Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Well of course you cried. You were a baby getting a shot! But in typical Nada fashion , she ll let you live unprotected and overblow the reaction. She just didnt like the crying. Babies cry. Mothers comfort them. And they get their shots. Except with Nada. Yes, it does get infuriating as we realize the scope of what they did to us. Doug > > Hello, > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. I > have been told my entire life that I am allergic to one on the childhood > vaccines. I have not received this vaccine since 3 months of age. I am > preparing for an intern-ship in which I will be working with children so my > doctor recommended getting some new vaccines to ensure my immunities are up > and that I won't get sick or bring home any illnesses to my kids.(some of > the kids I will be working with have been neglected in medical care). I had > asked my mother, back when we had contact, what reaction I had so that I > could watch for it in my children. She informed me that there was no > obvious sign but that I " cried uncontrollably " . I told my doctor that > because of my mother's habit of blowing medical issues out of proportion. > My doctor agreed with me that I can try the vaccine and that I probably am > not allergic. I got the vaccine and 24 hours later there is no allergic > reaction. Grrr. I am so frustrated that I do not have an accurate medical > history for myself and parents because of her lies. I always have to tell > doctors that I have been told that she or I had (insert xyz) but that she > does not always give the true account so I cannot be sure. Thankfully, I > have finally found a doctor that understands how nada was and does not > criticise or give me the dirty looks when I cannot verify medical history. > I just cannot explain to a doctor that she used doctors to " keep me in line " > or to gain attention for herself either--no one understands. Thanks for > listening. > > BB > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 I agree: after reading posts here and at other groups over the last several years, what hits me the hardest is that the defining traits, behaviors and symptoms of this personality disorder cluster are so blatantly and shockingly THE OPPOSITE of the traits and behaviors necessary for normal, rational, responsible parenting... and nobody in the medical/psychiatric world is pointing this out. Its the elephant in the room that everyone avoids mentioning: those with Cluster B pds should NOT be raising children alone and unsupervised. It seems to me that the key point, the key problem has to do with bpds who are " high-functioning. " These high-functioning pd individuals have the self-control to target only certain chosen individuals for abuse or neglect: their own children, their spouse, or other specific individuals (a sibling, a hated rival at work, etc.) THAT'S what keeps the elephant in the room invisible to most people. The tiny children of such individuals have no voice, and get trained throughout their formative years that the way their mother treats them (neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, etc.) is " normal " and that the child " deserves it. " Spouses tend to just placate, and other adult victims tend to just avoid the pd individual. This is the key issue, and this what we are up against, really. I am proposing that in some cases, this is similar to the chameleon skills of sociopathy. The sociopath (psychopath) can appear to be just a normal, responsible and even charming citizen by day, and lead a double life as a secret serial killer when they know they can get away with it. The book " The Sociopath Next Door " discusses the " garden variety " sociopath who is not a killer, but will target certain individuals for abuse or acts of revenge/retaliation in covert ways. So in an eerily similar way, the high-functioning bpd mother can appear to be a normal, responsible, even perfect mother in public, and yet abuse, neglect or torment her children (or just one of her children) in private... because she has the power, because she feels entitled and justified to behave any way she wants to in her own home, and because she can get away with it. Its the *same behavior*, just on a less lethal scale than, say, a Ted Bundy. This is just my own opinion, I'm speculating out loud. But I think that in some cases what we're calling " bpd " is actually " psychopathy lite. " -Annie > > > > Hello, > > > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. > I > > have been told my entire life that I am allergic to one on the > childhood > > vaccines. I have not received this vaccine since 3 months of age. I am > > preparing for an intern-ship in which I will be working with children > so my > > doctor recommended getting some new vaccines to ensure my immunities > are up > > and that I won't get sick or bring home any illnesses to my kids.