Oh wow

[Guest guest]

BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

[Guest guest]

This woman the article writes about could have a depressive disorder, or a

personality disorder, or she could have scrambled her brain through years of

substance abuse. Or all of the above. Or something else entirely, like a brain

tumor or traumatic brain injury. Or schizophrenia. There's not really enough

information in that article to guess, in my opinion.

But what a horrible tragedy when a person decides to kill herself in such a way

that other, totally innocent people are put in harm's way and even killed as a

result.

Such behavior illustrates why those with bpd should NOT be caring for children

or even be around children unsupervised, since bpd does have a relatively high

occurrence of suicide threats and completed suicides.

I remember several occasions where I thought my enraged nada was going to kill

both of us while she was driving. She'd be in a red-faced, eyes-bugged-out,

spittle-flying rage, screaming at and staring at me (instead of at the road)

while accelerating, jerking the wheel erratically, swerving between lanes,

drifting into the oncoming lane, and I'd be so traumatized afterward I'd be

white and shaking from shock and vomiting.

Its like she wanted to kill me, even if it meant killing herself to do it.

-Annie

>

> BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

>

> http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Wow Annie, I'm so sorry that happened to you. No wonder you don't want to

talk to her. Who would want to ever speak to someone who did that to them?

Just wow. Sending that little girl a million hugs.

On Wed, Mar 16, 2011 at 5:23 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> This woman the article writes about could have a depressive disorder, or a

> personality disorder, or she could have scrambled her brain through years of

> substance abuse. Or all of the above. Or something else entirely, like a

> brain tumor or traumatic brain injury. Or schizophrenia. There's not really

> enough information in that article to guess, in my opinion.

>

> But what a horrible tragedy when a person decides to kill herself in such a

> way that other, totally innocent people are put in harm's way and even

> killed as a result.

>

> Such behavior illustrates why those with bpd should NOT be caring for

> children or even be around children unsupervised, since bpd does have a

> relatively high occurrence of suicide threats and completed suicides.

>

> I remember several occasions where I thought my enraged nada was going to

> kill both of us while she was driving. She'd be in a red-faced,

> eyes-bugged-out, spittle-flying rage, screaming at and staring at me

> (instead of at the road) while accelerating, jerking the wheel erratically,

> swerving between lanes, drifting into the oncoming lane, and I'd be so

> traumatized afterward I'd be white and shaking from shock and vomiting.

>

> Its like she wanted to kill me, even if it meant killing herself to do it.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> >

> > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!

" Such behavior illustrates why those with bpd should NOT be caring for children

or even be around children unsupervised, since bpd does have a relatively high

occurrence of suicide threats and completed suicides.

DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!

I remember several occasions where I thought my enraged nada was going to kill

both of us while she was driving. She'd be in a red-faced, eyes-bugged-out,

spittle-flying rage, screaming at and staring at me (instead of at the road)

while accelerating, jerking the wheel erratically, swerving between lanes,

drifting into the oncoming lane, and I'd be so traumatized afterward I'd be

white and shaking from shock and vomiting. "

DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!

I did NOT know that suicide threats and seeing " a mother " with a gun in her

hand in her mouth (at her head, etc.) and/or pills, stomach pumps, knives,

bloody kneees/legs/arms were ABNORMAL things for a parent to do until I was 38

years old!!!! I had grown up with that my whole @#%$@$#@%$ life. I swear...

why *I* never did any of them is beyond me... I guess I knew (deep down inside)

but I thought I was just a coward. This is what Nada raised... a ptsd suicide

christened fear basket. Kudo's!

As to the 'car thing'... hell x1000 yeahs! She still does this. That is why I

refuse to ride with her anywhere, anytime since 2008. Last time I was in the

car w/her she pulled this crap and my child and I were her hostages. Never EVER

againg.

Ugh... I wanna vomit now.

Lynnette

> >

> > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> >

> > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Oh my god Lynette, I'm so sorry she put you through that.

Hugs

On Wed, Mar 16, 2011 at 5:50 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!

