If your Nada has died, did it bring you any peace?

[Guest guest]

I've talked before on this thread about what my feelings might be if Nada died.

Sad yes, because I know that she does love me, and she even did many amazing

things for me, but also free, and relieved, because then I wouldn't have to do

the work it takes to have her in my life anymore.

But I believe there's a flip side to all this: my therapist, for one, believes

that if we don't resolve issues with people while they're alive, we are stuck

with those same issues once the person is gone. Now, I disagree with her on

this, because I believe that, on my end, I've worked out the issues as much as

is possible. Nada is always going to be her crazy-ass self, and that can never

be resolved, only managed.

For those of you whose Nadas have died, did it bring you peace, or merely

problems of a different sort?

[Guest guest]

jgar,

I don't agree with your therapist. We Acons are forced to solve our problems

unilaterally. I find that opinion irritating and limiting. Hope I'm not

being irritating with the forcefulness of my opinion.

>

>

> I've talked before on this thread about what my feelings might be if Nada

> died. Sad yes, because I know that she does love me, and she even did many

> amazing things for me, but also free, and relieved, because then I wouldn't

> have to do the work it takes to have her in my life anymore.

>

> But I believe there's a flip side to all this: my therapist, for one,

> believes that if we don't resolve issues with people while they're alive, we

> are stuck with those same issues once the person is gone. Now, I disagree

> with her on this, because I believe that, on my end, I've worked out the

> issues as much as is possible. Nada is always going to be her crazy-ass

> self, and that can never be resolved, only managed.

>

> For those of you whose Nadas have died, did it bring you peace, or merely

> problems of a different sort?

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

pwahaha. Not irritating at all. I don't agree with her myself. I appreciate your

bluntness.

>

> jgar,

>

> I don't agree with your therapist. We Acons are forced to solve our problems

> unilaterally. I find that opinion irritating and limiting. Hope I'm not

> being irritating with the forcefulness of my opinion.

>

[Guest guest]

My nada is dying and it will be any time now the hospice nurse tells me.

She hasn't eaten or drank anything for the nurse for a few days now and barely

drank from a sponge for my friend yesterday biting down on it and only said " I

want to die " .

I can tell you that because this isn't over yet it isn't giving me any peace,

but I think in the end it will give me tremendous peace.

I think we all should look at our nadas as severely wounded children in adults'

bodies and as such feel empathy for them and let it go. I have done that these

last few days and it seems to help me.

[Guest guest]

Hi jgar:

This is a very interesting post and I do have experience from the fada

standpoint. The minute a Flying Monkey let me know that fada had passed, I felt

stirrings of liberation. Your therapist would probably have some name for my

unresolved issues that only allowed my freedom contingent upon fada's death, but

I don't think it's all in my head. When there is a negative person, as closely

connected as father/daughter, continually and unremittingly thinking of you

negatively, as a bad person, those " vibes " are being broadcast spiritually, on

some level, and I always felt them. But after he died, the broadcast stopped.

I have seen positive changes in my life and health now that fada has moved on to

wherever he's gone. As for your therapist thinking it's necessary to work things

out with a person before they die, he/she needs to add " if they are of sound

mind, " to that sentence. I believe you have it right--that as a KO, I can only

work out my end and it will NEVER be resolved with a PD, that's why they're PDs!

Kind regards,

AFB

[Guest guest]

Jgar: Really glad you asked this question and am looking forward to the

responses. I've wondered this myself but was too chicken to ask it. I think I'm

going to be relieved. I think I will also greive for the mother I never had, but

primarily, I think I'll be relieved. I guess I'll know when I get there.

[Guest guest]

I will also be interested in some insight here. I sometimes think I wish Nada

would die so I would not feel the anxiety of what if's.

I also think when we decide to go NC there is a certain amount of grieving done

at this stage as well. The only thing is she is still alive and I don't want to

live with regrets when she does.

I often think about going to her funeral and having all those flying monkeys

looking at me with daggers like the bad daughter.

Kazam x

>

> Jgar: Really glad you asked this question and am looking forward to the

responses. I've wondered this myself but was too chicken to ask it. I think I'm

going to be relieved. I think I will also greive for the mother I never had, but

primarily, I think I'll be relieved. I guess I'll know when I get there.

