Re: therapy changing regressing

[Guest guest]

Wow GS, I wish I could have reached that level of trust with a therapist. I

think it's a great sign that you are feeling this way because it's like your

inner child is coming forward to be healed - that is absolutely great. My guess

is that it is a phase and eventually you'll feel " complete " . What usually

happens with me is just when I'm beginning to trust a therapist they do

something which triggers me and the trust is shattered, so I never get to that

point. To be fair to them though it's incredibly easy to trigger me. So I say

go for it, stuffed animals, a special blanket, the whole nine yards - you've

found a T who can help you heal and that's a true treasure.

julie

>

> I feel like something shifted in my relationship with my T this past week.

> She moved the furniture in her office so we were closer and both surrounded

> by pillows. Then she gave the real Girlscout a massage and the poor

> little girl just melted into a bliss puddle and my psyche along with it. I

> finally started to cry a few tears - I'm not saying I can let it all out

> yet, but their was moisture at least.

>

> Here i am at home trying to get back on my diet so I can lose my Christmas

> poundage and I find some candy valentine hearts she gave me. I'm totally

> sucking on them because they are from my T and so they are special.. .

>

> Would it be weird if I asked her to give me a stuffed animal or something to

> hold when I'm not with her. Wow, I feel really weird even asking that. I can

> totally feel that I've regressed but it doesn't really feel like its a bad

> thing. More like I'm saying hey look at me, I can be vulnerable, check it

> out, this is my psyche and she's about 3 years old emotionally. . .

>

> Anyone feel this way? Anyone?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I'm not positive but I think a normal part of therapy is called " transference " .

Its when the patient comes to trust the therapist and to subconsciously relate

to the therapist as though the therapist is the patient's mother or father. The

idea is to work through the patient's parent issues with a trustworthy " parent

substitute " , and then as the patient becomes more emotionally mature and

independent, the " parentification " of the therapist begins to naturally

dissipate.

So, its normal. Your subconscious is supposed to consider that your therapist

is the " good mother " you never had, so you can explore and consciously resolve

the trauma you received at the hands of your real mother.

-Annie

>

> I feel like something shifted in my relationship with my T this past week.

> She moved the furniture in her office so we were closer and both surrounded

> by pillows. Then she gave the real Girlscout a massage and the poor

> little girl just melted into a bliss puddle and my psyche along with it. I

> finally started to cry a few tears - I'm not saying I can let it all out

> yet, but their was moisture at least.

>

> Here i am at home trying to get back on my diet so I can lose my Christmas

> poundage and I find some candy valentine hearts she gave me. I'm totally

> sucking on them because they are from my T and so they are special.. .

>

> Would it be weird if I asked her to give me a stuffed animal or something to

> hold when I'm not with her. Wow, I feel really weird even asking that. I can

> totally feel that I've regressed but it doesn't really feel like its a bad

> thing. More like I'm saying hey look at me, I can be vulnerable, check it

> out, this is my psyche and she's about 3 years old emotionally. . .

>

> Anyone feel this way? Anyone?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I totally get why you think it's weird to ask for something comforting like

that from your T.

A few months ago, I complimented my T on a beaded necklace she was wearing.

Turns out she makes them herself, and she made one for me. I love that

necklace! Not just because it's pretty, but because it was from her, and it

makes me feel safe. I felt kinda stupid after I told her that though lol.

But she didn't think it was stupid.

I even took it with me to the hospital when I had surgery in January. I had

my fiance keep it in his pocket while I was in surgery, and then he put it

on for me when I was in my room.

It's strange how something so simple and materialistic can bring me a little

peace. So yeah, I get where you're coming from with the candy & the stuffed

animal.

Mia

>

[Guest guest]

Awww, girlscout. I'm tearing up.

I think that's sweet and it sounds like you have the kind of relationship where

you could ask her that. I bet she would comply.

Hugs,

Fiona

>

> I feel like something shifted in my relationship with my T this past week.

