Panic attack and boss being inappropriate

[Guest guest]

I am just going to cut and paste my letter complaining to HR (I am leaving this

place in 2 weeks so I will take my chances complaining rather than let this

behavior stand--especially with all I've put up with over the past 4 years).

Hi " person " ,

I just left you a message, and I am waiting for my doctor to call me back, so

while I am waiting, I am just going to email you what occurred. You are aware of

the issues I have with my mentally ill and abusive mother. I have been

experiencing panic attacks for some time, whenever she tries to contact me—since

I have tried to limit her access to me. That is the whole reason I went to you

earlier this year to determine what kind of mental health benefits we had at

" work " , since I did not want it to affect me at work. Today, at lunch, I checked

my personal email on my phone, and saw that my mother had somehow discovered

contact information for me and was trying to contact me again. Let me reiterate

that my mother is abusive, and so the thought of her having access to me

triggers a panic attack, as it did today, but only mild anxiety.

Nonetheless, I found myself having a hard time focusing because of the mild

anxiety attack, and emailed my supervisor, who has been aware that I have had

some panic attacks (and at work) to inform her that due to this anxiety attack I

was feeling unwell and wanted to go home early. Her response to that was that

she was feeling unwell, but did not address my request. I waited a while to see

if I would feel better then went into her office to discuss with her that I

needed to go home. As I began to express to her that my mother was trying to

find ways to contact me and that this had triggered my PTSD, " supervisor " began

to say inappropriate things about how I was being dishonest by not giving my

mother my contact information and asking that others did not give it to her as

well. The moment she started saying this, my panic attack seriously compounded.

I got up to leave very abruptly and she started to laugh.

THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE, TO LAUGH AT A CO-WORKER IN MENTAL ANGUISH. I said

to her as I left, very strongly, " it's not funny. "

When I got into my office, I proceeded to email her and tell her that now that

my panic attack is full-fledged, I am going home. And that I hoped she feels

better. She merely replied: Go home.

In my opinion, there is nothing that makes this behavior appropriate: not from a

supervisor, and personally, not from a friend. I am now fairly uncomfortable and

feeling unsafe with her, and it is not fair for her to create this kind of a

hostile environment by laughing at me when I am in pain.

Please call me ASAP.

Thank you,

[Guest guest]

Glad you had the nerve to stand up for yourself, and glad I'm not the only one

who has had problems with others at work understanding the mental meds thing. 

What I had happen and luckily it's not my direct boss, if I let him know what'

goign on he will put this individual in check.  ONe of those I couldn't stay

becaue I was waiting for a phone call that I should have already gotten from the

doctor's office and the doctors office gohad no way of my contacting a human to

let them know that I will be late getting home because of work and this

individual coudlnt' understand I " M NOT SLEEPIGN AT NIGHT FOR 2 WEEKS straight

due to a med issue if I FAIL TO CONTACT MY DOCTOR I WILL NOT GET BETTER and it

WILL AFFECT YOU TOO because it affects my job performance and mood will go down

and the next time I was sick she acted like I was just short on sleep again,

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR, too bad some of these people do not have issues of their own,

this person was a lot

different when she got sick because I coudl have been nasty to her about it.

more later

proflaf

Subject: Panic attack and boss being inappropriate

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Friday, April 29, 2011, 7:08 PM

 

I am just going to cut and paste my letter complaining to HR (I am leaving

this place in 2 weeks so I will take my chances complaining rather than let this

behavior stand--especially with all I've put up with over the past 4 years).

Hi " person " ,

I just left you a message, and I am waiting for my doctor to call me back, so

while I am waiting, I am just going to email you what occurred. You are aware of

the issues I have with my mentally ill and abusive mother. I have been

experiencing panic attacks for some time, whenever she tries to contact

me—since I have tried to limit her access to me. That is the whole reason I

went to you earlier this year to determine what kind of mental health benefits

we had at " work " , since I did not want it to affect me at work. Today, at lunch,

I checked my personal email on my phone, and saw that my mother had somehow

discovered contact information for me and was trying to contact me again. Let me

reiterate that my mother is abusive, and so the thought of her having access to

me triggers a panic attack, as it did today, but only mild anxiety.