(some > of > > the kids I will be working with have been neglected in medical care). > I had > > asked my mother, back when we had contact, what reaction I had so that > I > > could watch for it in my children. She informed me that there was no > > obvious sign but that I " cried uncontrollably " . I told my doctor that > > because of my mother's habit of blowing medical issues out of > proportion. > > My doctor agreed with me that I can try the vaccine and that I > probably am > > not allergic. I got the vaccine and 24 hours later there is no > allergic > > reaction. Grrr. I am so frustrated that I do not have an accurate > medical > > history for myself and parents because of her lies. I always have to > tell > > doctors that I have been told that she or I had (insert xyz) but that > she > > does not always give the true account so I cannot be sure. Thankfully, > I > > have finally found a doctor that understands how nada was and does not > > criticise or give me the dirty looks when I cannot verify medical > history. > > I just cannot explain to a doctor that she used doctors to " keep me in > line " > > or to gain attention for herself either--no one understands. Thanks > for > > listening. > > > > BB > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 The thought has crossed my mind too. Or perhaps a mixture of BPD and psycopathic traits that combine into something incredibly scary. BPD seems to fit my dad well, but there are some traits that I almost wonder if it's psycopathic. Like how he would yell and yell and rage at me for something he thought I did (or blew out of proportion)...he'd only stop or wind down his rhetoric when I started crying. That part seems incredibly strange. There's a few other little things that I wonder about. On Tue, Apr 12, 2011 at 12:27 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > I agree: after reading posts here and at other groups over the last several > years, what hits me the hardest is that the defining traits, behaviors and > symptoms of this personality disorder cluster are so blatantly and > shockingly THE OPPOSITE of the traits and behaviors necessary for normal, > rational, responsible parenting... and nobody in the medical/psychiatric > world is pointing this out. > > Its the elephant in the room that everyone avoids mentioning: those with > Cluster B pds should NOT be raising children alone and unsupervised. > > It seems to me that the key point, the key problem has to do with bpds who > are " high-functioning. " > > These high-functioning pd individuals have the self-control to target only > certain chosen individuals for abuse or neglect: their own children, their > spouse, or other specific individuals (a sibling, a hated rival at work, > etc.) > > THAT'S what keeps the elephant in the room invisible to most people. > > The tiny children of such individuals have no voice, and get trained > throughout their formative years that the way their mother treats them > (neglect, emotional abuse, physical abuse, etc.) is " normal " and that the > child " deserves it. " Spouses tend to just placate, and other adult victims > tend to just avoid the pd individual. > > This is the key issue, and this what we are up against, really. > > I am proposing that in some cases, this is similar to the chameleon skills > of sociopathy. > > The sociopath (psychopath) can appear to be just a normal, responsible and > even charming citizen by day, and lead a double life as a secret serial > killer when they know they can get away with it. The book " The Sociopath > Next Door " discusses the " garden variety " sociopath who is not a killer, but > will target certain individuals for abuse or acts of revenge/retaliation in > covert ways. > > So in an eerily similar way, the high-functioning bpd mother can appear to > be a normal, responsible, even perfect mother in public, and yet abuse, > neglect or torment her children (or just one of her children) in private... > because she has the power, because she feels entitled and justified to > behave any way she wants to in her own home, and because she can get away > with it. > > Its the *same behavior*, just on a less lethal scale than, say, a Ted > Bundy. > > This is just my own opinion, I'm speculating out loud. But I think that in > some cases what we're calling " bpd " is actually " psychopathy lite. " > > -Annie > > > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. > > I > > > have been told my entire life that I am allergic to one on the > > childhood > > > vaccines. I have not received this vaccine since 3 months of age. I am > > > preparing for an intern-ship in which I will be working with children > > so my > > > doctor recommended getting some new vaccines to ensure my immunities > > are up > > > and that I won't get sick or bring home any illnesses to my kids.(some > > of > > > the kids I will be working with have been neglected in medical care). > > I had > > > asked my mother, back when we had contact, what reaction I had so that > > I > > > could watch for it in my children. She informed me that there was no > > > obvious sign but that I " cried uncontrollably " . I told my doctor that > > > because of my mother's habit of blowing medical issues out of > > proportion. > > > My doctor agreed with me that I can try the vaccine and that I > > probably am > > > not allergic. I got the vaccine and 24 hours later there is no > > allergic > > > reaction. Grrr. I am so frustrated that I do not have an accurate > > medical > > > history for myself and parents because of her lies. I always have to > > tell > > > doctors that I have been told that she or I had (insert xyz) but that > > she > > > does not always give the true account so I cannot be sure. Thankfully, > > I > > > have finally found a doctor that understands how nada was and does not > > > criticise or give me the dirty looks when I cannot verify medical > > history. > > > I