I'm a drama queen, no one here would be surprised.

[Guest guest]

I recently had a psych evaluation done because of the career path that I have

chosen. It's an incredibly difficult occupation, high stress and someone must be

very strong too even go through the initial trainning. Once through, its an

awesome, challenging job. But in reality I fear the initial trainning process.

There are a lot of psychological games that go on in their effort to tear you

down and build you back up. Its this highly charged emotional atmosphere that

I'm afraid of.

I had already applied in 2009, but was denied based on a history of " recurrent

depression " according to them, when in fact I was on anti-depressants twice,

once 10 years ago and I was initially dealing with childhood trauma and then

again when pregnant with my 2nd child (high risk, chance of stillbirth, pre-term

labor and hormones from hell).

So, I have had an independant psych assessment completed to determine if I have

depression, or if the past events could be classified as depression.

She admitted to me at the debreifing that she had initially investigated me for

having BPD because of my mother(BPD) and my father (NPD) both having cluster B

issues, as we all know these can be genetic, and learned.

She does not feel that I have BPD, but when I completed a few of the personality

inventories and " response to anger " inventories, I flagged on the high side for

histrionic tendancies, and a few for narcaccism. Not PD territory, but she feels

that I struggle with them.

Well, yeah.

I read the Wiki descriptions for both PDs, and yes, I see myself in them at

times, as her tests indicated, more from the histrionic side than the NPD. But,

I think everyone likely has these things to a certain degree, it just depends on

if the problems start to affect the people around them.

When I was younger I was a MAJOR drama queen. I learned this behavior from my

mother because she was the QUEEN of this behavior. I was also still dealing with

the fallout of being a KO of seriously dysfunctional people.

So, the bright side, is that she was able to write a letter to the department

that I am applying too, and its a positive one. Contridicting their own

conclusions on my mental health, so hopefully I will in fact be accepted.

I do however have some fear of the trainning process. I'm afraid I will be put

into a highly emotionally stressful situation and completely break down, proving

that I am unfit to be there.

In the meantime, I'm working on trying not to be a drama queen. I think the NPD

traits will actually work FOR me and not against me with this, so at least thats

positive. This is a male dominated field so I will have to work twice as hard to

prove my strength.

Does anyone have any strategies on how to control your anger, impulsitivity and

drama queen tendancies?

[Guest guest]

Wow, sounds like the FBI or something. Cool!!!!

I doubt you will break down. For me, when I encounter a difficult situation,

I tend to ball the experience up and shove it under the rug. Then I pull it

out and gradually take it apart later when i am in a safe place, like with

my boyfriend or my T. I imagine this is what you might do too. My big

project in therapy right now is learning to deal with these traumas when

they happen by using my voice, and then leave them there for the other

person who inflicted it, instead of taking it home and sleeping with it

under my pillow at night.

I think where it gets scary is if it is repeated trauma over the course of a

year or more. If you have one every week or every day you (well I) start to

go under due to the depression.

I have had mega mega probs with depression though. So I doubt that would be

a good job for me. I'm less histrionic - well I love anything theatrical

when I'm having fun - but in a real situation, like the other day when I got

hurt badly at work, I tend to minimize, cowboy up and fake like it didn't

hurt. I'm guessing the histrionic tendancies would be to make more of that

moment - no?

>

>

> I recently had a psych evaluation done because of the career path that I

> have chosen. It's an incredibly difficult occupation, high stress and

> someone must be very strong too even go through the initial trainning. Once

> through, its an awesome, challenging job. But in reality I fear the initial

> trainning process. There are a lot of psychological games that go on in

> their effort to tear you down and build you back up. Its this highly charged

> emotional atmosphere that I'm afraid of.

>

> I had already applied in 2009, but was denied based on a history of

> " recurrent depression " according to them, when in fact I was on

> anti-depressants twice, once 10 years ago and I was initially dealing with

> childhood trauma and then again when pregnant with my 2nd child (high risk,

> chance of stillbirth, pre-term labor and hormones from hell).

>

> So, I have had an independant psych assessment completed to determine if I

> have depression, or if the past events could be classified as depression.

>

> She admitted to me at the debreifing that she had initially investigated me

> for having BPD because of my mother(BPD) and my father (NPD) both having

> cluster B issues, as we all know these can be genetic, and learned.

>

> She does not feel that I have BPD, but when I completed a few of the

> personality inventories and " response to anger " inventories, I flagged on

> the high side for histrionic tendancies, and a few for narcaccism. Not PD

> territory, but she feels that I struggle with them.

>

> Well, yeah.

>

> I read the Wiki descriptions for both PDs, and yes, I see myself in them at

> times, as her tests indicated, more from the histrionic side than the NPD.

> But, I think everyone likely has these things to a certain degree, it just

> depends on if the problems start to affect the people around them.