Nonetheless, I found myself having a hard time focusing because of the mild

anxiety attack, and emailed my supervisor, who has been aware that I have had

some panic attacks (and at work) to inform her that due to this anxiety attack I

was feeling unwell and wanted to go home early. Her response to that was that

she was feeling unwell, but did not address my request. I waited a while to see

if I would feel better then went into her office to discuss with her that I

needed to go home. As I began to express to her that my mother was trying to

find ways to contact me and that this had triggered my PTSD, " supervisor " began

to say inappropriate things about how I was being dishonest by not giving my

mother my contact information and asking that others did not give it to her as

well. The moment she started saying this, my panic attack seriously compounded.

I got up to leave very abruptly and she started to laugh.

THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE, TO LAUGH AT A CO-WORKER IN MENTAL ANGUISH. I said

to her as I left, very strongly, " it's not funny. "

When I got into my office, I proceeded to email her and tell her that now that

my panic attack is full-fledged, I am going home. And that I hoped she feels

better. She merely replied: Go home.

In my opinion, there is nothing that makes this behavior appropriate: not from a

supervisor, and personally, not from a friend. I am now fairly uncomfortable and

feeling unsafe with her, and it is not fair for her to create this kind of a

hostile environment by laughing at me when I am in pain.

Please call me ASAP.

Thank you,

[Guest guest]

>

>

> Dear ,

> I am so very, very sorry you were treated in this unprofessional, insensitive,

> and inappropriate manner. Those who do not deal with mental illness in their

> families often ³pooh-pooh² its real pain. If you had been dealing with a

> mother who had advanced cancer, or even Alzheimer¹s disease, I have a feeling

> your boss would have reacted much differently.

>

> This just goes to show that mental illness truly is ³the last taboo².

>

> I pray that someday, it may receive the attention and funding for research,

> that it deserves.

>

> Your pain is so real. May you be surrounded with caring persons who, unlike

> your boss, validate your suffering, and offer you compassion and

> understanding.

>

> (teachermama)

> Daughter of a mother with BPD

>

> I am just going to cut and paste my letter complaining to HR (I am leaving

> this place in 2 weeks so I will take my chances complaining rather than let

> this behavior stand--especially with all I've put up with over the past 4

> years).

>

> Hi " person " ,

>

> I just left you a message, and I am waiting for my doctor to call me back, so

> while I am waiting, I am just going to email you what occurred. You are aware

> of the issues I have with my mentally ill and abusive mother. I have been

> experiencing panic attacks for some time, whenever she tries to contact

> me—since I have tried to limit her access to me. That is the whole reason I

> went to you earlier this year to determine what kind of mental health benefits

> we had at " work " , since I did not want it to affect me at work. Today, at

> lunch, I checked my personal email on my phone, and saw that my mother had

> somehow discovered contact information for me and was trying to contact me

> again. Let me reiterate that my mother is abusive, and so the thought of her

> having access to me triggers a panic attack, as it did today, but only mild

> anxiety.

>

> Nonetheless, I found myself having a hard time focusing because of the mild

> anxiety attack, and emailed my supervisor, who has been aware that I have had

> some panic attacks (and at work) to inform her that due to this anxiety attack

> I was feeling unwell and wanted to go home early. Her response to that was

> that she was feeling unwell, but did not address my request. I waited a while

> to see if I would feel better then went into her office to discuss with her

> that I needed to go home. As I began to express to her that my mother was

> trying to find ways to contact me and that this had triggered my PTSD,

> " supervisor " began to say inappropriate things about how I was being dishonest

> by not giving my mother my contact information and asking that others did not

> give it to her as well. The moment she started saying this, my panic attack

> seriously compounded. I got up to leave very abruptly and she started to

> laugh.

>

> THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE, TO LAUGH AT A CO-WORKER IN MENTAL ANGUISH. I

> said to her as I left, very strongly, " it's not funny. "

>

> When I got into my office, I proceeded to email her and tell her that now that

> my panic attack is full-fledged, I am going home. And that I hoped she feels

> better. She merely replied: Go home.