just cannot explain to a doctor that she used doctors to " keep me in > > line " > > > or to gain attention for herself either--no one understands. Thanks > > for > > > listening. > > > > > > BB > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Annie, That fits my nada. She was always seen as a good mother because she worried about her kids health and always took care of our needs. What people on the outside never saw was that the excessive worry about us was actually to gain attention for her and she would ignore what was best for us and insist on having her way(I used to call her DR. Mom sarcastically). They also never saw how behind she got on bills and begged and cried for others to bail her out (my grandparents bought all my clothes for years) including me as I got older. Excessive and unneeded medical bills and gifts does not a good parent make when the medical care in inappropriate and the gifts unnecessary causing the child to go without other needs (or in my case get them somewhere else) BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 Annie, ya hit the nail on the head. I feel the same way. It's a helpless feeling because the high-functioning nadas are so good at manipulating the " outsiders " that no one knows the trauma that the children face! My nada made herself look like the perfect mother from the outside and TO the outside! But no one knew the truth... no one knew that beneath the facade was this terribly mentally ill and unstable woman who tormented her children! I know this is classic BP, but it's what seems to resonate with me the most. I, personally, cannot help but wonder when I see moms and their kids (sometimes), " Is this a person with BP right in front of me? " How would anyone be able to help the kids if no one can tell that there's a problem?! - Cvidzz > > > > > > Hello, > > > > > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. > > I > > > have been told my entire life that I am allergic to one on the > > childhood > > > vaccines. I have not received this vaccine since 3 months of age. I am > > > preparing for an intern-ship in which I will be working with children > > so my > > > doctor recommended getting some new vaccines to ensure my immunities > > are up > > > and that I won't get sick or bring home any illnesses to my kids.(some > > of > > > the kids I will be working with have been neglected in medical care). > > I had > > > asked my mother, back when we had contact, what reaction I had so that > > I > > > could watch for it in my children. She informed me that there was no > > > obvious sign but that I " cried uncontrollably " . I told my doctor that > > > because of my mother's habit of blowing medical issues out of > > proportion. > > > My doctor agreed with me that I can try the vaccine and that I > > probably am > > > not allergic. I got the vaccine and 24 hours later there is no > > allergic > > > reaction. Grrr. I am so frustrated that I do not have an accurate > > medical > > > history for myself and parents because of her lies. I always have to > > tell > > > doctors that I have been told that she or I had (insert xyz) but that > > she > > > does not always give the true account so I cannot be sure. Thankfully, > > I > > > have finally found a doctor that understands how nada was and does not > > > criticise or give me the dirty looks when I cannot verify medical > > history. > > > I just cannot explain to a doctor that she used doctors to " keep me in > > line " > > > or to gain attention for herself either--no one understands. Thanks > > for > > > listening. > > > > > > BB > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2011 Report Share Posted April 12, 2011 I think only those close to the high-functioning Cluster B individual and those close to the children of a covertly abusive pd parent have any chance of figuring out that something is wrong. (Really similar to the situation in which a child is targeted for sexual abuse by a parent or sibling. The victim is usually coerced in some way to not talk about it, even to the non-abusive parent.) And the problem with THAT is that the one closest to the pd parent AND the children, the one who could actually DO SOMETHING about it, is the other parent: aka " the dishrag. " As we see in post after post after post, year after year, most of the time its the high-functioning bpd woman who tends to marry a man who is NOT confrontational, who is more of a rescuer/nurturer, or placater/enabler type, who will willfully ignore shocking behavior on the part of his wife in order to avoid " getting her riled up. " So, the children of the high-functioning pd mother basically get thrown under the bus. I don't think there is any real solution to this problem unless or until there is regular public education for kids starting in kindergarten and continuing through high school that teaches them (in age-appropriate ways) what mentally healthy behaviors look like and sound like as opposed to what mentally ill, abusive, bullying, or negligent or otherwise dysfunctional, disordered behaviors look like and sound like, (suicidal behaviors, psychotic behaviors, etc.) so that kids themselves will come to recognize if they are receiving abuse/neglect/exploitation/bulling at home or anywhere, and are given opportunities to report it. So when these first batches of kids who have taken " emotional hygiene classes " since the age of 5 grow up and reach dating