>

>

> " Such behavior illustrates why those with bpd should NOT be caring for

> children or even be around children unsupervised, since bpd does have a

> relatively high occurrence of suicide threats and completed suicides.

>

> DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!

>

>

> I remember several occasions where I thought my enraged nada was going to

> kill both of us while she was driving. She'd be in a red-faced,

> eyes-bugged-out, spittle-flying rage, screaming at and staring at me

> (instead of at the road) while accelerating, jerking the wheel erratically,

> swerving between lanes, drifting into the oncoming lane, and I'd be so

> traumatized afterward I'd be white and shaking from shock and vomiting. "

>

> DITTO! DITTO! DITTO!

>

> I did NOT know that suicide threats and seeing " a mother " with a gun in her

> hand in her mouth (at her head, etc.) and/or pills, stomach pumps, knives,

> bloody kneees/legs/arms were ABNORMAL things for a parent to do until I was

> 38 years old!!!! I had grown up with that my whole @#%$@$#@%$ life. I

> swear... why *I* never did any of them is beyond me... I guess I knew (deep

> down inside) but I thought I was just a coward. This is what Nada raised...

> a ptsd suicide christened fear basket. Kudo's!

>

> As to the 'car thing'... hell x1000 yeahs! She still does this. That is why

> I refuse to ride with her anywhere, anytime since 2008. Last time I was in

> the car w/her she pulled this crap and my child and I were her hostages.

> Never EVER againg.

>

> Ugh... I wanna vomit now.

>

> Lynnette

>

>

> > >

> > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > >

> > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Transparent moment here.

When I read your post, I immediately said to myself, " oh gosh... it really

wasn't THAT bad... I survived! "

But wow! YES IT WAS THAT BAD! IT WAS ABUSE. HORRIFIC, ONGOING, PSYCHOLOGICAL

WARFARE AT THE HANDS OF A CRAZY WOMAN I WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL MOTHER! NOBODY

SAVED ME. NOBODY BELIEVED ME. I WAS ALWAYS TO BLAME FOR HER ACTIONS. IT'S NOT

FAIR. IT'S NOT RIGHT. I'D BE SOMEBODY ENTIRELY DIFFERENT TODAY IF I DIDN'T

ALWAYS HAVE TO WONDER IF I MADE SOMEBODY REALLY REALLY REALLY UPSET IF THEY'D

KILL THEMSELF OR ME.

Ok... that is how I really feel.

It was bad. It is bad. It will never NOT be bad. I can choose to not react to

her but she'll continue to be 'her.'

Lynnette

> > > >

> > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > >

> > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Yes it was and I'm so so so sorry.

On Wed, Mar 16, 2011 at 7:44 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> Transparent moment here.

>

> When I read your post, I immediately said to myself, " oh gosh... it really

> wasn't THAT bad... I survived! "

>

> But wow! YES IT WAS THAT BAD! IT WAS ABUSE. HORRIFIC, ONGOING,

> PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE AT THE HANDS OF A CRAZY WOMAN I WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL

> MOTHER! NOBODY SAVED ME. NOBODY BELIEVED ME. I WAS ALWAYS TO BLAME FOR HER

> ACTIONS. IT'S NOT FAIR. IT'S NOT RIGHT. I'D BE SOMEBODY ENTIRELY DIFFERENT

> TODAY IF I DIDN'T ALWAYS HAVE TO WONDER IF I MADE SOMEBODY REALLY REALLY

> REALLY UPSET IF THEY'D KILL THEMSELF OR ME.

>

> Ok... that is how I really feel.

>

> It was bad. It is bad. It will never NOT be bad. I can choose to not react

> to her but she'll continue to be 'her.'

>

> Lynnette

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > > >

> > > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

Big hugs to you, Lynnette, Annie, and all of you whose nadas put them through

this trama - the word doesn't even begin to convey the torture of it all. What

kind of evil people are these that would threaten or even attempt to end their

own or their child's life as punishment for some real or imagined offense?

