Hello....

[Guest guest]

I'm new here. I recently read Tears and Healing by Skerritt (previously

, 21CP) and though it's to do with BPSO (i'm learning the code!), it

opened the door to helping me deal with my mum's behaviour. She doesn't have an

official diagnosis, but my sister is a psychiatric nurse and between us we're

convinced that she is personality disordered; it just took a while for us to

figure out which one.

For years i felt that i was going mad; but today a light bulb went on in my

head, especially when reading the BPD basics - 'so THAT'S why she does that!'

All my adolescence and adulthood, i've been looking for ways to deal with her

behaviour, and finally aged 38, I'm starting the journey. I'm happy and relieved

all at once, because finally, i might get some answers.

I read the warning about diagnosing without professional help and those old

fears and doubts rose their ugly heads again, until i reminded myself -

1. whether mum has an official diagnosis or not is unimportant - her behaviour

fits the profile and we have all been damaged by her bahaviour. Therefore, i

need to find way to deal with her, as i will inevitably continue to have

sporadic contact with her.

2. BPD's often don't seek help, and if like my mum, they are on the edges of

society, unless they inflict injury on the public, they are likely to 'slip

under the radar' of mental health provision. Mum's M.H. problems are hidden from

the world, and only direct family members are exposed to the full spectrum of

her rage, diatribe, controlling, but mostly confusing behaviour.

Many thanks for listening,

uklkes

[Guest guest]

Welcome, Uklkes, and I think you are right. Its the behaviors that are the key

issue, not a name or a label; we have to deal with the behaviors one way or the

other. And, its the closest family members, particularly the children of the

personality disordered who suffer the most damage. Especially when the

personality disordered individual is high-functioning and can appear normal and

even charming and appealing in public.

YOu've found a bunch of other people who " get it. " For sure.

-Annie

>

> I'm new here. I recently read Tears and Healing by Skerritt

(previously , 21CP) and though it's to do with BPSO (i'm learning the

code!), it opened the door to helping me deal with my mum's behaviour. She

doesn't have an official diagnosis, but my sister is a psychiatric nurse and

between us we're convinced that she is personality disordered; it just took a

while for us to figure out which one.

>

> For years i felt that i was going mad; but today a light bulb went on in my

head, especially when reading the BPD basics - 'so THAT'S why she does that!'

All my adolescence and adulthood, i've been looking for ways to deal with her

behaviour, and finally aged 38, I'm starting the journey. I'm happy and relieved

all at once, because finally, i might get some answers.

>

> I read the warning about diagnosing without professional help and those old

fears and doubts rose their ugly heads again, until i reminded myself -

> 1. whether mum has an official diagnosis or not is unimportant - her behaviour

fits the profile and we have all been damaged by her bahaviour. Therefore, i

need to find way to deal with her, as i will inevitably continue to have

sporadic contact with her.

> 2. BPD's often don't seek help, and if like my mum, they are on the edges of

society, unless they inflict injury on the public, they are likely to 'slip

under the radar' of mental health provision. Mum's M.H. problems are hidden from

the world, and only direct family members are exposed to the full spectrum of

her rage, diatribe, controlling, but mostly confusing behaviour.

>

> Many thanks for listening,

>

> uklkes

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome fellow newbie! My mother doesn't have an official diagnosis either, so

goes the problem with the BPD- no seeking help means no diagnosis. BPD was

suggested to me by my therapist, and like you, I started reading and had quite a

few a-ha moments. Did a lot of reading about other personality disorders too, I

thought for awhile she might be bipolar, but nothing else fit.

Welcome. Sorry you're here, but it's a lovely place