Blocked her from Facebook posts - FREEDOM!!!

March 28, 2011

I know there have been multiple threads about FB and our nada's/mom's stalking

us there.

I just recently identified that it is a huge trigger that my mom " stalks " me on

FB. She will " like " certain posts in an effort to send me a message, but mostly

will call me just to comment on my recent FB status update, make awkward

conversation about it, then get off the phone. I know its her " waify " way of

trying to say " You won't give me information about your life so I have to get it

from FB " and try to make me feel guilty.

So, since I realized what a huge trigger this was for me, I found out I can keep

her as a friend but BLOCK her from reading my status updates.

As far as FB is concerned, there is absolutely no way she can know I did this.

BUT SHE FOUND OUT!!! Don't know how in the world she found out, but she sent me

a message demanding to know why I did it, to which I didn't really respond.

I can only conclude that she must have had a mutual friend look up my profile

and read off my posts to her, which is even MORE creepy and triggering!

I am about to set some hard boundaries with my mom and its taken a lot of

strength and prayer to be able to do this. But for the first time in YEARS I

feel - FREE. Free from the guilt, from the FOG. I care about her, I love her

very much, but I cannot let her emotional projections poison the mother and the

wife I'm trying to be to my own family.

I can only pray that God heals her illness and in the meantime, protect myself.

I hate she is blowing up over the FB thing but I'm surprised that I don't care.

I guess this is a good sign for me, huh? :-)

March 28, 2011

Ugh that sounds really creepy. My boss does that - she doesn't really like

facebook but she sort of spys on me there and then asks me about things. I

fired a property manger for my rental unit and she had to know all about it

- because I'm sure she wanted to know who I had the authority to fire. Ha ha

my employees - BIIITCH!

>

> I know there have been multiple threads about FB and our nada's/mom's

> stalking us there.

>

> I just recently identified that it is a huge trigger that my mom " stalks "

> me on FB. She will " like " certain posts in an effort to send me a message,

> but mostly will call me just to comment on my recent FB status update, make

> awkward conversation about it, then get off the phone. I know its her

> " waify " way of trying to say " You won't give me information about your life

> so I have to get it from FB " and try to make me feel guilty.

>

> So, since I realized what a huge trigger this was for me, I found out I can

> keep her as a friend but BLOCK her from reading my status updates.

> As far as FB is concerned, there is absolutely no way she can know I did

> this.

> BUT SHE FOUND OUT!!! Don't know how in the world she found out, but she

> sent me a message demanding to know why I did it, to which I didn't really

> respond.

>

> I can only conclude that she must have had a mutual friend look up my

> profile and read off my posts to her, which is even MORE creepy and

> triggering!

>

> I am about to set some hard boundaries with my mom and its taken a lot of

> strength and prayer to be able to do this. But for the first time in YEARS I

> feel - FREE. Free from the guilt, from the FOG. I care about her, I love her

> very much, but I cannot let her emotional projections poison the mother and

> the wife I'm trying to be to my own family.

>

> I can only pray that God heals her illness and in the meantime, protect

> myself.

>

> I hate she is blowing up over the FB thing but I'm surprised that I don't

> care.

>

> I guess this is a good sign for me, huh? :-)

>

March 28, 2011

I personally do not like the amount of exposure that happens when one is on

FaceBook. It does make it easier for people who may not have your best

interests at heart, who are envious or jealous, or who actively hate you to peer

into the details of your life.

I'm on Facebook, but, I might as well not be because I never post any personal

stuff there and only reply to personal messages via personal message.

But then, I tend to be on the paranoid side. Besides, I was stalked and

harrassed for over 3 years by a former friend via Internet Groups (but not this

one, as far as I know) so I've been " kicked " already in that way.

-Annie

>

> >

> > I know there have been multiple threads about FB and our nada's/mom's

> > stalking us there.

> >

> > I just recently identified that it is a huge trigger that my mom " stalks "

> > me on FB. She will " like " certain posts in an effort to send me a message,

> > but mostly will call me just to comment on my recent FB status update, make

> > awkward conversation about it, then get off the phone. I know its her

> > " waify " way of trying to say " You won't give me information about your life

> > so I have to get it from FB " and try to make me feel guilty.