> She moved the furniture in her office so we were closer and both surrounded

> by pillows. Then she gave the real Girlscout a massage and the poor

> little girl just melted into a bliss puddle and my psyche along with it. I

> finally started to cry a few tears - I'm not saying I can let it all out

> yet, but their was moisture at least.

>

> Here i am at home trying to get back on my diet so I can lose my Christmas

> poundage and I find some candy valentine hearts she gave me. I'm totally

> sucking on them because they are from my T and so they are special.. .

>

> Would it be weird if I asked her to give me a stuffed animal or something to

> hold when I'm not with her. Wow, I feel really weird even asking that. I can

> totally feel that I've regressed but it doesn't really feel like its a bad

> thing. More like I'm saying hey look at me, I can be vulnerable, check it

> out, this is my psyche and she's about 3 years old emotionally. . .

>

> Anyone feel this way? Anyone?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow - way cool. I swear I have very rarely relaxed like that with another

person in my life. I guess when your primary caregiver is a wicked nasty

bitch, you learn to be guarded all the time. I'm feeling like this must be

how people with a real parent feel - like they have a place where they can

be themselves. That is the one thing that was sure to bring nada's rage down

on my head - if I was myself instead of who she wanted me to be. T says that

has changed who I am and I've become utterly and totally determined to be

myself in each and every situation. That's why my clothes and my style are

so important to me - like critically critically important. i've quit jobs

because they wanted to tell me what color to wear.

So on second thought, I have a super cute leopard print snuggie T gave me

that I'm going to snuggle up with tonight. Stuffed animals are my fav,

but unfortunately they are in constant mortal danger in my house. They are

the one thing the real Girlscout can't resist The snuggie just makes her

snugglie.

>

>

> I totally get why you think it's weird to ask for something comforting like

> that from your T.

>

> A few months ago, I complimented my T on a beaded necklace she was wearing.

> Turns out she makes them herself, and she made one for me. I love that

> necklace! Not just because it's pretty, but because it was from her, and it

> makes me feel safe. I felt kinda stupid after I told her that though lol.

> But she didn't think it was stupid.

>

> I even took it with me to the hospital when I had surgery in January. I had

> my fiance keep it in his pocket while I was in surgery, and then he put it

> on for me when I was in my room.

>

> It's strange how something so simple and materialistic can bring me a

> little

> peace. So yeah, I get where you're coming from with the candy & the stuffed

> animal.

>

> Mia

>

>

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yeah, that's so cute. I don't even think I'd feel weird asking her that.

She has 3 little kids, and when I tell her things my nada did, she tells me

what she would do, what a real mom, would do in the same situation. It does

me a world of good to hear that.

>

>

> Awww, girlscout. I'm tearing up.

> I think that's sweet and it sounds like you have the kind of relationship

> where you could ask her that. I bet she would comply.

>

> Hugs,

> Fiona

>

>

>

> >

> > I feel like something shifted in my relationship with my T this past

> week.

> > She moved the furniture in her office so we were closer and both

> surrounded

> > by pillows. Then she gave the real Girlscout a massage and the poor

> > little girl just melted into a bliss puddle and my psyche along with it.

> I

> > finally started to cry a few tears - I'm not saying I can let it all out

> > yet, but their was moisture at least.

> >

> > Here i am at home trying to get back on my diet so I can lose my

> Christmas

> > poundage and I find some candy valentine hearts she gave me. I'm totally

> > sucking on them because they are from my T and so they are special.. .

> >

> > Would it be weird if I asked her to give me a stuffed animal or something

> to

> > hold when I'm not with her. Wow, I feel really weird even asking that. I

> can

> > totally feel that I've regressed but it doesn't really feel like its a

> bad

> > thing. More like I'm saying hey look at me, I can be vulnerable, check it

> > out, this is my psyche and she's about 3 years old emotionally. . .

> >

> > Anyone feel this way? Anyone?

> >

> >

> >