>

> When I was younger I was a MAJOR drama queen. I learned this behavior from

> my mother because she was the QUEEN of this behavior. I was also still

> dealing with the fallout of being a KO of seriously dysfunctional people.

>

> So, the bright side, is that she was able to write a letter to the

> department that I am applying too, and its a positive one. Contridicting

> their own conclusions on my mental health, so hopefully I will in fact be

> accepted.

>

> I do however have some fear of the trainning process. I'm afraid I will be

> put into a highly emotionally stressful situation and completely break down,

> proving that I am unfit to be there.

>

> In the meantime, I'm working on trying not to be a drama queen. I think the

> NPD traits will actually work FOR me and not against me with this, so at

> least thats positive. This is a male dominated field so I will have to work

> twice as hard to prove my strength.

>

> Does anyone have any strategies on how to control your anger, impulsitivity

> and drama queen tendancies?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Not necessarily, when I am physically hurt, I don't seek attention, and I also

minimize it. I want to shrink, I don't like attention like that. Never have,

which is why the Histrionic thing kind of surprised me because I'm not usually

an attention whore.

When someone puts me down, criticizes me unfairly (and at times, even fairly)

treats me unfairly or generally attacks me or my character, I can fly off the

handle. I'm worried about *this* reaction.

On thinking of it though, I do not think that they launch personal character

assasinations, like what I grew up with. Even thinking about things recently

that have been emotionally charged over the last few years, I've gotten pissed

off, I vent and I rationalize the situation and try to learn from it and move

on.

I do worry about personal attacks, juvenile behavior as they try to push my

limits to see how much stress I can handle.

>

> >

> >

> > I recently had a psych evaluation done because of the career path that I

> > have chosen. It's an incredibly difficult occupation, high stress and

> > someone must be very strong too even go through the initial trainning. Once

> > through, its an awesome, challenging job. But in reality I fear the initial

> > trainning process. There are a lot of psychological games that go on in

> > their effort to tear you down and build you back up. Its this highly charged

> > emotional atmosphere that I'm afraid of.

> >

> > I had already applied in 2009, but was denied based on a history of

> > " recurrent depression " according to them, when in fact I was on

> > anti-depressants twice, once 10 years ago and I was initially dealing with

> > childhood trauma and then again when pregnant with my 2nd child (high risk,

> > chance of stillbirth, pre-term labor and hormones from hell).

> >

> > So, I have had an independant psych assessment completed to determine if I

> > have depression, or if the past events could be classified as depression.

> >

> > She admitted to me at the debreifing that she had initially investigated me

> > for having BPD because of my mother(BPD) and my father (NPD) both having

> > cluster B issues, as we all know these can be genetic, and learned.

> >

> > She does not feel that I have BPD, but when I completed a few of the

> > personality inventories and " response to anger " inventories, I flagged on

> > the high side for histrionic tendancies, and a few for narcaccism. Not PD

> > territory, but she feels that I struggle with them.

> >

> > Well, yeah.

> >

> > I read the Wiki descriptions for both PDs, and yes, I see myself in them at

> > times, as her tests indicated, more from the histrionic side than the NPD.

> > But, I think everyone likely has these things to a certain degree, it just

> > depends on if the problems start to affect the people around them.

> >

> > When I was younger I was a MAJOR drama queen. I learned this behavior from

> > my mother because she was the QUEEN of this behavior. I was also still

> > dealing with the fallout of being a KO of seriously dysfunctional people.

> >

> > So, the bright side, is that she was able to write a letter to the

> > department that I am applying too, and its a positive one. Contridicting

> > their own conclusions on my mental health, so hopefully I will in fact be

> > accepted.

> >

> > I do however have some fear of the trainning process. I'm afraid I will be

> > put into a highly emotionally stressful situation and completely break down,

> > proving that I am unfit to be there.

> >

> > In the meantime, I'm working on trying not to be a drama queen. I think the

> > NPD traits will actually work FOR me and not against me with this, so at

> > least thats positive. This is a male dominated field so I will have to work

> > twice as hard to prove my strength.

> >

> > Does anyone have any strategies on how to control your anger, impulsitivity

> > and drama queen tendancies?

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I would suggest you learn to meditate. It really helps with stress as well as

controlling our emotions when we need to. It lowers blood pressure and acts to

me like a tonic (though if I am tooooooo stressed out I can't seem to go deeply

enough for it to help significantly but it still does to some degree).

I think all in all you are doing well given the situations you had in your life

and you should congratulate yourself for overcoming these as well as you have.

Good luck to you.

[Guest guest]

Hon that doesn't sound very histrionic! It sounds normal!

Hugs

>

>

> I would suggest you learn to meditate. It really helps with stress as well

> as controlling our emotions when we need to. It lowers blood pressure and

> acts to me like a tonic (though if I am tooooooo stressed out I can't seem

> to go deeply enough for it to help significantly but it still does to some

> degree).