>

> In my opinion, there is nothing that makes this behavior appropriate: not from

> a supervisor, and personally, not from a friend. I am now fairly uncomfortable

> and feeling unsafe with her, and it is not fair for her to create this kind of

> a hostile environment by laughing at me when I am in pain.

>

> Please call me ASAP.

>

> Thank you,

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thank you so much, , for validating me. The HR person totally understood

where I was coming from and comforted me, but there wasn't much she could do. I

expressed to her that I was concerned my boss would retaliate because I had

stood up for myself so strongly.

Thank you for being here for me. It was definitely a rough day.

>

> >

> >

> > Dear ,

> > I am so very, very sorry you were treated in this unprofessional,

insensitive,

> > and inappropriate manner. Those who do not deal with mental illness in

their

> > families often ³pooh-pooh² its real pain. If you had been dealing with a

> > mother who had advanced cancer, or even Alzheimer¹s disease, I have a

feeling

> > your boss would have reacted much differently.

> >

> > This just goes to show that mental illness truly is ³the last taboo².

> >

> > I pray that someday, it may receive the attention and funding for research,

> > that it deserves.

> >

> > Your pain is so real. May you be surrounded with caring persons who, unlike

> > your boss, validate your suffering, and offer you compassion and

> > understanding.

> >

> > (teachermama)

> > Daughter of a mother with BPD

> >

> > I am just going to cut and paste my letter complaining to HR (I am leaving

> > this place in 2 weeks so I will take my chances complaining rather than let

> > this behavior stand--especially with all I've put up with over the past 4

> > years).

> >

> > Hi " person " ,

> >

> > I just left you a message, and I am waiting for my doctor to call me back,

so

> > while I am waiting, I am just going to email you what occurred. You are

aware

> > of the issues I have with my mentally ill and abusive mother. I have been

> > experiencing panic attacks for some time, whenever she tries to contact

> > me—since I have tried to limit her access to me. That is the whole reason I

> > went to you earlier this year to determine what kind of mental health

benefits

> > we had at " work " , since I did not want it to affect me at work. Today, at

> > lunch, I checked my personal email on my phone, and saw that my mother had

> > somehow discovered contact information for me and was trying to contact me

> > again. Let me reiterate that my mother is abusive, and so the thought of her

> > having access to me triggers a panic attack, as it did today, but only mild

> > anxiety.

> >

> > Nonetheless, I found myself having a hard time focusing because of the mild

> > anxiety attack, and emailed my supervisor, who has been aware that I have

had

> > some panic attacks (and at work) to inform her that due to this anxiety

attack

> > I was feeling unwell and wanted to go home early. Her response to that was

> > that she was feeling unwell, but did not address my request. I waited a

while

> > to see if I would feel better then went into her office to discuss with her

> > that I needed to go home. As I began to express to her that my mother was

> > trying to find ways to contact me and that this had triggered my PTSD,

> > " supervisor " began to say inappropriate things about how I was being

dishonest

> > by not giving my mother my contact information and asking that others did

not

> > give it to her as well. The moment she started saying this, my panic attack

> > seriously compounded. I got up to leave very abruptly and she started to

> > laugh.

> >

> > THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE, TO LAUGH AT A CO-WORKER IN MENTAL ANGUISH. I

> > said to her as I left, very strongly, " it's not funny. "

> >

> > When I got into my office, I proceeded to email her and tell her that now

that

> > my panic attack is full-fledged, I am going home. And that I hoped she feels

> > better. She merely replied: Go home.

> >

> > In my opinion, there is nothing that makes this behavior appropriate: not

from

> > a supervisor, and personally, not from a friend. I am now fairly

uncomfortable

> > and feeling unsafe with her, and it is not fair for her to create this kind

of

> > a hostile environment by laughing at me when I am in pain.

> >

> > Please call me ASAP.

> >

> > Thank you,

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi sweetie, I'm so sorry. The way I function at work is to tell them only

the absolute minimum that they need to know. I feel if they know the truth

that they will discriminate against me. My office knows that my mother is

mentally ill but that's about it. I even have to pay cash for my psychiatric

visits, because my office people are so snoopy that the whole place would

know I was seeing someone if they saw a bill. And yeah, my insurance is so

screwed up that they do see my medical bills. UGH. but I would just say in

the future to try to make it a boundary, and say I " m not feeling well and

leave it at that. That seems to help with the cruelty from the muggles.