My nada is also bi-polar and becomes hypomanic, so she's done some really

stupidly dangerous things, but nothing that competes with this. Although, my

NPD fada made nada think he had overdosed on tranqs at least once that I

remember. And after fada passed, nada " forgot " to take a medication for a

serious, potentionally life-threatening disease - FOR A YEAR. To me, that

qualifies as a prolonged suicide attempt, but was far less dramatic, at least

until the disease progressed to the point of surgery. And I had to take care of

her in the hospital for 2 weeks, then in my home for another 2. I'm getting a

headache just thinking about it.

Wow, this triggered a memory for me, too. I remember my parents having a huge

row while driving on a busy highway and nada tried to jump out of the car. Fada

caught her by the wrist and pulled her back inside, so I guess nada wasn't

trying too hard ;P Talk about a drama mama!

Joy

> > >

> > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > >

> > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

The last time my nada scared the crap out of me in the car was when I was

driving and nada was in the passenger seat next to me. Nada believed that she

saw a truck " coming at us " when I was passing through an intersection. She

actually took hold of the steering wheel and tried to turn it toward her. I had

to hold tight and scream at her to STOP IT!

Nada has become very visually impaired over the last 10 years and can't drive

anymore, and it has always made her very, very nervous for me to drive her, for

God knows what reason.

I am a very safe and excellent driver; I've never caused an accident or a

near-miss, or been in a major accident (I don't count the ones where I was

waiting at an intersection for the light to change and got hit from behind.

That happened twice. Very low impact each time, no damage.) All I can assume

is that nada must be projecting her own nervousness and (possibly) a subliminal

wish to kill me, onto me. She thinks I'm too nervous to drive and will kill us,

seems like.

Anyway, I had to really let loose and scream at her to never, ever do that again

or she'd never be in a car with me driving again. It seemed to penetrate that I

was serious, and she didn't try that again, although she shrieked in terror a

couple of other times at what she thought were cars or trucks bearing down on

us, but which weren't there. (Hallucinating, perhaps?) The sudden screaming

rattled me, but not as much as having her try to jerk the steering wheel out of

my control.

Fortunately now that I am in virtual no contact, that issue doesn't come up any

longer.

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > >

> > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

Geez, I don't want to think about my fada's aggressive driving...Colorado

major highways during rush hour, while we were on vacation. Fun times,

riiiiiiiight.

I wonder if it occured to him to think about the 6 kids in the backseat, or

his wife in the front passenger seat, while driving like that...

On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 3:27 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> The last time my nada scared the crap out of me in the car was when I was

> driving and nada was in the passenger seat next to me. Nada believed that

> she saw a truck " coming at us " when I was passing through an intersection.

> She actually took hold of the steering wheel and tried to turn it toward

> her. I had to hold tight and scream at her to STOP IT!

>

> Nada has become very visually impaired over the last 10 years and can't

> drive anymore, and it has always made her very, very nervous for me to drive

> her, for God knows what reason.

>

> I am a very safe and excellent driver; I've never caused an accident or a

> near-miss, or been in a major accident (I don't count the ones where I was

> waiting at an intersection for the light to change and got hit from behind.

> That happened twice. Very low impact each time, no damage.) All I can assume

> is that nada must be projecting her own nervousness and (possibly) a

> subliminal wish to kill me, onto me. She thinks I'm too nervous to drive and

> will kill us, seems like.

>

> Anyway, I had to really let loose and scream at her to never, ever do that

> again or she'd never be in a car with me driving again. It seemed to

> penetrate that I was serious, and she didn't try that again, although she

> shrieked in terror a couple of other times at what she thought were cars or

> trucks bearing down on us, but which weren't there. (Hallucinating,

> perhaps?) The sudden screaming rattled me, but not as much as having her try

> to jerk the steering wheel out of my control.

