Guest guest Posted April 4, 2011 Report Share Posted April 4, 2011 Hi there, I just found this group after reading Stop Walking On Eggshells, my therapist recommended it to me, what an awesome book! I have a very similar situation to 'cheryle418.' Although (to my knowledge) my mother has never been diagnosed by a medical doctor with BPD, I believe it's what she has. I personally don't think she will ever get help because she often tells me I'm the one with the problem(s). If I've learned anything from SWOE I think she also shows signs of NPD. At times she makes comments as to how great she is. She's a HF BP, and most people think she's wonderful, and she is, to those who don't know her. People have a hard time believing me when I tell my close friends things she's done. My mother goes through episodes where she believes I'm the best daughter in the world and then I'm the worst daughter in the world. (This one is more frequent.) She treathens me with just about anything you can think of, tells me what a horrible 'child' I am and makes me cry almost daily. I'm 23 years old and I love my mother and want her in my life but I just don't know what the best thing to do is. I want her to know that I'm here for her if she needs but I guess I don't really know how to set boundries. Anyway, any help or advice that anyone has for me would be greatly appreciated. How do you deal with your BP parent? Thanks, hope you all have a good day Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 7, 2011 Report Share Posted April 7, 2011 Hi there, I am new also to this group, I just bought Walking on Eggshells (recommended by my therapist) and I am excited that there is a support group. For the past year I have been dealing with my BPD mother by cutting off all contact with her and my father. this has not been easy, but I am certainly a lot less anxious than ever in my life. Ever since the end of college, I have lived at least a plane flight away. I just needed distance emotionally and so creating a physical distance helped me to feel stronger in drawing boundaries. I am coming to terms with that for the rest of my life, my only communication with her might only be in letters or not at all. It is just too harmful and I am exhausted from the years of abuse. I just do not have the energy to deal with whatever she is going to throw at me in any given conversation or email! It can be very lonely and isolating and very hard/embarrassing explaining why I am not planning a big wedding or not visiting my parents. My friends do listen, but I think it is really hard to understand (believe) some of the stuff my mom says or does when someone's family is nurturing and supportive. I can totally relate to what you said about how your mom says it is you and that you are the one that has a problem - my mom would say the same thing to me!I am sure I will have more questions as I read the book, but hang in there! > > Hi there, > > I just found this group after reading Stop Walking On Eggshells, my therapist recommended it to me, what an awesome book! > > I have a very similar situation to 'cheryle418.' Although (to my knowledge) my mother has never been diagnosed by a medical doctor with BPD, I believe it's what she has. I personally don't think she will ever get help because she often tells me I'm the one with the problem(s). If I've learned anything from SWOE I think she also shows signs of NPD. At times she makes comments as to how great she is. She's a HF BP, and most people think she's wonderful, and she is, to those who don't know her. People have a hard time believing me when I tell my close friends things she's done. My mother goes through episodes where she believes I'm the best daughter in the world and then I'm the worst daughter in the world. (This one is more frequent.) She treathens me with just about anything you can think of, tells me what a horrible 'child' I am and makes me cry almost daily. I'm 23 years old and I love my mother and want her in my life but I just don't know what the best thing to do is. I want her to know that I'm here for her if she needs but I guess I don't really know how to set boundries. > > Anyway, any help or advice that anyone has for me would be greatly appreciated. How do you deal with your BP parent? > > Thanks, hope you all have a good day > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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