Re: to move or not to move....

[Guest guest]

I think this is a hard question to answer. Peace of mind is

worth a great deal. If you're constantly waiting for an attack

to come, the stress can do damage to both your mental and

physical health. Your kids are young enough that they shouldn't

have trouble making new friends if you move. You'd be giving up

what sounds like a nice network of friends though, and you might

or might not have an easy time finding new friends yourself. If

you are careful in choosing where to move, you'll probably find

new friends too. (Moving someplace where you feel you have

nothing in common with the people around you can be very

lonely.)

It seems to me that there are a bunch of questions you and your

husband need to ask yourselves to put your options in

perspective. Here are some to start with.

How far are you thinking of moving? Will you be able to move far

enough that you'll feel safe from your nada? Moving a long way

is generally harder to deal with than moving a short distance,

but putting more distance between you and your nada is more

likely to bring you peace of mind.

What effect will moving have on your finances? Will you and/or

your husband have to find new jobs in the new location? If so,

how hard will that be? Replacing the stress of being too close

to your nada with financial stress might not be a good

trade-off.

How easily do you make new friends and how important is it to

you to have close friends nearby?

Is there anything you particularly like about where you live

now? How much will you miss that location if you leave? What do

you like about the area you're thinking of moving to, apart from

it being away from your nada?

At 09:59 PM 04/04/2011 jml792006 wrote:

>dear all,

>i have been no contact with my nada for now 6mths. problem is

>there are her flying monkeys everywhere and she only lives

>20mins away from me. i have 3 kids ages 6, 4 and 7mths old. my

>husband the last year has entertained the thought of just

>removing ourselves from her and her flying monkeys as even

>though we have no contact with her, i know her too well where

>its just a matter of time she will strike somehow and someway,

>probably through my aunt who is visiting from overseas now...th

>try to talk to me convincing me why i am doing this to my own

>mother blah blah blah.... i guess the only thing stopping me is

>that my children the older 2 have a good network of friends

>which i value and i also have a great relationship with their

>mums and feel comfortable have such great friends and

>definately do not take them for granted. in saying that i dont

>know if anyone else can relate but in the back of mind i cant

>help but think somehow my nada is going to make an attack of

>some sort. she always has in the past. and i guess its me

>having an issue when things are going all so well can it

>possible last?!

>feel like i am sitting on a fence and dont know which way to

>fall.

>one thing is for sure if i didnt have kids i wouldnt spend

>another second here but the reality is that i do have 3

>beautiful children who i feel blessed to have and i want what

>is best for me foremost.

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

I would give almost ANYTHING to be able to move. Nada and bpd family is 2 hours

away, but they know my address, where my hubby works, and could call his work or

show up at any time. I still refuse to answer my own front door. My advice,

MOVE!