>

> Fortunately now that I am in virtual no contact, that issue doesn't come up

> any longer.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > > >

> > > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

Annie, When you talk about the subliminal wish to kill us - I hear you. I

believe the same of my nada. But I don't know really what else to think

about it. In the book The Family Crucible, it states that it takes 2 to

cause a suicide - 1 to wish them dead and 1 to commit suicide. I believe my

nada and bada both wanted me to DIE DIE DIE - but I don't know why they did

or why I think that. . .

On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 2:30 PM, Holly Byers

wrote:

> Geez, I don't want to think about my fada's aggressive driving...Colorado

> major highways during rush hour, while we were on vacation. Fun times,

> riiiiiiiight.

>

> I wonder if it occured to him to think about the 6 kids in the backseat, or

> his wife in the front passenger seat, while driving like that...

>

> On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 3:27 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

>

> >

> >

> > The last time my nada scared the crap out of me in the car was when I was

> > driving and nada was in the passenger seat next to me. Nada believed that

> > she saw a truck " coming at us " when I was passing through an

> intersection.

> > She actually took hold of the steering wheel and tried to turn it toward

> > her. I had to hold tight and scream at her to STOP IT!

> >

> > Nada has become very visually impaired over the last 10 years and can't

> > drive anymore, and it has always made her very, very nervous for me to

> drive

> > her, for God knows what reason.

> >

> > I am a very safe and excellent driver; I've never caused an accident or a

> > near-miss, or been in a major accident (I don't count the ones where I

> was

> > waiting at an intersection for the light to change and got hit from

> behind.

> > That happened twice. Very low impact each time, no damage.) All I can

> assume

> > is that nada must be projecting her own nervousness and (possibly) a

> > subliminal wish to kill me, onto me. She thinks I'm too nervous to drive

> and

> > will kill us, seems like.

> >

> > Anyway, I had to really let loose and scream at her to never, ever do

> that

> > again or she'd never be in a car with me driving again. It seemed to

> > penetrate that I was serious, and she didn't try that again, although she

> > shrieked in terror a couple of other times at what she thought were cars

> or

> > trucks bearing down on us, but which weren't there. (Hallucinating,

> > perhaps?) The sudden screaming rattled me, but not as much as having her

> try

> > to jerk the steering wheel out of my control.

> >

> > Fortunately now that I am in virtual no contact, that issue doesn't come

> up

> > any longer.

> >

> > -Annie

> >

> >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > > > >

> > > > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

[Guest guest]

When I was learning to drive, my stepmom and I went on a trip to the " city "   on

the interstate highway, and she let me drive.  She didn't want me driving in

the

city though, so right before we got to the city, she told me to pull over on

the side of the road so she could take over, and I did.  I looked in my

mirrors

to make sure it was safe to do so, and then pulled over, under an overpass. 

She

got mad at me and said, " You weren't supposed to pull over there! "   She didn't

give me specific instructions, just to pull over.  Just one more thing I could

never do right.

Jaent

 

 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own

understanding.

 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.

 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.

Proverbs 3:5-8

________________________________

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Sent: Thu, March 17, 2011 3:27:00 PM

Subject: Re: Oh wow

 

The last time my nada scared the crap out of me in the car was when I was

driving and nada was in the passenger seat next to me. Nada believed that she

saw a truck " coming at us " when I was passing through an intersection. She

actually took hold of the steering wheel and tried to turn it toward her. I had

to hold tight and scream at her to STOP IT!

Nada has become very visually impaired over the last 10 years and can't drive

anymore, and it has always made her very, very nervous for me to drive her, for

God knows what reason.

I am a very safe and excellent driver; I've never caused an accident or a

near-miss, or been in a major accident (I don't count the ones where I was

waiting at an intersection for the light to change and got hit from behind. That

happened twice. Very low impact each time, no damage.) All I can assume is that

nada must be projecting her own nervousness and (possibly) a subliminal wish to

kill me, onto me. She thinks I'm too nervous to drive and will kill us, seems

like.