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, the flying monkeys and nada kept me away from my grandmother's funeral.

I'm glad I didn't go.

>

>

> I will also be interested in some insight here. I sometimes think I wish

> Nada would die so I would not feel the anxiety of what if's.

> I also think when we decide to go NC there is a certain amount of grieving

> done at this stage as well. The only thing is she is still alive and I don't

> want to live with regrets when she does.

> I often think about going to her funeral and having all those flying

> monkeys looking at me with daggers like the bad daughter.

> Kazam x

>

>

>

> >

> > Jgar: Really glad you asked this question and am looking forward to the

> responses. I've wondered this myself but was too chicken to ask it. I think

> I'm going to be relieved. I think I will also greive for the mother I never

> had, but primarily, I think I'll be relieved. I guess I'll know when I get

> there.

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

AFB, this is very interesting to me as I too get " the broadcast " from both my

mother and father. Negative vibes in stereo. I often wonder about what damage

that may do and have tried a number of methods from different belief systems to

try to counteract it. I also have some guilt about my own broadcast as

sometimes the negative emotions are so intense on my side when I get triggered

by them. Did you ever take any steps to deal with psychic problem while your

fada was alive? And thanks for sharing that it stopped after he died and his

spirit did not trouble you. Being haunted is a worry of mine.

>

> Hi jgar:

> This is a very interesting post and I do have experience from the fada

standpoint. The minute a Flying Monkey let me know that fada had passed, I felt

stirrings of liberation. Your therapist would probably have some name for my

unresolved issues that only allowed my freedom contingent upon fada's death, but

I don't think it's all in my head. When there is a negative person, as closely

connected as father/daughter, continually and unremittingly thinking of you

negatively, as a bad person, those " vibes " are being broadcast spiritually, on

some level, and I always felt them. But after he died, the broadcast stopped.

>

> I have seen positive changes in my life and health now that fada has moved on

to wherever he's gone. As for your therapist thinking it's necessary to work

things out with a person before they die, he/she needs to add " if they are of

sound mind, " to that sentence. I believe you have it right--that as a KO, I can

only work out my end and it will NEVER be resolved with a PD, that's why they're

PDs!

> Kind regards,

> AFB

>

[Guest guest]

, I also worry about being haunted by my mom after she dies. I know this

is irrational, but I actually verbalized this to my sis. It's interesting to

see someone else feels the same way. Wow!

Annie 2

> >

> > Hi jgar:

> > This is a very interesting post and I do have experience from the fada

standpoint. The minute a Flying Monkey let me know that fada had passed, I felt

stirrings of liberation. Your therapist would probably have some name for my

unresolved issues that only allowed my freedom contingent upon fada's death, but

I don't think it's all in my head. When there is a negative person, as closely

connected as father/daughter, continually and unremittingly thinking of you

negatively, as a bad person, those " vibes " are being broadcast spiritually, on

some level, and I always felt them. But after he died, the broadcast stopped.

> >

> > I have seen positive changes in my life and health now that fada has moved

on to wherever he's gone. As for your therapist thinking it's necessary to work

things out with a person before they die, he/she needs to add " if they are of

sound mind, " to that sentence. I believe you have it right--that as a KO, I can

only work out my end and it will NEVER be resolved with a PD, that's why they're

PDs!

> > Kind regards,

> > AFB

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Jgar, vespacarina? What should I call you?

A few comments on your thread penned here. In one sense , your

therapist is correct. Issues that we do not resovle with other people

prior to their death are not going to be resolved.

Thank you for that observation, Captain Stating the Incredibly Obvious.

Well, yea, once they are dead, all reconciliation work is over.

So, yes, I believe we should do all we can to resolve difficult issues

in our relationships while we can. But resolving issues with a

Borderline does not necessarily mean fixing them. It may, and very

often does, mean making our best, good faith effort to reach peace on

them. Then, when it becomes obvious they will continue to violate our

boundaries, continue the manipulative and semi psychotic behaviors that

are our norm, choosing the hard but healthy path of doing first what is

best and healthy for us. That most often involves some degree of

separation and very firm boundaries.

A good analogy might be , in so far as possible , live at peace with all

men. For the guy who kicks you in the kiester each and every time you

meet, of course, it is not possible.

