How kids perceive adults' behaviors

[Guest guest]

I was reading this article about the little 7 year old children in a second

grade class who were visiting President Bush when he received the news about the

attacks on 9-11-01, and how that impacted these kids. They still remember their

feelings at the time, 10 years later.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20110504/us_time/08599206932700

Several of them spoke of how just reading the President's facial changes, seeing

the look of shock and horror on his face, and yet not hearing one word about why

he was so suddenly upset made these children think *that they had done

something wrong* and made them upset and bewildered.

And this was a stranger. These children knew at age 7 that this was a very

important man, an authority figure, but still this President Bush was a stranger

to them.

How much more devastating and bewildering to a child is it when her own mother

or father becomes enraged and literally gets in the child's face and SCREAMS at

him or her, or slaps her, or beats her?

That goes beyond " upset " and into trauma: actual emotional damage to the child.

Her mommy or daddy has turned into a monster, quite literally and the foundation

of trust can be eroded or even shattered with chronic abuse.

Children are highly sensitive to non-verbal cues and messages from adults,

particularly from their parents, and have no way at all to interpret or put into

context adult behaviors that are bewilderingly abnormal and abusive, and will

totally believe that however their adult caregiver is behaving and treating them

is their own fault.

Just something to be aware of when considering leaving children alone with

someone who has bpd and therefor little or no control over their emotions,

behaviors and impulses.

-Annie

[Guest guest]

I just read it myself, and I have to say that President Bush absolutely did

the right thing for the kids, sticking around so not to further alarm the

little ones, though many have made fun of him for doing that. It's amazing

how much little ones pick up non-verbal cues, and this is precisely why I

worry about my siblings so much.

On Wed, May 4, 2011 at 12:16 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> I was reading this article about the little 7 year old children in a second

> grade class who were visiting President Bush when he received the news about

> the attacks on 9-11-01, and how that impacted these kids. They still

> remember their feelings at the time, 10 years later.

>

> http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20110504/us_time/08599206932700

>

> Several of them spoke of how just reading the President's facial changes,

> seeing the look of shock and horror on his face, and yet not hearing one

> word about why he was so suddenly upset made these children think *that they

> had done something wrong* and made them upset and bewildered.

>

> And this was a stranger. These children knew at age 7 that this was a very

> important man, an authority figure, but still this President Bush was a

> stranger to them.

>

> How much more devastating and bewildering to a child is it when her own

> mother or father becomes enraged and literally gets in the child's face and

> SCREAMS at him or her, or slaps her, or beats her?

> That goes beyond " upset " and into trauma: actual emotional damage to the

> child. Her mommy or daddy has turned into a monster, quite literally and the

> foundation of trust can be eroded or even shattered with chronic abuse.

>

> Children are highly sensitive to non-verbal cues and messages from adults,

> particularly from their parents, and have no way at all to interpret or put

> into context adult behaviors that are bewilderingly abnormal and abusive,

> and will totally believe that however their adult caregiver is behaving and

> treating them is their own fault.

>

> Just something to be aware of when considering leaving children alone with

> someone who has bpd and therefor little or no control over their emotions,

> behaviors and impulses.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Annie,

I was thinking the same thing when I read that article on line, how intuitive

children are, to know something's wrong by body language.

It's true, especially with parents, children will interpret their parents' (and

adults') behavior to their own (the child's own) fault. " she's upset; I must've

done something wrong. "

>

> I was reading this article about the little 7 year old children in a second

grade class who were visiting President Bush when he received the news about the

attacks on 9-11-01, and how that impacted these kids. They still remember their

feelings at the time, 10 years later.

>

> http://news.yahoo.com/s/time/20110504/us_time/08599206932700

>

> Several of them spoke of how just reading the President's facial changes,

seeing the look of shock and horror on his face, and yet not hearing one word

about why he was so suddenly upset made these children think *that they had

done something wrong* and made them upset and bewildered.

>

> And this was a stranger. These children knew at age 7 that this was a very

important man, an authority figure, but still this President Bush was a stranger

to them.

>

> How much more devastating and bewildering to a child is it when her own mother

or father becomes enraged and literally gets in the child's face and SCREAMS at

him or her, or slaps her, or beats her?

> That goes beyond " upset " and into trauma: actual emotional damage to the

child. Her mommy or daddy has turned into a monster, quite literally and the

foundation of trust can be eroded or even shattered with chronic abuse.

>

> Children are highly sensitive to non-verbal cues and messages from adults,

particularly from their parents, and have no way at all to interpret or put into

context adult behaviors that are bewilderingly abnormal and abusive, and will

totally believe that however their adult caregiver is behaving and treating them

is their own fault.

>

> Just something to be aware of when considering leaving children alone with

someone who has bpd and therefor little or no control over their emotions,

behaviors and impulses.

>

> -Annie

>