Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! Just HOW FAR will the BPD go? The 'story' got better (and more mind bending) at 9pm last night. So, as I stated here, I caught (and called her out) in a BIG LIE on FB yesterday. She followed that up with 7 emails justifying her behaviour and why *I* was wrong to be mad. I know better than to respond. So at 9pm she set one final kapow my way: Yes... you WERE molested/raped by your Uncle when you were little... I wasn't sure how to answer your Q months ago when you asked but YES! But I'm here for you, BabyGirl. Mommy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, I 'knew' this years ago when the ONE FOO told me that was the reason Nada moved us from the Ghetto's of L.A. I've had flashbacks of it. I knew I was also being molested/raped by Nada's much younger (she 31, he 19) livin boyfriend during the ghetto years.... And I asked her several months ago as I tried to confirm some pieces since she was hell bent on 'making things right' and I thought I had her at a vulnerable point. I just wanted my " Mommy " to be honest with me. She flatly denied that anything happened and that I was being " a Bitch dragging up old memories that hurt HER! " So... why tell me yesterday? Back to the point of my intro here.... How far will the BPD go? They'll use tidbits of information to GET YA when they feel attacked (as she did when I called her out on her lie.) Always. Forever. I've let the feelings wash over me last night and this morning. But I think I'm still in shock. Today I'll spend the day cleaning and making the house Spring Pretty. I can control me and make a happy world for MY people. May she rot in hell with her 'truths.' Lynnette > > > > That is all. > > > > Back to your day. > > > > Lynnette > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 how did you even get her to admit to it? Mine won't even touch the subject. When I ask, there is the immediate " no! " to any physical or sexual abuse. Verbal doesn't count you know. I think that I was but I have repressed it. There are too many signs like my nada accusing my ex of maybe molesting my autistic daughter, then asking me if my deceased father ever molested me and also stating that grandnada also thought that my father molested me because he " talked " to me alone alot. He didn't like being around them on visits. But I don't know. I have some weird hangups that lead me to think maybe plus my brother admitted to some behaviors during the brief time he was divorced from his control freak wife. What do you guys think? I am trying to find a therapist but can't get anyone to hire me so i am short on money. On mother's day i called like an idiot after i sent her something that my daughter made. when asked why she didn't acknowledge the gift, she laughed and said that she wanted ME to call HER. She wanted to force me to call her. I laughed and said she won. Then she laughed. All she wants for a relationship is a monthly phone call to drain her negativity on me while superficially focusing on my problems. She didn't wish me a happy mother's day either. Someone tell me she is sick so I can let go please. Thanks.  Felicia Ward Remember that people often have different perceptions of the same reality. You can both be right, and no one has to be wrong, if each of you is willing to let the other person have his or her perceptions and if both of you are willing to compromise. ________________________________ To: WTOAdultChildren1 Sent: Wed, May 11, 2011 10:10:00 AM Subject: Re: Nada is a bitch....  UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE! Just HOW FAR will the BPD go? The 'story' got better (and more mind bending) at 9pm last night. So, as I stated here, I caught (and called her out) in a BIG LIE on FB yesterday. She followed that up with 7 emails justifying her behaviour and why *I* was wrong to be mad. I know better than to respond. So at 9pm she set one final kapow my way: Yes... you WERE molested/raped by your Uncle when you were little... I wasn't sure how to answer your Q months ago when you asked but YES! But I'm here for you, BabyGirl. Mommy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now, I 'knew' this years ago when the ONE FOO told me that was the reason Nada moved us from the Ghetto's of L.A. I've had flashbacks of it. I knew I was also being molested/raped by Nada's much younger (she 31, he 19) livin boyfriend during the ghetto years.... And I asked her several months ago as I tried to confirm some pieces since she was hell bent on 'making things right' and I thought I had her at a vulnerable point. I just wanted my " Mommy " to be honest with me. She flatly denied that anything happened and that I was being " a Bitch dragging up old memories that hurt HER! " So... why tell me yesterday? Back to the point of my intro here.... How far will the BPD go? They'll use tidbits of information to GET YA when they feel attacked (as she did when I called her out on her lie.) Always. Forever. I've let the feelings wash over me last night and this morning. But I think I'm still in shock. Today I'll spend the day cleaning and making the house Spring Pretty. I can control me and make a happy world for MY people. May she rot in hell with her 'truths.' Lynnette > > > > That is all. > > > > Back to your day. > > > > Lynnette > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 She put this out on Facebook on public view??? This is one reason Bruddah has been blocked on my fb and cannot see or reply to my posts anymore. I mean, you really wanted the entire world to know that, right? I'm so sorry. --. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 She didn't put the abuse stuff on FB... she blamed ME for HER not going to a FOO wedding last week. Said it was because " I " still hadn't confirmed with HER my Ed.D. Graduation plans and " $$$ " was tight for 2 trips. Um. She knows what's going on with the University. She knows the Grad date. She's knows the plan. She didn't want to go to the wedding because all but one of her 5 siblings is 'done' with her and they've 'had it.' So, it's easier to tell lies. And I called her out on that. As to people 'knowing' about the abuse... I've come to the conclusion that the hidden impact value of it all is more damaging than being transparent with the people I am close to and trust. So far, no one has run in horror, shamed or shunned me. It's just part of my history. The silence of the culture of abuse in this country does way more life-long damage and makes more people feel like they somehow own part of their abuse. I don't own crap! My Nada put me in these situations. She is responsible for making me accessible to these monsters in obviously horrible environments. I was a child. The initial burdon of responsiblity is HERS. The actionable burden of responsibility belongs to the molestors. I bare none nor will I hide their secrets. That last sentence brought to you by years of therapy. Lynnette > > She put this out on Facebook on public view??? > > This is one reason Bruddah has been blocked on my fb and cannot see or reply to my posts anymore. > > I mean, you really wanted the entire world to know that, right? > > I'm so sorry. > > --. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 She only admitted to it because she was trying to hurt me with it.... 36 years after the fact. She's evil. She's a bitch. As to the first round of 'realization'... that happened as my then boyfriend of many years and I drove through my old ghetto neighborhood on the way to the Queen for dinner. Revelations. Flashbacks. Bad, bad night. I told her this. She looked at me and then said, " well... *I* have breast cancer. " End of discussion. I'm still standing. Lynnette > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 >> So... why tell me yesterday? Because she wanted to hurt you. And because she wanted you to love her for it and be grateful to your loving, supportive, victim of a " Mommy. " But you already knew that. Do you think it would be helpful for you to consider blocking her on FB and/or otherwise eliminating contact? I only virtually know you, and I don't like seeing her do this to you--I can only imagine what you might be feeling. What can you do to protect yourself from these hurtful behaviors? Hugs, Sveta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Wow. Yes, its the repeating patterns of sweet-then-abusive-then-sweet again behavior, the lying, the manipulating, the not really caring about you or your feelings, its always about her and her feelings, over and over and over... that really tell the tale. If you can accept that the pattern will repeat infinitely, then, the puzzle pieces fall into place and you can see the big picture. I predict there will be fewer and fewer instances of her being able to " blindside " you like that from now on, because you can see the big picture. -Annie > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Thank you... I know why she told me yesterday... I wasn't really going to share this here... I'm 'over it' emotionally... but I wanted to help other people who may ask themselves 'why these bpd'ers DO these things....' As to 'blocking'... I'm not sure which would be less drama filled.... That is still being sorted out. Lynnette > >> So... why tell me yesterday? > > > Because she wanted to hurt you. > > And because she wanted you to love her for it and be grateful to your loving, supportive, victim of a " Mommy. " > > But you already knew that. > > Do you think it would be helpful for you to consider blocking her on FB and/or otherwise eliminating contact? I only virtually know you, and I don't like seeing her do this to you--I can only imagine what you might be feeling. What can you do to protect yourself from these hurtful behaviors? > > Hugs, > Sveta > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 She is sick. She doesn't care about you; she isn't capable of caring about anyone but herself. You can let go. -Annie > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Hey, Annie... have you heard? My Nada is a BITCH! Lynnette > > > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Yep. Still a bitch. (Just checking.) LOL -Annie > > > > > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Does anyone remember the song from the South Park move: 's Mom is a Bitch? Download it. It will make you feel better. =) > > > > > > > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Bitch? Does anyone truly believe that the term " bitch " in any way, shape, or form sums up this malicious, disturbing kind of behavior? I don't even think there's a word that exists that could begin to encapsule all the horror and craziness and lies and attempts to virtually annihilate you. You may have this under control with your emotions and be able to deal with it better than I would, but I find this shocking, shocking, shocking. I don't even know what to say! HORRIFIED! > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 11, 2011 Report Share Posted May 11, 2011 Oh Bink, I don't think for one nan-second that Bitch covers it all.... but in the grand history of my life, this is minor of what Nada has put me through. When my therapist told me that I was under, " Chronic long term and ongoing gross abuse " I didn't get it.... that was 1 1/2 years ago. But I get it now. Nada had me to fill HER hole and my God, she's going to keep trying to shove me in it. I refuse. So, I just sit and marvel at the tactics she employs... the deranged reality that this BITCH lives with and all the other stuff... and I'm distanced from it, for the most part, now... If I took it all down and looked at the horror of it up close, I'd go DID and that would be the end of me... the intense examination and re-gaining the " lost years " in my mind aren't a good thing for me... with that thought, my therapist and I have decided to just let a lot of the repressed secrets remain buried. Lynnette > > > > > > > > That is all. > > > > > > > > Back to your day. > > > > > > > > Lynnette > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.