Anyway, I had to really let loose and scream at her to never, ever do that again

or she'd never be in a car with me driving again. It seemed to penetrate that I

was serious, and she didn't try that again, although she shrieked in terror a

couple of other times at what she thought were cars or trucks bearing down on

us, but which weren't there. (Hallucinating, perhaps?) The sudden screaming

rattled me, but not as much as having her try to jerk the steering wheel out of

my control.

Fortunately now that I am in virtual no contact, that issue doesn't come up any

longer.

-Annie

> > > >

> > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > >

> > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

I'm having such a hard time with this right now... I think I opened a can of

memories better left closed and denied.

" trama - the word doesn't even begin to convey the torture of it all. What kind

of evil people are these that would threaten or even attempt to end their own or

their child's life as punishment for some real or imagined offense? "

I really was tortured... wasn't I????

" Chronic. Long-term. Ongoing. Abuse. Of the worst kind. " Those are my

therapists words from about a year ago. Words that sneak in and hit me when I'm

not looking. Those are the words that whisper on the wind when I'm feeling

blue. " you're not worthy of anything. Doesn't matter what you've accomplished.

Doesn't matter what others think you are. Your mother didn't care about you.

She denied you so much and played psych warfare games on you because she could.

You are ONLY here because she was bored. Your sole purpose is to fill her

needs. Period. "

Guns. Knives, Drugs. Alcohol. Ghettos. Abusive men. Childhood rapes.

Denial. Blame. Projection. Guilt. Failure.

Those are the words I'm hearing in a laughing mocking voice right now. They are

her. You are here. You are them.

Spiraling today.... not so far gone as to not come back... but way in over my

head for the rest of the day.

I hate her.

Lynnette

> > > >

> > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > >

> > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

I hate her too and you are beautiful. Don't believe it. Those voices are her

projections - the reality is you are worthy, wonderful and (I need a w for

this) ONE MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN HER AND PROBABLY THE ONLY THING ON THIS

EARTH THAT SHE DID THAT WAS NOT A MISTAKE

On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 3:06 PM, yp_lynnette_cameron_park <

h_l_maston@...> wrote:

>

>

> I'm having such a hard time with this right now... I think I opened a can

> of memories better left closed and denied.

>

>

> " trama - the word doesn't even begin to convey the torture of it all. What

> kind of evil people are these that would threaten or even attempt to end

> their own or their child's life as punishment for some real or imagined

> offense? "

>

> I really was tortured... wasn't I????

>

> " Chronic. Long-term. Ongoing. Abuse. Of the worst kind. " Those are my

> therapists words from about a year ago. Words that sneak in and hit me when

> I'm not looking. Those are the words that whisper on the wind when I'm

> feeling blue. " you're not worthy of anything. Doesn't matter what you've

> accomplished. Doesn't matter what others think you are. Your mother didn't

> care about you. She denied you so much and played psych warfare games on you

> because she could. You are ONLY here because she was bored. Your sole

> purpose is to fill her needs. Period. "

>

> Guns. Knives, Drugs. Alcohol. Ghettos. Abusive men. Childhood rapes.

> Denial. Blame. Projection. Guilt. Failure.

>

> Those are the words I'm hearing in a laughing mocking voice right now. They

> are her. You are here. You are them.

>

> Spiraling today.... not so far gone as to not come back... but way in over

> my head for the rest of the day.

>

> I hate her.

>

> Lynnette

>

>

>

> > > > >

> > > > > BPD? My God I can't believe the things these people do.

> > > > >

> > > > > http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148 & sid=14756623

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

[Guest guest]

I guess I will have to cheerfully disagree with that theory, that it takes two

to cause a suicide. I just don't buy that at all. To me, that is co-dependent

thinking.

I don't care if my nada wishes I were dead; I'm not going to give her that

satisfaction!

And if she should decide to kill herself, that has nothing to do with me. I

don't wish her dead, I just want her to leave me alone if she can't behave like

a normal human being.

But I do think that in my nada's case, there is possibly a subconscious death

wish coming from her and directed at me. I can't explain the things she's done

to me in any other way. She would never admit it, I'm sure, but how else do you

explain her actions in the car, and other violent acts she perpetrated?