So sorry you went through that. What an awful day.

XOXO Girlscout

>

>

> Thank you so much, , for validating me. The HR person totally

> understood where I was coming from and comforted me, but there wasn't much

> she could do. I expressed to her that I was concerned my boss would

> retaliate because I had stood up for myself so strongly.

>

> Thank you for being here for me. It was definitely a rough day.

>

>

>

>

> >

> > >

> > >

> > > Dear ,

> > > I am so very, very sorry you were treated in this unprofessional,

> insensitive,

> > > and inappropriate manner. Those who do not deal with mental illness in

> their

> > > families often ³pooh-pooh² its real pain. If you had been dealing with

> a

> > > mother who had advanced cancer, or even Alzheimer¹s disease, I have a

> feeling

> > > your boss would have reacted much differently.

> > >

> > > This just goes to show that mental illness truly is ³the last taboo².

> > >

> > > I pray that someday, it may receive the attention and funding for

> research,

> > > that it deserves.

> > >

> > > Your pain is so real. May you be surrounded with caring persons who,

> unlike

> > > your boss, validate your suffering, and offer you compassion and

> > > understanding.

> > >

> > > (teachermama)

> > > Daughter of a mother with BPD

> > >

> > > I am just going to cut and paste my letter complaining to HR (I am

> leaving

> > > this place in 2 weeks so I will take my chances complaining rather than

> let

> > > this behavior stand--especially with all I've put up with over the past

> 4

> > > years).

> > >

> > > Hi " person " ,

> > >

> > > I just left you a message, and I am waiting for my doctor to call me

> back, so

> > > while I am waiting, I am just going to email you what occurred. You are

> aware

> > > of the issues I have with my mentally ill and abusive mother. I have

> been

> > > experiencing panic attacks for some time, whenever she tries to contact

> > > me—since I have tried to limit her access to me. That is the whole

> reason I

> > > went to you earlier this year to determine what kind of mental health

> benefits

> > > we had at " work " , since I did not want it to affect me at work. Today,

> at

> > > lunch, I checked my personal email on my phone, and saw that my mother

> had

> > > somehow discovered contact information for me and was trying to contact

> me

> > > again. Let me reiterate that my mother is abusive, and so the thought

> of her

> > > having access to me triggers a panic attack, as it did today, but only

> mild

> > > anxiety.

> > >

> > > Nonetheless, I found myself having a hard time focusing because of the

> mild

> > > anxiety attack, and emailed my supervisor, who has been aware that I

> have had

> > > some panic attacks (and at work) to inform her that due to this anxiety

> attack

> > > I was feeling unwell and wanted to go home early. Her response to that

> was

> > > that she was feeling unwell, but did not address my request. I waited a

> while

> > > to see if I would feel better then went into her office to discuss with

> her

> > > that I needed to go home. As I began to express to her that my mother

> was

> > > trying to find ways to contact me and that this had triggered my PTSD,

> > > " supervisor " began to say inappropriate things about how I was being

> dishonest

> > > by not giving my mother my contact information and asking that others

> did not

> > > give it to her as well. The moment she started saying this, my panic

> attack

> > > seriously compounded. I got up to leave very abruptly and she started

> to

> > > laugh.

> > >

> > > THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE, TO LAUGH AT A CO-WORKER IN MENTAL

> ANGUISH. I

> > > said to her as I left, very strongly, " it's not funny. "

> > >

> > > When I got into my office, I proceeded to email her and tell her that

> now that

> > > my panic attack is full-fledged, I am going home. And that I hoped she

> feels

> > > better. She merely replied: Go home.

> > >

> > > In my opinion, there is nothing that makes this behavior appropriate:

> not from

> > > a supervisor, and personally, not from a friend. I am now fairly

> uncomfortable

> > > and feeling unsafe with her, and it is not fair for her to create this

> kind of

> > > a hostile environment by laughing at me when I am in pain.

> > >

> > > Please call me ASAP.