> >

> > So, since I realized what a huge trigger this was for me, I found out I can

> > keep her as a friend but BLOCK her from reading my status updates.

> > As far as FB is concerned, there is absolutely no way she can know I did

> > this.

> > BUT SHE FOUND OUT!!! Don't know how in the world she found out, but she

> > sent me a message demanding to know why I did it, to which I didn't really

> > respond.

> >

> > I can only conclude that she must have had a mutual friend look up my

> > profile and read off my posts to her, which is even MORE creepy and

> > triggering!

> >

> > I am about to set some hard boundaries with my mom and its taken a lot of

> > strength and prayer to be able to do this. But for the first time in YEARS I

> > feel - FREE. Free from the guilt, from the FOG. I care about her, I love her

> > very much, but I cannot let her emotional projections poison the mother and

> > the wife I'm trying to be to my own family.

> >

> > I can only pray that God heals her illness and in the meantime, protect

> > myself.

> >

> > I hate she is blowing up over the FB thing but I'm surprised that I don't

> > care.

> >

> > I guess this is a good sign for me, huh? :-)

> >

>

March 28, 2011

I was reading the replies to this post, and I just had to add my own Facebook

horror story. My brother and I were both FB friends with nada for a while.

However, both of us have recently had to block her, (and in my case, I actually

" unfriended " her as well), and here's why. During our one and only family

counseling session, Nada revealed to my brother and me that her suicide attempt

back in November of last year, was in part triggered by something my brother had

posted on my wall. (The FB post wasn't the actual reason, there were a lot of

things that led up to the suicide attempt, but it was like the straw that broke

the camel's back to her).

The post in question was actually one of those " reposts " you know, like " repost

this if you have....yada, yada " . The one he sent to me said something like,

" repost this if you have a sister who has always been there for you, etc., etc. "

When I read it, I thought it was so sweet of him to acknowledge me in that way,

and I replied to it and told him that he made me cry.

Well, I guess when nada read that, she was already feeling pretty depressed, and

it just sent her over the edge. I can only guess why, but I think it probably

had something to do with the fact that it had absolutely NOTHING to do with HER.

She was probably thinking, " of all the things I've done for those ungrateful

children of mine, and all they are thinking about is themselves! How dare they

not include me! " or something pretty close to that. So, anyway, she read that

and then decided to stage a suicide attempt. I stay " stage " because she didn't

actually take enough pills to kill herself, but just enough to leave her pretty

doped up and out of it. She made an angry ranting call to me saying she was

tired of everything and everybody and was going to end it and hung up. Then, she

positioned herself on the floor next to the bed, knowing I would rush right over

there and find her like that, which I of course did. She admitted to everything

(except the staging part) and admitted that she did it to " show us " , whatever

that means. Pretty sick, huh?

Moral of the story: NEVER friend a BP on FB!

March 28, 2011

OMG wow

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

Sometimes the posts about how great people's moms are make me cry, because I

don't have that. . . but I am not going to stage a suicide over it!

On Mon, Mar 28, 2011 at 12:52 PM, juspeachyinga wrote:

>

> I was reading the replies to this post, and I just had to add my own

> Facebook horror story. My brother and I were both FB friends with nada for a

> while. However, both of us have recently had to block her, (and in my case,

> I actually " unfriended " her as well), and here's why. During our one and

> only family counseling session, Nada revealed to my brother and me that her

> suicide attempt back in November of last year, was in part triggered by

> something my brother had posted on my wall. (The FB post wasn't the actual

> reason, there were a lot of things that led up to the suicide attempt, but

> it was like the straw that broke the camel's back to her).

>

> The post in question was actually one of those " reposts " you know, like

> " repost this if you have....yada, yada " . The one he sent to me said

> something like, " repost this if you have a sister who has always been there

> for you, etc., etc. " When I read it, I thought it was so sweet of him to

> acknowledge me in that way, and I replied to it and told him that he made me

> cry.

>

> Well, I guess when nada read that, she was already feeling pretty

> depressed, and it just sent her over the edge. I can only guess why, but I

> think it probably had something to do with the fact that it had absolutely

> NOTHING to do with HER. She was probably thinking, " of all the things I've

> done for those ungrateful children of mine, and all they are thinking about

> is themselves! How dare they not include me! " or something pretty close to

> that. So, anyway, she read that and then decided to stage a suicide attempt.

> I stay " stage " because she didn't actually take enough pills to kill

> herself, but just enough to leave her pretty doped up and out of it. She

> made an angry ranting call to me saying she was tired of everything and

> everybody and was going to end it and hung up. Then, she positioned herself

> on the floor next to the bed, knowing I would rush right over there and find

> her like that, which I of course did. She admitted to everything (except the

> staging part) and admitted that she did it to " show us " , whatever that

> means. Pretty sick, huh?

>

> Moral of the story: NEVER friend a BP on FB!

>

March 28, 2011

FB...it's a wonder she didn't go the whole hog and post a live video/utube link

to the whole FAKE suicide - maybe she doesn't yet know how to fully use FB to

make your life more miserable?

Yes, best to unfriend her. You did the right thing. One less way she can

mani[ulate and hurt you. I'm so sorry you had that crap from her.

Facebook is just what we KOs all DON't need...nadas and fadas swatting up /

stalking/ interfering in the lives of those they have no business contacting...

I recently UNFRIENDED my nada when she made a ridiculous fake-empathy post about

her new neighbours daughter (that she's never ever met) who lives in

Christchurch and hadn't contacted her mum for 2 days....OKAY OKAY I know there's

an earthquake situation there, but WTH when someone you have never met is of

more interest than your own daughter that you are giving the international

silent treatment to....

GRRRRR she hasn't contacted me in 6 weeks but has made a lot of noise telling

other family members just how great and wonderful they are, and now this

complete stranger girl...she hasn't FBs me for like 2 years...just all the other

family members...it's too much...

>

March 28, 2011

I guess that like a lot of benign or neutral things, FB can be turned into a

weapon in the wrong hands.

-Annie

>

> FB...it's a wonder she didn't go the whole hog and post a live video/utube

link to the whole FAKE suicide - maybe she doesn't yet know how to fully use FB

to make your life more miserable?

>

> Yes, best to unfriend her. You did the right thing. One less way she can

mani[ulate and hurt you. I'm so sorry you had that crap from her.

>

> Facebook is just what we KOs all DON't need...nadas and fadas swatting up /

stalking/ interfering in the lives of those they have no business contacting...

>

> I recently UNFRIENDED my nada when she made a ridiculous fake-empathy post

about her new neighbours daughter (that she's never ever met) who lives in

Christchurch and hadn't contacted her mum for 2 days....OKAY OKAY I know there's

an earthquake situation there, but WTH when someone you have never met is of

more interest than your own daughter that you are giving the international

silent treatment to....

> GRRRRR she hasn't contacted me in 6 weeks but has made a lot of noise telling

other family members just how great and wonderful they are, and now this

complete stranger girl...she hasn't FBs me for like 2 years...just all the other

family members...it's too much...

>

> >

>

March 28, 2011

I don't feel comfortable with using Facebook either. The people

in charge have shown a blatant lack of regard for users' privacy

and it has too many openings for malicious software to spread. I

do use LiveJournal which lets me choose to make my information

secure enough that I don't have to worry about my nada finding

it. Almost nothing I say there is public. I'm a strong fan of

knowing who might be reading any personal information I post.

Posting here is a bit past my comfort zone where that's

concerned, but it seems important to my sanity.

My nada loves Facebook. She spends hours and hours on it most

days, playing games and chatting with the people she's met

playing games there. A couple weeks ago she got her computer

infected with some nasty stuff that was making it freeze

periodically. So I brought it home with me and cleaned it up for

her. Of course, I didn't do it quickly enough to suit her but I

won't put her computer problems ahead of paying work, and she

knows there is no point to arguing with me about that. Since she

is constantly getting into trouble, I set her security software

to do the most thorough scanning it is capable of doing. The

price for that is that it makes the computer slower to do some

things. The day after I took it back to her, she called and said

she needed to buy a new laptop because the newly-fixed computer

was too slow to play her Facebook games. She's short of money

and really doesn't have more than what she needs for normal

expenses, yet playing those games is so important to her that

she was ready to go out and buy a fancy new computer to play

them. It is probably a good thing that she broke her foot and

can't drive right now. I'm not going to be at all sympathetic if

she buys a new computer then can't afford to pay her bills.

At 02:24 PM 03/28/2011 anuria67854 wrote:

>I personally do not like the amount of exposure that happens

>when one is on FaceBook. It does make it easier for people who

>may not have your best interests at heart, who are envious or

>jealous, or who actively hate you to peer into the details of

>your life.

>

>I'm on Facebook, but, I might as well not be because I never

>post any personal stuff there and only reply to personal

>messages via personal message.

>

>But then, I tend to be on the paranoid side. Besides, I was

>stalked and harrassed for over 3 years by a former friend via

>Internet Groups (but not this one, as far as I know) so I've

>been " kicked " already in that way.

>

>-Annie

--

Katrina

March 28, 2011

So basically you were hit with the whole " I tried to kill myself and it's all

your fault " routine. Been there, done that and it made me royally furious. In my

case it was a serious attempt that resulted in near death, liver failure, months

in the hospital and a psych ward stay and the dementia she now has.

What infuriates me on your behalf - can you tell I'm all fired up today? - is

that a normal loving mother would have been so incredibly proud to have raised

two children who love and care for each other so much that they would post this

on Facebook that she would have put an " Awww, I love you guys, you've made me so

proud " type comment.

But Noooo - Nada fakes a suicide.

Geez.

Sent from my blueberry.

> I was reading the replies to this post, and I just had to add my own Facebook

horror story. My brother and I were both FB friends with nada for a while.

However, both of us have recently had to block her, (and in my case, I actually

" unfriended " her as well), and here's why. During our one and only family

counseling session, Nada revealed to my brother and me that her suicide attempt

back in November of last year, was in part triggered by something my brother had

posted on my wall. (The FB post wasn't the actual reason, there were a lot of

things that led up to the suicide attempt, but it was like the straw that broke

the camel's back to her).

>

> The post in question was actually one of those " reposts " you know, like

" repost this if you have....yada, yada " . The one he sent to me said something

like, " repost this if you have a sister who has always been there for you, etc.,

etc. " When I read it, I thought it was so sweet of him to acknowledge me in that

way, and I replied to it and told him that he made me cry.

>

> Well, I guess when nada read that, she was already feeling pretty depressed,

and it just sent her over the edge. I can only guess why, but I think it

probably had something to do with the fact that it had absolutely NOTHING to do

with HER. She was probably thinking, " of all the things I've done for those

ungrateful children of mine, and all they are thinking about is themselves! How

dare they not include me! " or something pretty close to that. So, anyway, she

read that and then decided to stage a suicide attempt. I stay " stage " because

she didn't actually take enough pills to kill herself, but just enough to leave

her pretty doped up and out of it. She made an angry ranting call to me saying

she was tired of everything and everybody and was going to end it and hung up.

Then, she positioned herself on the floor next to the bed, knowing I would rush

right over there and find her like that, which I of course did. She admitted to

everything (except the staging part) and admitted that she did it to " show us " ,

whatever that means. Pretty sick, huh?

>

> Moral of the story: NEVER friend a BP on FB!

>

> __._,_.__

>

March 28, 2011

I agree. A normal, rational, mentally healthy mother would be thrilled that her

children are kind to each other and care about each other, just as you wrote.

Its another example that personality disorder is a VERY severe mental illness,

when a mother reacts with a suicide threat because her children express their

filial love for each other.

Jeez, Louise.

-Annie

>

> > I was reading the replies to this post, and I just had to add my own

Facebook horror story. My brother and I were both FB friends with nada for a

while. However, both of us have recently had to block her, (and in my case, I

actually " unfriended " her as well), and here's why. During our one and only

family counseling session, Nada revealed to my brother and me that her suicide

attempt back in November of last year, was in part triggered by something my

brother had posted on my wall. (The FB post wasn't the actual reason, there were

a lot of things that led up to the suicide attempt, but it was like the straw

that broke the camel's back to her).

> >

> > The post in question was actually one of those " reposts " you know, like

" repost this if you have....yada, yada " . The one he sent to me said something

like, " repost this if you have a sister who has always been there for you, etc.,

etc. " When I read it, I thought it was so sweet of him to acknowledge me in that

way, and I replied to it and told him that he made me cry.

> >

> > Well, I guess when nada read that, she was already feeling pretty depressed,