Do I call cops now or wait?

[Guest guest]

So, 2 months ago grandnada called & that's when I found out they tracked me

down, etc. To make a long story short, I could have filed for a restraining

order but because the abuse happened in another state, I couldn't. But now

I can't remember...

She called here again today. Fiance answered & told her " she doesn't want

anything to do with you or anyone who knows her nada. Don't call here

again. " She asked " why " and he said, " Talk to her mother " and hung up. He

wrote down date/time.

So, do I call cops now? Or do I wait to see if she calls again now that

she's been told not to? Fiance is at work, so, really shouldn't it be him

who calls, if we should call, since he is the one who answered phone? I

have no idea now.

Thoughts?

Mia

[Guest guest]

Mia,

I think that what you need to do now is learn what the laws in

your state have to say about stalking and harassment. Some

states require actual threats or violent acts to take place

before they'll do anything. Others have stronger laws about

harassment and stalking and may not require anything beyond

evidence of repeated calls after you've requested they stop. I'd

call the police now (using the non-emergency number), explain

the situation and what you've done so far and ask what they can

do if she continues to call and what you need to do for them to

be able to do it.

At 04:10 PM 05/06/2011 Justi3 wrote:

>So, 2 months ago grandnada called & that's when I found out

>they tracked me

>down, etc. To make a long story short, I could have filed for

>a restraining

>order but because the abuse happened in another state, I

>couldn't. But now

>I can't remember...

>

>She called here again today. Fiance answered & told her " she

>doesn't want

>anything to do with you or anyone who knows her nada. Don't

>call here

>again. " She asked " why " and he said, " Talk to her mother " and

>hung up. He

>wrote down date/time.

>

>So, do I call cops now? Or do I wait to see if she calls again

>now that

>she's been told not to? Fiance is at work, so, really

>shouldn't it be him

>who calls, if we should call, since he is the one who answered

>phone? I

>have no idea now.

>

>Thoughts?

>

>Mia

--

Katrina

[Guest guest]

At the anti-stalking sites they have a lot of information about this.

The laws about stalking and harassment vary from state to state.

Most of the sites I used to be on (I was stalked and harassed by an ex-friend

via the Internet) recommend that you use a lawyer to send a formal letter on

your behalf, stating plainly that no further contact of any kind is welcome or

wanted. It gets their attention when they receive a " cease and desist " letter

on a law firm's stationery.

But you can send such a letter yourself, by registered/certified mail (so that

you get a written confirmation of receipt.) Once you have sent the formal

letter and received the confirmation, document any and all attempts at contact.

Your motto is now " Document, document, document. " All letters, e-mails, phone

calls are to be kept and filed away; they are evidence. If they show up at your

place, call the police, that will be a public record. If they follow you in

their car, do surveillance on you, show up at your work, phone your work, etc.

write it down, and get people to witness it by signing a paper like " I saw mr or

mrs X at my office on x date at x time " .

After a month or so of collecting evidence, your lawyer will probably be able to

get you a formal restraining order, but the likelihood will vary depending on

the state. Some states have better anti-stalking laws than others.

Best of luck with this, we're rooting for you.

-Annie

>

> So, 2 months ago grandnada called & that's when I found out they tracked me

> down, etc. To make a long story short, I could have filed for a restraining

> order but because the abuse happened in another state, I couldn't. But now

> I can't remember...

>

> She called here again today. Fiance answered & told her " she doesn't want

> anything to do with you or anyone who knows her nada. Don't call here

> again. " She asked " why " and he said, " Talk to her mother " and hung up. He

> wrote down date/time.

>

> So, do I call cops now? Or do I wait to see if she calls again now that

> she's been told not to? Fiance is at work, so, really shouldn't it be him

> who calls, if we should call, since he is the one who answered phone? I

> have no idea now.

>

> Thoughts?

>

> Mia

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Katrina & Annie. When I talked to the family/domestic violence place

2 months ago when she first called, I would have been eligible for a

restraining order if the abuse had happened in this state, but it didn't. I

moved here 2 years ago. She did tell me to document, but I couldn't

remember if she said to call the police the next time they call, or to wait

& see if they called back after we told them " stop calling " , you know?

Katrina, I think calling the non-emergency number for advice is a great

idea. Didn't even occur to me. Thank you. And Annie, I will look more into

the stalking laws in my state, so thank you too.

Been really busy with school. It's getting harder & harder every month but

I still love it and am still doing exceptionally well! Just don't get much

time to sit at the computer anymore.

Mia

On Fri, May 6, 2011 at 5:58 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>

> At the anti-stalking sites they have a lot of information about this.

