Newbies

[Guest guest]

So many of you. Glad you are here. Sorry you need to be. But you have

found a good place.

Welcome.

If you check the files at the left, you ll find the guidlines for the

group and a list of acronyms. Some of your questions will be answered

there.

For newbies, and oldies as well, guys we are getting lax on cleaning

out our replies again!

When you reply to a post, take a moment to delete all the stuff before

your own, otherwise we get a post with a reply to a reply to a reply to

a post, and it gets bulky to read. We have to re re re remind ourselves

from time to time.

Newbies, this is a place to help you heal. That is what we are all

about. It won t happen overnight. But it can happen.

There are many valuable resources on BPDcentral.com

If you have not yet read SWOE and the Complete Family Guide, I would

highy recommend you do so. You ll have so many Ah HA moments, and begin

to better understand what you have lived with.

So, welcome, and may we all heal.

Doug

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the welcome! I never thought I would find myself in a place like

this, but even after a few days it's made such a difference to me. I read SWOE

years ago and it absolutely, without exaggeration, changed my life. I just

recently picked up the Complete Family Guide, which led me here. Such wonderful

resources, and such a wonderful community. Thank you.

[Guest guest]

HI

I have been on this board about a year and read it regularly but haven't really

posted much. I would like to change that as I have started therapy and this has

brought up alot of anger I still feel towards Nada. And this board is the only

place (besides my T) that gets what it is about. Particularly for me as Nada

was/is high functioning and able to put act that convinces most people of her

giving nature (what a joke).

As i have done more research into PDs I think my Nada is more towards the NPD

side with some BPD throw in for good measure.

Thanks to everyone for a great community.

Nav

[Guest guest]

My nada is high functioning too, so I know how that feels. Why can't anyone

else see what is going on? It must be me!

Looking forward to hearing more from you.

Gail

>

>

> HI

>

> I have been on this board about a year and read it regularly but haven't

really posted much. I would like to change that as I have started therapy and

this has brought up alot of anger I still feel towards Nada. And this board is

the only place (besides my T) that gets what it is about. Particularly for me as

Nada was/is high functioning and able to put act that convinces most people of

her giving nature (what a joke).

>

> As i have done more research into PDs I think my Nada is more towards the NPD

side with some BPD throw in for good measure.

>

> Thanks to everyone for a great community.

>

> Nav

>

>

[Guest guest]

It seems to follow the stages of grief - denial, anger, depression,

acceptance - isn't there another one? I keep waiting for the anger stage,

but continually find myself waist deep in the depression, sadness loss

stage. I think I've been there for years. UGH

> My nada is high functioning too, so I know how that feels. Why can't

> anyone else see what is going on? It must be me!

> Looking forward to hearing more from you.

> Gail

>

>

> >

> >

> > HI

> >

> > I have been on this board about a year and read it regularly but haven't

> really posted much. I would like to change that as I have started therapy

> and this has brought up alot of anger I still feel towards Nada. And this

> board is the only place (besides my T) that gets what it is about.

> Particularly for me as Nada was/is high functioning and able to put act that

> convinces most people of her giving nature (what a joke).

> >

> > As i have done more research into PDs I think my Nada is more towards the

> NPD side with some BPD throw in for good measure.

> >

> > Thanks to everyone for a great community.

> >

> > Nav

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think I am cycling through all of them on any given day. Except for

acceptance. That seems a long way off at moment. Hopefully one day. :-)

Nav

> >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

It may help for you to think of a HF BPD as a very slick con man. They

can be charming, they can talk the patter, they can make things seem to

be that which they are not. But in the end, they are going to take you

to the cleaners. Most con men will take you financially. BP s will

take you emotionally.

Ever seen the movie " The Sting " ? In an elaborate con, they have a

dummy bookmaking joint set up. When the mark is coming, they put on a

show for him. When he leaves, everyone relaxes from character and gives

a sigh of relief.

That is very much like what they do.

Doug

>

> >

[Guest guest]

shock, denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance are the stages of grief.

They are not linear, and they are not the same for everyone. Depression

is a common effect of grief, and of being a KO.

If you spend years in the grief, without progressing, then you are

experiencing complicated grief. For that , you usually need help in

coping.

Doug

>

> It seems to follow the stages of grief - denial, anger, depression,

> acceptance - isn't there another one? I keep waiting for the anger

stage,

> but continually find myself waist deep in the depression, sadness loss

> stage. I think I've been there for years. UGH

[Guest guest]

Yep, welcome to everyone new =) Glad you did find us, but like Doug said,

sorry you have a need to =( But, just know you are not alone. WE GET IT!

My nada is also high functioning. It's awful because she plays herself off

as the perfect mother in front of others. So, most of the people who know

her would NEVER believe me. I have nothing to do with those people anymore,

nor nada.

Doug is also right about the 5 stages of grief... we tend to cycle through

them. Right now I am feeling more of an acceptance stage, but I'm sure I'll

be back at denial/anger/bargaining at some point. It happens, but, it also

gets better. Trust me, I wasn't feeling so much acceptance with all of this

a few months ago and was in one hell of a funk. But, there were other

reasons behind that too.

Anyway, welcome to all of you =) Make yourself at home!

Mia

>

>

>

> shock, denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance are the stages of grief.

>

> They are not linear, and they are not the same for everyone. Depression

> is a common effect of grief, and of being a KO.

>

> If you spend years in the grief, without progressing, then you are

> experiencing complicated grief. For that , you usually need help in

> coping.

>

> Doug

>

[Guest guest]

I kind of see it as a Dr. Jekyl/Ms. Evil Bitch scenario. HF BPD is so

frustrating, it's like there are times when everything is fine and normal, and

then it just decompensates so quickly and there's this monster standing there

where a human used to be... It's a total con. And realizing that, even when

times are better, helps keep emotional boundaries in place. Or at least that's

what I keep telling myself...