Anyone ever experienced this??

[Guest guest]

Anyone experienced this:

 

I have started digging in and working on myself in some areas. D/n say anything

to Nada...however they seem to smell it out!

 

Suddenly she is latching on, then withdrawing, raging and putting me down.

 

Unfortunately, tho I have been working at keeping distance, I tried to share my

hurt at being putdown....stupid stupid stupid. Started crying and was told I am

the only one hurting myself etc...Talk about " whacking the tar baby " .

 

But has anyone ever noticed this? Is it just me? Am I crazy or can they smell it

and get threatened??

 

SK

[Guest guest]

No you are not crazy. Yes, they can smell out the changes. Keep up with the

healthy boundries.

>

> Anyone experienced this:

>  

> I have started digging in and working on myself in some areas. D/n say

anything to Nada...however they seem to smell it out!

>  

> Suddenly she is latching on, then withdrawing, raging and putting me down.

>  

> Unfortunately, tho I have been working at keeping distance, I tried to share

my hurt at being putdown....stupid stupid stupid. Started crying and was told I

am the only one hurting myself etc...Talk about " whacking the tar baby " .

>  

> But has anyone ever noticed this? Is it just me? Am I crazy or can they smell

it and get threatened??

>  

> SK

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yes they can sniff it out and become so threatened by it!

My nada was a queen growing up, then in my adult years went into waif mode. But

once I started figuring out what happened and how I was being abused and

exploited, she went back to being the queen! They will pull all kinds of tricks

to keep you dependent on them.

I agree with Amy, keep putting up your boundaries! And even when you slip a

little, as I still do years later, don't beat your self up. It takes lots and

lots of practice and validation, something we never got growing up. So good for

you for figuring it out and working through it!! And remember that you are and

will be just fine because you are willing to do the emotional work -- and nadas

and fadas are not.

>

> Anyone experienced this:

>  

> I have started digging in and working on myself in some areas. D/n say

anything to Nada...however they seem to smell it out!

>  

> Suddenly she is latching on, then withdrawing, raging and putting me down.

>  

> Unfortunately, tho I have been working at keeping distance, I tried to share

my hurt at being putdown....stupid stupid stupid. Started crying and was told I

am the only one hurting myself etc...Talk about " whacking the tar baby " .

>  

> But has anyone ever noticed this? Is it just me? Am I crazy or can they smell

it and get threatened??

>  

> SK

>

>

[Guest guest]

BP s will not accept any change or move toward health. It is a threat to thier

status quo. And oh my, it is so very BP to attack you, then when you cry or

protest, tell you that you are too sensitive, or I was just joking, or you heard

me wrong.

Nonsense.

They know to a finely honed precision wherer your triggers are. Provoking you

to rages, or tears, is one of their greatest skills.

You should share your pain at the putdowns, but not with nada. Find a friend

you can trust, or a T, or even this group. You can recite to nada the history

of your major surgery, and she will ignore it as if you were not talking, then

interupt you to tell you about how difficult her periods were!

No, it is not just you.

You are a KO. And that, sadly, is what our BP parents do.

While you will not receive empathy from her about your pain, you can set

boundaries with her and refuse to let her visit, or call, or have contact with

her as a result of these put downs.

You need not take it.

Doug

>

> Anyone experienced this:

>  

> I have started digging in and working on myself in some areas. D/n say

anything to Nada...however they seem to smell it out!

>  

> Suddenly she is latching on, then withdrawing, raging and putting me down.

>  

> Unfortunately, tho I have been working at keeping distance, I tried to share

my hurt at being putdown....stupid stupid stupid. Started crying and was told I

am the only one hurting myself etc...Talk about " whacking the tar baby " .

>  

> But has anyone ever noticed this? Is it just me? Am I crazy or can they smell

it and get threatened??

>  

> SK

>

>