> The laws about stalking and harassment vary from state to state.

>

> Most of the sites I used to be on (I was stalked and harassed by an

> ex-friend via the Internet) recommend that you use a lawyer to send a formal

> letter on your behalf, stating plainly that no further contact of any kind

> is welcome or wanted. It gets their attention when they receive a " cease and

> desist " letter on a law firm's stationery.

>

> But you can send such a letter yourself, by registered/certified mail (so

> that you get a written confirmation of receipt.) Once you have sent the

> formal letter and received the confirmation, document any and all attempts

> at contact. Your motto is now " Document, document, document. " All letters,

> e-mails, phone calls are to be kept and filed away; they are evidence. If

> they show up at your place, call the police, that will be a public record.

> If they follow you in their car, do surveillance on you, show up at your

> work, phone your work, etc. write it down, and get people to witness it by

> signing a paper like " I saw mr or mrs X at my office on x date at x time " .

>

> After a month or so of collecting evidence, your lawyer will probably be

> able to get you a formal restraining order, but the likelihood will vary

> depending on the state. Some states have better anti-stalking laws than

> others.

>

> Best of luck with this, we're rooting for you.

>

> -Annie

>

>

>

> >

> > So, 2 months ago grandnada called & that's when I found out they tracked

> me

> > down, etc. To make a long story short, I could have filed for a

> restraining

> > order but because the abuse happened in another state, I couldn't. But

> now

> > I can't remember...

> >

> > She called here again today. Fiance answered & told her " she doesn't want

> > anything to do with you or anyone who knows her nada. Don't call here

> > again. " She asked " why " and he said, " Talk to her mother " and hung up. He

> > wrote down date/time.

> >

> > So, do I call cops now? Or do I wait to see if she calls again now that

> > she's been told not to? Fiance is at work, so, really shouldn't it be him

> > who calls, if we should call, since he is the one who answered phone? I

> > have no idea now.

> >

> > Thoughts?

> >

> > Mia

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

And I miss you guys & gals. Hope you're all doing well!

> Thanks Katrina & Annie. When I talked to the family/domestic violence

> place 2 months ago when she first called, I would have been eligible for a

> restraining order if the abuse had happened in this state, but it didn't. I

> moved here 2 years ago. She did tell me to document, but I couldn't

> remember if she said to call the police the next time they call, or to wait

> & see if they called back after we told them " stop calling " , you know?

>

> Katrina, I think calling the non-emergency number for advice is a great

> idea. Didn't even occur to me. Thank you. And Annie, I will look more into

> the stalking laws in my state, so thank you too.

>

> Been really busy with school. It's getting harder & harder every month but

> I still love it and am still doing exceptionally well! Just don't get much

> time to sit at the computer anymore.

>

> Mia

>

> On Fri, May 6, 2011 at 5:58 PM, anuria67854 wrote:

>

>>

>>

>> At the anti-stalking sites they have a lot of information about this.

>> The laws about stalking and harassment vary from state to state.

>>

>> Most of the sites I used to be on (I was stalked and harassed by an

>> ex-friend via the Internet) recommend that you use a lawyer to send a formal

>> letter on your behalf, stating plainly that no further contact of any kind

>> is welcome or wanted. It gets their attention when they receive a " cease and

>> desist " letter on a law firm's stationery.

>>

>> But you can send such a letter yourself, by registered/certified mail (so

>> that you get a written confirmation of receipt.) Once you have sent the

>> formal letter and received the confirmation, document any and all attempts

>> at contact. Your motto is now " Document, document, document. " All letters,

>> e-mails, phone calls are to be kept and filed away; they are evidence. If

>> they show up at your place, call the police, that will be a public record.

>> If they follow you in their car, do surveillance on you, show up at your

>> work, phone your work, etc. write it down, and get people to witness it by

>> signing a paper like " I saw mr or mrs X at my office on x date at x time " .

>>

>> After a month or so of collecting evidence, your lawyer will probably be

>> able to get you a formal restraining order, but the likelihood will vary

>> depending on the state. Some states have better anti-stalking laws than

>> others.

>>

>> Best of luck with this, we're rooting for you.

>>

>> -Annie

>>

>>

>>

>> >

>> > So, 2 months ago grandnada called & that's when I found out they tracked

>> me

>> > down, etc. To make a long story short, I could have filed for a

>> restraining

>> > order but because the abuse happened in another state, I couldn't. But

>> now

>> > I can't remember...

>> >

>> > She called here again today. Fiance answered & told her " she doesn't

>> want

>> > anything to do with you or anyone who knows her nada. Don't call here

>> > again. " She asked " why " and he said, " Talk to her mother " and hung up.