> > >

> > > Thank you,

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

Yes, lesson learned.

> > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > Dear ,

> > > > I am so very, very sorry you were treated in this unprofessional,

> > insensitive,

> > > > and inappropriate manner. Those who do not deal with mental illness in

> > their

> > > > families often ³pooh-pooh² its real pain. If you had been dealing with

> > a

> > > > mother who had advanced cancer, or even Alzheimer¹s disease, I have a

> > feeling

> > > > your boss would have reacted much differently.

> > > >

> > > > This just goes to show that mental illness truly is ³the last taboo².

> > > >

> > > > I pray that someday, it may receive the attention and funding for

> > research,

> > > > that it deserves.

> > > >

> > > > Your pain is so real. May you be surrounded with caring persons who,

> > unlike

> > > > your boss, validate your suffering, and offer you compassion and

> > > > understanding.

> > > >

> > > > (teachermama)

> > > > Daughter of a mother with BPD

> > > >

> > > > I am just going to cut and paste my letter complaining to HR (I am

> > leaving

> > > > this place in 2 weeks so I will take my chances complaining rather than

> > let

> > > > this behavior stand--especially with all I've put up with over the past

> > 4

> > > > years).

> > > >

> > > > Hi " person " ,

> > > >

> > > > I just left you a message, and I am waiting for my doctor to call me

> > back, so

> > > > while I am waiting, I am just going to email you what occurred. You are

> > aware

> > > > of the issues I have with my mentally ill and abusive mother. I have

> > been

> > > > experiencing panic attacks for some time, whenever she tries to contact

> > > > me—since I have tried to limit her access to me. That is the whole

> > reason I

> > > > went to you earlier this year to determine what kind of mental health

> > benefits

> > > > we had at " work " , since I did not want it to affect me at work. Today,

> > at

> > > > lunch, I checked my personal email on my phone, and saw that my mother

> > had

> > > > somehow discovered contact information for me and was trying to contact

> > me

> > > > again. Let me reiterate that my mother is abusive, and so the thought

> > of her

> > > > having access to me triggers a panic attack, as it did today, but only

> > mild

> > > > anxiety.

> > > >

> > > > Nonetheless, I found myself having a hard time focusing because of the

> > mild

> > > > anxiety attack, and emailed my supervisor, who has been aware that I

> > have had

> > > > some panic attacks (and at work) to inform her that due to this anxiety

> > attack

> > > > I was feeling unwell and wanted to go home early. Her response to that

> > was

> > > > that she was feeling unwell, but did not address my request. I waited a

> > while

> > > > to see if I would feel better then went into her office to discuss with

> > her

> > > > that I needed to go home. As I began to express to her that my mother

> > was

> > > > trying to find ways to contact me and that this had triggered my PTSD,

> > > > " supervisor " began to say inappropriate things about how I was being

> > dishonest

> > > > by not giving my mother my contact information and asking that others

> > did not

> > > > give it to her as well. The moment she started saying this, my panic

> > attack

> > > > seriously compounded. I got up to leave very abruptly and she started

> > to

> > > > laugh.

> > > >

> > > > THAT IS HIGHLY INAPPROPRIATE, TO LAUGH AT A CO-WORKER IN MENTAL

> > ANGUISH. I

> > > > said to her as I left, very strongly, " it's not funny. "

> > > >

> > > > When I got into my office, I proceeded to email her and tell her that

> > now that

> > > > my panic attack is full-fledged, I am going home. And that I hoped she

> > feels

> > > > better. She merely replied: Go home.

> > > >

> > > > In my opinion, there is nothing that makes this behavior appropriate:

> > not from

> > > > a supervisor, and personally, not from a friend. I am now fairly

> > uncomfortable

> > > > and feeling unsafe with her, and it is not fair for her to create this

> > kind of

> > > > a hostile environment by laughing at me when I am in pain.

> > > >

> > > > Please call me ASAP.

> > > >

> > > > Thank you,

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

Sorry, I'm actually going to just vent and say she is such a codependent doofus.

