Guest guest Posted April 13, 2011 Report Share Posted April 13, 2011 Hi Im a 32 year old daughter of (not professonally diagnosed but Im really sure)BPD nada. Im oldest child and was the idealized princess tho witnessed abuse of my " fisherman dad " and younger adopted brother who is years out of contact with my family. I was idealized until...my perfect " baby " brother was born when I was 10. Then I swung between perfect and a rotten bratty whore alternatly on a pedestal then abused and degraded. We moved around alot..always with the idea it would be better somewhere else. My dad played along, tho used to take us kids out sometimes and confirm that we were ok. My granddad who I barely knew died when I was 14 and nada went really nutso. I never learned to drive, went to university (tho I got accepted with a large scholarship to a prestigeous pre-med bioscience programme) lied to my " friends " who I could never get close to, to cover up for mommie dearest. I left to study overseas at 21 and was soon followed by the whole family!! I ended up marrying Mr WRONG to avoid moving back with them. After 2 abusive years and with a 10 day old baby, I moved back to the nest...living there for 5.5 years. Nada really broke down what ever was left of me to break, threatening to take my little girl if I ever left, and undermining my every attempt at parenting my own child. My salvation was that my dad arranged a job for my mom, which let me become a person. Until then she was " stay at home nothing " in bed abusing me and my middle brother for not taking care of her and the house well.I used to get most scared when she would get up and start cleaning! I got married 3 years ago to a very good man who accepted my big girl as his own, we now have an almost 2 year old and another on the way in the early fall..which is a dream for me. I run my own daycare and love it. We lived 45 mins away from nada and dad, but when I gave birth to my second we went back there for 2 weeks...BIG mistake. She tried to cause jealousy for my daughter and convince her to move in there!! (she was 6 at the time and in love with her baby sister...she still is) Then I started googling her behaviour and came up with BPD over and over. A good friend lent me UBM which was so scarily real I vomited and Surviving a Borderline Parent workbook. Since then I am stumbling with making boundaries and realizing that I was actually abused and it s not my fault like I always thought! Nada and dad just moved a 10 minute WALK! from me so I am working at putting boundaries in real time :)after she came here one day and swore at my dh calling him my X's name If you read all this thanks! SK Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2011 Report Share Posted April 14, 2011 Welcome! You will find similar stories here and knowing you are not alone has helped many here on their healing journeys. My nada did similar things to your in that she undermined me as a parent, tried to make me think that I was not a good parent and she knew better, and when I stood my ground threatened to take my children by legal action. Stay strong and know that you are doing the best for your wonderful children. We are always here if you need a shoulder. BB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 14, 2011 Report Share Posted April 14, 2011 Thanks so mcuh. It is a relief to write it out and feel I will finally be understood! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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