view, but, she's a little girl still. Just giving another perspective on this all-too-tragic, no-win situation. My heart goes out to all of you. -Annie > > > > > > > > So, fiance's likely uBPD ex wife... is pregnant. I occasionally post > > here > > > > about issues we have trying to deal with her, how she neglects the > > kids, > > > has > > > > a filthy house, etc... and now she's spawning again. My poor 11 year > > old > > > > step daughter doesn't need another child to raise (she is " parentified > > > > child " as it is because she has to take care of her 4 year old > > brother). > > > > > > > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > > > > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > > > > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving > > home > > > > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > > > > > > > NOW she says she's going to get a job. I guess the father wants nothing > > > to > > > > do with her or the baby because he wanted her to abort, but she wants > > to > > > > have it. Fiance is hopeful she'll get her sh** together, but I'm > > > reluctant > > > > to think so! I guess the only good of it is that she told him she has > > > quit > > > > drinking. I sure as hell hope so, but I'm sure as soon as she's home > > from > > > > hospital she'll be right back on that bottle. > > > > > > > > Yes, I'm being cynical. I just don't expect this to change a damn thing > > > and > > > > I'm also worried about my two future step kiddos, especially step > > > daughter. > > > > She should not have to raise her brother, let alone another baby. > > > > > > > > God help us, god help the kids and god help that poor baby. > > > > > > > > Oy Vey! >.< > > > > > > > > Mia > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Reading this the day after a friend's son and his wife went through the trauma of having labor induced for a pregnancy gone terribly wrong, irreversible and rare problems, serious risks to the mom's life and a brain dead baby, it makes one wonder..... Ugh is right. Sigh. In a message dated 3/12/2011 4:28:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, zobimia@... writes: Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving home simply can't! More Ughs from me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 12, 2011 Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 Annie, her little bro is her full bro, is fiance's son. Darkalleye - I'm so sorry to hear about you friend's situation =( It's so sad. And yes, what in the universe happens to allow women like fiance's ex and 's child's bio-mom to keep popping them out like that?! The universe is confusing me. Mia > > > Reading this the day after a friend's son and his wife went through the > trauma of having labor induced for a pregnancy gone terribly wrong, > irreversible and rare problems, serious risks to the mom's life and a brain > dead > baby, it makes one wonder..... > Ugh is right. Sigh. > > > In a message dated 3/12/2011 4:28:17 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, > zobimia@... writes: > > Ugh ugh & ugh. Why oh why do people like this seem to have an uncanny > ability & such ease of getting pregnant? And then, good people who > desperately want a child and who could provide a child with a loving home > simply can't! More Ughs from me! > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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