Advice How to Handle Borderline Mom

[Guest guest]

Hello - I am new to the group. I believe I have a borderline mother. I am on

my third book regarding borderline behavior. I am learning, slowly.

My father has recently filed for a divorce after 45 years of marriage to my mom.

During this process, when she felt as if I was not supporting her, she throws

out a message frequently to the tune of - " I can't believe after all I have done

for you, you (daughter) are treating me like this. "

Any advice on how to handle this? I am currently reading one of Randi Kreger's

books, so I have a couple thoughts as to how to handle. But, I'll take any

advice I can get.

Thanks Much,

[Guest guest]

First , boundaries.

" Mom, I m sorry and hurt that you and Dad are divorcing. But I m not

going to get in the middle of it. It is unfair of you or him to ask me

to take sides in between my parents. "

Entitlement and justification mentality is common for them. Because I

changed your diaper, it should be ok for me to violate your boundaries

by talking about intimate sexual things that make you uncomfortable.

No, it is not.

Randi s books will be a great start for you. also check out

bpdcentral.com. There is a wealth of resource there.

If you have a BP mom, I would recommend taking a bit of time with a

good counselor, for you.

Doug

>

> Hello - I am new to the group. I believe I have a borderline mother. I

am on my third book regarding borderline behavior. I am learning,

slowly.

>

> My father has recently filed for a divorce after 45 years of marriage

to my mom. During this process, when she felt as if I was not supporting

her, she throws out a message frequently to the tune of - " I can't

believe after all I have done for you, you (daughter) are treating me

like this. "

>

> Any advice on how to handle this? I am currently reading one of Randi

Kreger's books, so I have a couple thoughts as to how to handle. But,

I'll take any advice I can get.

>

> Thanks Much,

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I recommend the same thing. (Well put, Doug, as usual.)

Its not fair for either of your parents to pressure you to take sides, when

nothing criminal has happened. Its OK for you to simply refuse to take sides in

a gentle way, as Doug has suggested.

-Annie

> >

> > Hello - I am new to the group. I believe I have a borderline mother. I

> am on my third book regarding borderline behavior. I am learning,

> slowly.

> >

> > My father has recently filed for a divorce after 45 years of marriage

> to my mom. During this process, when she felt as if I was not supporting

> her, she throws out a message frequently to the tune of - " I can't

> believe after all I have done for you, you (daughter) are treating me

> like this. "

> >

> > Any advice on how to handle this? I am currently reading one of Randi

> Kreger's books, so I have a couple thoughts as to how to handle. But,

> I'll take any advice I can get.

> >

> > Thanks Much,

> >

> >

>