Grandpa passed Thursday, the funeral will be Tues.

[Guest guest]

Well after 3 grusome weeks of no food or water due to a DNR Grandpa finnaly

passed.

Friday I took my Husband down to visit with my Grandmother (and by default meet

my fada since he lives with her). After 9 years of marriage I guess it was time.

All went ok, fada trying to find worm holes into my life like wanting to come to

one of my husbands gigs (hubbs is in a local metal / alt rock band). Also fada

offered to pay for me to take motorcycle lessons and to give me a motorcycle...

errrr never has that been on my radar as a something to do. I just played it off

with a " well this summer is going to be pretty crazy, dont think I will have

time. " And left it at that.

Now for the part that has me most worried. My baby brother of 17 will be

attending the funeral on Tues. He has had NC since he was 3. Largely due to his

mother and I's design. We did not want Fada to have the chance to put him thru

what I went thru as a kid.

I have sent him reading material about BPD. He knows some of the crap we were

put thru. Suffice to say my biggest worry is that fada will be able to fool my

brother... Oy! My nerves are off the charts!

[Guest guest]

Dear Laurie,

I am sorry about your grandfather's death. I know it was not unexpected, but

certainly still painful.

May the best memories of him live with you forever.

There is no good advice I can currently think of for the situation with your

brother, but I wish you strength, patience and courage.

Arianna

>

> Well after 3 grusome weeks of no food or water due to a DNR Grandpa finnaly

passed.

>

> Friday I took my Husband down to visit with my Grandmother (and by default

meet my fada since he lives with her). After 9 years of marriage I guess it was

time. All went ok, fada trying to find worm holes into my life like wanting to

come to one of my husbands gigs (hubbs is in a local metal / alt rock band).

Also fada offered to pay for me to take motorcycle lessons and to give me a

motorcycle... errrr never has that been on my radar as a something to do. I just

played it off with a " well this summer is going to be pretty crazy, dont think I

will have time. " And left it at that.

>

> Now for the part that has me most worried. My baby brother of 17 will be

attending the funeral on Tues. He has had NC since he was 3. Largely due to his

mother and I's design. We did not want Fada to have the chance to put him thru

what I went thru as a kid.

>

> I have sent him reading material about BPD. He knows some of the crap we were

put thru. Suffice to say my biggest worry is that fada will be able to fool my

brother... Oy! My nerves are off the charts!

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry for leaving everyone in the lurch - work has been insane.

My little brother (we will call him M from here on out)and his mother came to up

to attend as did my Mother. It was odd sitting at the services with me taking

note of all the ex'es in attendance. My Mother and my (ex)Step mom sat together.

M sat by me in the first row. Next to me was Grandma and my cousin. Once

services had drawn to a close we all clustered together making small talk before

M and I went to dinner with the family before moving on to the town where

gravesides would be held. Once dinner was over M and I went outside to talk to

my Uncle (who has been the only support I have had from the FO). As we

approached my Uncle's wife asked M if he had " given his Daddy a hug " . To which M

replied no. My Uncle informed his wife that it was none of their business and

she needed to stay out of it.

It was at this point Fada chose to approach us. He walked straight to M and said

" hello son. " M responded with " hello sir " . Then fada said what I consider to be

one of the most telling examples of his complete and utter selfish nature, " I

haven't seen you since you were 2, how old are you now? " The remainder of the

conversation was just as awkward as what I have detailed until he asked how my

race was (I'm a runner). I briefly highlighted my asthma attack at mile 3 and

the hypothermia at the finish line and then fada turned his attention back to M.

More awkward dialogue ensured until I decided to turn the topic... I asked my

cousin for a smoke (the back story on this is I used the beg fada to quit or not

smoke around M and I when I was little), when fada saw this he both shut up and

walked away. For the record I don't smoke but it was a good way to end things

quickly.

M and I had a chance to educate one another on our musical tastes. I introduced

him to Pink Floyd, Foo Fighters, Flogging Molly, and Rob Zombie. Both of us

allowed the music and the sunshine to decompress on the 45 minute drive over to

the graveside services.

We all arrived early to gravesides (prior to Grandpa actually) and this allowed

more time for catching up. Some cousin came over to fada and hugged him saying

" I haven't seen you in 30 years " - to which he said " Don't feel bad, that's my

daughter we haven't spoke in 15 years and that's my son. I haven't seen him

since he was 2. " I looked at my cousin and said " I'm gonna need a beer after

that " . After that the rest passed with little interaction. M and I were able to

be there for one another and we were both there for Grandma. That was all I

could realistically hope for. But still this just all feels so damn weird.

>

> Well after 3 grusome weeks of no food or water due to a DNR Grandpa finnaly

passed.

>

> Friday I took my Husband down to visit with my Grandmother (and by default

meet my fada since he lives with her). After 9 years of marriage I guess it was

time. All went ok, fada trying to find worm holes into my life like wanting to

come to one of my husbands gigs (hubbs is in a local metal / alt rock band).

Also fada offered to pay for me to take motorcycle lessons and to give me a

motorcycle... errrr never has that been on my radar as a something to do. I just

played it off with a " well this summer is going to be pretty crazy, dont think I

will have time. " And left it at that.

>

> Now for the part that has me most worried. My baby brother of 17 will be

attending the funeral on Tues. He has had NC since he was 3. Largely due to his

mother and I's design. We did not want Fada to have the chance to put him thru

what I went thru as a kid.

>

> I have sent him reading material about BPD. He knows some of the crap we were

put thru. Suffice to say my biggest worry is that fada will be able to fool my

brother... Oy! My nerves are off the charts!

>