She lives this terribly unhealthy lifestyle, never gets any exercise, eats

terribly, is obese, and gets migraines at least once a week for which she must

stay home from. She has all sorts of health problems and honestly can't figure

out why she's having all these health problems (and not that I'm a doctor but I

don't think her unhealthy habits help at all)and she expects all this sympathy

for her killer migraines she gets ALL the time or her knee pain or back pain

that she gets from walking to the fridge. I'm a marathon runner and sometimes I

get small injuries from training, and I don't complain as much as she does for

stubbing her toe!

Okay, my apologies if I offended anyone with my rant. Obesity and migraines are

serious health issues, and I do not mean any judgement on anyone. She just

expects so much sympathy for what she does to her own body and health. I feel

like saying to her, you know, BOSS, next time you are so upset because you have

a migraine or ANOTHER cold (she gets one every other week), how about I just

laugh at you and your pain and tell you how it's your own fault, instead of

showing any sympathy!

Okay, end rant now.

[Guest guest]

Hey I've ahd that same problem lately, must be in the water!  Might also add

I've seen people go off on eachother and try to say the ohter started it good

one!!!

Marie

Subject: Re: Panic attack and boss being inappropriate

To: WTOAdultChildren1

Date: Saturday, April 30, 2011, 12:52 PM

 

Sorry, I'm actually going to just vent and say she is such a codependent

doofus. She lives this terribly unhealthy lifestyle, never gets any exercise,

eats terribly, is obese, and gets migraines at least once a week for which she

must stay home from. She has all sorts of health problems and honestly can't

figure out why she's having all these health problems (and not that I'm a doctor

but I don't think her unhealthy habits help at all)and she expects all this

sympathy for her killer migraines she gets ALL the time or her knee pain or back

pain that she gets from walking to the fridge. I'm a marathon runner and

sometimes I get small injuries from training, and I don't complain as much as

she does for stubbing her toe!

Okay, my apologies if I offended anyone with my rant. Obesity and migraines are

serious health issues, and I do not mean any judgement on anyone. She just

expects so much sympathy for what she does to her own body and health. I feel

like saying to her, you know, BOSS, next time you are so upset because you have

a migraine or ANOTHER cold (she gets one every other week), how about I just

laugh at you and your pain and tell you how it's your own fault, instead of

showing any sympathy!

Okay, end rant now.

[Guest guest]

Oooh you're competing with your bosses attention-seeking self abuse, except you

have real problems so she can't compete, no wonder she is horrible haha.

Yeah america is weird, this health insurance thing through work, no way would i

want people at work to know anything about my health. I think you're really bold

to tell them what is going on, if everyone did that it would help the taboo

fade.

I was thinking though, at your next job, maybe it would be easier to invent a

story, with details you can keep track of, where the problem is something like

dementia. Is it really making it easier on you, dealing with the judgement and

misperceptions? I can think of a few good reasons one might have a panic attack

and need to go home. I had chronic pain, that was an easy understandable excuse

at one point. I couldn't drive on the pain killers so i had to go home to take a

full dose. People were generally understanding that i was 'waiting for an

operation'. ?? (don't apologise for venting, i'm sure i'll be back to vent

about something at some stage)

>

> Sorry, I'm actually going to just vent and say she is such a codependent

doofus. She lives this terribly unhealthy lifestyle, never gets any exercise,

eats terribly, is obese, and gets migraines at least once a week for which she

must stay home from. She has all sorts of health problems and honestly can't

figure out why she's having all these health problems (and not that I'm a doctor

but I don't think her unhealthy habits help at all)and she expects all this

sympathy for her killer migraines she gets ALL the time or her knee pain or back

pain that she gets from walking to the fridge. I'm a marathon runner and

sometimes I get small injuries from training, and I don't complain as much as

she does for stubbing her toe!

>

> Okay, my apologies if I offended anyone with my rant. Obesity and migraines

are serious health issues, and I do not mean any judgement on anyone. She just

expects so much sympathy for what she does to her own body and health. I feel

like saying to her, you know, BOSS, next time you are so upset because you have

a migraine or ANOTHER cold (she gets one every other week), how about I just

laugh at you and your pain and tell you how it's your own fault, instead of

showing any sympathy!

>

> Okay, end rant now.

>