Guest guest Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 It isn't about being the " bigger " person. It is about protecting yourself from harm. You're most likely right when you think that nothing will make her happy. I'd ignore your nada and her flying monkeys unless they approach you. If they approach you I'd say the minimum necessary to be polite and not cause a scene. Treat them like you'd treat someone who you've met but don't have any kind of relationship with and don't give them any openings to take the conversation further. At 06:44 PM 03/20/2011 jml792006 wrote: >Dear all, >I am kinda a new member. So my nada has BPD and i tried to mend >things with her 5mths ago...one last go thinking it just may be >for the good. well long story short she rejected me and my >husband and said she only wants to see my kids. and to that i >said NO. if you cant see me or have enough respect to see us, i >would not put my kids in such a negative stitaution. >So the other week i got an wedding ivite whereby my husband and >i are attending and my mum along with my auntie and her flying >monkeys are surely be there as well. My issue is....do i >approach her and say hi. a part of me thinks to be the bigger >person and just say something like hello but than the other >side of me thinks either way nothing will make her happy and >why owuld i put myself in a position to be treated coldly. you >would think its an easy deiscion to what to do but FOG plays in >so hard. any suggetions would be appreciated. -- Katrina Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 I agree with Katrina. I further suggest that you arrange for a sitter so that the children remain at home, or with friends at their home. No need to involve them in this. Children can get squirmy, bored and disruptive at weddings and rambunctious at receptions, anyway. Just be polite, calm and neutral if approached by your mother and/or her flying monkeys at the wedding. The idea is to just remain cool and not allow a " scene " to develop at your relative's wedding. (This remaining polite but neutral is sometimes called " medium chill. " ) I agree with you that if your parents are not interested in having a relationship with you and your husband, they will not have a relationship with your children, either. There is too much of a chance that your children will be subjected to negative comments about you if you allow unsupervised visits. Best of luck to you. -Annie > >Dear all, > >I am kinda a new member. So my nada has BPD and i tried to mend > >things with her 5mths ago...one last go thinking it just may be > >for the good. well long story short she rejected me and my > >husband and said she only wants to see my kids. and to that i > >said NO. if you cant see me or have enough respect to see us, i > >would not put my kids in such a negative stitaution. > >So the other week i got an wedding ivite whereby my husband and > >i are attending and my mum along with my auntie and her flying > >monkeys are surely be there as well. My issue is....do i > >approach her and say hi. a part of me thinks to be the bigger > >person and just say something like hello but than the other > >side of me thinks either way nothing will make her happy and > >why owuld i put myself in a position to be treated coldly. you > >would think its an easy deiscion to what to do but FOG plays in > >so hard. any suggetions would be appreciated. > > -- > Katrina > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 20, 2011 Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Agreed totally. Leave your kids. Go to the wedding. Let it be about the couple you are going to honor. Be cordial to nada or FM s if they speak, but don t engage in any of their Bad Bad Leroy Brown conversations. Excuse yourself if they start and walk away. If any want to start stuff, be polite, and if need be, excuse yourself and leave, as a gift to the couple, better to leave than stay and be the focus of nada bs. If they do nothing, or choose not to speak or approach you, do your wedding jollity with the bride and groom and eat cake and go. Doug Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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