Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 I swear, I am not usually paranoid about much, but I am paranoid about people talking about me. I know it stems from the fact that my mother constantly talked about me negatively to anyone within earshot. She was always bad about talking about me in front of me -- almost like I wasn't even there. I remember her calling my dad up saying, " What are we going to do? She's such a liar and she doesn't listen and maybe she has brain damage from birth. " -- and on and on and on ad nauseum. Then she was berate me for not having any emotion when I got into trouble. Anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 I too experienced getting talked about negatively as though I wasn't standing right there hearing it. Its cruel even if the negative accusations are true, even if you did do something bad that needed to be addressed, because sharing your transgression with others is very shaming and humiliating. And its beyond cruel to falsely accuse a child of doing something or saying something bad, in front of others. That's, well, I can't even articulate how just plain old EVIL that is. To me, that is a blatant tactic on the part of the adult to discredit the child and paint the child black so no other adult will believe her if she asks for help, shares what kind of things her mother or father or brother or whoever, does to her. She's being turned into the " designated patient " , the crazy one, the liar, the " bad seed. " Yeah, I think " evil " is about the only adjective that fits the act of making public false accusations against one's own child, to humiliate, shame, control, and discredit her, and destroy her believability. -Annie > > > I swear, I am not usually paranoid about much, but I am paranoid about people talking about me. I know it stems from the fact that my mother constantly talked about me negatively to anyone within earshot. She was always bad about talking about me in front of me -- almost like I wasn't even there. I remember her calling my dad up saying, " What are we going to do? She's such a liar and she doesn't listen and maybe she has brain damage from birth. " -- and on and on and on ad nauseum. > > Then she was berate me for not having any emotion when I got into trouble. > > Anyone else? > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 25, 2011 Report Share Posted March 25, 2011 I don't remember my stepmom ever saying anything in front of anyone, as she has this " reputation "  that she wants to keep intact. She wants everyone to see her as this wonderful Christian perfect mom. She would always wait until we were alone, or with my dad to say anything. I remember one time, my aunt had made me this really cute sweatshirt with geese cross stitched on the front with a lace collar for my birthday. My aunt left a note in the box saying that she had basted the collar on, just in case I didn't like it. All I did was look at the stitch, as I am really bad at sewing. We left my grandma's, and my stepmom says, " You aren't taking it off. "  To which my reply was, " Taking what off? "  She had decided because I was looking at the stitching on the collar, that I was planning on taking it off. The thought never crossed my mind, and even though I kept insisting that I wasn't going to take the collar off, she kept insisting that I was.  I wore that shirt a lot...just like it was. I liked it the way it was, but you couldn't convince my stepmom of that. I am sure she was thinking that I would have taken that collar off if it wasn't for her.  When I was in high school, I was allowed to get contacts. This was before the disposable ones they have now. The first year I wore them, things were ok, but about 6 months after I got my second pair, my eyes started hurting....like something was in them all the time. She finally took me to the eye doc, who told me my eyes were allergic to the buildup on the contacts.  The doc and his assistant(who is a friend of my stepmom's) told her this.  She didn't say anything until later.  To this day, she swears that I was deliberately sticking my fingers into my eyes so I couldn't wear the contacts again, even though someone she knew for years told her the opposite. Things like this are why I don't talk much about what I went through, because no one saw it, so they wouldn't believe a word I say. All they saw was the nice, caring person that she wants everyone to believe she is. I know that she doesn't feel this way about herself. Janet   Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.  In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.  Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.  It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. Proverbs 3:5-8 ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Fri, March 25, 2011 11:49:19 AM Subject: dont talk about me !!  I swear, I am not usually paranoid about much, but I am paranoid about people talking about me. I know it stems from the fact that my mother constantly talked about me negatively to anyone within earshot. She was always bad about talking about me in front of me -- almost like I wasn't even there. I remember her calling my dad up saying, " What are we going to do? She's such a liar and she doesn't listen and maybe she has brain damage from birth. " -- and on and on and on ad nauseum. Then she was berate me for not having any emotion when I got into trouble. Anyone else? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 26, 2011 Report Share Posted March 26, 2011 Yep - talking evil about me right in front of me. Check. hate it > > > I don't remember my stepmom ever saying anything in front of anyone, as she > has > this " reputation " that she wants to keep intact. She wants everyone to see > > her as this wonderful Christian perfect mom. She would always wait until > we > were alone, or with my dad to say anything. I remember one time, my aunt > had > made me this really cute sweatshirt with geese cross stitched on the front > with a lace collar for my birthday. My aunt left a note in the box saying > that > she had basted the collar on, just in case I didn't like it. All I did was > look > at the stitch, as I am really bad at sewing. We left my grandma's, and my > stepmom says, " You aren't taking it off. " To which my reply was, " Taking > what > off? " She had decided because I was looking at the stitching on the > collar, > that I was planning on taking it off. The thought never crossed my mind, > and > even though I kept insisting that I wasn't going to take the collar off, > she > kept insisting that I was. I wore that shirt a lot...just like it was. I > liked > it the way it was, but you couldn't convince my stepmom of that. I am sure > she > was thinking that I would have taken that collar off if it wasn't for > her. > When I was in high school, I was allowed to get contacts. This was before > the disposable ones they have now. The first year I wore them, things were > ok, > but about 6 months after I got my second pair, my eyes started > hurting....like > something was in them all the time. She finally took me to the eye doc, > who > told me my eyes were allergic to the buildup on the contacts. The doc and > his > assistant(who is a friend of my stepmom's) told her this. She didn't say > anything until later. To this day, she swears that I was deliberately > sticking > my fingers into my eyes so I couldn't wear the contacts again, even though > someone she knew for years told her the opposite. Things like this are why > I > don't talk much about what I went through, because no one saw it, so they > wouldn't believe a word I say. All they saw was the nice, caring person > that > she wants everyone to believe she is. I know that she doesn't feel this > way > about herself. > Janet > > Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own > understanding. > In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. > Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil. > It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones. > Proverbs 3:5-8 > > ________________________________ > > To: WTOAdultChildren1 > Sent: Fri, March 25, 2011 11:49:19 AM > Subject: dont talk about me !! > > > > > I swear, I am not usually paranoid about much, but I am paranoid about > people > talking about me. I know it stems from the fact that my mother constantly > talked > about me negatively to anyone within earshot. She was always bad about > talking > about me in front of me -- almost like I wasn't even there. I remember her > calling my dad up saying, " What are we going to do? She's such a liar and > she > doesn't listen and maybe she has brain damage from birth. " -- and on and on > and > on ad nauseum. > > Then she was berate me for not having any emotion when I got into trouble. > > Anyone else? > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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