I was in training this weekend for Critical Incident Stress Management

teams. Our instructor was an LPC. He asked at one point, have any of

you had any experience with Borderlines. I had to laugh out loud! He

was relating this to drowning people who want to pull down their rescuer

to climb on top of them. The rescuer will do whatever it takes,

including backing away and letting them go under to maintain his own

safety.

I asked him how many Borderlines he was willing to treat at a time. I

have several friends and associates who are counselors, and all of them

restrict the number of BPD pts they will treat. This gentleman answered

at once " I don t treat Borderlines. "

So, if it were my therapist making such a statement, I would ask the

question, " How many Borderlines have you treated? In fact, how many

are you treating presently? "

If the answer is none, or I don t treat BPD s, then I would say gently,

then know what the hell you are talking about before you talk nonsense.

Licensed Professional Counselors sometimes will not deal with these

folks because they are so difficult. So don t blandly toss out such

advice, unless you have treated BPD s and BP families and really know

what it is you are suggesting.

In responce to the other part of your thread, yes, my mom died in July

of 2009. There was a mixture of feelings, many associated with FOG. I

was sad, relieved, mad, disappointed that she was BP to the end, that I

was never able to fix her.

I have recently been seeing my T for severe depression. Actually just

been feeling alive again for about a month. In looking back at my

journal notes, I realized it was a year to the week after mom s death I

talked to my T and she said " I think you are depressed. "

That turns out to have been an understatement. I was so profoundly

depressed that she was worried about me being alone.

So, yea, it affects you.

This does not mean I think you should be a clone to her till she dies ,

then try for your own life.

I would encourage this: Make your choices based on what you need to do,

what is best for you, and what is right. Choose, knowing she is

mentally ill, that you did not cause it, that you cannot change it, that

the bad situations and troubled relationships are her choice, and not

yours.

Then, forgive yourself for those hard choices, and make peace with your

self about it.

That will make the time of her loss easier. Not easy, for sick or not,

she is still your mother, and you will grieve her loss. You will

grieve that at last, there is no longer any chance she will somehow heal

enough to become the real mom you wanted.

But when the time comes, grieve, forgive yourself, and forgive her, and

be at peace.

Doug

>

> I've talked before on this thread about what my feelings might be if

Nada died. Sad yes, because I know that she does love me, and she even

did many amazing things for me, but also free, and relieved, because

then I wouldn't have to do the work it takes to have her in my life

anymore.

>

> But I believe there's a flip side to all this: my therapist, for one,

believes that if we don't resolve issues with people while they're

alive, we are stuck with those same issues once the person is gone. Now,

I disagree with her on this, because I believe that, on my end, I've

worked out the issues as much as is possible. Nada is always going to be

her crazy-ass self, and that can never be resolved, only managed.

>

> For those of you whose Nadas have died, did it bring you peace, or

merely problems of a different sort?

>

[Guest guest]

I would also say wow! I've wondered about this many times, both whether my

Nada's death would bring any relief, and also the concern about potential

haunting. When mine goes out of town, I occasionally have fantasies about her

never coming home, whether she just disappears into the ether or wrecks her car

or whatever. It's taken me years to try to let go of the guilt for even

thinking such thoughts... But I'm working on it.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Annie2 and Yodababy, it's nice to know others think about this. If I

were a complete skeptic and didn't believe the spirit goes on after death, the

whole issue would be irrelevant. I've brought this topic up before on this

list and it's rare that anyone says they've had trouble so that's good news.

>

> I would also say wow! I've wondered about this many times, both whether my

Nada's death would bring any relief, and also the concern about potential

haunting. When mine goes out of town, I occasionally have fantasies about her

never coming home, whether she just disappears into the ether or wrecks her car

or whatever. It's taken me years to try to let go of the guilt for even

thinking such thoughts... But I'm working on it.

>

[Guest guest]

I went through different emotions. I never cried and I wasn't in shock. It was

half expected because she had emphysema, but she died of a massive heart attack.

