Visit with brother was not bad

[Guest guest]

So I did end up visiting my brother with my cake and lasagna and I was so glad

he did not bring up the bloody tv once.

I'm sure he'll save that for a later date when we're alone and I'm trapped with

him in some restaurant or something. But, even then, I feel strong about not

allowing him to manipulate me into discussing it.

I felt petty and small after our visit for assuming the worst of him, that he

would badger me about it, and then I realized....duh, you assumed that because

that's what he NORMALLY does!

And I know him well enough to know that he will, indeed, wait until he thinks

I'm relaxed and save some zingers for a later time, when he's not feeling so

magnanimous.

Thanks again for your support, everyone. I did consider the advice not to go; in

fact, I really would have preferred it. But, I just felt that not going would

have been an unspoken admission of guilt. I just wanted to face him and let him

see I wasn't guilty or ashamed over the stupid tv.

Fiona

[Guest guest]

You can always protect yourself with boundaries - if you think a restaurant

environment will be a problem, just don't go to a restaurant with him.

Hugs and I'm glad. Don't feel small just because he was in a good mood!

On Tue, Mar 22, 2011 at 6:51 AM, Fiona wrote:

>

>

> So I did end up visiting my brother with my cake and lasagna and I was so

> glad he did not bring up the bloody tv once.

>

> I'm sure he'll save that for a later date when we're alone and I'm trapped

> with him in some restaurant or something. But, even then, I feel strong

> about not allowing him to manipulate me into discussing it.

>

> I felt petty and small after our visit for assuming the worst of him, that

> he would badger me about it, and then I realized....duh, you assumed that

> because that's what he NORMALLY does!

>

> And I know him well enough to know that he will, indeed, wait until he

> thinks I'm relaxed and save some zingers for a later time, when he's not

> feeling so magnanimous.

>

> Thanks again for your support, everyone. I did consider the advice not to

> go; in fact, I really would have preferred it. But, I just felt that not

> going would have been an unspoken admission of guilt. I just wanted to face

> him and let him see I wasn't guilty or ashamed over the stupid tv.

>

> Fiona

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

" Don't feel small just because he was in a good mood! "

OMG... isn't that the BPD trap of it all.... we get suckered in to this

revolving door of insanity because they're in a 'good mood' even though we know

that the core of their issues revolve around unstable moods. We KNOW better but

we somehow get snoockered and then 'pay the price for believing' that maybe

MAYBE " This time will be different. This time they've really REALLY changed. "

Horsenuggets!

Lynnette - Guilty too, of hope... but wise enough not to die on its sword any

longer.

>

> >

> >

> > So I did end up visiting my brother with my cake and lasagna and I was so

> > glad he did not bring up the bloody tv once.

> >

> > I'm sure he'll save that for a later date when we're alone and I'm trapped

> > with him in some restaurant or something. But, even then, I feel strong

> > about not allowing him to manipulate me into discussing it.

> >

> > I felt petty and small after our visit for assuming the worst of him, that

> > he would badger me about it, and then I realized....duh, you assumed that

> > because that's what he NORMALLY does!

> >

> > And I know him well enough to know that he will, indeed, wait until he

> > thinks I'm relaxed and save some zingers for a later time, when he's not

> > feeling so magnanimous.

> >

> > Thanks again for your support, everyone. I did consider the advice not to

> > go; in fact, I really would have preferred it. But, I just felt that not

> > going would have been an unspoken admission of guilt. I just wanted to face

> > him and let him see I wasn't guilty or ashamed over the stupid tv.

> >

> > Fiona

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>