-Annie

>

> Annie, When you talk about the subliminal wish to kill us - I hear you. I

> believe the same of my nada. But I don't know really what else to think

> about it. In the book The Family Crucible, it states that it takes 2 to

> cause a suicide - 1 to wish them dead and 1 to commit suicide. I believe my

> nada and bada both wanted me to DIE DIE DIE - but I don't know why they did

> or why I think that. . .

>

[Guest guest]

I think it was true in my family - between age about 11 and 15 I was a

suicide bomb.

On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 3:14 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I guess I will have to cheerfully disagree with that theory, that it takes

> two to cause a suicide. I just don't buy that at all. To me, that is

> co-dependent thinking.

>

> I don't care if my nada wishes I were dead; I'm not going to give her that

> satisfaction!

>

> And if she should decide to kill herself, that has nothing to do with me. I

> don't wish her dead, I just want her to leave me alone if she can't behave

> like a normal human being.

>

> But I do think that in my nada's case, there is possibly a subconscious

> death wish coming from her and directed at me. I can't explain the things

> she's done to me in any other way. She would never admit it, I'm sure, but

> how else do you explain her actions in the car, and other violent acts she

> perpetrated?

>

> -Annie

>

>

> >

> > Annie, When you talk about the subliminal wish to kill us - I hear you. I

> > believe the same of my nada. But I don't know really what else to think

> > about it. In the book The Family Crucible, it states that it takes 2 to

> > cause a suicide - 1 to wish them dead and 1 to commit suicide. I believe

> my

> > nada and bada both wanted me to DIE DIE DIE - but I don't know why they

> did

> > or why I think that. . .

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

If that theory resonates with you, then, that's an important theory for you.

Perhaps in your situation that is relevant. I can see how a child could be

driven to feel suicidal by continuous, chronic, hateful, toxic treatment by a

parent or an entire foo. Children have little ability to withstand devastating

emotional assault by parents.

And different individuals have different circumstances, and different levels of

innate resilience, or so I believe.

But my nada is an adult. I do not buy the idea that if my nada should choose to

kill herself (she's made a couple of threats at this point) it would be my fault

for " wishing her dead. " I'm not going to accept responsibility for her feelings

or her actions in that regard.

I refuse.

-Annie

> > >

> > > Annie, When you talk about the subliminal wish to kill us - I hear you. I

> > > believe the same of my nada. But I don't know really what else to think

> > > about it. In the book The Family Crucible, it states that it takes 2 to

> > > cause a suicide - 1 to wish them dead and 1 to commit suicide. I believe

> > my

> > > nada and bada both wanted me to DIE DIE DIE - but I don't know why they

> > did

> > > or why I think that. . .

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh annie, great point. I didn't mean at all that the suicidal nada was

wished dead by the KO. Only that as a little kid, I felt my abusers wanted

me to die.

On Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 3:35 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> If that theory resonates with you, then, that's an important theory for

> you. Perhaps in your situation that is relevant. I can see how a child could

> be driven to feel suicidal by continuous, chronic, hateful, toxic treatment

> by a parent or an entire foo. Children have little ability to withstand

> devastating emotional assault by parents.

> And different individuals have different circumstances, and different

> levels of innate resilience, or so I believe.

>

> But my nada is an adult. I do not buy the idea that if my nada should

> choose to kill herself (she's made a couple of threats at this point) it

> would be my fault for " wishing her dead. " I'm not going to accept

> responsibility for her feelings or her actions in that regard.

> I refuse.

>

> -Annie

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Annie, When you talk about the subliminal wish to kill us - I hear

> you. I

> > > > believe the same of my nada. But I don't know really what else to

> think

> > > > about it. In the book The Family Crucible, it states that it takes 2

> to

> > > > cause a suicide - 1 to wish them dead and 1 to commit suicide. I

> believe

> > > my

> > > > nada and bada both wanted me to DIE DIE DIE - but I don't know why

> they

> > > did

> > > > or why I think that. . .

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >