Guest guest Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Sunday: After 15 months of me " Being patient and understanding " I asked SO if/what actions he said he needed to take re: his fear - thus engagement - of his ex BPD wife he had taken. A week earliery he told he was going to cut all communication and let the chips fall where they may. This resulted in a big outburst on 'me' and how hard it would be for 'him' because 'she' is crazy and he has SO MUCH WORK TO DO. I went numb. Monday: Sequestered myself with my Dissertation and wrote myself into a stupor for 14 of my 17 waking hours. Teen has been relatively low drama lately. Amen! Tuesday: SO calls, texts and floods my email with, " Well I did it and now she's threatening " blah blah blah " and I can't take it. " I responded with a 'hold my ground' stance and restated my point, " You have to choose to either move forward into the future or be held hostage by your past. I will not be a part of your past here. " I pointed out he had a therapist to help him get through this and tried to get him 'here' on the men's board. " I don't need a SUPPORT GROUP! " Wednesday: Therapy appoint. Discussed Nada (causing serious drama re: my Ed.D. graduation this summer), Teen (blissfully mellow), Ed.D. (always academic drama with the institution) and SO (see above.) In summary.... Therapist provided brilliant insight: Hold firm on your position with Nada re: Graduation - period. This CANNOT be hijacked by her again... this is YOU! Period!!! Bring a security team if you have to! Teen - " Thank GOD! " School: You earned this.... their drams is not about you... just write! SO: " His ex IS crazy. Of course she's going to blow up.... what did he thing was going to happen? But....Time to put his " Big Boy underpants on and COPE! " She also re-stated for the umpteenth time I have too much going on and it's concerning. So I left there tired, exposed, exhausted and raw. Thursday: Back in my shell to crunch data, write and write some more. Didn't want to talk to anyone. Done. Ka-put! Fate wasn't about to let THAT happen... found out at 4pm that the " Institutionals submission dates for graduation in July have changed... and I won't make it in time... ugh. So... I'll be " minted " this fall... and attend next years 'Ceremony'.... good, bad, otherwise. It actually proved to be a relief... more time to sleep/ write/ sleep and get things organized... the huge pressure cooker has been vented a bit. And as my dad so elequently said, " So your degree says August or Septemeber instead of July... You're STILL a Dr.... who cares? " Love you Dad! Friday: Slept soundly. Woke to birdies chirping. Dealt with Nada and her bizarness. SO appologized for " the mess he's brought to me and allowed to fester in my heart. " He also did what needed to be done. Finally. Teen is still 'good.' Ed.D. Advisor blessed my father for his insight and we'll aim for fall. Saturday: Making jewelry and shopping today. I refuse, for the time being, to write or do anything but relax for a few days... Man, I'm wiped. Lynnette Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 2, 2011 Report Share Posted April 2, 2011 Wow!! I am exhausted just *reading* about how busy your week was. I am not " built " to handle that many demands on my attention at once. I used to have a high-pressure job in a large corporation but could manage that well only because that's *all* I did. I didn't have to juggle a child's needs or a spouse's needs; just the company's and mine. Even so, after about a decade as a director eventually the chronic stress and pressure got to me and I decided to resign. I now work for myself, with my former bosses and co-workers as my clients. This is healthier for me; I was pretty sure I was heading for an early stroke or aneurysm if I stayed " inside " the pressure cooker. Each of us has to find what will work best for us as individuals. I'm happy for you that your various stresses and pressures haven't derailed your goal of a doctorate! That is awesome! Big thumb's up of encouragement from me! -Annie > > Sunday: After 15 months of me " Being patient and understanding " I asked SO if/what actions he said he needed to take re: his fear - thus engagement - of his ex BPD wife he had taken. A week earliery he told he was going to cut all communication and let the chips fall where they may. This resulted in a big outburst on 'me' and how hard it would be for 'him' because 'she' is crazy and he has SO MUCH WORK TO DO. I went numb. > > Monday: Sequestered myself with my Dissertation and wrote myself into a stupor for 14 of my 17 waking hours. Teen has been relatively low drama lately. Amen! > > Tuesday: SO calls, texts and floods my email with, " Well I did it and now she's threatening " blah blah blah " and I can't take it. " I responded with a 'hold my ground' stance and restated my point, " You have to choose to either move forward into the future or be held hostage by your past. I will not be a part of your past here. " I pointed out he had a therapist to help him get through this and tried to get him 'here' on the men's board. " I don't need a SUPPORT GROUP! " > > Wednesday: Therapy appoint. Discussed Nada (causing serious drama re: my Ed.D. graduation this summer), Teen (blissfully mellow), Ed.D. (always academic drama with the institution) and SO (see above.) In summary.... Therapist provided brilliant insight: Hold firm on your position with Nada re: Graduation - period. This CANNOT be hijacked by her again... this is YOU! Period!!! Bring a security team if you have to! Teen - " Thank GOD! " School: You earned this.... their drams is not about you... just write! SO: " His ex IS crazy. Of course she's going to blow up.... what did he thing was going to happen? But....Time to put his " Big Boy underpants on and COPE! " She also re-stated for the umpteenth time I have too much going on and it's concerning. So I left there tired, exposed, exhausted and raw. > > Thursday: Back in my shell to crunch data, write and write some more. Didn't want to talk to anyone. Done. Ka-put! Fate wasn't about to let THAT happen... found out at 4pm that the " Institutionals submission dates for graduation in July have changed... and I won't make it in time... ugh. So... I'll be " minted " this fall... and attend next years 'Ceremony'.... good, bad, otherwise. It actually proved to be a relief... more time to sleep/ write/ sleep and get things organized... the huge pressure cooker has been vented a bit. And as my dad so elequently said, " So your degree says August or Septemeber instead of July... You're STILL a Dr.... who cares? " Love you Dad! > > Friday: Slept soundly. Woke to birdies chirping. Dealt with Nada and her bizarness. SO appologized for " the mess he's brought to me and allowed to fester in my heart. " He also did what needed to be done. Finally. Teen is still 'good.' Ed.D. Advisor blessed my father for his insight and we'll aim for fall. > > Saturday: Making jewelry and shopping today. I refuse, for the time being, to write or do anything but relax for a few days... > > Man, I'm wiped. > > Lynnette > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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