Surviving the Borderline Parent New to the group

[Guest guest]

Hi all! I am married to a man that has BPD. Before we met I was head

deep in recovery from my past but I didn't know what was wrong with my

mother just that there was something really really wrong with my

childhood. I couldn't understand why I would always find myself in

unhealthy relationships. To make a long story short a friend of mine

introduced me to the book " Stop Walking on Eggshells " ; her ex-husband

has BPD. Many of the traits, I should say most of the traits also hit

home when it came to my mother. So I bought the book " Surviving the

Borderline Parent " ; I felt that someone had documented my life! How it

has affected me, how I see my reality, all of it. Even though I have

worked through alot of anger and have forgiven my parents for their

shortcomings as well as myself; since children blame themselves as it

is. I have found that I am pissed off again! I guess I just went a layer

deeper, but I thought that I had worked through and let go, in fact it

seemed easier to forgive when I didn't really know what was wrong. Its

like being able to forgive her when she is sick but being angry if I was

told she has cancer [:-/] I'm really angry at the disorder itself not

the people who have it. What scares me is that I am in contact with

these people every day and I cant even explain that I am not angry with

them, I'm angry at the illness and I'm having a hard time separating the

behavior from the person. If I told them that I would be better off

living in a cave until ww3 cooled down. I will be shopping around for a

therapist because this is pent up anger, possibly rage from the

inability to confront the issue and I just pulled some scabs off of old

wounds. In the meantime I am wondering if anyone has any feedback, or a

similar situation. Oh and I also just joined a group for non-bp and a bp

partner so if my husband is mentioned it is only in relation to the

similarities of my childhood.