Re: Saw my mum at my child's school?!

April 7, 2011

I don't think that talking to the school about it is

over-reacting at all. If there's a potential for your nada to do

something she shouldn't do while your daughter is at school, the

school needs to know about it.

Is it possible that your nada just happened to be driving past

the school because it was on the way to somewhere she was going?

If the school is in a location by itself and not on a road that

leads elsewhere, I'd be more concerned about it than if the

school is on a main road that lots of people drive down every

day. Even if she was driving past the school for some reasonable

reason, that doesn't mean she wouldn't stop if she noticed your

daughter outside the school though. Nadas can be good at taking

advantage of any opportunity that presents itself.

At 03:10 AM 04/07/2011 jml792006 wrote:

>Ok so i have been nc with my nada for the last 6mths after she

>couldnt respe ctmy boundary of if she wants to see her

>grandchildren than my husband and i need to be both present.

>she has rejected both me and my husband because we want to have

>a relationship with my brother who is married to my mum's enemy

>(my sister in law). so basically although she 'loves' her

>grandchildren she is not seeing them unless its alone. anways

>today when i went to pick up my 6 yr old daughter from school i

>was doing a u turn opposite the school and when i turned i saw

>my mum driving past ...i was in shock?! what the hell is she

>thinking...okay stupid question she is not mentally stable. she

>is playing the matyr rold and i think she is getting desparate.

>okay so she sees my daughter and than what...i dont trust her-

>i wouldnt be surprised if she approached me daughter too. i am

>going to talk to the school about this as i am a bit scared of

>her behaviour. i am not overreacting am i?! ahhh i just dont

>understand why she wont swallow her ego and see the kids with

>my or my husband there!!

--

Katrina

April 7, 2011

From what I understand, the school office will have a card for you to write down

who may or may not pick up your child from school. You can simply write

" pick-up allowed by mother and father and/or (designated individual) only. " If

your nada manages to pick up your child from her school anyway, you then can

then choose to initiate a legal restraining order against her. Me personally,

I believe in playing hard-ball with bpd and npd parents who are into violating

boundaries like that.

-Annie

> >Ok so i have been nc with my nada for the last 6mths after she

> >couldnt respe ctmy boundary of if she wants to see her

> >grandchildren than my husband and i need to be both present.

> >she has rejected both me and my husband because we want to have

> >a relationship with my brother who is married to my mum's enemy

> >(my sister in law). so basically although she 'loves' her

> >grandchildren she is not seeing them unless its alone. anways

> >today when i went to pick up my 6 yr old daughter from school i

> >was doing a u turn opposite the school and when i turned i saw

> >my mum driving past ...i was in shock?! what the hell is she

> >thinking...okay stupid question she is not mentally stable. she

> >is playing the matyr rold and i think she is getting desparate.

> >okay so she sees my daughter and than what...i dont trust her-

> >i wouldnt be surprised if she approached me daughter too. i am

> >going to talk to the school about this as i am a bit scared of

> >her behaviour. i am not overreacting am i?! ahhh i just dont

> >understand why she wont swallow her ego and see the kids with

> >my or my husband there!!

>

> --

> Katrina

>

April 7, 2011

Personally, I'd talk to my child's teacher, principal and school secretary.

If there are other parents around I might mention it to them too. There are

also media release forms we do for schools - this may not apply - but if you

don't want people to know what school your child is at you could ask that

their image not be used in any media, like a newspaper photo.

On Thu, Apr 7, 2011 at 12:12 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

> From what I understand, the school office will have a card for you to write

> down who may or may not pick up your child from school. You can simply write

> " pick-up allowed by mother and father and/or (designated individual) only. "

> If your nada manages to pick up your child from her school anyway, you then

> can then choose to initiate a legal restraining order against her. Me

> personally, I believe in playing hard-ball with bpd and npd parents who are

> into violating boundaries like that.

> -Annie

>

> > >Ok so i have been nc with my nada for the last 6mths after she

> > >couldnt respe ctmy boundary of if she wants to see her

> > >grandchildren than my husband and i need to be both present.

> > >she has rejected both me and my husband because we want to have

> > >a relationship with my brother who is married to my mum's enemy

> > >(my sister in law). so basically although she 'loves' her

> > >grandchildren she is not seeing them unless its alone. anways

> > >today when i went to pick up my 6 yr old daughter from school i

> > >was doing a u turn opposite the school and when i turned i saw

> > >my mum driving past ...i was in shock?! what the hell is she

> > >thinking...okay stupid question she is not mentally stable. she

> > >is playing the matyr rold and i think she is getting desparate.

> > >okay so she sees my daughter and than what...i dont trust her-

> > >i wouldnt be surprised if she approached me daughter too. i am

> > >going to talk to the school about this as i am a bit scared of

> > >her behaviour. i am not overreacting am i?! ahhh i just dont

> > >understand why she wont swallow her ego and see the kids with

> > >my or my husband there!!

> >

> > --

> > Katrina

> >

>

April 7, 2011

Better to overreact than to underreact.

I'm sure we've all been burned many times over by giving our BPD parents the

benefit of the doubt.

She might have just been wanting to make her presence known, or to frighten you.

She knows your buttons and reactions like the back of her hand.

So don't let it strike the fear of God into your heart or grow anxious about it.

Talk to the school and be vigilant with arrival and departure times. Address it

practically and try not to fear.

And you're willing to let this woman see your children at all because... why?

>

> Ok so i have been nc with my nada for the last 6mths after she couldnt respe

ctmy boundary of if she wants to see her grandchildren than my husband and i

need to be both present. she has rejected both me and my husband because we want

to have a relationship with my brother who is married to my mum's enemy (my

sister in law). so basically although she 'loves' her grandchildren she is not

seeing them unless its alone. anways today when i went to pick up my 6 yr old

daughter from school i was doing a u turn opposite the school and when i turned

i saw my mum driving past ...i was in shock?! what the hell is she

thinking...okay stupid question she is not mentally stable. she is playing the

matyr rold and i think she is getting desparate. okay so she sees my daughter

and than what...i dont trust her- i wouldnt be surprised if she approached me

daughter too. i am going to talk to the school about this as i am a bit scared

of her behaviour. i am not overreacting am i?! ahhh i just dont understand why

she wont swallow her ego and see the kids with my or my husband there!!

>

April 7, 2011

CALL THE POLICE!! Get a restraining order, or whatever is appropriate! Act

now, and act fast!!!

Tell the school. And fast. And give the Principal very specific instructions:

" My mother is mentally unstable. If she ever shows up, call the authorities

immediately. " Go talk to the teacher face-to-face as well.

Instruct your daughter (in a calm yet serious way) that if Grandma ever shows

up, to run and get a teacher.

No, you are not over-reacting. You simply CAN'T over-react in this situation.

Your mother is mentally ill. She has no morals--no sense of right and wrong.

She will believe she is ABSOLUTELY justified in picking up your daughter just to

jack with you.

No, no, no.

And, let me quickly say I don't usually give advice so strongly. This is just

bad . . .

Also, consider writing a very formal letter stating: " I saw you drive by my

daughter's school. I have instructed the school to call the authorities

immediatly if they see you anywhere near the school. If you attempt any contact

with my daughter or drive by to watch her, I will seek legal counsel and use the

full extent of the law. "

Let nada have a tantrum. Your daughter's safety (if only her emotional safety)

is at stake.

Sheesh. I can't stand BPD crazy.

Hope it goes well--

Karla