Stalking and harassing behaviors

[Guest guest]

At the site " Shrink4Men " there is a three-part article on stalking and harassing

behaviors and how to handle them. I liked this list of stalking and harassing

behaviors, its very thorough. Not unexpectedly, the author, psychologist Dr.

Tara, shares that individuals who engage in stalking and harassing behaviors are

mentally ill with personality disorder, or other mental illnesses like

schizophrenia.

Here's the list; although its specifically about ex-girlfriends or ex-wives who

engage in stalking and harassing, the list is still comprehensive and useful:

Spying on you.

Following you.

Driving by your house, place of work, school or other locations where you're

likely to be.

Tracing your whereabouts, activities and other relationships on Facebook,

Twitter and other social media.

Hacking into your computer, email, Facebook accounts, etc. (i.e., electronic

stalking).

Creating a false identity to gain access to your Facebook/social media pages or

enlisting a friend to do so.

Stealing your post mail.

Going through your trash.

Breaking into your car, home or office.

Seeking out your friends, family and colleagues to talk about you/get

information about you.

Searching for information about you by means other than asking you for it.

Threatening to harm/kill herself.

Threatening to harm/kill you.

Threatening to harm/kill your children.

Threatening to harm/kill your new wife/girlfriend, children, family members or

friends.

Threatening to harm/kill a pet.

Threatening your job and your reputation.

Threatening your freedom by making false allegations to the police.

Threatening to/destroying your property or your loved one's property.

Sending you unwanted gifts.

Violating protective orders.

Verbally abusing you.

Physically abusing you.

Psychologically abusing you.

Vandalizing your property or a loved one's property.

Threatening to divulge information that would be harmful to you.

Blackmailing you.

Holding you physically or blocking your egress to force you to speak with/listen

to her.

Taking you someplace against your will to force you to talk with her.

Forcing you or tricking you into having sex (e.g., getting you intoxicated).

Calling you repeatedly to discuss " the relationship " or showing up on your

doorstep uninvited to discuss " the relationship. "

Showing up uninvited to your home, school or place of work to see you.

Invading your personal space by standing too close or brushing against you.

Doing unrequested favors.

Insisting that you " be friends. "

Seeking physical proximity by applying for jobs where you work, joining your

gym, church, professional/social/sports groups or clubs, moving into your

neighborhood or building, etc.

Manipulating/coercing you into dating or rekindling the relationship.

Making exaggerated expressions of affection to you and your friends and family

(e.g., saying , " I love you " within a few days/weeks of knowing you or after the

break-up; doing unwanted favors, giving your friends and family gifts, etc.)

" Befriending " your current romantic partner in order to harm the relationship

and/or monitor you.

Telling stories about you to family, friends and loved ones to show how well she

knows you.

" Befriending " your friends to get close to you.

Enlisting your friends to intercede on her behalf to talk or be involved with

her.

Trying to destroy your other relationships—both platonic and intimate.

Calling you repeatedly and hanging up.

Repeatedly texting/emailing/leaving voicemails.

Sending photos of herself or of the two of you or posting photos of the two of

you together on Facebook and other social networks.

Writing about you or tweeting about you.

Smearing and defaming you online to get your attention or to punish you.

" Objectifying " you so that she can abuse, attack, malign and hurt you without

feeling empathy or remorse.

Leaving or sending threatening objects (e.g., marked up photos of you, photos

taken without your knowledge, pornography, weapons, drugs, bizarre objects like

an animal heart or soiled feminine hygiene product, etc.)

Stealing your personal objects to possess " a part of you. "

Using the court and law enforcement to harass you (e.g., making false

allegations, filing restraining orders, petitioning the court for frivolous

changes in custody, etc.)

Attempting to take your children away or limit your access by making false

allegations or engaging in Parental Alienation.

***

Whew! Quite a list! So, keep in mind that if your nada or fada (or anyone,

really) is doing this stuff to you, its considered stalking and harassment and

if you document each instance these behaviors are aimed at you, it may help you

get a restraining order taken out against the individual.

-Annie