Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Hi all, I've just been lurking for a while, but I need some help. Nada is retiring from her job of 28 years June 30, and lately it seems that is all we talk about. Her and my dad took a second mortgage on the house 2 years ago to bail her out of some fairly extensive gambling debt, and it has left them in quite a bind. She is going to have to go back to work. However, she is having a hard time finding a replacement position that she feels is worthy of her skill set. We talk about this quite a lot too. I am having to really dig deep to find the words and actions to be supportive. Any advice? Add to this the fact that I just got a great job with a company I've wanted to work for for a long time, and there was not any support or even a congratulations from Nada. My father who should be a candidate for sainthood, however, was very happy that I got the job and will be living nearby. Thanks! Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted May 19, 2011 Report Share Posted May 19, 2011 Congratulations on the new job! It sounds like your nada is jealous of you. I'm sorry she is not able to give you the support you want. It might be helpful to think about how you can convey to your mother that she can survive on her own. Something like, " You have a lot of experience; I'm sure you will be able to find something that pays the bills, even if it's not the perfect job. " You don't have to feed the pity-monster. You can even tell her you will look forward to hearing about her success when she finds a new position, but that you aren't able to listen to any more about the search. Whatever works for you. And you definitely don't have to support her financially. It really isn't helpful to rescue people who are able to support themselves. Sveta > > Hi all, > I've just been lurking for a while, but I need some help. Nada is retiring from her job of 28 years June 30, and lately it seems that is all we talk about. Her and my dad took a second mortgage on the house 2 years ago to bail her out of some fairly extensive gambling debt, and it has left them in quite a bind. She is going to have to go back to work. > > However, she is having a hard time finding a replacement position that she feels is worthy of her skill set. We talk about this quite a lot too. > > I am having to really dig deep to find the words and actions to be supportive. Any advice? > > Add to this the fact that I just got a great job with a company I've wanted to work for for a long time, and there was not any support or even a congratulations from Nada. > > My father who should be a candidate for sainthood, however, was very happy that I got the job and will be living nearby. > > Thanks! > Cat > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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