age they'll be more likely to AVOID dating the guys or girls who demonstrate the traits and behaviors of mental disorder or personality disorder. These teens will have experienced 10 YEARS of film and discussions regarding emotionally healthy ways to deal with problems compared to various disordered, dysfunctional, mentally ill behaviors, traits and symptoms, so that when these teens see emotionally dysfunctional behaviors in a potential dating partner, hopefully they'll RUN FOR THE HILLS! The issue of covert emotional, physical and sexual abuse by parents can, I think, only be addressed from the ground up: education from the earliest ages going forward. -Annie > > Annie, ya hit the nail on the head. I feel the same way. It's a helpless feeling because the high-functioning nadas are so good at manipulating the " outsiders " that no one knows the trauma that the children face! > > My nada made herself look like the perfect mother from the outside and TO the outside! But no one knew the truth... no one knew that beneath the facade was this terribly mentally ill and unstable woman who tormented her children! I know this is classic BP, but it's what seems to resonate with me the most. > > I, personally, cannot help but wonder when I see moms and their kids (sometimes), " Is this a person with BP right in front of me? " How would anyone be able to help the kids if no one can tell that there's a problem?! > > - Cvidzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 I read this stuff and I just get that jaw dropping sense over and over and over - " why did she have me? Why was I born? " Seriously, the BPD does all this stuff like choose a partner who wont question you, set up your whole life to protect your fragile ego, and then risk it all by having a child with needs of her own. I am so confused by this?? The only answer I can come up with is that she believed it would feed her ego to have me. And then I arrived, she was wrong, it was work etc etc etc. But I still feel so lost when I consider it. On Tue, Apr 12, 2011 at 8:55 PM, anuria67854 wrote: > > > I think only those close to the high-functioning Cluster B individual and > those close to the children of a covertly abusive pd parent have any chance > of figuring out that something is wrong. (Really similar to the situation in > which a child is targeted for sexual abuse by a parent or sibling. The > victim is usually coerced in some way to not talk about it, even to the > non-abusive parent.) > > And the problem with THAT is that the one closest to the pd parent AND the > children, the one who could actually DO SOMETHING about it, is the other > parent: aka " the dishrag. " > > As we see in post after post after post, year after year, most of the time > its the high-functioning bpd woman who tends to marry a man who is NOT > confrontational, who is more of a rescuer/nurturer, or placater/enabler > type, who will willfully ignore shocking behavior on the part of his wife in > order to avoid " getting her riled up. " > > So, the children of the high-functioning pd mother basically get thrown > under the bus. > > I don't think there is any real solution to this problem unless or until > there is regular public education for kids starting in kindergarten and > continuing through high school that teaches them (in age-appropriate ways) > what mentally healthy behaviors look like and sound like as opposed to what > mentally ill, abusive, bullying, or negligent or otherwise dysfunctional, > disordered behaviors look like and sound like, (suicidal behaviors, > psychotic behaviors, etc.) so that kids themselves will come to recognize if > they are receiving abuse/neglect/exploitation/bulling at home or anywhere, > and are given opportunities to report it. > > So when these first batches of kids who have taken " emotional hygiene > classes " since the age of 5 grow up and reach dating age they'll be more > likely to AVOID dating the guys or girls who demonstrate the traits and > behaviors of mental disorder or personality disorder. > > These teens will have experienced 10 YEARS of film and discussions > regarding emotionally healthy ways to deal with problems compared to various > disordered, dysfunctional, mentally ill behaviors, traits and symptoms, so > that when these teens see emotionally dysfunctional behaviors in a potential > dating partner, hopefully they'll RUN FOR THE HILLS! > > The issue of covert emotional, physical and sexual abuse by parents can, I > think, only be addressed from the ground up: education from the earliest > ages going forward. > > -Annie > > > > > > > Annie, ya hit the nail on the head. I feel the same way. It's a helpless > feeling because the high-functioning nadas are so good at manipulating the > " outsiders " that no one knows the trauma that the children face! > > > > My nada made herself look like the perfect mother from the outside and TO > the outside! But no one knew the truth... no one knew that beneath the > facade was this terribly mentally ill and unstable woman who tormented her > children! I know this is classic BP, but it's what seems to resonate with me > the most. > > > > I, personally, cannot help but wonder when I see moms and their kids > (sometimes), " Is this a person with BP right in front of me? " How would > anyone be able to help the kids if no one can tell that there's a problem?! > > > > - Cvidzz > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 