>> He

>> > wrote down date/time.

>> >

>> > So, do I call cops now? Or do I wait to see if she calls again now that

>> > she's been told not to? Fiance is at work, so, really shouldn't it be

>> him

>> > who calls, if we should call, since he is the one who answered phone? I

>> > have no idea now.

>> >

>> > Thoughts?

>> >

>> > Mia

>> >

>> >

>> >

[Guest guest]

Hey Love, What I would do (and what I did when sisterinlawish person stalked

me) is I called the local PD non emergency number and told them I wanted to

file a police report. They gave me some crap, but after they saw the msgs,

they agreed to call this stranger woman who married my brother and tell her

to cease and desist. So then I had the documentation of a police report case

number, and I had also sent a message to this bitch that I was serious and I

would persue stopping her with the full extent of my power.

So I'd try that. The case number can't hurt. The call from the cops can't

hurt - if they will do it. I think it kind of depends on who answers the

phone and how they want to handle it. That was the feeling I got. They also

gave me some crap and told me it was my own fault for using the internet

(HA). I stood strong and got what I wanted in the end.

XOXO

> And I miss you guys & gals. Hope you're all doing well!

>

>

>

> > Thanks Katrina & Annie. When I talked to the family/domestic violence

> > place 2 months ago when she first called, I would have been eligible for

> a

> > restraining order if the abuse had happened in this state, but it didn't.

> I

> > moved here 2 years ago. She did tell me to document, but I couldn't

> > remember if she said to call the police the next time they call, or to

> wait

> > & see if they called back after we told them " stop calling " , you know?

> >

> > Katrina, I think calling the non-emergency number for advice is a great

> > idea. Didn't even occur to me. Thank you. And Annie, I will look more

> into

> > the stalking laws in my state, so thank you too.

> >

> > Been really busy with school. It's getting harder & harder every month

> but

> > I still love it and am still doing exceptionally well! Just don't get

> much

> > time to sit at the computer anymore.

> >

> > Mia

> >

> > On Fri, May 6, 2011 at 5:58 PM, anuria67854 <anuria-67854@...

> >wrote:

> >

> >>

> >>

> >> At the anti-stalking sites they have a lot of information about this.

> >> The laws about stalking and harassment vary from state to state.

> >>

> >> Most of the sites I used to be on (I was stalked and harassed by an

> >> ex-friend via the Internet) recommend that you use a lawyer to send a

> formal

> >> letter on your behalf, stating plainly that no further contact of any

> kind

> >> is welcome or wanted. It gets their attention when they receive a " cease

> and

> >> desist " letter on a law firm's stationery.

> >>

> >> But you can send such a letter yourself, by registered/certified mail

> (so

> >> that you get a written confirmation of receipt.) Once you have sent the

> >> formal letter and received the confirmation, document any and all

> attempts

> >> at contact. Your motto is now " Document, document, document. " All

> letters,

> >> e-mails, phone calls are to be kept and filed away; they are evidence.

> If

> >> they show up at your place, call the police, that will be a public

> record.

> >> If they follow you in their car, do surveillance on you, show up at your

> >> work, phone your work, etc. write it down, and get people to witness it

> by

> >> signing a paper like " I saw mr or mrs X at my office on x date at x

> time " .

> >>

> >> After a month or so of collecting evidence, your lawyer will probably be

> >> able to get you a formal restraining order, but the likelihood will vary

> >> depending on the state. Some states have better anti-stalking laws than

> >> others.

> >>

> >> Best of luck with this, we're rooting for you.

> >>

> >> -Annie

> >>

> >>

> >>

> >> >

> >> > So, 2 months ago grandnada called & that's when I found out they

> tracked

> >> me

> >> > down, etc. To make a long story short, I could have filed for a

> >> restraining

> >> > order but because the abuse happened in another state, I couldn't. But

> >> now

> >> > I can't remember...

> >> >

> >> > She called here again today. Fiance answered & told her " she doesn't

> >> want

> >> > anything to do with you or anyone who knows her nada. Don't call here

> >> > again. " She asked " why " and he said, " Talk to her mother " and hung up.

> >> He

> >> > wrote down date/time.

> >> >

> >> > So, do I call cops now? Or do I wait to see if she calls again now

> that

> >> > she's been told not to? Fiance is at work, so, really shouldn't it be

> >> him

> >> > who calls, if we should call, since he is the one who answered phone?

> I

> >> > have no idea now.

> >> >

> >> > Thoughts?

> >> >

> >> > Mia

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >