Guest guest Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Dear WTO, I'm having a difficult physical experience that I wonder if anyone is familiar with. After a day of unexpected disruptive grief over my lost FOO and home state, I decided that I was ready to try a spa treatment for the first time. I thought that it would help me to physically grieve the past, and to release what was stored up in my body. The massage therapist was very good, and I did not feel triggered. But I do feel like literally every part of my body had way, way, way more toxins than were able to be released today, and I feel now like I am simply walking in a big cloud of toxins, instead of that I've been cleansed. & I am really not even any looser than before. I feel like I would have needed 3 hours, or 4, or 5! To even get started. There was pain, even in my hands, even in my TOES. And, though I'm loathe to admit it, this evening I've felt some of the old waves of dissociation and hopelessness come over me. I've felt even more debilitated than during today's sick day from work--and that is not good. I am wondering if there are any physical or massage therapists out there who can give me perhaps a verification or some kind of medical explanation for this experience? I'd hate to think I'm simply relapsing, helplessly. I'd also be interested to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Is this supposed to hurt before it helps? Is this something I'd need to do more times to get a benefit? Thanks very much, Charlie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I was so tense and rigid with anxiety when I had my first massage that it actually hurt. I felt ashamed of my body, and it felt weirdly (wildly!) unfamiliar to have a stranger's bare hands rubbing my bare skin like that, so I tensed up even more. Not a fun first massage, for me. Over the years I became more comfortable with having a full body massage, though, and can now enjoy them when I can afford them. Psychological healing is not necessarily a straight road in the bright sun on which we go X mph and make a regular, predictable amount of progress. Its more like trying to find your way at night on a winding road through a forest, with switch-backs in the road that are unmarked. If you've taken in more stress than you can process easily and its causing you distress, then perhaps a short-term course of meds would help you get past this rough spot? Just a possibility to consider. -Annie > > Dear WTO, I'm having a difficult physical experience that I wonder if anyone is familiar with. After a day of unexpected disruptive grief over my lost FOO and home state, I decided that I was ready to try a spa treatment for the first time. I thought that it would help me to physically grieve the past, and to release what was stored up in my body. The massage therapist was very good, and I did not feel triggered. But I do feel like literally every part of my body had way, way, way more toxins than were able to be released today, and I feel now like I am simply walking in a big cloud of toxins, instead of that I've been cleansed. & I am really not even any looser than before. I feel like I would have needed 3 hours, or 4, or 5! To even get started. There was pain, even in my hands, even in my TOES. And, though I'm loathe to admit it, this evening I've felt some of the old waves of dissociation and hopelessness come over me. I've felt even more debilitated than during today's sick day from work--and that is not good. > > I am wondering if there are any physical or massage therapists out there who can give me perhaps a verification or some kind of medical explanation for this experience? I'd hate to think I'm simply relapsing, helplessly. I'd also be interested to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Is this supposed to hurt before it helps? Is this something I'd need to do more times to get a benefit? > > Thanks very much, > Charlie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I had a very similar experience after my first massage as well. It's apparently rather common. The holistic community will tell you that the massage just stirred up a bunch of toxins that overwhelmed your body and that you've probably got a bunch of toxins all built up in your system. (I mean, you're on this board, that kinda goes without saying doesn't it? LOL) I've been told to drink TONS of water, take lots of vitamin C and to sleep as much as possible. I've had really good experiences with massages since and I too pursue them whenever I can afford them. I hope you're feeling better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 22, 2011 Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I've definitely had this happen! I believe it's the body's way of releasing the trauma after all these years. Instead of a relapse, it has been my body's way of bringing the stuff to the surface and then pushing it out, if that makes sense. In fact, after reading a book on trauma bonds, I've come to recognize the physical symptoms of trauma releasing itself and/or healing. As I cut and resolve these traumas, I have a ton of unrest in my emotions and body. It feels like the foundation my cracking and shifting. Hmmmmm . . . maybe that's because it is. I'm not a doc or a massage therapist, but I can tell you I've gone through it, and still do! I've come to recognize it as a really good sign--that means stuff is finally being released and resolved. Feel better, my friend! Blessings, Karla > > Dear WTO, I'm having a difficult physical experience that I wonder if anyone is familiar with. After a day of unexpected disruptive grief over my lost FOO and home state, I decided that I was ready to try a spa treatment for the first time. I thought that it would help me to physically grieve the past, and to release what was stored up in my body. The massage therapist was very good, and I did not feel triggered. But I do feel like literally every part of my body had way, way, way more toxins than were able to be released today, and I feel now like I am simply walking in a big cloud of toxins, instead of that I've been cleansed. & I am really not even any looser than before. I feel like I would have needed 3 hours, or 4, or 5! To even get started. There was pain, even in my hands, even in my TOES. And, though I'm loathe to admit it, this evening I've felt some of the old waves of dissociation and hopelessness come over me. I've felt even more debilitated than during today's sick day from work--and that is not good. > > I am wondering if there are any physical or massage therapists out there who can give me perhaps a verification or some kind of medical explanation for this experience? I'd hate to think I'm simply relapsing, helplessly. I'd also be interested to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Is this supposed to hurt before it helps? Is this something I'd need to do more times to get a benefit? > > Thanks very much, > Charlie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Thanks Annie, YodaB and Karla for this informative input...I'm glad to hear a little more about it. I have heard many times that the body stores a certain form of acid due to stress, and that it can be released through massages etc---but I don't think I really understood the amount of stress and toxins a person could actually *have*. This morning, I feel like I am breathing it--and I'm so sore I can barely move at all. I had to do 15 minutes of yoga just to be able to walk! It is really quite something. But yes--Karla--I do feel that things are being released, now that some time is passing, and not staying in. At least I hope so. I think I might recommend that for someone with as much trauma as a KO the first few massages might, if possible, be under medical supervision. I didn't have that option but I do think it would be ideal. Thanks, Charlie PS Wow, I hurt everywhere!!! > > > > Dear WTO, I'm having a difficult physical experience that I wonder if anyone is familiar with. After a day of unexpected disruptive grief over my lost FOO and home state, I decided that I was ready to try a spa treatment for the first time. I thought that it would help me to physically grieve the past, and to release what was stored up in my body. The massage therapist was very good, and I did not feel triggered. But I do feel like literally every part of my body had way, way, way more toxins than were able to be released today, and I feel now like I am simply walking in a big cloud of toxins, instead of that I've been cleansed. & I am really not even any looser than before. I feel like I would have needed 3 hours, or 4, or 5! To even get started. There was pain, even in my hands, even in my TOES. And, though I'm loathe to admit it, this evening I've felt some of the old waves of dissociation and hopelessness come over me. I've felt even more debilitated than during today's sick day from work--and that is not good. > > > > I am wondering if there are any physical or massage therapists out there who can give me perhaps a verification or some kind of medical explanation for this experience? I'd hate to think I'm simply relapsing, helplessly. I'd also be interested to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Is this supposed to hurt before it helps? Is this something I'd need to do more times to get a benefit? > > > > Thanks very much, > > Charlie > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 23, 2011 Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Stress, whether from grief, trauma, fear, or any other source, does indeed manifest in many physical ways. Muscle tension is one. Digestive disorders are another. There are any number of good texts out there on Stress. Physical exercise is a good way of defusing some of that. Walking at a brisk pace for 30 minutes a day, biking, swimming, are all good. One of the things I found effective while dealing with depression was walking, long enough to get my heart rate up and breathing working hard. I found I did not want to walk, and felt like " Oh screw it! " But after I started walking, there would come a point where I started to feel good, and actually enjoy it. That is the point where your body is producing endorphins, and these will help to drain off the stress poisens from your body. Doug > > Dear WTO, I'm having a difficult physical experience that I wonder if anyone is familiar with. After a day of unexpected disruptive grief over my lost FOO and home state, I decided that I was ready to try a spa treatment for the first time. I thought that it would help me to physically grieve the past, and to release what was stored up in my body. The massage therapist was very good, and I did not feel triggered. But I do feel like literally every part of my body had way, way, way more toxins than were able to be released today, and I feel now like I am simply walking in a big cloud of toxins, instead of that I've been cleansed. & I am really not even any looser than before. I feel like I would have needed 3 hours, or 4, or 5! To even get started. There was pain, even in my hands, even in my TOES. And, though I'm loathe to admit it, this evening I've felt some of the old waves of dissociation and hopelessness come over me. I've felt even more debilitated than during today's sick day from work--and that is not good. > > I am wondering if there are any physical or massage therapists out there who can give me perhaps a verification or some kind of medical explanation for this experience? I'd hate to think I'm simply relapsing, helplessly. I'd also be interested to know if anyone has had a similar experience. Is this supposed to hurt before it helps? Is this something I'd need to do more times to get a benefit? > > Thanks very much, > Charlie > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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