In more ways than one, she committed suicide. She liked being an invalid and

dependent on my father. But I was first numb and a little relieved, then I was

really angry -- where I think I was for about a year (she died in 2007). Now,

I'm sad most of the time. Not because she died, but because the realization

that I have no mother and never had a mother finally hit me and it doesn't feel

fair. I mean, it's foot-stomping, screaming fit, crying not fair. I hate the

feeling of being abandoned. I think it hit me when she was a live, but when she

was here, it was easier for me to have hope that she might actually be a decent

mother someday. I guess I had hope that she might actually figure out she was a

mother and care about me.

If your Nada has died, did it bring you any peace?

I've talked before on this thread about what my feelings might be if Nada died.

Sad yes, because I know that she does love me, and she even did many amazing

things for me, but also free, and relieved, because then I wouldn't have to do

the work it takes to have her in my life anymore.

But I believe there's a flip side to all this: my therapist, for one, believes

that if we don't resolve issues with people while they're alive, we are stuck

with those same issues once the person is gone. Now, I disagree with her on

this, because I believe that, on my end, I've worked out the issues as much as

is possible. Nada is always going to be her crazy-ass self, and that can never

be resolved, only managed.

For those of you whose Nadas have died, did it bring you peace, or merely

problems of a different sort?

[Guest guest]

My nada died 2 wks ago. I haven't cried and also, was not in shock. She,

too, had emphysema and many other afflictions and she, too, liked being an

invalid and dependent on fada. My biggest sorrow, I think, is that she

spent her entire life wasted in being angry, bitter and miserable.

Laurie

In a message dated 3/16/2011 6:42:47 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

Hummingbird1298@... writes:

I went through different emotions. I never cried and I wasn't in shock. It

was half expected because she had emphysema, but she died of a massive

heart attack. In more ways than one, she committed suicide. She liked being an

invalid and dependent on my father. But I was first numb and a little

relieved, then I was really angry -- where I think I was for about a year (she

died in 2007). Now, I'm sad most of the time. Not because she died, but

because the realization that I have no mother and never had a mother finally

hit me and it doesn't feel fair. I mean, it's foot-stomping, screaming fit,

crying not fair. I hate the feeling of being abandoned. I think it hit me

when she was a live, but when she was here, it was easier for me to have hope

that she might actually be a decent mother someday. I guess I had hope

that she might actually figure out she was a mother and care about me.

If your Nada has died, did it bring you any

peace?

I've talked before on this thread about what my feelings might be if Nada

died. Sad yes, because I know that she does love me, and she even did many

amazing things for me, but also free, and relieved, because then I wouldn't

have to do the work it takes to have her in my life anymore.

But I believe there's a flip side to all this: my therapist, for one,

believes that if we don't resolve issues with people while they're alive, we

are stuck with those same issues once the person is gone. Now, I disagree

with her on this, because I believe that, on my end, I've worked out the

issues as much as is possible. Nada is always going to be her crazy-ass self,

and that can never be resolved, only managed.

For those of you whose Nadas have died, did it bring you peace, or merely

problems of a different sort?

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Guest guest]

Every time I post on this board, I'm overwhelmed by the thoughtful,

honest, intelligent responses that come back. We must be a bastion of

logic, empathy, and intelligence on the internet! This thread has been

no exception. I had so many responses while reading your posts; there

are many I'd like to address specifically.

, I'm sorry about your recent loss. You wrote that you were angry,

" Not because she died, but because the realization that I have no mother

and never had a mother finally hit me and it doesn't feel fair. I mean,

it's foot-stomping, screaming fit, crying not fair. "

I hate this feeling. My mother is still alive, and I have this feeling

sometimes. I wonder if it will intensify upon her death. I wish you

peaceful days ahead. Laurie, your loss is also recent, and I'm hoping

your healing is imminent as well.

AFB, I often feel the effects of a broadcast, but I think I tend to

rationalize it as being closer to what Kazam wrote: " I sometimes think I

wish Nada would die so I would not feel the anxiety of what if's. " That

is, I don't know if the bad energy I get is directly from Nada, or

manufactured out of my own anxiety, the constant wondering what stunt

she'll pull next. Either way, when she dies, my hope is that these

feelings will go away.

