PTSD strikes today, very relevant article for me...

[Guest guest]

And Annie, that is exactly what I'm dealing with today. My stepfather emailed me

today (nada's husband). If you recall, besides the years of abuse caused by her

BPD behavior, she had a psychotic rage over Christmas that pushed me into PTSD

zone. She has never acknowledged anything happened. And proceeded to do things

like call me at work acting all cheery like nothing was wrong and send me

letters even after I told her not to contact me. The last contact I had was

telling her not to contact me unless it was an emergency or I would change my

phone number and make sure she had no way of contacting me ever again.

Here's his first email:

" :

I am shipping your birthday present to your office from your mom, just wanted to

make sure it will still get to you there. Your mom said she saw something that

said you only had 28 days left in LA! Are you moving, are you still at XXXXXX?

" Steve "

Here is my response: " I have instructed her not to contact me. Do not bother

sending me anything. It will not be opened. "

Okay, little commentary. I have blocked her on every social networking site, on

every chat application, everything. How she found out I was moving, I don't

know. But I am totally pissed because I did not want her to have anything to do

with this or any knowledge of this. This is MY adventure, and I don't want her

to be a part of it in anyway. She can go fuck herself for all I care. (My

apologies for the language, but I just have to express exactly what I'm

feeling.)

He then emailed me from his work, which she does not have access to.

" ,

I am sending this from my work e-mail

The " package " has 2 photo albums from your HS band trip. If you want them I

will send them otherwise I won't.

[stepbro] wants to send you a thank you from Christmas and his Birthday. Is

that OK, and what address should he use.

Hope you are well, please stay in touch. "

Okay, this made me feel bad because he brought up my stepbro, but I could

totally smell the hoovering from this flying monkey. How dare he! And he even

knows that she is totally BPD, so why would he enable her to continue to abuse

me? This really pissed me off. So I responded.

" Anything you send from her will go directly in the trash. I don't care what it

has in it. Tell [stepbro] I appreciate his thank yous but I cannot give you any

additional personal info because I refuse to let her get a hold of it. I have to

protect myself.

One more thing: I will not be 'staying in touch'. She has emotionally abused me

my entire life, and xmas brought up all those memories, plus saddled me with a

nice case of ptsd. I will not have any contact with her, and I will not enable

her to continue to abuse me by letting you relay info to her. She is already

aware of this, and how dare you contact me so nonchalantly after what happened! "

Did I react properly here? I am trying not to let it get to me, because it looks

like classic hoovering to me. But I feel very vulnerable now. How did she find

out about me moving? I feel like someone in the witness protection program, and

someone in the mob just spotted me and now I'm in danger.

Please tell me I did the right thing. I am so angry right now, and I don't want

to have to cut off contact with other people in my family to make sure she's

out, but if they are going to be flying monkeys, then I have to.

>

> Here is the link to this article (which has no " by line " but was posted by

someone using the name " Skittles " ) which I think has a lot of succinctly-put

insights about why it is exactly that its such a wrongness, such a tragedy for

children to be raised by parents who are *not capable* of good-enough parenting:

in other words, parents with personality disorder (or substance abusers.)

>

> http://adultsurvivors.blogspot.com/

>

>

> Here is an excerpt:

>

> " ...Suppose that in the midst of a tornado a child sought comfort and

protection from his parents and was told, " What tornado? It's a beautiful

day...Go outside and play. " That's how crazy and unsafe the world seems to some

children. Some survivors have tried to tell the truth about the abuse and were

called liars or accused of being responsible for the abuser's behavior.

>

> When a victim or survivor is disbelieved, shamed, threatened into silence, or

when the disclosure is minimized or becomes cause for punishment, the trauma

inflicted by willful ignorance compounds the original trauma. Children can

withstand a lot with the help of other people; conversely, the denial or

rejection of children's normal thoughts and feelings about trauma can cause as

much pain as the original trauma. "

>

>

> -Annie

>