These nadas of ours just don't get it. Their craving for attention is more important than any consequences of their lies. All my life I grew up thinking I had skin cancer as a child. Yes, I had a large mole removed but it wasn't until a few years ago (I'm 58 now) that I finally pinned her down about the surgery. So all these years I've been checking the " yes " box when filling out medical forms. It was only recently that I realized what a dip she is and came right out and asked her about the surgery (I was filling out yet another form for insurance purposes and cancer isn't a favorite of ins. companies). She admitted I didn't actually have cancer but there was the possibility. What a pain in the ***. > > Hello, > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 I agree, I am coming to the conclusion that personality-disordered people have children for very unhealthy reasons: (a) The PD individual has fantasy-level unrealistic expectations that her child will be a perfect and unending source of narcissistic supply. Her child will consider mommy a deity: look up to mommy, need her and admire her forever, plus, pd mom will get narcissistic feed from other adults RE what a beautiful child she has, what a wonderful mother she is, etc. When reality strikes: the fact that child-rearing is hard work, not glamorous, sometimes thankless and even unpleasant, and is definitely NOT a constant source of narcissistic supply, instead requiring a great deal of effort, empathy, patience and selflessness on *her* part... the pd mother feels betrayed. Tricked into motherhood, perhaps. or ( The PD individual felt pressured and coerced into motherhood by her parents or her husband, or both; in some cultures there is really no option: the culture demands that women marry and produce children. But some women are simply not interested in children and have no maternal feelings, yet they give in to the pressure and have children anyway. I think that having children for these very bad reasons leads to covert resentment of the child, that manifests as overt emotional/verbal abuse, physical abuse, neglect, or exploitation. -Annie > > I read this stuff and I just get that jaw dropping sense over and over and > over - " why did she have me? Why was I born? " > > Seriously, the BPD does all this stuff like choose a partner who wont > question you, set up your whole life to protect your fragile ego, and then > risk it all by having a child with needs of her own. I am so confused by > this?? The only answer I can come up with is that she believed it would feed > her ego to have me. And then I arrived, she was wrong, it was work etc etc > etc. But I still feel so lost when I consider it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 > > I agree, I am coming to the conclusion that personality-disordered people have children for very unhealthy reasons: > > (a) The PD individual has fantasy-level unrealistic expectations that her child will be a perfect and unending source of narcissistic supply. Her child will consider mommy a deity: look up to mommy, need her and admire her forever, plus, pd mom will get narcissistic feed from other adults RE what a beautiful child she has, what a wonderful mother she is, etc. When reality strikes: the fact that child-rearing is hard work, not glamorous, sometimes thankless and even unpleasant, and is definitely NOT a constant source of narcissistic supply, instead requiring a great deal of effort, empathy, patience and selflessness on *her* part... the pd mother feels betrayed. Tricked into motherhood, perhaps. > This is my nada (except for the bit about when reality strikes -lol). To this day this is how she expects motherhood to be and she cannot compute in her own brain why her own daughter is LC. She thinks I have betrayed her! That if I would stop being so stubborn (translation: stop thinking for myself) I would see what a great selfless mother she is and give her the never-ending credit she is due for that! Nav x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Once again Annie you hit it spot on: *The issue of covert emotional, physical and sexual abuse by parents can, I think, only be addressed from the ground up: education from the earliest ages going forward.* I would add to this that those in authority (doctors, police, social workers, ect) should understand that children are not always as articulate as adults and that abuse can be more subtle than bruises. I was vocal about my situation but as a young teen I spoke mostly about individual incidents. I was never able to get anyone to understand the harm that her behavior was doing to me. I would get answers like " when people are mad they say things they don't mean " . I was unable to convey that her verbal abuse was a consistent pattern. My nada was also very good at turning on the tears about how awful I behaved. She convinced the police officer that I reached out to that I was just a " bad kid " and he gave me the " you should be grateful to have a mother who cares about you " speech. This all happened over 10 years ago so hopefully there have been some improvements. If not I would propose that all those in authority should be trained to listen to children and not to just take the word of the parent or take what a child says as an exaggeration. A child who is claiming abuse should NEVER be questioned in the presence of the abusive parent (as I was because