Doug, your point about therapists who have not, in fact, treated

borderlines is well-taken. One of my first therapists (I only saw her a

few times before I bailed), was listening to me talk about some

manipulative teasing Nada was doing to taunt me into fighting with her

about something entirely unrelated. After listening to my story, the

therapist just looked at me and said, " Why don't you just tell her to

knock it off? Just look at her and say, 'Knock it off, Ma.' " " Obviously,

this therapist had no idea what she was talking about. You wrote, "

Make your choices based on what you need to do, what is best for you,

and what is right. Choose, knowing she is

mentally ill, that you did not cause it, that you cannot change it, that

the bad situations and troubled relationships are her choice, and not

yours. Then, forgive yourself for those hard choices, and make peace

with yourself about it. " Amazing advice that should probably be put up

on a plaque and sold alongside the Kahlil Gibran spiels.

Marilyn, I think this: "

I think we all should look at our nadas as severely wounded children in

adults' bodies and as such feel empathy for them and let it go. I have

done that these last few days and it seems to help me, " is a great way

to work on forgiveness, not for our Nadas' sakes, but for our own. I am

such an angry person, and I would like to stop being this way. It's hard

to be truly angry at a wounded child, which is more or less what Nada

is, deep down.

[Guest guest]

When my stepmom dies, and that will be a while because the women in her family

have a tendency to live well into their 90's, I don't think I will feel

anything..maybe some relief.  I will probably do the dutiful stepdaughter

thing,

but that's it.

Janet

 

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Wed, March 16, 2011 8:41:10 AM

Subject: Re: If your Nada has died, did it bring you any

peace?

 

Every time I post on this board, I'm overwhelmed by the thoughtful,

honest, intelligent responses that come back. We must be a bastion of

logic, empathy, and intelligence on the internet! This thread has been

no exception. I had so many responses while reading your posts; there

are many I'd like to address specifically.

, I'm sorry about your recent loss. You wrote that you were angry,

" Not because she died, but because the realization that I have no mother

and never had a mother finally hit me and it doesn't feel fair. I mean,

it's foot-stomping, screaming fit, crying not fair. "

I hate this feeling. My mother is still alive, and I have this feeling

sometimes. I wonder if it will intensify upon her death. I wish you

peaceful days ahead. Laurie, your loss is also recent, and I'm hoping

your healing is imminent as well.

AFB, I often feel the effects of a broadcast, but I think I tend to

rationalize it as being closer to what Kazam wrote: " I sometimes think I

wish Nada would die so I would not feel the anxiety of what if's. " That

is, I don't know if the bad energy I get is directly from Nada, or

manufactured out of my own anxiety, the constant wondering what stunt

she'll pull next. Either way, when she dies, my hope is that these

feelings will go away.

Doug, your point about therapists who have not, in fact, treated

borderlines is well-taken. One of my first therapists (I only saw her a

few times before I bailed), was listening to me talk about some

manipulative teasing Nada was doing to taunt me into fighting with her

about something entirely unrelated. After listening to my story, the

therapist just looked at me and said, " Why don't you just tell her to

knock it off? Just look at her and say, 'Knock it off, Ma.' " " Obviously,

this therapist had no idea what she was talking about. You wrote, "

Make your choices based on what you need to do, what is best for you,

and what is right. Choose, knowing she is

mentally ill, that you did not cause it, that you cannot change it, that

the bad situations and troubled relationships are her choice, and not

yours. Then, forgive yourself for those hard choices, and make peace

with yourself about it. " Amazing advice that should probably be put up

on a plaque and sold alongside the Kahlil Gibran spiels.

Marilyn, I think this: "

I think we all should look at our nadas as severely wounded children in

adults' bodies and as such feel empathy for them and let it go. I have

done that these last few days and it seems to help me, " is a great way

to work on forgiveness, not for our Nadas' sakes, but for our own. I am

such an angry person, and I would like to stop being this way. It's hard

to be truly angry at a wounded child, which is more or less what Nada

is, deep down.

[Guest guest]

My condolences on losing your nada, Laurie. Its not easy when your parent dies,

even one who has been chronically abusive to you. It just isn't. I hope you

will gain long-overdue peace, and healing.

-Annie

>

> My nada died 2 wks ago. I haven't cried and also, was not in shock. She,

> too, had emphysema and many other afflictions and she, too, liked being an

> invalid and dependent on fada. My biggest sorrow, I think, is that she

> spent her entire life wasted in being angry, bitter and miserable.

>

> Laurie

>

[Guest guest]

Amen!