>

> I think all in all you are doing well given the situations you had in your

> life and you should congratulate yourself for overcoming these as well as

> you have.

>

> Good luck to you.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think learning meditation is a great suggestion!

I've used a kind of self-hypnosis technique in the past that helped me when I

was *extremely* anxious about making a good impression RE getting jobs I really

wanted.

The first time, I was driving to the first day of my new job that I was so happy

to get and which would be much more challenging than any previous job I'd had,

and I became so jittery and anxious that I started hyper-ventilating and feeling

dizzy, which was scary and added to my anxiety. I told myself quietly and

calmly, " You've just been injected with a powerful new tranquilizer drug. You

can feel your feet and legs growing warm and relaxed. Your arms are feeling

warm and relaxed. Wow, this is such a powerful drug, I can actually feel it

running through my veins, warming and relaxing me... "

Somehow, it worked. By the time I arrived at my new job, I was relaxed and calm.

The second time, I had the opportunity to try out for a job at a very

prestigious company in my field, and I was to do the try-out project at home. I

became a basket case of nerves, nearly frozen/paralyzed with anxiety because

doing an outstanding job with this was so important to me. So, I told myself...

" You know, this thing is no big deal. This is not anything you really care

about, its just another stupid, dumb job. You don't care if you get it or not,

its not even important. This is a cute project and you know you can give them

something they'll like, so, its not even challenging. Its nothing. So go do

it. "

It worked, I did the test project well and got the job.

I'm sure you'll find something that works for you; meditation sounds like a

tried-and-true, healthy form of self-calming. I'm not sure that telling myself

that I was pumped full of drugs or trying out for a job that was boringly

trivial and unimportant to calm myself down was particularly healthy, but at

least it worked.

-Annie

>

> I would suggest you learn to meditate. It really helps with stress as well as

controlling our emotions when we need to. It lowers blood pressure and acts to

me like a tonic (though if I am tooooooo stressed out I can't seem to go deeply

enough for it to help significantly but it still does to some degree).

>

> I think all in all you are doing well given the situations you had in your

life and you should congratulate yourself for overcoming these as well as you

have.

>

> Good luck to you.

>

>

[Guest guest]

The meditation idea is a really great one.

Also, I've been trying to learn EFT and make it a habit, that way if something

sudden and semi-traumatic happens, I can do some quick calming.

At this trainning, I'll be going for essentially 18 hours a day (5am-10/11pm) so

I'm not sure that meditation would come in handy. I'll have to look into it,

even 5 minutes in the shower is better than nothing!

Thanks everyone

>

> I recently had a psych evaluation done because of the career path that I have

chosen. It's an incredibly difficult occupation, high stress and someone must be

very strong too even go through the initial trainning. Once through, its an

awesome, challenging job. But in reality I fear the initial trainning process.

There are a lot of psychological games that go on in their effort to tear you

down and build you back up. Its this highly charged emotional atmosphere that

I'm afraid of.

>

> I had already applied in 2009, but was denied based on a history of " recurrent

depression " according to them, when in fact I was on anti-depressants twice,

once 10 years ago and I was initially dealing with childhood trauma and then

again when pregnant with my 2nd child (high risk, chance of stillbirth, pre-term

labor and hormones from hell).

>

> So, I have had an independant psych assessment completed to determine if I

have depression, or if the past events could be classified as depression.

>

> She admitted to me at the debreifing that she had initially investigated me

for having BPD because of my mother(BPD) and my father (NPD) both having cluster

B issues, as we all know these can be genetic, and learned.

>

> She does not feel that I have BPD, but when I completed a few of the

personality inventories and " response to anger " inventories, I flagged on the

high side for histrionic tendancies, and a few for narcaccism. Not PD territory,

but she feels that I struggle with them.

>

> Well, yeah.

>

> I read the Wiki descriptions for both PDs, and yes, I see myself in them at

times, as her tests indicated, more from the histrionic side than the NPD. But,

I think everyone likely has these things to a certain degree, it just depends on

if the problems start to affect the people around them.

>

> When I was younger I was a MAJOR drama queen. I learned this behavior from my

mother because she was the QUEEN of this behavior. I was also still dealing with

the fallout of being a KO of seriously dysfunctional people.

>

> So, the bright side, is that she was able to write a letter to the department

that I am applying too, and its a positive one. Contridicting their own

conclusions on my mental health, so hopefully I will in fact be accepted.

>

> I do however have some fear of the trainning process. I'm afraid I will be put

into a highly emotionally stressful situation and completely break down, proving

that I am unfit to be there.

>

> In the meantime, I'm working on trying not to be a drama queen. I think the

NPD traits will actually work FOR me and not against me with this, so at least

thats positive. This is a male dominated field so I will have to work twice as

hard to prove my strength.

>

> Does anyone have any strategies on how to control your anger, impulsitivity

and drama queen tendancies?

>