a parent has the right to be there if the child is a minor). BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2011 Report Share Posted April 15, 2011 I had a very similar thing. Nada always told me I was allergic to pennicillian. (I know I spelled that wrong! and recently I had a doctor willing to try it out, since he was aware of nada's insanity and that her idea of allergic reaction was chapped lips...needless to say, I am not allergic to pennicillian and can have it now as an antibiotic. > > Hello, > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. I > have been told my entire life that I am allergic to one on the childhood > vaccines. I have not received this vaccine since 3 months of age. I am > preparing for an intern-ship in which I will be working with children so my > doctor recommended getting some new vaccines to ensure my immunities are up > and that I won't get sick or bring home any illnesses to my kids.(some of > the kids I will be working with have been neglected in medical care). I had > asked my mother, back when we had contact, what reaction I had so that I > could watch for it in my children. She informed me that there was no > obvious sign but that I " cried uncontrollably " . I told my doctor that > because of my mother's habit of blowing medical issues out of proportion. > My doctor agreed with me that I can try the vaccine and that I probably am > not allergic. I got the vaccine and 24 hours later there is no allergic > reaction. Grrr. I am so frustrated that I do not have an accurate medical > history for myself and parents because of her lies. I always have to tell > doctors that I have been told that she or I had (insert xyz) but that she > does not always give the true account so I cannot be sure. Thankfully, I > have finally found a doctor that understands how nada was and does not > criticise or give me the dirty looks when I cannot verify medical history. > I just cannot explain to a doctor that she used doctors to " keep me in line " > or to gain attention for herself either--no one understands. Thanks for > listening. > > BB > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 15, 2011 Report Share Posted April 15, 2011 I agree, the bizarre delusions and fantasy-like beliefs that many nadas concoct RE their own health issues and their child's can actually be dangerous to their child's health and safety. Again, there seems to be a tendency toward extremism in this area; black and white thinking, it would seem. Some nadas freak out over the child's every sniffle; illnesses/allergies, etc. exaggerated (or even fabricated) OR with other nadas their child is medically neglected, never taken for normal medical checkups, eye checkups, hearing checkups, dental care, etc. Again, its like handing over an infant to a 3-year-old child to take care of all on her own with no supervision of any kind; its INSANE! NObody in their right mind would do that, yet, that is pretty much what happened to us KOs. Our bpd moms *look* like adults, but bpd is the emotional equivalent of being retarded; they are emotionally retarded and can NOT be trusted with the responsibility of raising a child. They lack the emotional maturity, emotional stability, and responsibility to handle such a task. They trigger into tantrums or depression too easily, they refuse to take responsibility for their own choices and decisions. They resent their child for needing them, they blame the child for things a child has no control over (such as *being a child*!) Why is this issue NOT being addressed by the psychiatric community? To me, that's the biggest conundrum of all. I Do Not Get It. -Annie > > > > Hello, > > > > I just discovered that more of my medical history is an outright lie. I > > have been told my entire life that I am allergic to one on the childhood > > vaccines. I have not received this vaccine since 3 months of age. I am > > preparing for an intern-ship in which I will be working with children so my > > doctor recommended getting some new vaccines to ensure my immunities are up > > and that I won't get sick or bring home any illnesses to my kids.(some of > > the kids I will be working with have been neglected in medical care). I had > > asked my mother, back when we had contact, what reaction I had so that I > > could watch for it in my children. She informed me that there was no > > obvious sign but that I " cried uncontrollably " . I told my doctor that > > because of my mother's habit of blowing medical issues out of proportion. > > My doctor agreed with me that I can try the vaccine and that I probably am > > not allergic. I got the vaccine and 24 hours later there is no allergic > > reaction. Grrr. I am so frustrated that I do not have an accurate medical > > history for myself and parents because of her lies. I always have to tell > > doctors that I have been told that she or I had (insert xyz) but that she > > does not always give the true account so I cannot be sure. Thankfully, I > > have finally found a doctor that understands how nada was and does not > > criticise or give me the dirty looks when I cannot verify medical history. > > I just cannot explain to a doctor that she used doctors to " keep me in line " > > or to gain attention for herself either--no one understands. Thanks for > > listening. > > > > BB > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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