Laurie

In a message dated 3/16/2011 10:33:23 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,

dreamytouches@... writes:

When my stepmom dies, and that will be a while because the women in her

family

have a tendency to live well into their 90's, I don't think I will feel

anything..maybe some relief. I will probably do the dutiful stepdaughter

thing,

but that's it.

Janet

Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

________________________________

From: Jgar <_vespacarina@..._ (mailto:vespacarina@...) >

To: _WTOAdultChildren1 _

(mailto:WTOAdultChildren1 )

Sent: Wed, March 16, 2011 8:41:10 AM

Subject: Re: If your Nada has died, did it bring you

any

peace?

Every time I post on this board, I'm overwhelmed by the thoughtful,

honest, intelligent responses that come back. We must be a bastion of

logic, empathy, and intelligence on the internet! This thread has been

no exception. I had so many responses while reading your posts; there

are many I'd like to address specifically.

, I'm sorry about your recent loss. You wrote that you were angry,

" Not because she died, but because the realization that I have no mother

and never had a mother finally hit me and it doesn't feel fair. I mean,

it's foot-stomping, screaming fit, crying not fair. "

I hate this feeling. My mother is still alive, and I have this feeling

sometimes. I wonder if it will intensify upon her death. I wish you

peaceful days ahead. Laurie, your loss is also recent, and I'm hoping

your healing is imminent as well.

AFB, I often feel the effects of a broadcast, but I think I tend to

rationalize it as being closer to what Kazam wrote: " I sometimes think I

wish Nada would die so I would not feel the anxiety of what if's. " That

is, I don't know if the bad energy I get is directly from Nada, or

manufactured out of my own anxiety, the constant wondering what stunt

she'll pull next. Either way, when she dies, my hope is that these

feelings will go away.

Doug, your point about therapists who have not, in fact, treated

borderlines is well-taken. One of my first therapists (I only saw her a

few times before I bailed), was listening to me talk about some

manipulative teasing Nada was doing to taunt me into fighting with her

about something entirely unrelated. After listening to my story, the

therapist just looked at me and said, " Why don't you just tell her to

knock it off? Just look at her and say, 'Knock it off, Ma.' " " Obviously,

this therapist had no idea what she was talking about. You wrote, "

Make your choices based on what you need to do, what is best for you,

and what is right. Choose, knowing she is

mentally ill, that you did not cause it, that you cannot change it, that

the bad situations and troubled relationships are her choice, and not

yours. Then, forgive yourself for those hard choices, and make peace

with yourself about it. " Amazing advice that should probably be put up

on a plaque and sold alongside the Kahlil Gibran spiels.

Marilyn, I think this: "

I think we all should look at our nadas as severely wounded children in

adults' bodies and as such feel empathy for them and let it go. I have

done that these last few days and it seems to help me, " is a great way

to work on forgiveness, not for our Nadas' sakes, but for our own. I am

such an angry person, and I would like to stop being this way. It's hard

to be truly angry at a wounded child, which is more or less what Nada

is, deep down.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[Guest guest]

Amen...that's why they are pd's!

My nada is very sick and I sense she will die soon.

The anniversary of her husband's (my dad) death is

in May. Who would even attempt to 'work out'

things with a nada who is so close to death?

Give me a break! haha. Why try to make a pig sing?

It's not possible and it only aggravates the pig.

babyfoggy

>

> Hi jgar:

> This is a very interesting post and I do have experience from the fada

standpoint. The minute a Flying Monkey let me know that fada had passed, I felt

stirrings of liberation. Your therapist would probably have some name for my

unresolved issues that only allowed my freedom contingent upon fada's death, but

I don't think it's all in my head. When there is a negative person, as closely

connected as father/daughter, continually and unremittingly thinking of you

negatively, as a bad person, those " vibes " are being broadcast spiritually, on

some level, and I always felt them. But after he died, the broadcast stopped.

>

> I have seen positive changes in my life and health now that fada has moved on

to wherever he's gone. As for your therapist thinking it's necessary to work

things out with a person before they die, he/she needs to add " if they are of

sound mind, " to that sentence. I believe you have it right--that as a KO, I can

only work out my end and it will NEVER be resolved with a PD, that's why they're

PDs!

> Kind regards,

> AFB

>